17.7 C
London
Thursday, March 19, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog

The Daily Squib Sold Out!

0

No! We did not sell out — we got sold out! The Daily Squib Anthology is sold out in the shops and now out of print. Thanks go to the publisher who had faith in the Daily Squib, a terminal project that is constantly under attack, and to our faithful readers.

We still have a few copies left, signed by the author, and we’re doing a Christmas giveaway via the banner on the front page.

Wishing you all a great festive season. We can barely walk in the Squib office and the parties have only just begun…hic!

squib book out of print

How to Protect Yourself from Authoritarian Online Censorship — And Why a VPN is Your First Line of Defence

14

In an age where digital platforms have become the new public square, the threat of government-imposed censorship is no longer a hypothetical, it’s a daily reality in many parts of the world. Whether you’re a journalist, activist, whistleblower, or simply a private citizen with an opinion, authoritarian regimes increasingly monitor, filter, and suppress speech that challenges official narratives. You need a VPN right now.

Using VPNs doesn’t necessarily mean that people are bypassing the law. It’s important to note that VPNs can help protect children’s security online, too. They aren’t just used to avoid content blocks.

UK police commissioner threatens to extradite jail US citizens over online posts We'll come after you

The Labour government has introduced a dystopian method of online surveillance called the “Online Safety Act” which is masked as “protecting young people” on the internet but is actually an excuse to censor, manipulate and monitor the entire population. It is up to parents to protect their children from the dangers of the internet — NOT the government.

Sign up now to save 40% on Proton VPN NOW!

Censorship doesn’t start with tanks or arrests. It begins quietly with invisible firewalls, blocked sites, throttled connections, and silent surveillance. The good news? You’re not powerless. With the right tools and mindset, you can reclaim your digital autonomy.

Here’s how to protect your voice and your access to the open internet, starting with a VPN.

VPN_HSD_950X200


🔒 What is Online Censorship, Really?

Authoritarian online censorship takes many forms:

  • Website blocking (news outlets, social platforms, search engines)
  • Keyword filtering (certain topics can’t be discussed)
  • Connection throttling (deliberate slowing of services like YouTube or WhatsApp)
  • Surveillance and intimidation (especially targeting dissidents or journalists)
  • Platform manipulation (state-sponsored trolling, misinformation, shadowbanning)

The goal is simple: control what you can see, say, and share.


🕵️‍♂️ Why a VPN is Essential

A Virtual Private Network (VPN) encrypts your internet traffic and routes it through a private server in another location, effectively masking your IP address and identity from your government, ISP, or local network administrator.

What this means for you:

  • Access blocked websites: A VPN lets you bypass national firewalls to reach censored platforms and news sources.
  • Avoid surveillance: VPN encryption prevents governments (and hackers) from tracking what you read, watch, or write.
  • Protect anonymity: By masking your location and IP address, a VPN gives you plausible deniability in high-risk environments.

Think of a VPN as a digital invisibility cloak—without it, you’re exposed.


✅ What to Look for in a VPN (Authoritarian-Resistant Features)

Not all VPNs are created equal — especially if you’re facing serious state censorship.

Choose one that offers:

  1. No-logs policy: The provider doesn’t keep records of your activity.
  2. Obfuscated servers: Disguises VPN traffic as normal HTTPS, helping you slip past censorship firewalls (like China’s Great Firewall).
  3. RAM-only servers: These wipe clean after every reboot—leaving no forensic trail.
  4. Kill switch: Automatically severs your internet connection if the VPN drops, preventing leaks.
  5. Multi-hop routing: Routes your traffic through two or more countries for extra protection.

Top VPNs for censorship-heavy environments like ProtonVPN give you all of these attributes to protect your online viewing and bypass the so-called “online safety act”.

Sign up now to save 40% on Proton VPN NOW!

VPN_HSL_950X200


🌐 Additional Tools to Stay Safe

A VPN is powerful, but it’s not a silver bullet. Combine it with these tools for full-spectrum digital security:

  • Tor Browser: Routes your traffic through multiple nodes for anonymous browsing. Ideal for whistleblowing or access to dark web journalism.
  • Signal: End-to-end encrypted messaging, trusted by activists worldwide.
  • Brave or Firefox + Privacy Add-ons: Harden your browser with uBlock Origin, HTTPS Everywhere, and Privacy Badger.
  • Secure email: Use ProtonMail not Gmail or state-linked services.
  • Use pseudonyms: Create separate identities for dissenting or sensitive communications.

⚠️ Important Cautions

  • VPN use may be illegal or monitored in some countries. Always check your local laws and risks.
  • Don’t log into personal accounts (e.g., your real-name Facebook) while using VPNs for anonymous activity.
  • Operational security matters: Avoid patterns, reuse of usernames, or cross-platform leaks.

📢 Why It Matters

Free speech doesn’t survive by accident, it survives because people protect it, exercise it, and fight for it, especially when it’s threatened. Authoritarian censorship thrives in silence. Your ability to speak, connect, and resist online is part of a larger struggle for truth, dignity, and self-determination.

Tools like VPNs aren’t just technical upgrades — they are modern shields for your most fundamental rights.


Your voice is your power. Protect it. Use it. Defend it.

VPN_SVL_300X250

Sign up now to save 40% on Proton VPN NOW!

 

The Daily Squib Anthology Book Now For Sale

As the editor of the Squib, I can proudly announce that The Daily Squib Anthology From 2007 to 2022 is finally for sale.

Since founding the Daily Squib on April 1st 2007, many changes have taken place on the internet and indeed the globe. This is why this carefully curated anthology encapsulates those changes in a satirical manner. Fifteen years of different presidents, prime ministers, wars, peace and a myriad of little societal nuances that made up that period of history.

Looking for that curious unique gift for dad’s Christmas stocking, or something to read while taking the dump of the century in your toilet, the Daily Squib Anthology is the perfect celebration of our times, good and bad?

Come, join the circus, look at the clowns and listen to the troubadours as they usher in a new era for humanity, horrific yet beautiful at the same time, a glowing paradoxical dystopian paradise entrenched in reality show hell and fake celebrity appearances. All manner of fantastic beasts projectile vomiting over everything daringly encapsulating this curious rare book compiled with the indomitable spirit of Juvenalis in mind, but furnished within a modern 21st century outlook.

A bold erupting satisfying fart into the darkest and illuminating facets of humanity’s wonders, The Daily Squib Anthology is now available to buy direct from the publisher or from Amazon, or from any good bookshop.

Get your copy now, the first 150 are signed by the author.

The book will only be released in paperback.

UPDATE 2025: THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY IS NOW DOWN TO ONLY A FEW REMAINING COPIES IN PRINT. YOU CAN PURCHASE ONE OF THE LAST SIGNED COPIES HERE.

daily squib book signed

Starmer’s Rickshaw Crashes On Way to PMQs

0

Keir Starmer had a close call yesterday whilst making his way to PMQs in an overcrowded rickshaw.

According to reports from the Evening Standard, the rickshaw driver was swerving all over the road near Trafalgar Square en route to the Houses of Parliament when there was a brief altercation with a herd of cows, some goats, and a one-legged blind beggar on crutches.

The rickshaw hit the blind man at the zebra crossing but continued on without stopping.

Witnesses say that the PM was holding on for dear life as the rickshaw with 8 occupants swerved erratically to avoid various large potholes, farm animals, and pedestrians crossing the road.

Arguwal Banarjee, from Wood Green, was not happy with the situation.

“You would think the Prime Minister of Great Britain would know better. Blimey! He should not be travelling in one of those rickshaws in the first place. Those drivers are paagal! The streets are looking like a third-world country or something like that! It’s a bloody, blimey disgrace, sahib!”

50+ Investable Opportunities Found in a New Analysis Providing Economic Gains

0

New research from the World Economic Forum has identified more than 50 investible opportunities across 13 sectors that are already generating revenue or delivering cost savings for businesses and investors. Despite the fact that over half of global GDP is highly or moderately dependent on nature, capital continues to flow disproportionately into activities that harm the natural environment, creating systemic risks while leaving valuable commercial opportunities underexploited.

The findings highlight a growing range of investment prospects, including precision agriculture, sustainable cement, battery recycling, and industrial water management, all of which have the potential to protect natural ecosystems while delivering financial returns. Further details are available in the full report.

Published in Geneva on 17 March 2026, the report suggests that these opportunities could contribute up to $10.1 trillion annually in business revenues and cost savings by 2030.

Titled 50 Investible Opportunities for a New Nature Economy and developed in collaboration with Oliver Wyman, the report also underscores the growing economic risks associated with the misalignment between nature-related risks and current capital allocation, as well as the scale of missed commercial potential.

This analysis comes at a time when global investment patterns remain significantly out of balance. According to the United Nations Environment Programme, around $7.3 trillion is still invested each year in activities that damage ecosystems, compared with approximately $220 billion directed towards nature-based solutions.

The opportunities identified in the report offer practical ways to generate returns while helping to close this gap.

In a similar vein to the challenges faced in meeting the targets of the Paris Agreement, global progress on biodiversity goals is lagging.

Achieving the target of halting and reversing nature loss by 2030 will require renewed commitment and innovative approaches.

kanenori-green-sea-turtle-8199770_1280

Sebastian Buckup, Managing Director at the World Economic Forum, emphasised the need for a shift towards an economic model that delivers prosperity within planetary limits, noting that industries and financial institutions are increasingly recognising that nature-positive strategies are not only socially responsible but also commercially advantageous.

As businesses face rising exposure to issues such as water scarcity, soil degradation, pollution and stricter environmental regulations, nature-related risks are becoming tangible financial concerns with direct implications for long-term profitability.

Drawing on an assessment of around 250 business activities, the report identifies more than 50 investment-ready opportunities across high-impact sectors that could support efforts to halt and reverse environmental damage by 2030.

These solutions aim to reduce pressure on land, water, and natural resources while driving revenue growth, lowering costs, and mitigating risk.

janvanbizar-solar-panels-7213967_1280

Sustainable Cement and Concrete Blends

One example explored in the report is sustainable cement and concrete blends.

These alternatives reduce reliance on newly quarried materials by incorporating recycled industrial by-products or recovered construction materials, while maintaining comparable structural performance to conventional concrete. They also support compliance with environmental regulations and respond to increasing demand for lower-impact construction materials.

In addition to their commercial viability, these materials offer environmental benefits by reducing quarrying activity, lowering pollution and decreasing the energy required for production.

Although many sustainable blends currently carry a higher price than traditional concrete, largely due to established supply chains and economies of scale favouring conventional products, the report suggests that as production scales and risks are reduced, these alternatives present a compelling investment opportunity.

Derek Baraldi, Head of Sustainable Finance at the World Economic Forum, described the issue as fundamentally one of capital allocation, noting that organisations integrating nature into their strategies are not only managing risk but also positioning themselves for long-term competitive advantage.

The Function of Financial Institutions and Capital

dinydekort-owl-9294302_1280Financial institutions are identified as key enablers in scaling these solutions. By providing capital for new production processes and facilities, and by deploying instruments such as sustainability-linked loans, guarantees and blended finance, they can help bring innovative solutions to market more quickly while reducing associated risks.

To support this transition, the report outlines several priority actions for financial institutions, including improving internal understanding of nature-related issues, developing new financial products, fostering collaboration, enhancing data usage and leveraging strategic discussions around nature transitions to identify viable investment opportunities.

These steps are intended to build a strong pipeline of nature-positive investments capable of delivering both financial and environmental returns.

The report also highlights the fundamental dependence of business on natural systems, including reliable water supplies, fertile soils, biomass and ecosystem services such as pollination and flood protection.

Existing examples, such as industrial water management systems addressing water scarcity and precision agriculture techniques reducing fertiliser runoff, demonstrate how businesses can create value while supporting environmental objectives.

Ultimately, the realignment of capital towards nature-positive investments is presented as essential for protecting biodiversity and ensuring the resilience of the natural systems that underpin the global economy.

The World Economic Forum’s Nature-Positive Transitions report series continues to explore pathways for reversing environmental degradation by 2030. Focusing on key industries, it examines how sectors both impact and depend on nature, while outlining practical steps businesses can take to reduce harm, manage risks, strengthen resilience and unlock new opportunities across value chains. Sectors covered include technology, automotive, cement and concrete, chemicals, household and personal care products, mining and metals, as well as ports and offshore wind.

Strait of Hormuz: Shame on Many Coward NATO Members

0

The entire global economy is threatened. As this piece is written, Brent crude flits around the 106-dollar mark, and the upward momentum looks strong. Meanwhile, multiple NATO countries are not acting; their navies are docked at their home ports, and politicians are staying silent, shuffling their feet when real action is needed. The operation on Iran cannot just be left to the USA and Israel to foot, but their valiant effort needs help as they shoulder the burden. Shame! NATO countries only think of themselves and do not have any thought for the entire organisation and the global condition we are in right now.

President Trump has had to deal with countries like the UK denying the use of airbases and many other NATO leaders umming and ahhing when asked for military assistance in this major conflict. America should remember their cowardice and reticence and punish them severely. This shameful behaviour is a fucking disgrace. Cowards like Keir Starmer should be ousted from their positions immediately and disgraced. History will remember their lack of courage in a time of war.

Iran is resilient; they can be bombed daily and lose everything yet still revel in their survival, the ultimate epitome of the cockroach. The psychotic religious zealots and their Twelverism keep them going, along with their rat kebabs.

Any nation that depends on oil tankers that go through the Strait of Hormuz needs to get off their fucking asses and bring out their ships, sailors, and submarines. Aircraft carriers, battleships, all of that shit.

Is NATO fit for purpose? Well, we are soon going to find out.

 

 

Shia Islamic Iran Willing to Take Down Globe For the Twelfth Imam

0

This is not just a war with Israel and the USA against Iran. Iranians are not Arabs; they are Persians. In this respect, the majority Sunni Muslim Arabs and Turks are the enemy as much as the Israelis and Americans. For the psychotic cult of the Shia clerics, these are the End of Days, and the cultists are awaiting the Twelfth Imam to appear from the midst of the violent explosions, missiles, and drones. The Shia Islamic zealots are looking to take down the entire globe with them, and they will do it gladly aligned with their skewed belief system and superstitious predictions.

The Final Struggle

Air power never wins a war, and the U.S. needs to learn this hard lesson if it wants to stop these suicidal Shia nutcases going ahead with their apocalypse. Only a major operation with boots on the ground will solve this Persian problem.

Global economic destruction, escalating regional conflict, escalating global conflict, the destruction of the previous world order and invisible red lines.

Many Western analysts completely misunderstand Iran because they assume Iranian leaders think about time, power, and conflict in the same strategic framework as secular states. They do not. In the ideological core of the Islamic Republic, there is a religious worldview rooted in Twelver Shi’a theology that changes how history, legitimacy, and patience are perceived.

The new Khamenei and many of the Iranian hierarchy have apocalyptic beliefs rooted in Shi’ite Islamic scripture.

The Hidden—or Twelfth—Imam plays a dominant role in one specific form of Shi’ite Islamic theology, called “Twelverism,” which happens to be the primary belief system of Iran’s leadership.

Muhammad al‑Mahdi, the final of the Twelve Imams. He was born around 868 CE in Samarra (modern Iraq). In 874 CE he entered “occultation,” a divinely ordained disappearance from public life. He is believed to still be alive but hidden until the end of time. At a divinely chosen moment he will reappear as the Mahdi (“the Guided One”). This belief is the central eschatological doctrine of Twelver Shi’ism

This is the messianic belief that at the end of days, the Hidden Imam will appear in the midst of a violent apocalyptic scenario played out on a battleground stained with infidels’ blood.

In Twelver theology, the Mahdi’s return marks the final stage of history. The world will be filled with injustice, corruption, and chaos. The Mahdi will emerge and establish global justice and true Islamic rule. In some traditions he returns alongside Jesus, who helps defeat evil.

The dominant doctrine of the Iranian system is Velayat-e Faqih (“Guardianship of the Jurist”), which states that clerics govern temporarily during the Imam’s absence.

The state is therefore seen as provisional until the Mahdi returns.

In other words, the Iranian mullahs welcome their own destruction as long as they take all others with them (specifically Israel).

Iranian Regime Now Releasing AI-Generated Disinformation of Captured US Soldiers

0

This is getting desperate. The Iranian regime is now spamming social media sites with AI-generated disinformation videos that some people are taking for fact. Disinformation is utilised in wartime as a weapon in itself and in this case is being used to demoralise those who believe what they are seeing is true.

The origination of this disinformation is not known, but it does not necessarily have to come from Iran and could come from Russia or China, or any other country aligned against the USA.

The following video, which depicts U.S. soldiers as prisoners, is a prime example of such disinformation, and the U.S. government should be onto these videos, shutting them down. Unfortunately, social media sites do not bother, but it is surprising that the U.S. intelligence apparatus is allowing these videos to proliferate across the net.

The Have-Nots Don’t Have Anything to Lose – But You Do!

0

The have-nots, the people who never bothered to be educated or work, are now a large portion of the population. They don’t have pension plans, properties, cars, mortgages, holidays, or children; they just have nothing. They are the epitome of Nietzschian nihilism and a celebration of the Untermensch subhuman subculture, a symptom of the consumer culture on steroids that is part of the modern developed world.

When they have nothing to lose, they gravitate towards the riots, the looting, and the expression of violence as a predilection of their terminal condition.

There will be more of these instances and at an increasing rate as the have-nots do not have anything to lose now. Emboldened, disillusioned, and at the end of their tether, their wrath will eventually erupt in one almighty BANG.

What do they want? They want what you have; they want to take it from you, to destroy it, to break it, and to deny you, the person who worked hard for it, the right to have those things. Their mindset is, if they can’t have it, they will take it by force or deny you owning it.

TRUMP: Kill One Ayatollah – Get Another One Free

0

It’s certainly not the latest deal at Walmart or Target, but Trump sure likes a deal, and he got one when the Khamenei Ayatollah fella was blown into tiny pieces in his bunker to whoops of delight, only for the next morning, the Iranians presenting another mullah—Khamenei’s friggin’ son.

Declaring victory too early sucks when you get some serious horizontal escalation, just like what happened in Nam.

The Strait of Hormuz now has mines bobbing all over the place, and the oil price may have reduced slightly yesterday, but let us analyse the fundamentals here. Oil traders have the foresight to know this shit ain’t over till The Don sings. The Iranians are hard-headed religious psychopaths and do not know the meaning of giving up, but when the heat hits the Donald, yep, he usually folds sharpish.

The Gulf of Tonkin and the Strait of Hormuz will now be etched in history.

Remember, if Trump really wants to win this thing, he needs to go balls deep, all in, no flip-flopping like a dilettante. Bury those motherfuckers; take them back to the Stone Age and obliterate every utility, communications, barracks, ship, factory, government building, etc. He’s going to need boots on the ground in some capacity. Maybe now is a good time to test out some experimental ordnance, AI weapons, robotics, audio weapons, or whatever they play with at Groom Lake and Los Alamos or some underground facility in Nevada.

This is a fucking hornet’s nest — burn it!!!

The Growing Popularity of the Tong It Card Game on Online Platforms like GZone

0

Digital entertainment has reshaped how people experience traditional games, transforming many of them into modern online formats. The Tong It card game, a beloved Filipino favorite, serves as an excellent example of this evolution. With the advent of digital casino platforms like GameZone—also referred to as GZone—players can now enjoy Tongits online, reaching a wider audience and expanding its appeal beyond family gatherings and community events.

The success of Tongits in online environments stems from its accessibility, multiplayer functionality, and strong cultural roots. This transformation demonstrates how a traditional pastime can thrive and adapt within the modern online casino industry.

Cultural Significance of the Tong It Card Game

To understand the widespread popularity of Tongits online, it helps to explore its cultural origins. Tongits holds deep roots in Filipino social culture, often played during gatherings with friends and family.

Using a standard 52-card deck, the game involves two to three players competing to make valid card combinations while minimizing the total points left in their hands. Winning requires blending strategic decision-making and careful observation of opponents’ moves.

Core strategies include:

  • Creating effective card combinations
  • Closely observing opponents’ discards and actions
  • Managing the remaining card values in one’s hand
  • Identifying the optimal timing to call “Tongits”

The game’s simplicity attracts beginners, while its competitive and strategic elements keep seasoned players engaged. Over time, Tongits has evolved from mere entertainment to become a cherished cultural tradition passed across generations in Filipino households.

From Physical Gatherings to Digital Platforms

Traditionally, Tongits required players to gather physically, often around a table, to enjoy the lively social atmosphere it provided. However, such requirements limited when and where games could take place, making it less accessible for many.

Digital platforms revolutionized the playing experience, enabling players to enjoy Tongits online anytime and anywhere. Platforms like GameZone allow users to access the game using mobile devices, tablets, computers, or laptops. By simply logging in and clicking a few buttons, players can quickly join matches with others in real-time.

This transition into the digital space has made the game far more convenient, eliminating the need for physical gatherings. Instead of waiting for friends to assemble, players can instantly start matches with opponents from anywhere, transforming Tongits from a table game to a fully accessible digital experience.

Real Multiplayer Gameplay Enhancing Tongits Online

The popularity of Tongits online stems significantly from its authentic multiplayer features. Many digital platforms, including GameZone online games, connect players to real opponents rather than relying solely on AI-driven gameplay.

Multiplayer matches introduce unpredictability by pitting players against others who use varied strategies and approaches, keeping the games fresh and exciting.

The Tongits card game thrives on interaction and requires players to adapt their gameplay by observing their opponents, tracking discarded cards, and making rapid decisions within each round. Competing against real opponents enhances the overall experience, offering deeper strategic engagement for both casual participants and competitive professionals.

This dynamic gameplay ensures players remain entertained while sharpening their skills, motivating them to return for more matches.

Accessibility Across Mobile and Digital Devices

Accessibility has further fueled the growth of Tongits in the online landscape. Digital platforms make the game easy to access using commonly available devices like smartphones, laptops, tablets, and personal computers.

GameZone ensures a streamlined playing experience by removing the need for physical cards or reserved playing areas. Players can join games within seconds after logging in, offering quick entertainment for users of all ages.

Mobile accessibility also appeals to younger audiences familiar with digital and mobile playing environments. Beginners can conveniently learn the rules and play frequently to improve their skills. Continuous practice through online matches reinforces the game’s appeal to a diverse demographic.

Preserving Filipino Heritage Through Online Platforms

PLAY YOUR WAY

The digitization of Tongits has successfully retained its cultural significance while introducing the tradition to new audiences. Online platforms have made the game accessible to global players, preserving the Filipino game experience for future generations.

GameZone Casino and GZone actively support this tradition by providing platforms where Tongits thrives in its digital form. Modern players gain exposure to Filipino heritage through gameplay, ensuring the game remains relevant as entertainment evolves.

The nostalgic value of Tongits remains intact in its online version, as older players recognize elements of the traditional experience while enjoying modern technological enhancements. These competitive online matches continue to bring friends and family together, blending tradition with innovation.

Building Communities of Tongits Players Online

Digital platforms have also nurtured growing communities of Tongits enthusiasts. These online groups connect individuals across locations, fostering collaboration and shared interest in the game.

Players often exchange strategies, share gameplay tips, and welcome newcomers by teaching the rules. Common game discussions include:

  • Organizing card combinations efficiently
  • Understanding when to discard, draw, or keep cards
  • Predicting opponents’ moves for strategic advantage

These collaborative environments strengthen player connections, keeping Tongits interactive, exciting, and competitive for all participants. Community support provides beginners guidance while keeping experienced players engaged in constant improvement.

Future Prospects for Tongits in Online Casinos

The expanding market for digital casino presents a promising future for Tongits online. Combining cultural roots with competitive strategy, the game aligns perfectly with the ongoing evolution of online casino platforms.

GameZone Casino, GZone, and similar platforms showcase how traditional card games can succeed in digital environments. These systems ensure that Tongits remains accessible and relevant to modern players worldwide while maintaining its cultural identity.

What began as an entertainment-focused table game between friends has transformed into a globally played digital experience. Platforms offering Tongits demonstrate how Filipino traditions can thrive in the modern age, drawing in diverse audiences from all corners of the globe.

FAQ

What is the Tong It card game?
The Tong It card game is a Filipino tradition that uses a standard 52-card deck. Players aim to form valid card combinations while reducing the total value of the remaining cards in their hands.

Why is Tongits popular on online platforms?
Digital platforms like GameZone enhance Tongits’ popularity by offering instant access, multiplayer competition, and the convenience of mobile play.

Can beginners play Tongits online?
Yes. GameZone online games provide intuitive interfaces and real multiplayer matches, allowing beginners to learn the rules and practice effectively.

Britain’s Mugabe Steps Closer to Taking Away Jury Trials

0

Robert Mugabe, the former Zimbabwean dictator, was not much one for democracy, elections, or justice, and it seems Labour’s David Lammy is Britain’s version of Mugabe as he seeks to take away the rights of the British people to a trial by jury. Instead of justice, Britons will be tried by unelected far-left Labour-appointed judges in Stasi courts. Jury trials are now one step closer to being scrapped after Labour MPs voted to scrap the 800-year-old legal system, with 304 Labour MPs voting for the bill and 203 against it.

MAGNA CARTA – 15 June 1215 – On Justice and Fair Trial (Clause 39/40): “No free man shall be seized or imprisoned, or stripped of his rights or possessions… except by the lawful judgement of his equals or by the law of the land.

Forget about the Magna Carta and the rights of Britons for over 800 years; David Lammy, a somewhat lazy MP, has not bothered to look at alternatives to doing away with jury trials. Instead, the incompetent miscreant and Mugabe wannabe is scrapping jury trials without even a whimper from anyone. To have our rights trodden on by this pompous, destructive, loathsome joke of an MP is a further insult to thousands of years of British history and hard-fought rights.

What did the brave soldiers of both world wars fight for when, in 2026, Labour is literally desecrating every remnant of rights and freedoms we have? Scrapping elections, scrapping jury trials, scrapping democracy, scrapping Brexit, scrapping the British flag, scrapping business and economic growth!

Labour is successfully turning Britain into Zimbabwe.

Everything’s Been Done! The Internet is Now Just Repetition and Spam

0

There was a time when the internet felt like a vast frontier, a lawless jungle, an anarchic free place where new ideas were spawned and everything was open season. Brave explorers logged on through those wonderful screeching modems to discover entirely new lands populated by animated GIFs of dancing hamsters and forums devoted to the deep philosophical question of Goatse. It was chaotic, exciting, and, most importantly, new.

Those days are way, way over.

After decades of relentless creativity, humanity has finally done everything possible on the internet.

Every joke has been told. Every opinion has been expressed. Every photograph of a cat wearing a tiny hat has been uploaded. Every selfie is just another selfie amongst the trillions and trillions of selfies.

The digital well has run drier than a nun’s snatch. People are now simply standing around the empty bucket, lowering it repeatedly and hoping for the comforting splash of originality that never comes.

Not only has the creativity vanished into the internet bucket of doom, most of it is fake now. Farms and farms of mobile phone farms are spamming the shit out of everything, playing on the gluttonous greed of fake influencers and their equally fake followers.

Scroll through any social media platform and you will see the evidence. The same videos appear again and again, just slightly altered, like a theatrical production where every actor has been replaced but the script remains stubbornly identical.

One person posts a clever remark, another copies it, and within 48 hours the entire internet is solemnly repeating it like monks chanting a sacred text. Big fucking echo chambers repeating the same old shit ad infinitum.

Even memes have begun to look tired. Once upon a time they arrived fresh and surprising. Now they resemble photocopies of photocopies, each one slightly blurrier than the last. Someone takes a meme from 2014, adds a caption about inflation, and suddenly it is considered cutting-edge satire — more like rehashed bollocks in reality.

The great tragedy is that the internet has not stopped producing content. Quite the opposite. Billions of posts and AI slop appear every day. The problem is that they all appear to be the same five posts, rearranged endlessly like digital furniture in a very boring room.

Take the modern online argument. It begins when someone declares an extremely confident opinion. Within minutes, thousands of people arrive to explain that the opinion is wrong. Then thousands more appear to explain that the people explaining it is wrong are themselves wrong. By the end of the day the discussion has expanded to include geopolitics, pineapple on pizza and the collapse of civilisation. The following morning the exact same argument begins again, word for word, somewhere else.

Meanwhile, the plethora of performing monkey ‘influencers’ are constantly attempting to create novelty or internet clout by executing increasingly elaborate versions of things that were already done in 2017.

A person films themselves pointing at floating text explaining five secrets to success. Another films themselves, pointing at the same text but with better lighting. Soon the entire internet consists of people pointing at text that other people wrote yesterday or that AI has rehashed from its massive scraping efforts.

Even the supposedly infinite world of online video has begun looping. There are only so many things a human can do in front of a camera before the format collapses in exhaustion. At this point the options appear to be cooking something, reacting to someone else cooking something, or reacting to someone reacting to someone cooking something. There is no real value anymore to any of the rehashed videos or the trillions of faceless AI-created videos cooked up by some boy in a Mumbai slum.

Scholars may eventually divide the history of the internet into three phases. The Age of Discovery, when everything felt new. The Age of Platforms and Regulation, when everything became organised into feeds. And the current era, known to historians as The Great Recycling.

The internet has become daytime television.

Of course, some optimists insist that innovation will return. They say the internet will continue to evolve and produce strange new forms of creativity. These people are admirable, but unfortunately they have already posted that exact hopeful prediction twelve years ago, and someone else reposted it last week with a slightly different font.

For now we must accept the truth. The internet has completed its mission. The thrill of telling someone else halfway across the world in whatever country to “fuck off!” has simply died and gone to the cosmic internet swear box of history. Humanity has collectively explored every possible corner of the digital landscape. All that remains is the quiet, dignified business of repeating ourselves infinitely.

If you have read something like this before, do not worry.

So has everyone else.

KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH