17.7 C
London
Sunday, October 13, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldAl Fayed to be Dug Up to Stand Trial at Old Bailey...

Al Fayed to be Dug Up to Stand Trial at Old Bailey For Alleged Offences

LONDON - England - Former Harrods owner Mohammed Al Fayed is to stand trial at the Old Bailey for alleged rape offences.

The sarcophagus and mummy of Al Fayed will be dug up from his tomb to stand trial for the alleged inappropriate relations of over 100 women, a court order filed on Friday revealed. The Egyptian billionaire and owner of high-end London store Harrods died last year at the age of 94.

According to one woman who had worked for the billionaire at the luxury Knightsbridge store, Fayed was “a monster”.

For 25 years he allegedly had his way with female staff at his London department store Harrods and no one said a word about it, but now that he is dead things have changed.

Ever the Anglophile, the Egyptian billionaire had a penchant for blonde English women, and he allegedly used his power and influence to take advantage of many of the female staff who worked in the store.

In a remarkable first, the sarcophagus of Al Fayed will be removed from his tomb for a posthumous trial at the Old Bailey court, where he will be tried and sentenced for his alleged abuse of the accusers. It is expected that Al Fayed’s mummy will be found guilty and given a long sentence.

KC Pierre Amid, who will preside the court case, revealed that the mummified corpse of Fayed will be guarded at all times so the “creepy little fucker” does not try to escape the courthouse or molest any women present, and will be escorted in a guarded armoured prison van to and from the Old Bailey.

The British Museum declined to comment on the news.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!