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The Daily Squib Anthology Book Now For Sale

Barb Dwyer
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4
The Daily Squib Anthology Book Now For Sale

As the editor of the Squib I can proudly announce that The Daily Squib Anthology From 2007 to 2022 is finally for sale.

Since founding the Daily Squib on April 1st 2007, many changes have taken place on the internet and indeed the globe. This is why this carefully curated anthology encapsulates those changes in a satirical manner. Fifteen years of different presidents, prime ministers, wars, peace and a myriad of little societal nuances that made up that period of history.

Looking for that curious unique gift for dad’s Christmas stocking, or something to read while taking the dump of the century in your toilet, the Daily Squib Anthology is the perfect celebration of our times, good and bad?

Come, join the circus, look at the clowns and listen to the troubadours as they usher in a new era for humanity, horrific yet beautiful at the same time, a glowing paradoxical dystopian paradise entrenched in reality show hell and fake celebrity appearances. All manner of fantastic beasts projectile vomiting over everything daringly encapsulating this curious rare book compiled with the indomitable spirit of Juvenalis in mind, but furnished within a modern 21st century outlook.

A bold erupting satisfying fart into the darkest and illuminating facets of humanity’s wonders, The Daily Squib Anthology is now available to buy direct from the publisher or from Amazon, or from any good bookshop.

Get your copy now, the first 150 are signed by the author.

The book will only be released in paperback.

daily squib book signed

Joe Biden Unloads Billions For California Fire Mismanagement Disaster

Barb Dwyer
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2
Joe Biden Unloads Billions For California Fire Mismanagement Disaster

Why not fuck the U.S. economy even further into the red, there’s a lot more damage Joe Biden can commit in his last days as absentee president. Given the okay from Washington, Governor Newsom is proposing California provide at least $2.5 billion in additional funding for ongoing emergency response efforts and to jumpstart recovery efforts for Los Angeles. This is the first tranche of funds being unloaded, there will be more to come. Don’t mention the $36 Trillion U.S.debt or anything. Surely Trump can do something to stop the madness when he comes into the White House?

Executive order upon executive orders

The vegetable in the White House was told to okay the funds to FEMA, handing out 0% loans to anyone who wants to build a home in the toxic smouldering wasteland of Los Angeles. California is also adding another $2.6 billion for free healthcare to 700,000 illegal migrants, adding more to the Californian deficit of $68 billion.

No doubt fraud will itself be a large part of the money handouts, just like literally billions of dollars were lost during the pandemic giveaway. Roll up, roll up — free money, free loans, and free smelt sandwiches for everyone.

Joe Biden, a walking zombie, will possibly go down as even a worse president than Jimmy Carter, and that’s saying something.

The brown nosing event for his foreign policy yesterday did not mention the disastrous exit from Afghanistan, where billions of U.S. military hardware was gifted to the Taliban and dozens of U.S. personnel died after a bomb detonation.

Under Biden’s open door policy, over 8 million illegal migrants were let into the country.

The fires in Los Angeles are bad, but the Biden presidency has been the biggest disaster the USA and globe has witnessed in decades.

Comrade Starmer Not Invited to Capitalist Swine Trump Inauguration

Barb Dwyer
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1
Comrade Starmer Not Invited to Capitalist Swine Trump Inauguration

Comrades, commissars, Labour Party hierarchy, Bolsheviks, apparatchiks, Big State civil servants, train drivers, Marxist union bosses, NHS managers, and the rest of the scum proletariat. Screw the poxy Trump inauguration for the USA capitalist scum.

It has come to the attention of Supreme Comrade Starmer of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain that he has NOT been invited to the presidential inauguration of the capitalist swine Donald J. Trump. This is no problem for Comrade Starmer because he never wanted to go to such a disgusting event anyway. Why would the Supreme Comrade in charge of Soviet Britain be seen at such a blatantly capitalist, imperialist show of bourgeois wealthy greed and selfish indulgence? No! Comrade Starmer will NOT attend!

Instead, the selfless dear Comrade Starmer will be visiting a sock factory in East Grinstead where he will display his staunch communist inspection methods and maybe pick out a nice big pair of red socks for his meagre soviet wardrobe.

Here in Soviet Britain we pride ourselves in pursuing our progressive inclusive Marxist woke ideals, but we do not support things like Trumpism, orange skin, private business, jobs, wealth creation, aspiration, democracy or freedom of speech. To us, these are disgusting, selfish and greedy ideals that we steer away from.

If Trump or any of his capitalist swine lackeys reads this statement, good, we hope you read it and hang your heads in abject shame for not having as much virtue as us, and we sincerely hope your swine filled capitalist scum Trump inauguration sucks donkey poop.

Commissar Rachel Reeves’ Job is Secure There is Nothing to See Here

Barb Dwyer
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1
Commissar Rachel Reeves’ Job is Secure There is Nothing to See Here

Comrades, commissars, Bolsheviks, Big State civil servants, train drivers, Marxist union bosses, NHS managers, and the rest of the scum proletariat.

Today we have to address vicious misinformation and rumours spread by swine capitalists that Commissar Rachel Reeves who is in charge of the economy for the People’s Soviet Republic of Britain is in trouble. Some of these nefarious rumours claim that Comrade Reeves cannot do her sums. We in the Labour Party vehemently dispute these lies spread by right wing capitalist pigs. On Tuesday, Comrade Starmer asked Commissar Reeves what 2 plus 2 is. We are happy to announce that Commissar Reeves passed the test by answering 3. She is therefore fully qualified to lead the PSRB in economic matters.

Some of you have noticed a gallows being constructed in the People’s Red Trafalgar Square. Please ignore this and if anyone says anything about it the Stasi Thought Police will make you disappear. Remember comrades, thoughtcrime will not be tolerated in any circumstance.

By orders directly from Supreme Comrade Starmer, no one is to mention the name of Commissar Reeves. Thank you for your cooperation and if you do not cooperate we will delete you from existence as well.

INGSOC NOTICE 54-34443-434–34-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-3-2-3-2-3-2-33333A-32323B

KAREN BUSTURD, 47, FROM WIGAN, SECTOR 12, WAS TODAY GRANTED 15 GRAMS OF EXTRA CHOCOLATE RATIONS OVER A SIX-YEAR PERIOD AND AWARDED A BOX OF USED CONDOMS FOR REPORTING HER GRANDMOTHER, UNCLE, 13-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER, HUSBAND AND HER LOCAL BUTCHER TO STASI THOUGHTCRIME OFFICERS FOR OFFENCES AGAINST THE BIG STATE BY SAYING SUPREME COMRADE STARMER’S NAME IN VAIN. THE CRIMINALS WERE TAKEN AWAY AND DISAPPEARED IN THE EARLY HOURS OF TUESDAY MORNING. REMEMBER COMRADES, IF YOU SEE OR HEAR ANYTHING REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY TO YOUR LOCAL STASI OFFICE.

LOS ANGELES NEWS: Roasted Smelt Fish Recipe

Barb Dwyer
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4
LOS ANGELES NEWS: Roasted Smelt Fish Recipe

Sourced directly from Northern California, where the Delta smelt live, these delicious fish are great for grilling on hot fires. Be sure you turn the heat up real hot before cooking your Smelt.

Ingredients:

1 pound (450 g) fresh smelt fish, cleaned (heads optional)
4 glugs of greasy hair gel
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 teaspoon sea salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1 lemon, thinly sliced
Fresh parsley, chopped (for garnish)
Lemon wedges (for serving)

Instructions:

Preheat the Oven or Grill on a Barbecue
Preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or lightly grease it with olive oil.

Prepare the Smelt Fish
Rinse the smelt fish under cold water and pat them dry with paper towels. Place them in a large mixing bowl.

Season the Fish
Drizzle the olive oil over the fish and toss to coat evenly. Sprinkle the sea salt, black pepper, garlic powder, and smoked paprika over the fish. Gently mix to ensure the seasoning coats each fish.

Arrange on Baking Sheet
Lay the smelt fish in a single layer on the prepared baking sheet. Avoid overcrowding so they roast evenly. Place lemon slices over and around the fish for added flavour.

Roast the Fish
Roast in the preheated oven for 12–15 minutes, or until the fish are golden and slightly crispy around the edges. The fish should flake easily with a fork when done.

Serve
Remove from the oven and transfer to a serving platter. Garnish with freshly chopped parsley and squirt an entire fucking load of the greasiest hair gel you can find over the whole dish, then serve with additional lemon wedges.

Tips:

Smelt fish have a mild flavour and edible bones, so they can be eaten whole, including the skin and bones. Pair with crusty bread, a fresh salad, or roasted vegetables for a complete meal.

Enjoy your roasted smelt fish—a simple, flavourful dish perfect for any occasion!

“We Got Her!” Arrest Mayor Bass

Barb Dwyer
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4
“We Got Her!” Arrest Mayor Bass

Forget about trying to force Los Angeles Mayor Bass to resign for gross negligence and dereliction of duty, many Angelinos are saying she should be arrested.

The thousands of people affected by the stupid mismanaged Los Angeles mayoral department are so angry they want Mayor Karen Bass, who receives a $650,000 salary to be arrested and put in jail.

“I want her arrested ASAP. The LAPD needs to put out an arrest warrant for Mayor Bass stat! Shit, I’m going to petition City Hall for this to happen. They need to put this woman away, she’s dangerous!” an angry Palisades resident told LA Quarterly newspaper.

Should the Los Angeles mayor be culpable for her negligent actions? Many are so angry about the city’s mismanagement that they are calling for her arrest immediately.

“She’s smiling on the TV because she has a good salary and pension plan plus benefit. We lost everything and State Farm took away our fire insurance. We got nothing left. Arrest that Mayor Bass bitch right now. I want to see her goddamn mugshot,” another angry Pacific Palisades resident screamed from their makeshift tent.

Since the fire broke out, more than 200,000 residents of Los Angeles County have been ordered to evacuate their homes, with the Palisades Fire alone accounting for a substantial portion of those evacuations. More than 166,000 others are under evacuation warnings.

The wind-fed wildfires have killed at least 24 people and swept through 40,000 acres in the Greater Los Angeles area, destroying entire communities and more than 26,800 structures.

The office of Mayor Bass were not answering calls from reporters on Monday.

L.A. Fire Victims: Sick Ambulance Chasers Harry and Meghan Get Off On Disaster Porn

Barb Dwyer
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2
L.A. Fire Victims: Sick Ambulance Chasers Harry and Meghan Get Off On Disaster Porn

Harry and Meghan have been branded as opportunistic, disaster porn seeking, catastrophe ghoul, ambulance chasers by Los Angeles fire victims. Haven’t the people of Los Angeles suffered enough already than to have these two photo op vultures sniffing around the ashes?

Grief Grifters

“There’s nothing more grotesque and sickening to see these two narcissistic opportunists getting off on disaster porn as they literally chase ambulances all over Los Angeles, virtue signalling over the charred bodies of the fire victims and the newly made homeless.

“Do you think these creepy fucking monsters give one iota or a single squirt of piss for the people suffering now or the one’s who lost their lives? Not one shit is given. If it makes a good photo op for them, it’s okay, though.”

No doubt, Meghan sequestered a Netflix crew to film their “event”.  There was good news for one Los Angeles fire victim, Meghan told her how to put edible flowers into ice cubes. Next time there’s a fire that could come in handy, however first they have to find some fucking water.

Ambulance chasers Harry and Meghan are the last fucking thing anyone wants to see after losing everything in a fucking fire.

The good news is that they were only there for 17 minutes before going back to their Montecito mansion after selling the exclusive pics and footage to TMZ and other agencies.

 

People Fined For Misgendering Pronouns of Los Angeles Fires

Barb Dwyer
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1
People Fined For Misgendering Pronouns of Los Angeles Fires

People will be fined for misgendering the gender-fluid names of the various fires that are still raging around many Los Angeles districts, a spokesperson for the Inclusivity and Gender Equity office revealed today.

“We have had reports that fire Kenneth was misgendered and fire Janice along with fire Dorothy were misgendered by people, including numerous news reporters. These individuals were tracked down, and fined $1,000 each. They will also be required to attend a mandatory Misgender Re-education class for a six-month period. If they do not attend, or refuse to pay the fines, they will be arrested and jailed. Have a nice day.”

Serious Misdemeanour Crime

Residents have to remember that the pronouns for the Los Angeles fires can change at any moment, especially as the winds change direction. There are also plans to designate pronouns for the various winds that fan the pronouns of the fires.

Misgendering in California is a very serious crime, and the fires burning large swathes of Los Angeles down have compounded this issue.

Tiffany Pumpmyazzhard for the L.A. Misgender Office revealed that funding is being diverted from the LAFD to tackle this very important issue.

“Don’t you dare misgender those pronouns, darlings. Zee will fine they/them/it whether you’re them, they zee, zis, thy, zy, hiss or a lowly cis white male.”

FACT CHECK: There are currently 56,423 gender pronouns active at any time that people have to memorise. The list is updated by the second from the Los Angeles Misgender Observatory, which recently received a $300 million yearly budget from the L.A. Mayor Karen Bass and Governor Newsom.

 

 

 

Mayor Karen Bass: “Go Woke Go Up In Smoke”

Barb Dwyer
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1
Mayor Karen Bass: “Go Woke Go Up In Smoke”

With all the DEI (Diversity Equity Inclusion) hires as being totally inept and incompetent, unable to complete even the most menial simple tasks due to having very low IQs, and unusually high levels of unwarranted arrogance looks like the title ‘Go Woke Go Up In Smoke’ is pretty apt.

Who the fuck hired these dumb motherfuckers? Who the fuck voted for these idiotic miscreants? Well you ain’t laughing now eh, how’s your fucking DEI Smelt fish, empty LGBTQP fire hydrants, BLM DEI hire shit going now as half the fucking city of Los Angeles lays in smoke-filled ruins?

“You dumb motherfuckers could fuck up a cup of fucking coffee. This Karen Bass moron is slow! She is most probably retarded or something, she don’t know what fucking day it is. You can set the bitch on fire, and she would not realise she was fuckin’ burning. Smile at me through the camera bitch and tell me everything is okay whilst I lost my home, my pets, my insurance and everything I owned. You fucking smile at me, I will shit on your motherfuckin’ head moron. What kind of sociopathic moron smiles at people while they just had their lives destroyed because this mentally inadequate Mayor Karen Bass took away $17 million from the LAFD and was planning to take away $49 million from the LAFD budget before the fires struck. This dumb ape was warned by experts that the winds were serious, s’cuse me apes are more intelligent than this bitch, but the dumb cunt went to Ghana to some Obongo President. Why don’t you fucking go to Ghana and stay the fuck there because you’re useless. I seen more use in a fuckin’ toilet brush than you. In fact, your hair looks like my toilet brush before it was burned down with the rest of my home and shit. Fuck you! Fuck you from the bottom of my burned out motherfuckin’ black heart, you goddamn piece of motherfucking shit,” an angry Los Angeles resident ranted on Monday.

It may be a good idea to bring back merit for employment in high ranking important jobs. The Democrats need to consider this, especially when people’s lives re on the line. Go woke go up in smoke, the L.A. fires are testament to this very dictum. If Californians don’t force the likes of Karen Bass to resign in disgrace, they have their own doom and destruction on their own heads. No one should ever take Californian democrats or their voters seriously ever again, in fact, maybe they deserve to burn.

CANCER: Spraying Los Angeles With Fire Retardant is Carcinogenic

Barb Dwyer
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3
CANCER: Spraying Los Angeles With Fire Retardant is Carcinogenic

Large swathes of Los Angeles and the surrounding areas are being sprayed with carcinogenic cancer causing chemical fire retardant. Polybrominated diphenyl ethers, or PBDEs increase the risk of cancer by 300% and this stuff is being sprayed over thousands of acres of land in Los Angeles. These chemicals stay in the ecosystem and leech into the water table.

Cancer Risk

If people go back to live in the areas that have been sprayed along with the brave firemen and women who are on the front line of the fire fight will possibly be at risk of contracting cancer in the future.

Endocrine disruptors are chemicals that can interfere and interact with the endocrine system, resulting in altered hormonal signalling and function. PBDEs are common endocrine disruptors that have been commonly used in industrial products and fire retardants, and their environmental accumulation has become a rising concern. Human exposure to PBDEs has been shown to influence glucose metabolism, thyroid and ovarian function and potentially affect cancer risk.

Wildfires themselves unlock cancer causing chemicals that affect humans.

The blistering heat from wildfires can transform one metal, chromium, from its benign version into toxic airborne particles that put firefighters and people living nearby at risk, according to the study published in the journal Nature Communications in December 2023.

“In the complex mixture of gasses and particles that wildfires spew out as smoke and leave behind as dust, heavy metals such as chromium have largely been overlooked,” Scott Fendorf, co-author of the study and professor at the Stanford Doerr School of Sustainability, said in a press release.

Chromium is common in soils across the western United States, Australia, Brazil, Europe, Indonesia and South Africa.

Certain natural chemical processes can trigger a transformation of the metal from a benign form, called chromium 3, into a carcinogen called hexavalent chromium, or chromium 6. The toxin — which became infamous through the 2000 film “Erin Brockovich” — can cause cancer, organ damage and other health issues.

Gavin Newsom Cut $150 Million Wildfire Budget and Now Mudslides Fear

Barb Dwyer
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0
Gavin Newsom Cut $150 Million Wildfire Budget and Now Mudslides Fear

NPR has reported that irresponsible and incapable California Governor Gavin Newsom cut $150 million from the wildfire fighting budget and was even set to cut more in the future.

“Data obtained by CapRadio and NPR’s California Newsroom show Cal Fire’s fuel reduction output dropped by half in 2020, to levels below Gov. Jerry Brown’s final year in office,” the investigation noted. “At the same time, Newsom slashed roughly $150 million from Cal Fire’s wildfire prevention budget.”

The LAFD budget was cut by $17 million by the Mayor Karen Bass and a further $45 million cuts were expected just before the fires struck. She was on holiday in Ghana during the fires that destroyed Pacific Palisades and only came back to Los Angeles after officials pleaded with her to do her job, otherwise she would have stayed in Ghana.

The financing summaries for the 2023-2024 fiscal year and the 2024-2025 fiscal year, though, shows the year-over-year difference is closer to $30 million in cuts to the LAFD budget.

The governor Gavin Newsom has misrepresented his accomplishments and even disinvested in wildfire prevention. The investigation found Newsom overstated, by an astounding 690%, the number of acres treated with fuel breaks and prescribed burns in the very forestry projects he said needed to be prioritized to protect the state’s most vulnerable communities. Newsom has claimed that 35 “priority projects” carried out as a result of his executive order resulted in fire prevention work on 90,000 acres. But the state’s own data show the actual number is 11,399.

With all the foliage destroyed in the mountains, the surrounding areas will now be in serious danger to mudslides when rains come. The vast mudslides will endanger many homes and roads close to the mountains. Due to precipitation expected in February, massive mudslides could further compound the already fragile situation. Mudslides occur when foliage has been destroyed as soil is not held together, especially in mountainous regions. Gavin Newsom and his irresponsible negligence and intransigence is the cause of thousands of homes and lives being lost and endangering the lives of Angelinos.

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