New China Directive: All Americans to Get Anal Swabs

anal swabsvideo
SAN FRANCISCO - USA - Chinese President Xi Jinping has ordered his subordinate, Joe Biden to force all American citizens to get anal swabs.

Mysterious Man May Know Where Lady Gaga’s Stolen Dogs Are

Lady Gaga's poor dogs
LOS ANGELES - USA - A mysterious man has come forward with a theory about where Lady Gaga's stolen dogs have gone. Investigation is ongoing.

Remember When the Earth Was So Fresh and New

the earth - end of man
ELYSIUM - What used to be paradise is now a desecrated earth, plundered and mutilated for Millennia, a dystopian tragedy.