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Hamas Hails Victory as Militants Will Be Released and Israel Moves Out of Gaza

Gavin Pondscum
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4
Hamas Hails Victory as Militants Will Be Released and Israel Moves Out of Gaza

Any deal brokered by the Biden administration is not a deal, it’s a capitulation. To this end, Israel and Netanyahu will be looked upon as a laughingstock as Hamas simply resumes what it was doing before the war with impunity.

The UN and other global agencies will rebuild Gaza with money from U.S. taxpayers soon enough.

Either you clean house properly or you don’t. Israel’s entire operation was to completely eradicate and destroy the terrorist group Hamas, yet here they are standing laughing in Israel’s face even stronger than before. The October 7 attacks, a distant forgotten memory, are now viewed as a wholesale success for Gaza.

Hamas will resume their extensive tunnel building operations along with the smuggling of arms and explosives into Gaza.

We’re back to square one — rinse and repeat ad infinitum.

Nothing to see here folks, please look away.

 

Mayor Bass Diverted Crucial Fire Fighting Funds to Woke LGBTQP Projects

Gavin Pondscum
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0
Mayor Bass Diverted Crucial Fire Fighting Funds to Woke LGBTQP Projects

The Democrat mayor of Los Angeles, Karen Bass, slashed the Los Angeles Fire Department’s (LAFD) budget by $17.6 million for fiscal year 2024 to 2025 and prior to the devastating Los Angeles fires she was planning a further $49 million cut. She then squandered and misappropriated crucial fire department funds to erroneous, wasteful woke projects within the city.

There was planning for woke, trans, gay, black diversity projects and issues, but little or no planning for halting or slowing down inevitable wildfires.

Fighting fires and safeguarding the people of Los Angeles and their properties was therefore not a priority for Mayor Bass, who has consistently demonstrated to be more interested in spending money on spurious, ineffectual woke socialist diversity equity inclusivity schemes instead.

LOS ANGELES FIRE DEPARTMENT FUNDS DIVERTED

  • Los Angeles diverted $100,000 of fire funds to the Civil + Human Rights and Equity Department for a “Midnight Stroll Transgender Cafe,” according to its 2024 to 2025 budget.
  • The Cultural Affairs Department Special Appropriations budget burned through $100,000 of fire department funds for the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) Awards.
  • The budget squandered $8,670 of LAFD money for the “One Institute the International Gay and Lesbian Archives.”
  • The budget diverted $13,000 of wildfire funds for “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Heritage Month Programs”.
  • The mayor misappropriated $14,010 of fire Dept. funds to the “Gay Men’s Chorus of Los Angeles.”
  • Los Angeles’ African American History Month, American Indian Heritage Month, Latino Heritage Month and Asian American History Month Programs were each allocated $13,000 of crucial firefighting funds.
  • The budget also improperly misused funds earmarked for wildfires of $170,000 in total for “Social Justice Art-Worker Investments.”

The list goes on and on…

 

Harry and Meghan: “Trump needs to butt out of our life!”

Gavin Pondscum
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1
Harry and Meghan: “Trump needs to butt out of our life!”

The former royals have been fuming after Facebook dumped the woke far-left biased fact-checkers who were censoring everything on the social network. The reason for the dumping of the biased fact-checkers was because Mark Zuckerberg has now effectively crawled up Trump’s rectum in a major brown-nosing attempt to carry favour with the Teflon Don. Now, Harry and Meghan have been dragged into the torrid affair as Trump is a man who does not like interference into his decision-making process, he does not want Harry and Meghan showing their disapproval of his orders to the Zuck telling him to dump the fact-checkers.

harry-drugs-charles-coronation 2

 

Vice versa, Harry and Meghan don’t like being told to toe the line and have told Trump to butt out of their business. Prince Harry’s U.S. Visa issue is a certain bone of contention that he is being threatened with, but Harry is defiant about his alleged drug use.

“Yeah, what’s that fat orange bastard going to do, huh? Yeah, I wrote in my biography Spare that I took hard drugs like cocaine, and I’ve done shrooms. So what! So fucking what! It’s a free country, I can do what I want, and I’m royal. I got more royalty in my left nostril which I use to allegedly snort up copious lines of Charlie with than you Trumpington, innit! Bruh needs to get a life! Stop stalking me, you stupid smelly orange muppet bitch!”

Fighting words from the prince, indeed. Keep tokin’ that Camberwell Carrot, Harry, keep tokin’.

Transform Your Job Prospects with a Striking Resume

Gavin Pondscum
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0
Transform Your Job Prospects with a Striking Resume

In today’s competitive job market, where your fate is decided by the calculations of Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS), the humble resume has become a tool of opportunity. Genuine skills and real-life experience are important, but understanding how to tailor your resume with relevant keywords can be the key to making it to the interview stage.

Thankfully, this article will guide you through the steps to help you create a resume that leaves a positive, lasting impression.

The Modern Resume: A Masterpiece of Precision

pexels-cottonbro-5989925 job prospectsOnce a simple document showcasing your achievements, the resume has now evolved into an essential representation of your professional journey. Need communication skills?

Highlight your ability to “spearhead cross-departmental synergy.” Want to show leadership? Include how you “optimized team dynamics to enhance productivity by 300%.” These details reflect a well-crafted strategy to capture attention in a crowded field.

In an environment where first impressions are often made digitally, every detail matters. The language, structure, and presentation of your resume create a narrative about who you are as a professional. A carefully thought-out approach can turn even a modest career history into a compelling story of achievement and potential.

Templates: The Fast Track to Professional Presentation

pexels-cottonbro-4068291Why reinvent the wheel when you can select a polished template? Platforms like Adobe Express make it easier than ever to create resumes that look professional and convey your strengths clearly. Using a CV template ensures your resume maintains consistency and adheres to industry standards.

Choose a sleek template, focus on relevant content, and ensure the design is modern enough to impress both hiring managers and ATS software. Templates simplify formatting, allowing you to prioritise substance over aesthetics without sacrificing visual appeal.

Experiment with colour accents or subtle borders to make your resume visually appealing while retaining professionalism.

Keyword Integration: The Key to Success

Your resume is often screened by algorithms looking for keywords like “team player,” “dynamic,” and “results-driven.” Incorporate these strategically and naturally. The ATS values alignment with the job description, so adapt your language accordingly.

This is where customisation comes into play. Review each job posting carefully and identify the specific skills and attributes emphasised. Tailoring your resume for each role not only improves your chances of passing ATS screenings but also demonstrates genuine interest and effort to hiring managers.

Don’t hesitate to draw on varied experiences to build a picture of your versatility. For instance, highlight transferable skills gained from volunteer work or side projects that align with the job’s requirements. This approach not only strengthens your application but also helps to paint a broader picture of your capabilities.

Formatting: Because Clarity Matters

pexels-prateekkatyal-2694344Keep your resume concise and within two pages. Use bullet points to organise information effectively and ensure consistency in formatting. Avoid overly intricate designs that may distract from your qualifications. Fonts like Arial, Calibri, or Times New Roman ensure readability, while uniform margins create a tidy appearance.

Headings and subheadings guide the reader’s eye, making your document easy to scan. Don’t underestimate the impact of clear sections labelled “Experience,” “Skills,” and “Education.” These simple details make your resume both visually appealing and functional.

Add a Touch of Personality

pexels-photos-by-errn-1047744-3074653While your resume should exude professionalism, a hint of personality can make it stand out. Employers might appreciate a mention of your passion for “sustainability initiatives,” but ensure the focus remains on your qualifications and suitability for the role. Including volunteer work or extracurricular activities adds a personal touch, showcasing qualities like dedication and teamwork.

For instance, if you’ve worked with an organisation that aligns with the company’s values, such as environmental advocacy, highlight it. These details create connections that resonate with hiring managers, making you more memorable among candidates.

Customisation: Show You Care

pexels-cottonbro-6604500Tailoring your resume for each job application is essential. It’s not about just listing qualifications—it’s about aligning your experiences and skills with the specific role.

Reorganise your skills and achievements to fit the job description, and rewrite your objective statement to reflect the company’s values.

Customisation involves more than adding relevant keywords. Consider the tone of the job description. If the posting highlights a collaborative environment, emphasise teamwork in your achievements. Similarly, for roles requiring innovation, showcase creative problem-solving skills.

Leveraging Online Tools

pexels-johnniel-danao-420898718-15577145Creating an impactful resume doesn’t have to be time-consuming. Online platforms like Adobe Express offer templates and tools that streamline the process. These resources simplify formatting, ensuring consistency across applications while allowing for personalisation.

Some platforms also include features like real-time editing, collaboration options, and design customisation. Explore these tools to find a style that aligns with your professional goals and industry standards. They save time and reduce the likelihood of errors, enhancing your overall presentation.

The Role of ATS in the Hiring Process

Many employers rely on ATS to filter resumes before they even reach human eyes. These systems search for keywords and phrases that match the job description, making it critical to optimise your document accordingly.

Use standard headings like “Experience” and “Education,” which ATS easily recognise. Avoid unconventional layouts or overly complex designs that could confuse the system. Remember, the goal is to make your resume accessible to both ATS and hiring managers.

Tips for Success Beyond the Resume

Your resume is just one component of a successful job application. Pair it with a tailored cover letter that provides context for your achievements and demonstrates enthusiasm for the role. Networking also plays a crucial role in connecting with opportunities. Attend industry events, engage on professional platforms like LinkedIn, and maintain connections with peers.

Ultimately, a well-crafted resume opens doors, but it’s your preparation and confidence that help you seize opportunities. Approach each application with attention to detail and a clear understanding of the employer’s needs. With persistence and adaptability, you’ll position yourself as a top candidate.

Remember, in today’s job market, the resume is your introduction. From the ATS filters to the hiring managers who review your CV, every element matters. So, polish your resume, master the art of effective communication, and approach the process with confidence. With the right preparation, your resume can open doors to new opportunities.

Californian Smelt Fish Valued at $198 Billion by Commodities Exchange

Gavin Pondscum
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1
Californian Smelt Fish Valued at $198 Billion by Commodities Exchange

The Chicago Commodities Board of Trade has valued Californian smelt fish at $198 billion, which is the approximate cost of the Californian fire damage. The smelt fish now stand as the most expensive fish species in the world, and their value is currently rising at an exponential rate.

Smelt gold rush

Miles Carbunkle, head of the board of trade in Chicago, said that traders are “going crazy” for smelt, especially after the disastrous Californian fire, prices are continuing to increase rapidly.

“We first thought it was rather fishy, like you know, that fish smell you get if you sniff your wife’s crusty panties when she hasn’t washed for a few days. Anyway, I digress, thanks to Governor Gavin Newsom and his incompetence, traders are making a fucking killing with smelt fish. Thanks to your negligence, Gavin, I bought four Ferraris and a Lamborghini just yesterday and am even thinking of buying an entire street in Pacific Palisades tomorrow.”

There are fears however that smelt could now be endangered by a new gold rush, as people with nets have been seen searching rivers in Northern California for the valuable fish.

“We now got smelt hunters. People are buying large nets and fishing our rivers without the necessary permits. If we catch anyone, we will arrest and fine you heavily,” Sheriff Alonso Moseley told Fox News on Wednesday.

CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING SMELT RECIPE

Why the Abolition of Private Property is the Next Step

Gavin Pondscum
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20
Why the Abolition of Private Property is the Next Step

It’s happening in Hawaii, it will now happen in California, and it’s happening in the UK. The future is one of Smart Cities where much of the population will not own anything. The initial proposals for this system were birthed by organisations like the World Economic Forum amongst many others. Large corporations are snapping up vast swathes of land and properties to implement a sinister form of Marxism deployed on populations. The key factor schwab wef davosto remember here is that with the abolition of private property, individual land ownership ceases to exist, and populations thus become weaker and more dependent on the state. In the UK, the Labour government is utilising this technique on the farmers and their generational land by decreasing the threshold for Inheritance tax, therefore when the farmer dies, the family cannot continue to own the farm land but are forced to sell it. This is when the large corporations or the state step in, either utilising the land for wind farms or solar farms. Naturally, this process will decrease production of food within the UK, but to the masterminds of this agenda, the general populace is not a factor to care about. The Labour government does not care about the population, and their modus operandi is to create even more poverty, which leads to early death. This is another reason why they are targeting pensioners in the UK, as they want them to die early so that their wealth can be transferred to the state quicker. The introduction of the CBDC (Central Bank Digital Currency) will also be the step after most of private property is abolished. This is part of the Global Collectivist Marxist Great Reset, which is a form of collectivism and wealth redistribution proposed by the WEF and BIS (Bank for International Settlements). Collectivism is part of the communist ideology, but what will make things different to the past communist vision, will be the utilisation of technology to control and subvert populations, as a form of oligarchical digital feudalism. For the controllers, the people who are above politics, and above business, and are unseen and unknown entities, democracy has become way too messy. Visible characters like Elon Musk may seem pretty high up and rich, but he is nothing but a useful idiot. Anyone who is visible is a mere pawn of the greater agenda. The UN and WEF have even praised China as the ideal model for all nations to employ regarding their technique in population governance and assimilation of certain capitalistic economic mechanisms within their core communist ideological framework. The truth is that China is actually poverty-stricken in most areas and much of their “economic miracle” is one big lie, especially with alarm bells ringing in much of the country’s faltering economy. There currently is a big rush now to implement AI and integrate it into all areas of society and employment because the globe is moving towards the post consumerist era where all private property will be abolished. Artificial Intelligence and robots will essentially replace the current working population because humans are not deemed as productive or useful any more. Through Smart Cities, individuals who do not toe the line, or are seen as disruptive, will simply be cancelled. Without the ability to purchase anything, or have their heat cut off by those controlling the grid, many people will thus fall into poverty, eventually dying early. Behaviour modification chips will also be utilised on certain individuals in the future. For the controllers, the biggest problem at the moment are the ‘useless eaters’ vast parts of the population who are deemed as completely ineffectual and without any purpose. Much of the population are now a burden, as in the past they may have been tax slaves, but now with the advent of AI will render them even more useless than they already were. The controllers have already utilised the populations of the past to amass vast riches, and they have used this time to become so technologically advanced that they just have no need for the tax slaves of the past any more. In simple terms, populations will be whittled down slowly, a little here, a little there, maybe a pandemic here, a war there, little by little goes unnoticed to the blind population who are being led to the slaughterhouse day by day and are blinded and over-stimulated by a deluge of constant entertainment pumped into their microplastic infused mediocre brains.

Joe Biden Unloads Billions For California Fire Mismanagement Disaster

Gavin Pondscum
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2
Joe Biden Unloads Billions For California Fire Mismanagement Disaster

Why not fuck the U.S. economy even further into the red, there’s a lot more damage Joe Biden can commit in his last days as absentee president. Given the okay from Washington, Governor Newsom is proposing California provide at least $2.5 billion in additional funding for ongoing emergency response efforts and to jumpstart recovery efforts for Los Angeles. This is the first tranche of funds being unloaded, there will be more to come. Don’t mention the $36 Trillion U.S.debt or anything. Surely Trump can do something to stop the madness when he comes into the White House?

Executive order upon executive orders

The vegetable in the White House was told to okay the funds to FEMA, handing out 0% loans to anyone who wants to build a home in the toxic smouldering wasteland of Los Angeles. California is also adding another $2.6 billion for free healthcare to 700,000 illegal migrants, adding more to the Californian deficit of $68 billion.

No doubt fraud will itself be a large part of the money handouts, just like literally billions of dollars were lost during the pandemic giveaway. Roll up, roll up — free money, free loans, and free smelt sandwiches for everyone.

Joe Biden, a walking zombie, will possibly go down as even a worse president than Jimmy Carter, and that’s saying something.

The brown nosing event for his foreign policy yesterday did not mention the disastrous exit from Afghanistan, where billions of U.S. military hardware was gifted to the Taliban and dozens of U.S. personnel died after a bomb detonation.

Under Biden’s open door policy, over 8 million illegal migrants were let into the country.

The fires in Los Angeles are bad, but the Biden presidency has been the biggest disaster the USA and globe has witnessed in decades.

Comrade Starmer Not Invited to Capitalist Swine Trump Inauguration

Gavin Pondscum
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2
Comrade Starmer Not Invited to Capitalist Swine Trump Inauguration

Comrades, commissars, Labour Party hierarchy, Bolsheviks, apparatchiks, Big State civil servants, train drivers, Marxist union bosses, NHS managers, and the rest of the scum proletariat. Screw the poxy Trump inauguration for the USA capitalist scum.

It has come to the attention of Supreme Comrade Starmer of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain that he has NOT been invited to the presidential inauguration of the capitalist swine Donald J. Trump. This is no problem for Comrade Starmer because he never wanted to go to such a disgusting event anyway. Why would the Supreme Comrade in charge of Soviet Britain be seen at such a blatantly capitalist, imperialist show of bourgeois wealthy greed and selfish indulgence? No! Comrade Starmer will NOT attend!


Instead, the selfless dear Comrade Starmer will be visiting a sock factory in East Grinstead where he will display his staunch communist inspection methods and maybe pick out a nice big pair of red socks for his meagre soviet wardrobe.

Here in Soviet Britain we pride ourselves in pursuing our progressive inclusive Marxist woke ideals, but we do not support things like Trumpism, orange skin, private business, jobs, wealth creation, aspiration, democracy or freedom of speech. To us, these are disgusting, selfish and greedy ideals that we steer away from.

If Trump or any of his capitalist swine lackeys reads this statement, good, we hope you read it and hang your heads in abject shame for not having as much virtue as us, and we sincerely hope your swine filled capitalist scum Trump inauguration sucks donkey poop.

Commissar Rachel Reeves’ Job is Secure There is Nothing to See Here

Gavin Pondscum
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3
Commissar Rachel Reeves’ Job is Secure There is Nothing to See Here

Comrades, commissars, Bolsheviks, Big State civil servants, train drivers, Marxist union bosses, NHS managers, and the rest of the scum proletariat.

Today we have to address vicious misinformation and rumours spread by swine capitalists that Commissar Rachel Reeves who is in charge of the economy for the People’s Soviet Republic of Britain is in trouble. Some of these nefarious rumours claim that Comrade Reeves cannot do her sums. We in the Labour Party vehemently dispute these lies spread by right wing capitalist pigs. On Tuesday, Comrade Starmer asked Commissar Reeves what 2 plus 2 is. We are happy to announce that Commissar Reeves passed the test by answering 3. She is therefore fully qualified to lead the PSRB in economic matters.

Some of you have noticed a gallows being constructed in the People’s Red Trafalgar Square. Please ignore this and if anyone says anything about it the Stasi Thought Police will make you disappear. Remember comrades, thoughtcrime will not be tolerated in any circumstance.

By orders directly from Supreme Comrade Starmer, no one is to mention the name of Commissar Reeves. Thank you for your cooperation and if you do not cooperate we will delete you from existence as well.

INGSOC NOTICE 54-34443-434–34-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-2-3-2-3-2-33333A-32323B

KAREN BUSTURD, 47, FROM WIGAN, SECTOR 12, WAS TODAY GRANTED 15 GRAMS OF EXTRA CHOCOLATE RATIONS OVER A SIX-YEAR PERIOD AND AWARDED A BOX OF USED CONDOMS FOR REPORTING HER GRANDMOTHER, UNCLE, 13-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER, HUSBAND AND HER LOCAL BUTCHER TO STASI THOUGHTCRIME OFFICERS FOR OFFENCES AGAINST THE BIG STATE BY SAYING SUPREME COMRADE STARMER’S NAME IN VAIN. THE CRIMINALS WERE TAKEN AWAY AND DISAPPEARED IN THE EARLY HOURS OF TUESDAY MORNING. REMEMBER COMRADES, IF YOU SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR LOCAL STASI OFFICE.

LOS ANGELES NEWS: Roasted Smelt Fish Recipe

Gavin Pondscum
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6
LOS ANGELES NEWS: Roasted Smelt Fish Recipe

Sourced directly from Northern California, where the Delta smelt live, these delicious fish are great for grilling on hot fires. Be sure you turn the heat up real hot before cooking your Smelt.

Ingredients:

1 pound (450 g) fresh smelt fish, cleaned (heads optional)
4 glugs of greasy hair gel
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon sea salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 lemon, thinly sliced
Fresh parsley, chopped (for garnish)
Lemon wedges (for serving)

Instructions:

Preheat the Oven or Grill on a Barbecue
Preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or lightly grease it with olive oil.

Prepare the Smelt Fish
Rinse the smelt fish under cold water and pat them dry with paper towels. Place them in a large mixing bowl.

Season the Fish
Drizzle the olive oil over the fish and toss to coat evenly. Sprinkle the sea salt, black pepper, garlic powder, and smoked paprika over the fish. Gently mix to ensure the seasoning coats each fish.

Arrange on Baking Sheet
Lay the smelt fish in a single layer on the prepared baking sheet. Avoid overcrowding so they roast evenly. Place lemon slices over and around the fish for added flavour.

Roast the Fish
Roast in the preheated oven for 12–15 minutes, or until the fish are golden and slightly crispy around the edges. The fish should flake easily with a fork when done.

Serve
Remove from the oven and transfer to a serving platter. Garnish with freshly chopped parsley and squirt an entire fucking load of the greasiest hair gel you can find over the whole dish, then serve with additional lemon wedges.

Tips:

Smelt fish have a mild flavour and edible bones, so they can be eaten whole, including the skin and bones. Pair with crusty bread, a fresh salad, or roasted vegetables for a complete meal.

Enjoy your roasted smelt fish—a simple, flavourful dish perfect for any occasion!

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