More Chance of Getting Amy Winehouse to Perform Than Michael Jackson at O2 Arena

May 23rd, 2009

by Aye Toaldyewsew

Amy Winehouse

LONDON - England - Wacko Jacko fans today were braced for the terrible news that they had more chance of seeing Amy Winehouse perform at the O2 concerts than their pop pedo peddler hero, Michael Jackson.

Promoters who had booked Jackson are now saying that they have more chance of Amy Winehouse turning up than the king of pop.

"I've been speaking to my people today and we have agreed that we have more of a chance of booking that total waste of space, Amy Winehouse who can't even string a coherent sentence together anymore because she's killed off half her brain with drug and alcohol abuse. Yeah, we've got more of a chance of flying her in than Michael Jackson," Neil Funkhauser, a promoter for the O2 arena told Sky News.

Thousands of Jackson fans have now besieged the telephone hotlines trying to get a refund.

"C'mon you never thought it would happen did you? You've got more chance of being hit by a meteorite than seeing the self proclaimed king of pop for 50 concerts. The brainwashed fans lost every little cent because it's all non refundable. They can't even get into the telephone line to get their money from the promoters. It's like goddam carnage out there. You ever seen a bunch of Wacko Jacko fans all crying and moaning in the same room? I just couldn't help myself but giggle my ass off like a little girl when I saw that yesterday," Mario Shaun, a security guard at a central London hotel told our paper.

Michael Jackson, the Bernie Madoff of Pop

What was meant to be a lavish extravaganza at the O2 venue in London's docklands has now turned out to be one of the largest hoaxes ever witnessed in musical history.

"You've got more chance of seeing Elvis make a comeback by landing on stage in a fuckin' spaceship than seeing Michael Jackson in concert," Mr Funkhauser added.

If you were stupid enough to purchase Michael Jackson tickets, forget about ever getting your money back.

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damn i been trying to get a refund for the past day and noone even answers a phone & no email or anything. we been ripped bad i paid £98 for my ticket and i know ppl who paid way more. i been crying all day and night give us our fucking money back bastards. i don't believe Michael is dead, theres no way he is dead its all a bag lie...i know hes alive comeback michael please! :-(

Deacon 27-06-2009

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So, michael jackson has skin cancer.

Don't blame it on the sunshine!

Gazz 31-05-2009

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He will perform via Giant screens and the latest digital technology MJ will appear in the 02 with a special 26 year delay on all video.

mysnakewassick 27-05-2009

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Michaels gonna be there I know it. I've got tickets to see 12 of his shows and am flying over from Vancouver B.C.

I've booked all the hotels, the flights and a hire car.

Michael is gonna be there he aint gonna let his fans down you'll see.

Love you Michael you're the best!

Gary Londell 24-05-2009

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the shows havn't been canceled yet. They don't even start until july, so how can anyone say it's a hoax, until the day comes and if he doesn't show. If it doesn't happen then it's can be considered a hoax. I can't believe that an O2 spokesman would be giggling at the sight of people trying to get a refund. It's his job on the line if this falls through, the O2 will be in financial ruin.

Steve 24-05-2009

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Undertakers have announced that when Michael Jackson dies, he will be melted down to make toys, so the kids can play with him for a change.

Barny 23-05-2009

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