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   February 9th, 2010  
Apple Stock Jumps After Sudden iFrisbee Release
CUPERTINO - USA - Forget about the iPid or iPad, the iFrisbee has taken the world by storm and as a result, stocks in Apple jumped 36% on Friday's trading.
 
 
Cameron Using Thatcher Egg Diet
Cameron Using Thatcher Egg Diet

LONDON - England - David Cameron is said to be using the Thatcher egg diet in preparation for the upcoming election.

Footballer Sleeps With Other Footballer's Girlfriend
Footballer Sleeps With Other Footballer's Girlfriend

LONDON - England - There was shock in the world of football as it was discovered that a footballer slept with another footballer's girlfriend.

Tony Blair Nominated for Oscar
Tony Blair Nominated for Oscar

LONDON - England - Hollywood producers are clamouring to sign up former prime minister Tony Blair to star in the movies after seeing his amazing performance at...



Andy Murray Swallows Tennis Ball During Final Andy Murray Swallows Tennis Ball During Final

MELBOURNE - Australia - The Rod Laver Arena was treated to a stonking grand slam final with Scot tennis supremo, Andy Murray, who swallowed a whole tennis ball...

Massive Celebrations in Britain's Streets as Recession End Announced Massive Celebrations in Britain's Streets as Recession End Announced

LONDON - England - All across the country there were celebrations and street parties to rival even the Queen's Golden Jubilee, the BBC reported.

BNP Wants Foreign Factory Robots Out BNP Wants Foreign Factory Robots Out

DAGENHAM - England - British National Party leader, Nick Griffin has today called for the deportation of all foreign robots working in UK factories.

United Nations to Evacuate Brangelina Children After Split United Nations to Evacuate Brangelina Children After Split

LOS ANGELES - USA - The United Nations has mobilised an evacuation force for the adopted children of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie after they announced their...


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LONDON - England - As the decline of the family unit continues its spiralling free fall into the chaotic hell of Labour's Britain, is there any hope...




Bankers Furious After...
Bankers Furious After...

PORT-AU-PRINCE - Haiti - Twelve Goldman Sachs bankers, who were to receive...




Funky Obama Photos Could...
Funky Obama Photos Could...

BOSTON - USA - Despite Barack Obama touting pictures from his youth in the...




British Airways Staff to...
British Airways Staff to...

LONDON - England - In a bid to stop BA cabin crew from striking or trying to...




How 50 Per Cent Tax Rise...
How 50 Per Cent Tax Rise...

LONDON - England - Labour's punitive draconian tax rules could ensure the first...




 
 


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Bin Laden Could Be Walking Around In Many Disguises Says FBI Bin Laden Could Be Walking Around In Many Disguises Says FBI

WASHINGTON D.C.- USA - The FBI has published fresh photographs of Osama bin Laden to try to track down the Al-Qaida leader.

China to Censor China China to Censor China

BEIJING - China - The Chinese president has declared all out war on China and will censor all communication in the communist country, an information ministry...

Tony Blair to be Paid to Talk About His War Crimes Tony Blair to be Paid to Talk About His War Crimes

TEXAS - USA - In a bid to get the former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, to talk about his war crimes in Iraq, a group of Texan businessmen are paying him...

First 3D Porn Movie Starring Roseanne Barr Causes Audience to Flee First 3D Porn Movie Starring Roseanne Barr Causes Audience to Flee

ALABAMA - USA - Sophisticated polarised 3D cameras have filmed the world's first porn movie with footage that has mesmerised audiences with its realism.




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Oil Futures to Surge as Obama's General...
Oil Futures to Surge as Obama's General...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Long term oil futures have been...

President Obama Sure Makes a Good Cup...
President Obama Sure Makes a Good Cup...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama invited the Ku...

New Retirement Age to be Increased to...
New Retirement Age to be Increased to...

LONDON - England - Workers would only be forced to retire...


opinion  |  popular  |  film  |  music |  art
















Man Tweets During Heart Attack

NEW YORK - USA - Ed Herlihy, a 58 year old...

Al Gore to Make New Film: 'A Convenient...

COPENHAGEN - Denmark - Hot air peddler and liar...

Berlusconi to Star in New Rocky Movie

MILAN - Italy - Prime Minister, Silvio...

Tiger Woods to Take Break After 18 Hole...

FLORIDA - USA - Champion golfer, Tiger Woods, is...


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Tiger Woods Visits O.J. Simpson

LOVELOCK - USA - Fallen golf star, Tiger Woods,...


Urgent Climate Change Communique from...

COPENHAGEN - Denmark - Supreme unelected Soviet...


Conman Outrages Veterans at Military...

BEDWORTH - England - A hunt was underway today...


Nobel Peace Prize Winner Sends More...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - This year's Nobel Peace...


Ex-Bush Admin Praises Afghan Obama...

TEXAS - USA - All of the previous Bush...










More Good News Again Today More Good News Again Today

LONDON - England - We're still being ruled by Gordon Brown's Labour plus there's nothing good on the telly, oh and we're all skint as well.

Terror as Murdoch Empire Threatens to Pull News Sites from Internet Terror as Murdoch Empire Threatens to Pull News Sites from Internet

LONDON - England - There was terror in the Google head office and internet today after Rupert Murdoch threatened to pull all of his media outlets from the web...

Virginia Tech Graduate Doesn't Go on Shooting Spree Virginia Tech Graduate Doesn't Go on Shooting Spree

VIRGINIA - USA - Americans were in shock today after it was revealed a Virginia Tech graduate did not commit a mass shooting atrocity.

Unelected Comrade Brown Thanks 'British' People for Sleepwalking into EU Marxist State Unelected Comrade Brown Thanks 'British' People for Sleepwalking into EU Marxist State

SECTOR 08 - Sector 34 - Unelected supreme commander in chief, Comrade Gordon Brown, today thanked the British proletariat for sitting back and watching all of...


British Troops Training Afghans to Shoot British Troops More Accurately British Troops Training Afghans to Shoot British Troops More Accurately

HELMAND - Afghanistan - In a bid to speed up the process of imminent defeat in a hostile country where everyone is out to get them, Western military troops are...

Random Horrific Daily Mail Headline Every 30 Seconds in UK Random Horrific Daily Mail Headline Every 30 Seconds in UK

LONDON - England - The Daily Mail pumps out more horrific stories per day than any other fear-mongering media outlet, says an independent press body.

American Files Lawsuit Against Self American Files Lawsuit Against Self

BOSTON - USA - An American man who had his feelings hurt after wrestling with his own conscience is set to sue himself say his lawyers.

Scientists Create Baby that Only Shits Once a Month Scientists Create Baby that Only Shits Once a Month

OSLO - Norway - Research scientists have come up with a medical breakthrough that may revolutionise the art of bringing up children.

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  Fair and Balanced News Updates
George W Bush Lost on Runaway Homemade Balloon George W Bush Lost on Runaway Homemade Balloon

DENVER - Colorado - Ex-president, George W Bush led the US authorities on a wild chase yesterday when it was claimed he was inside a runaway hot air balloon...

Comrade Brown Urges People Not to be Fooled by 'Bourgeois Capitalist Tory Scum' Comrade Brown Urges People Not to be Fooled by 'Bourgeois Capitalist Tory Scum'

LONDON - England - Unelected Supreme Commander of the British Soviet People, Comrade Gordon Brown, has told of his fears of a revolution led by remnants of a...

Leading Think Tank: Leading Think Tank: "Gordon Brown Blinded by Power"

LONDON - England - Gordon Brown's policies have come under attack from a leading think tank for being blinded by his "clunking fist of ultimate power and...

Man Wins Nobel Prize for Doing Absolutely Nothing Man Wins Nobel Prize for Doing Absolutely Nothing

OSLO - Norway - An American man was today given one of the world's most prestigious prizes for doing nothing.




£1 million Earner Paxman to Join Marxist Commune £1 million Earner Paxman to Join Marxist Commune

GRIMSDALE - England - Jeremy Paxman, presenter of the BBC's Newsnight, has vowed to join a Marxist commune in the country to prove his devout communist...

McDonald's Restaurants to Open at the Louvre McDonald's Restaurants to Open at the Louvre

PARIS - France - In a move that may put many satirists out of a job, the world famous seat of art, the Louvre is to install McDonalds fast food stores on its...

Bill Clinton Coached David Letterman Says Ex-Producer Bill Clinton Coached David Letterman Says Ex-Producer

NEW YORK - USA - Ex-Late Show producer, Ernie Pozlowski, has told of how ex-president Clinton would visit Letterman and instruct him how to conduct illicit...

G7 G4 G20 and G54 to Meet in One Room G7 G4 G20 and G54 to Meet in One Room

NEW YORK - USA - Plans are being hatched to host a massive G meeting of countries that could possibly challenge the ascendancy of G nations worldwide all in...







Gordon Brown's 'Cuts' Cause for Concern? Gordon Brown's 'Cuts' Cause for Concern?

LONDON - England - Political pundits in Westminster were said to be baffled by the revelation that the ailing unelected PM may have missed a letter in the...

Gordon Brown Promises More Muskets for Troops During Afghan Visit Gordon Brown Promises More Muskets for Troops During Afghan Visit

KABUL - Afghanistan - Gordon Brown, the unelected prime minister, has praised the work of British troops in Afghanistan during a visit to the country and...

Tory Weapon that Will Clinch the Election Win Tory Weapon that Will Clinch the Election Win

LONDON - England - The British Conservative party has a secret weapon so devastating, and so all-encompassing that it will ensure the public vote out the...

Jack Tweed's Roast Duck Recipe Does Not Go Down Well in Jail Jack Tweed's Roast Duck Recipe Does Not Go Down Well in Jail

LONDON - England - Jack Tweed has been cooking up a storm and has severely angered fellow jail inmates by roasting a duck speciality recipe behind bars, a...



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