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The Daily Squib Anthology Book Now For Sale

As the editor of the Squib I can proudly announce that The Daily Squib Anthology From 2007 to 2022 is finally for sale.

Since founding the Daily Squib on April 1st 2007, many changes have taken place on the internet and indeed the globe. This is why this carefully curated anthology encapsulates those changes in a satirical manner. Fifteen years of different presidents, prime ministers, wars, peace and a myriad of little societal nuances that made up that period of history.

Looking for that curious unique gift for dad’s Christmas stocking, or something to read while taking the dump of the century in your toilet, the Daily Squib Anthology is the perfect celebration of our times, good and bad?

Come, join the circus, look at the clowns and listen to the troubadours as they usher in a new era for humanity, horrific yet beautiful at the same time, a glowing paradoxical dystopian paradise entrenched in reality show hell and fake celebrity appearances. All manner of fantastic beasts projectile vomiting over everything daringly encapsulating this curious rare book compiled with the indomitable spirit of Juvenalis in mind, but furnished within a modern 21st century outlook.

A bold erupting satisfying fart into the darkest and illuminating facets of humanity’s wonders, The Daily Squib Anthology is now available to buy direct from the publisher or from Amazon, or from any good bookshop.

Get your copy now, the first 150 are signed by the author.

The book will only be released in paperback.

daily squib book signed

Probably the Best Video Channel On YouTube Right Now

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There’s something supremely satisfying about watching a video of a fake old man with a walker bending over consumers in some conglomerate store somewhere, probably in California, making some pretty realistic ripping fart noises.

This sport of farting on these people is almost an artistic act in itself, a theatre of derision and disgust, yet highly entertaining. We mention California because 98% of the people being farted upon are either Latino, Asian or Black, not that it matters at all but is based on the population dynamics of that state. What’s interesting also is that some of these consumers are so consumed by the act of shopping, they do not even flinch for a second when another ripper comes along. This could be construed as another commentary on the blind depth of consumer culture, where nothing else matters apart from picking up that special 20% off toilet paper deal or some other banal product.

Not sure how the farts are amplified or created, but there is a suspicion that the video makers use a Bluetooth speaker of some sort triggered by a mobile phone by the guy filming and following with the cunning disguise of pushing a shopping cart around. The white socks and flip-flops are a genius touch, along with the pockets hanging out of the old bastard’s trousers. Girls especially love being farted upon.

How do you make a living? I go around malls and supermarkets farting on people. What a supremely majestic way of making a living.

After Giving Chagos Islands to China, Starmer Planning to Betray Falklands and Gibraltar

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PM Keir Starmer is obviously a man who detests the UK and its illustrious history, as well as its territorial rights. He is an obvious danger to British national security, and if it were up to us, he would be ousted for gross negligence and High Treason against the Crown for his irresponsible actions of relinquishing the operational strategic Chagos Islands and the militarily essential Diego Garcia to Mauritius, an ally of China. What’s next? No doubt, the Falklands and Gibraltar will be the next victims of Starmer’s irresponsible ineptitude and betrayal of Britain’s global stature.

To this end, one must readily presume that Starmer will now relinquish the Falkland Islands and Gibraltar some time within his tenure. All of these British territories are crucial military and territorial zones that ensure the safety of the United Kingdom, but Starmer is someone who is not a friend of Britain but rather an enemy. He is a plant, and is a serious danger to all of us.

Britain’s military is tragically already weak after decades of underfunding, and the reciprocation of Britain’s strategic interests around the globe will further weaken its status. The Falklands and Gibraltar are sovereign British territories that must be defended at all costs, and the wrongful Chagos Island Starmer deal must be annulled.

Britain needs to implement checks and balances on Prime Ministers who have gone rogue, or are corrupt, who implement dangerous decisions that put the country in grave jeopardy.

Furthermore, questions should be asked about Starmer’s cronyism, especially as the legal adviser for Mauritius Philippe Sands KC is a long-time close friend of Starmer. Who knows what was traded behind closed doors, perhaps Starmer and his wife will receive an all-expenses-paid trip to Mauritius or Shanghai, or a new set of Gucci suits? It is a distinct possibility that this dangerous and damaging capitulation of the Chagos Islands is linked directly to a planned deal made before Starmer even took office. For a guy so easily bought off with bribes, anything is possible, and betraying your own country is of no consequence.

Prepare for more damage to Britain from Starmer in the forthcoming agonising years of utter pain and hopelessness which seeps through the country like a corrupting malignant cancerous tumour. The British territories of the Falklands and Gibraltar are most probably next on the block.

Starmer Pays Back 6k of Bribes But Not the Rest £100,000

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Freeloading swine in the trough, PM Keir Starmer has paid back £6,000 of indecently appropriated bribes from Labour cash-handout man Lord Alli, but has refused to pay back the rest of the ill-gotten gains he received totalling £107,000, including £32,200 worth of designer bespoke tailored suits and £2,485 worth of glasses.

The man who bought his way into the House of Lords gifting bribes for special favours from MPs, Lord Alli, is currently being investigated by the House of Lords standards commission for links to “non-registration of interests leading to potential breaches” of the peers’ code of conduct.

Whilst Starmer paid back a tiny fraction of the bribe money he has appropriated, other Labour MPs are holding onto their loot and refuse to pay back the money.

Redhead fire crotch Angela Rayner, who thoroughly enjoyed an £836 freebie visit to a DJ booth in Ibiza, or David Lammy, who was given tickets to watch Arsenal refuse to pay back the money, as does Rachel Reeves and nepo kid Liam Conlon, Labour MP and son of the Downing Street big salaried Sue Gray, Starmer’s chief of staff, who accepted bribes of £1,660 for two tickets to a Swift concert on Aug 20.

Panic Buying Starts: Ports From Maine to Texas Crippled by Strikes

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Pretty much every commodity is shipped into US ports every day. A strike by port dockworkers who are making demands about increased automation and pay will essentially cripple the United States. It may already be too late to start stocking up right now, unless you’re a prepper, you’re most probably fucked.

In the New York City area alone, nearly 100,000 containers are waiting to be unloaded, with 35 more container ships on their way.

The first week of the strike, it will be all over the news, but mainly ignored or dismissed as baloney by the media.

The second week of the strike, the car industry will be first to suffer, as there will be no cars coming in on the ships. Car salesmen will get laid off. Car showrooms will be on the brink of going under. Many manufacturing jobs and businesses will be lost as the raw goods they rely on will not be unloaded at the ports. Crucial supply chains will be fractured, causing serious damage to companies.

The third week of the strike, malls start closing down. The cheap Chinese junk is not coming in at the docks. Can’t sell clothes, can’t sell cheap Chinese electronics, can’t sell shoes, can’t sell diapers, can’t sell toilet paper. Everything in the United States comes in on a ship. The malls and supermarkets go out of business. Construction workers get laid off because the necessary building materials aren’t coming in. The steel is not coming in, the lumber is not coming in, everyone loses their jobs. Construction companies are on the brink of going under.

The fourth week, vegetable Joe Biden finally realises something is wrong and uses Taft-Hartley to force the longshore men back to work. The dockworkers go back to work for 90 days on full pay but do the minimum amount of work, and the backlog of shipments is so large it would take over 8 months to clear. Meanwhile, the US economy is essentially crippled and countless industries that rely on daily shipments are fucked in the ass. Businesses are going down left right and centre, badda boom badda bing, employees are being let go, and the shelves in stores are empty. Jeff Bezos has an epileptic fit and is hospitalised. Stocks are tanking.

The fifth week – civil unrest. Riots and mass looting of little of what is left in the shops start across major cities. The National Guard is deployed with minimal effect. People who live pay cheque to pay cheque now have absolutely nothing left and despair sets in. More businesses that held out for this long go under. The crippling carnage continues…

It’s going to be a great Christmas with nothing in the shops or supermarkets and millions more people made redundant. As for the election? Forget about it… Moral of the story, don’t mess with dockworkers, especially if the union boss is a connected wise guy.

5 Million Displaced Lebanese and Syrian Refugees Moving Towards EU

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The entire region of Southern Lebanon has been evacuated due to conflict with Israel and Hezbollah, causing a direct displacement of the population. Larger areas will be potentially cleared, causing a displacement of more than 5 million Lebanese people who will all seek to move to the EU claiming asylum. There are already over 3 million displaced Syrians in Lebanon, who will have to move again.

The refugees from war will most probably move through Syria, then Turkey onto Greece. The Greek Islands and mainland are ideal places to land for refugees because they are so numerous, and hard to defend. Alternative longer routes could be through Tunisia and Morocco onto Spain and Italy. There has been a huge surge in refugees, and also a large surge in people traffickers looking to capitalise on the increase in business.

The EU, which was already deluged in 2015 during the height of the Syrian war, will now have to accept another 5-10 million people from the Middle East. This time, bribing the Turks to keep the refugees with money may not work because no amount of money can compensate for such a surge suddenly of a population from another region.

welcome to france

Essentially, the incoming Lebanese refugees into EU states could cause a disintegration of services as every part of government and the infrastructure collapses from the massive influx at speed.

Unfortunately, Britain is now governed by a socialist/communist government who want open borders for the UK, so the tiny island of Britain will most certainly be inundated as well because of Starmer’s insane socialist/Marxist ideology. Things are bad with the NHS already, and public services are crumbling nowadays after decades of unfettered mass migration into the UK, causing an overloading pressure about to explode at any moment. A further 2-3 million Lebanese asylum seekers from the Middle East will cause huge amounts of damage to the UK’s already strained infrastructure.

For the Russians, this is a wonderful opportunity to sit back and watch, and simply wait for the EU and UK to crumble. One must remember that open Schengen zone doors in the EU are open pathways directly to the UK.

migrants eu flag

UPDATE: Private Eye Editor Ian Hislop Escapes “Imaginary” Gun Shots

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Media reports claim Ian Hislop, the long-time editor of the satirical magazine Private Eye, narrowly missed shots fired whilst travelling through Soho in a black cab taxi.

A Metropolitan police spokesperson said: “Police were called at 10.10am on Tuesday, 1 October to a report of a firearms discharge on Dean Street, Westminster.

“The driver of a London black taxi reported he was stationary in traffic when a shot was fired towards his vehicle, striking the window.

“There were no injuries. An investigation has been launched.”

UPDATE

Police investigating a report that a shot was fired at a taxi carrying Ian Hislop have found no evidence of this.

“Urgent CCTV and forensic examinations” instead suggested a mechanical fault with the vehicle, which caused the rear window to shatter, a spokesperson for the Metropolitan Police said.

The force said officers were continuing to investigate the circumstances of the incident, which took place in Soho, central London, on Tuesday morning. Neither Mr Hislop nor the driver, were injured.

Consensus – More bollocks from Hislop.

Vice President Debate: Who Cares?

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Last night was the Vice President debate for the US 2024 Election. Who fucking cares? It’s the same old squabbling useless titter tatter that solves no purpose apart from showcasing two useless individuals and a most probably biased moderation.

If the Vice President debate is held on a Democrat led TV network, prepare for the Republican candidate to be discriminated against, and vice versa if the event is held on a Republican led TV network.

Essentially, vice presidents in American politics are mere mascots and otherwise completely useless. Look at Kamala Harris for example, name one thing she actually did in the last five years apart from stand on a few stages nodding her head in agreement to a mumbling incoherent Joe Biden.

Who is J.D. Vance and the Tampon Guy — who fucking cares? They are nobodies, they are governmental stooges picked to supposedly prop up a US presidential system that is frankly on its last legs.

It’s just another Vice President Debate. Time to switch off, take your sticky socks off and watch your toenails growing instead.

Music Biz: “P. Diddy is Apparently a ‘Kiddie Fiddler’ According to Lawyer”

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P. Diddy or whatever his fucking name is, is allegedly a “kiddie fiddler” who abused young kids, including a 9-year-old boy. The rap pop star identified as a predominantly gay predator paedophile and is currently being held in a jail somewhere in New York awaiting trial.

“If you attend a P. Diddy party, man, woman or child, you will probably wake up after three days with a very sore asshole,” one commentator revealed.

Another minor told allegedly by P. Diddy that he would make him a star, but he needed to visit with him in private about it away from his parents. Once they were in a private area, allegedly paedophile P. Diddy made the young boy perform a homosexual act of oral sex upon him, a lawyer revealed

“One individual who was 22 years at the time she was assaulted said that the typical MO at one of these parties…was that when you were handed a drink, and now we know that the drink is laced with something, that if you refused to drink it, you were kicked out of the party,” the lawyer added.

Wrecked

In another disturbing case, an adult pregnant woman claims she was raped after attending a group dinner with Diddy in Miami.

“She wasn’t drinking because she was pregnant, but whatever she drank at the table, apparently was laced with something.

“She blacked out, and she woke up in the same bed, again, allegedly with P. Diddy in his mansion in Miami. Her vagina and her anus were torn and sore, and I could go on. And literally, you’re sensing a theme here.”

Some people and Industry Insiders may argue that all of this is normal practice in the black rap music scene and Hollywood, but is that really an excuse for it all? The rap scene is endemic to all these abhorrent acts, but because it is black, it is mostly protected from any form of criticism or regulation, that is until certain individuals get exposed to the public through a leak in the system. One thing’s for sure, P. Diddy will be quite at home in his new scene — the prison scene.

And it Begins: Iran Officially at “War” With Israel!

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Iran has fired 500 ballistic missiles at Tel Aviv. The Israeli Iron Dome malfunctioned under the deluge, with many rockets from Iran hitting residential areas. As of now, there are no mentions of Israeli civilian casualties. Earlier on in the day, Hezbollah targeted the Mossad HQ in Tel Aviv with rockets in response to Israel’s incursion into Southern Lebanon.

Iranian sleeper cell members conducted a mass shooting, killing six people near the Jaffa border, before the Iranian missiles started falling across the city.

Meanwhile, in Gaza, there were mass celebrations in the streets as news of the Iranian missile attacks filtered through. Palestinians were seen cheering wildly as they wished death upon all Jews in the region.

We are living in Biden’s world, a world of utter fucking chaos and war. The absolute incompetence of that vegetable in the White House is an astonishing detriment to the validity of the entire United States as a global power.

Not only is Biden a disgrace to the flag of the United States, but he is a disgrace to the security of the entire globe. His negligence and total apathy is why Iran is now at open war with Israel.

Escalation? The time for “diplomacy” has long passed, and it was never attempted in the first place by the ineffectual, impotent Biden administration.

The antisemitic Labour government is just as implicit by their insane decision to limit arms sales to Israel and David Lammy, a man who obviously detests Israel and Jews, is also as guilty of negligence as much as the Biden White House.

Israel will now attack Iran, then Iran will attack Israel again and so on…all the while, the US and UK will beg Israel to kick the can down the road again making the situation a lot worse than it already is.

Joy and tremendous happiness has descended on Gaza and all Palestinians today. The streets are teaming with jubilation and felicitation.

Henry Kissinger: “If You Can’t Hear the Drums of War You Must Be Deaf”

Henry Kissinger: “The Delightful Drums of War Beat Louder Every Day”

Lebanon Invasion: What Chance Does Hezbollah Have With No Air Superiority?

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The Israeli military machine is currently conducting a “limited” ground and air invasion of Lebanon, and their target is the terrorist group backed by Iran, Hezbollah. The Israeli Defence Force is a formidable force with unparalleled control over the skies and air superiority. What hope can Hezbollah have when it has zero control over satellites, fighter jets, bombers, helicopters, drones and smart missiles?

The Israel military said the invasion involves paratroopers and commandos from the elite 98th division, which was deployed to the north two weeks ago from Gaza

Air superiority is the dealmaker in any modern conflict, and many terrorist organisations do not have the capabilities for such methods of conflict apart from firing dumb home-made missiles indiscriminately at the enemy. ISIS was destroyed in Syria by this same technique.

There are however a few limitations to air superiority, and that is its ability to indefinitely hold a captured or cleared territory, therefore air superiority must be supplemented by a ground force to secure the ground after the initial air operation has targeted the specific targets needed for victory.

News on the ground is that Hezbollah were planning an October 7 Hamas-style terrorist act on Israeli settlements situated over the Lebanese southern border. The current IDF operation is designed to neutralise this impending threat.

The Arab and Persian world meanwhile is standing aside and watching. The problem with Israel’s current invasion is that their actions could inflame tensions within the Muslim world further and could be the precursor to escalation of the current situation. As Israel stamps its authority on air superiority over the region, the Hezbollah terrorist group members can only hide in their underground tunnels, which are also susceptible to bunker buster missiles.