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Home Secretary Sajid Javid Bans Zombie Knives
LONDON - England - The Home Secretary, Sajid Javid vows to ban Zombie knives after being attacked by moped thugs last week.
THE NEWS
Tourists Flock to London to Get Murdered
LONDON - England - The capital city's skyrocketing crime levels are attracting thrill seeking tourists to the Wild West death streets.
Daily Squib Editor Invited to Bilderberg 18
TORINO - Italia - This year's Bilderberg meeting will be heavy with thought and agenda, but tempered with exquisite surroundings and cuisine.
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MAJOR NEWS BREAKING
GDPR: How the EU Managed to Fuck Up the Whole Internet...
BRUSSELS - Belgium - The EU is a morass of regulations, and this time they have their Stasi grip on the Internet with the GDPR.
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RANDOM NEWS
Cruise Tops Scatology Cult Hall of Fame
LOS ANGELES - USA - Actor Tom Cruise has topped the Scatology cult's hall of fame and will be honoured for his stellar work for the toxic poop cult with a lavish ceremony next month.
Michael Jackson to Star in Thriller Remake As Zombie
LOS ANGELES - USA - The King of Pop has been earmarked to return to our screens as a zombie in the new Thriller music video which will be a modern remake of the 1984 hit.
At Least Sarkozy Got to Keep His New Hat
PARIS - France - Things aren't as bad as they seem for ousted Nicolas Sarkozy as he gets to keep his special hat handed to him last year by German chancellor, Angela Merkel.
North Korean Pizza Toppings Cause a Stir
PYONGYANG - North Korea - The launch of Pyongyang's first pizza restaurant brings to fruition a ten-year effort by dictator Kim Jong-il - a renowned gluttonous pig and lover of western food - to create the perfect pizza and pasta in his homeland.
US Election Latest: It’s Over For Trump
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Most of us already knew it was never to be, but now even staunch Trump supporters are starting to feel the pressure of defeat.
Why it is Important to Develop Internet Friendship
FLORIDA - USA - Internet friends can be beneficial to your mental wellbeing and social outlook towards the world.
ALL TIME NEWS ON THE HOUR
Henry Kissinger: "If You Can’t Hear the Drums of War You...
NEW YORK - USA - In a remarkable admission by former Nixon era Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, reveals what is happening at the moment in the world and particularly the Middle East.
Melania: When Donald Farts He is Always a Gentleman
WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Melania Trump has revealed in a Hello magazine exclusive that the president has a problem with flatulence, especially during important meetings.
