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September 6th, 2010
Cost Cutting Ryanair Planes to be Flown On Autopilot
DUBLIN - Ireland - The boss of the budget airline Ryanair has called for costly human pilots to be removed from the flight deck to save money and suggested that air...


Bush Returns to Arena With Six-Figure Memoir Book Deal
Bush Returns to Arena With Six-Figure Memoir Book Deal

TEXAS - USA - George W. Bush returns to the public arena since leaving office 19 months ago with a memoir and some words of wisdom for those who buy the...
Tony Blair Book Bestseller in Iraq
Tony Blair Book Bestseller in Iraq

BAGHDAD - Iraq - Former British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, made a surprise visit to the war-torn capital city today to attend a much appreciated book signing.

Government Pathologist Says Dr. Kelly's Death 'Textbook...
Government Pathologist Says Dr. Kelly's Death 'Textbook...

LONDON - England - The untimely death of Iraq weapons expert, David Kelly, was a "textbook case" of suicide, according to the government appointed...
Fury as Furious Politicians Spit Fury at Furious Voters
Fury as Furious Politicians Spit Fury at Furious Voters

LONDON - England - There was fury at a rally in Parliament square yesterday as furious crowds of furious protesters reacted furiously to furious Coalition...

Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation
Obama Having White House Redecorated During Vacation

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Hussein Obama is having the White House redecorated to suit his tastes better whilst he and his family enjoy their sixth vacation...

Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies'
Universities Teach Degrees in 'Unemployment Studies'

NEWCASTLE - England - Universities will be forced to give compulsory courses to all students in unemployment studies says the chief coalition education Tsar,...

It Beggars Belief: How the Fake Politicians are Raking in...
It Beggars Belief: How the Fake Politicians are Raking in...

WESTMINSTER - England - Their apparently pitiful existence and pleas for money attract the generosity of many taxpayers. But some politicians are making the...
Recession Britain:...
Recession Britain:...

LONDON - England - In a bid to increase productivity during the recession, politicians have ordered scientists and mathematicians to find a way of...
Spanish Hotel Wants...
Spanish Hotel Wants...

MARBELLA - Spain - The $4000 per night Hotel Villa Padierna in which Michelle...
Ground Zero Mosque to be...
Ground Zero Mosque to be...

NEW YORK - USA - Americans are eagerly awaiting the unveiling of the huge...
Gazza Visits Flood Hit...
Gazza Visits Flood Hit...

SINDH - Pakistan - Ex-champion footballer Paul Gascoigne has flown out to the...
Armed Robber Forces Local...
Armed Robber Forces Local...

STOKE-ON-TRENT - England - Susan Benson, 34, was so desperate for a bank loan...


Obama Blames BP for Slave Trade
Obama Blames BP for Slave Trade

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Obama has added another point of blame on BP by saying they were responsible for the slave trade hundreds of years ago.

Body Scanner Operator Caught Masturbating at Colorado...
Body Scanner Operator Caught Masturbating at Colorado...

DENVER - USA - A full body scanner operator was caught masturbating during a scanning session by airport staff late Tuesday.



Brown Voted Best British PM by Al Qaeda
Brown Voted Best British PM by Al Qaeda

LAHORE - Pakistan - Gordon Brown has been voted the best British Prime Minister since the Second World War by a poll of more than 100 Al Qaeda leaders and...

Jacqui Smith to 'Sex Up' BBC
Jacqui Smith to 'Sex Up' BBC

LONDON - England - Former Soviet mistress of the politburo, Jacqui Smith has secured a top job at the BBC, her agent announced today.
World
Surprise as Leak Reveals Thousands More...
Surprise as Leak Reveals Thousands More...

KABUL - Afghanistan - There was worldwide surprise today...
World
Brokeback Coalition Riding on into...
Brokeback Coalition Riding on into...

LONDON - England - Since their momentous election 'win',...
World
Saudi Arabia Bans the French Beret
Saudi Arabia Bans the French Beret

RIYADH - Saudi Arabia - One of the most prominent Islamic...
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World
David Cameron Presents Obama With Spray...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Barack Obama has been given...

World
David Cameron Launches His Big Society

LIVERPOOL - England - Prime Minister David...

World
Former London Mayor Ken Livingstone's...

LONDON - England - Ken Livingstone showed off his...

World
How Muslim Women in France are Skirting...

MARSEILLES - France - After the French...

World
Gordon Brown Laughing While UK...

FIFE - Scotland - Safe in his bolthole far away...

World
Northumberland Police Discover Location...

ROTHBURY - England - The Northumberland...

World
Tears of Joy for Lindsay Lohan as She...

LOS ANGELES - USA - Hollywood celebrity, Lindsay...

World
Oprah Winfrey Uncovered as Russian Spy

CHICAGO - USA - American chat show host, Oprah...

World
Hillary Clinton Eats Fly Off Obama's...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Foreign Secretary, Hillary...

World
Obama to be Reprogrammed in Sleep Says...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The ailing president of the...

World
Unite Airlines to Launch New...

LIVERPOOL - England - The Unite union is to...

World
Times Disappears From Internet

LONDON - England - The famous Times newspaper,...

World
Gordon Brown Now a Kirkcaldy Homeless...

KIRKCALDY - Scotland - Since leaving office, the...

World
UK Sado-Masochists Hail Cameron's...

LONDON - England - There was widespread joy...

World
Roseanne Barr Barred From Visiting...

GUATEMALA CITY - Guatemala - An impromptu visit...

World
I Will Re-awaken Enterprise by...

LONDON - England - David Cameron will pledge...

World
Nazi Stormtroopers Thwart Humanitarian...

WARSAW - Poland - Nazi stormtroopers have stormed...

World
Obama Finally Finds His Birth...

LOUISIANA - USA - Whilst walking on a local beach...

World
US Finds Oil in Gulf of Mexico

LOUISIANA - USA - President Barack Obama today...

World
Eurozone Countries Renamed as Numbered...

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The president of the...

World
Gordon Brown to be Prosecuted for High...

LONDON - England - An arrest warrant has been put...

World
EU Asks Germany to Bail Out Duchess of...

FRANKFURT - Germany - In addition to bailing out...

World
Duchess of York Sells Daughter to Saudi...

JEDDAH - Saudi Arabia - Sarah Ferguson has sold...

World
Germany Needs to Give Daily Squib Money...

BERLIN - Germany - The diligent German taxpayers...

World
Con-Dem Partnership Condemns UK to Tax...

LONDON - England - The new conservative liberal...

World
David Miliband Grows Moustache

LONDON - England - Labour political contender,...

World
After the Marriage the Honeymoon

LONDON - England - David Cameron and Nick Clegg...

World
Comrade Brown is Dead!

LONDON - England - It is with great sadness that...

World
Tories Offer Lib Dems 4-Slice Toaster...

LONDON - England - Counteracting the Labour party...

World
Unelected Labour PM to be Replaced by...

LONDON - England - Britain's Labour party is to...

World
Mugabe Announces Official UK Visit to...

HARARE - Zimbabwe - Speaking from one of his...

World
Gordon Brown Survives Coup Attempt to...

LONDON - England - Supreme unelected comrade in...

World
Gordon Brown Set to Win 100% Election...

GRIMLY - England - The people of Soviet Britain...

World
Gordon Brown Heckles Own Speech

GRIMCHESTER - England - Speaking in the small...

World
Brown Gets Counselling After Being...

LONDON - England - After Mr Brown's inauspicious...

World
It's Now Illegal to Have a Tan in...

ARIZONA - USA - Anyone with a tan or brown skin...

World
Gordon Brown Releases Labour...

ROCHDALE - England - Set to be the new rallying...

World
Obama Spotted Hiding in Woods From...

NORTH CAROLINA - USA - President Barack Obama,...
World
Ambulance Service Getting Ready For...

LONDON - England - The ambulance service have...
World
Tory Plot to Kidnap Clegg Foiled by...

LONDON - England - In dawn raids this morning, 38...
World
We Should Have Volcanic Eruptions More...

LONDON - England - Ahh, the silence, the sweet...
World
2010 UK Election Debate: "Beam Me...

ALPHA CENTAURI - Centaurus - Three political...
World
Sarah Brown's Foot Astounds Hindus at...

LONDON - England - At a recent visit to a Hindu...
World
Germany Considering Invading Poland For...

BERLIN - Germany - After the tragic death of most...

World
Tories to Inherit Britain's Chav...

LONDON - England - Labour's legacy on Britain is...

World
New Gordon Brown Bully Video Game is...

LONDON - England - The new game featuring the...

World
Kyrgyzstan Car Scrappage Scheme Gets...

BISHKEK - Kyrgyzstan - Taking a leaf out...

World
US Honours More Deaths of Innocent...

BAGHDAD - Iraq - With the American forces hiding...

World
UK Government Wants Everyone to Live in...

LONDON - England - Gordon Brown's government...

World
MPs Ordered to Wear 'For Hire' Signs on...

LONDON - England - New directives for...

World
Catholic Church to Replace Choir Boys...

VATICAN CITY - Italy - The Pope has announced...

World
Tony Puts the Boot in One Last Time

LONDON - England - Stopping off in the UK just...

World
Willy Walsh Introduces Sharia Law onto...

LONDON - England - British Airways flight...

World
Daily Squib Office Invaded by Chinese...

LONDON - England - The Daily Squib offices were...

World
UK and US to Undergo 'Special...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - Political commentators on...

World
Clinton Wants New Shirt From Bush

PORT AU PRINCE - Haiti - In what was supposed to...

World
British Cider Drinkers Riot in Streets

SOMERSET - England - Budget day has not gone down...

World
Gordon Told to Impregnate Wife Sarah or...

LONDON - England - After news came through to the...

World
Labour's Final Solution: Death to the...

LONDON - England - Comrade Darling today unveiled...

World
Labour: "Deny Everything"

LONDON - England - Criminals working in...

World
Obama Bankrupting What 'Whitey' Built Up

WASHINGTON DC - USA - President Barack Hussein...

World
Last Chance to Search for Tiananmen...

BEIJING - China - The 1989 Tiananmen Square...

World
Catholic Priests to Say 'Sorry'

VATICAN CITY - Italy - The Pope has communicated...

World
UK Strikers to Go on Strike About...

LONDON - England - The Spring of Discontent is...

World
You Think Miaow Miaow's Bad Try the...

LONDON - England - Dangerous drug Miaow Miaow,...

World
Pelosi Vows to Go Naked if Healthcare...

SAN FRANCISCO - USA - House Speaker Nancy Pelosi...

World
Ku Klux Klan Advising Obama on Job...

WASHINGTON DC - USA - The Ku Klux Klan have flown...

World
Riots in Greece as Greek Workforce Told...

ATHENS - Greece - There were prolonged riots in...

World
David Cameron Not Good at Making Coffee...

LONDON - England - Conservative party leader and...

World
Bob Geldof to Organise Another Fund...

LONDON - England - Sir Bob Geldof is busy...

World
Feral Campbell May be Released Back...

NEW YORK - USA - Feral animal, Naomi Campbell,...

World
Brown Vows to Change Electoral System...

LONDON - England - The supreme unelected leader,...

World
Huge Increase in Ticket Sales to See...

FLORIDA - USA - The owners of Seaworld have...

World
French Government Wants Women to Stop...

PARIS - France - The French government has...
  DAILY SQUIB NEWS

  Fair and Balanced News Updates
Mel Gibson in Post Production for Next Film Mel Gibson in Post Production for Next Film "Lethal Mouth II"

LOS ANGELES - USA - Mel Gibson is in the throes of finalising filming for his next installment of the Lethal Mouth series, Hollywood insiders have disclosed.

Mel Gibson Going Out With Octomom? Mel Gibson Going Out With Octomom?

LOS ANGELES - USA - Troubled Hollywood icon, Mel Gibson was photographed with the world famous Octomom in Hollywood yesterday.

Whitney Houston Eats Whole Crack Rock During CBS Early Show Appearance Whitney Houston Eats Whole Crack Rock During CBS Early Show Appearance

CHICAGO - USA - CBS's Early Show was at the centre of a massive drugs bust this morning when special guest, Whitney Houston, ate a whole rock of crack whilst...

Why it Doesn't Matter if You Miss a Call on an iPhone 4 Why it Doesn't Matter if You Miss a Call on an iPhone 4

CUPERTINO - USA - Thousands of iPhone customers are discovering that missing a call on the new Apple gadget of the century is, actually, no big deal.



World Celebrates South African Decision to Jail Paris Hilton World Celebrates South African Decision to Jail Paris Hilton

PORT ELIZABETH - South Africa - All across the world, there have been mass parties and celebrations after the sleazy vapid American socialite, Paris Hilton,...

Daily Squib World Cup Offer Giving Away Free Vuvuzela CD to Every Reader Daily Squib World Cup Offer Giving Away Free Vuvuzela CD to Every Reader

LONDON - England - Every lucky Daily Squib reader can now get their own eagerly awaited FREE vuvuzela album simply by phoning our dedicated telephone number.

England Football Team Fly into Scotland for Heroes Welcome England Football Team Fly into Scotland for Heroes Welcome

GLASGOW - Scotland - The Scots today greeted the returning England football team with jubilation after their amazing 4-1 defeat by Germany in South Africa...

England Win 2010 World Cup by Beating Germany England Win 2010 World Cup by Beating Germany

BLOEMFONTEIN - South Africa - England have won the world cup in spectacular fashion after a 3 - 0 win against Germany.




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