LONDON - England - Under the regime of Jeremy Corbyn's Marxist Collectivist Soviet rule, Britain would have the highest taxes in the Western world.
MAJOR NEWS BREAKING
CHICAGO - USA - With a spate of car thefts across America, the police are baffled at the use of a mysterious black box being used to unlock vehicles.
TOLD YOU SO
LOS ANGELES - USA - An angry Octomom, Nadya Suleman, squirted ink at dozens of swimmers today at a local swimming pool, bystanders who witnessed the act told news outlets.
LONDON - England - No – definitely not the kind of drugs you would see on shows such as “The Wire” or “Breaking Bad”. What those kinds of substances do is basically forcing our body to produce something which they’re already perfectly capable of doing on their own.
LONDON - England - Gordon Brown has agreed for an inquiry into the invasion of Iraq which will be held behind closed doors and conducted by government and oil company officials.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Pentagon is planning another Osama Bin Laden shooting because of Obama's appalling approval ratings recently.
INTERNATIONAL WATERS - Mediterranean Sea - The Daily Squib is offering every reader an offer they can't refuse. How about a luxury cruise along the Israeli coast ending in a 10 year stop off in an Israeli prison?
LEEDS - England - A research centre studying primate behaviour has come to the conclusion that some monkeys are conducting experiments on the scientists who are meant to be studying them.
NEWS ON THE HOUR
WASHINGTON DC - USA - The sixteenth president of the United States of America, Abraham Lincoln has been discovered to have had a black father according to historians and scientists working for the Institute of Historical Science which is linked to Harvard university.
WASHINGTON DC - USA - Scientists at the Institute of Historical Research have finally released their findings after five years of dedicated research.