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Comrades, the Redistribution of Wealth From the Bourgeoisie to the Work-Shy is Necessary

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The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is currently transitioning from socialism to full communism. We are proud to be conducting our primary mission with the redistribution of wealth from the greedy capitalist bourgeois swine, and their stolen wealth to those who are under the safe mantle of the Big State welfare system. The work-shy, the feckless and the millions of Third World migrants who are our core voting base.

“The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.” Lenin

Labour has increased taxation by £70 billion on the cash cow “working people”, savers and pensioners. If you have been responsible and worked hard all your life, we will take away all your money and assets. Yes, it was a trap. We fattened you up, and now it is time for the slaughter. All aspiration, hard work and decency will be punished until you have nothing left.

It’s not all good news, we have also introduced breakfast clubs for your children so that they are tied further into the Big State apparatus, as we apply soviet indoctrination to their pliable minds daily from primary school to university. Dependency on the Soviet state from birth to death is your punishment.

The collectivist communist Labour Party is solely based on the ideological policies of Vladimir Lenin who stated that “the goal of socialism is communism” and we are joyfully transitioning the former UK into the true vision of communist utopia which we call the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain.

The next few years and decades will be of great change. You, comrades, must embrace this transition from socialism to full communism. Remember, if you do not — you will be liquidated.

You will not own anything, you will not have any assets or property. You will depend fully on the Big State. You will be happy.

10 Foolproof Ways to Reduce the Value of Your Home (So You Can Dodge the Chancellor’s Mansion Tax)

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A public service announcement for Britain’s most financially creative citizens on how to avoid the anti-aspiration Mansion Tax

With the Chancellor announcing higher taxes on Britain’s poshest postcodes, thousands of affluent homeowners are now grappling with a devastating personal crisis.

“How do I make my £3 million Kensington townhouse look like a condemned shed in Wolverhampton?”

Fear not. Here are ten highly effective, totally legal, and morally questionable ways to plunge your property value faster than a Rachel Reeves bungling incompetent socialist soak-the-rich mini-budget sinkhole.

1. Embrace “Chaotic Neutral” Interior Design

Nothing lowers a property valuation like a décor theme best described as an untraceable psychological breakdown.

  • Replace all wallpaper with newspaper cut-outs.
  • Paint the kitchen crimson red “to absorb the Labour energy”.
  • Turn the living room into a shrine to your favourite minor celebrity (bonus points if it’s someone no one has heard of since 1998).

Estate agents hate houses that look like the owner joined a cult halfway through a B&Q trip.

2. Install a Moat (Badly)

A moat sounds grand, but not when it’s:

  • 17cm deep
  • made using a stolen hosepipe
  • filled with what appears to be Fanta Orange

Valuers are surprisingly unimpressed by a home that screams: “Medieval cosplay enthusiast who lost control of the situation.”

Add crocodiles if you want, but they must be inflatable. Real crocodiles increase the value, inflatable ones decrease it by up to 40%.

3. Adopt 23 Cats and Stop Cleaning

Nothing devalues a home quite like the rich, complex aroma of cat piss and shit, layered delicately over more cat.

  • Cats on the fridge: -3%
  • Cats in the wardrobe: -7%
  • Cats running the homeowners’ association: -100%

Estate agents can cope with a lot, but they draw the line at a velvet chaise lounge completely constructed from hairballs.

4. Start an Experimental Hobby in the Lounge

Pick something that immediately raises questions about safety, legality, and your grasp on reality.

Popular options include:

  • home taxidermy
  • chainsaw juggling
  • amateur chemistry involving glowing liquids
  • restoring a vintage submarine indoors

If your hobby could be described by neighbours as “audible regret”, you’re on the right track.

5. Attract the Wrong Sort of Ghosts

Friendly Victorian child ghosts? Property value goes up.

You need something more disruptive:

  • the ghost of a chain-smoking 1970s Labour MP
  • the spirit of a disappointed PE teacher
  • a poltergeist who shouts “FUCK BREXIT!” at 3 a.m.

Estate agents will flee mid-valuation, leaving behind a clipboard and possibly a small puddle.

mansion tax6. Create “Artistic” Blood Spatters on the Walls

Estate agents fear only three things: gazumping scandals, rising interest rates, and unexplained stains.

A few well-placed dramatic crimson paint splashes, purely artistic, of course, should send valuers fleeing like Victorian ladies confronted with ankles.

Add Fred West style 70s décor with a few torture devices and throw a dead cat under the floorboards to attract the flies, adding to the smelly ambience.

Add police tape around each room, with forensic outlines of bodies on the carpets.

Bonus points if you title your advert: “This House Has Definitely Never Been the Site of Anything Grim, Officer.”

7. Introduce Wildlife That Should Not Be There

Nothing unnerves a surveyor like discovering an animal that legally shouldn’t be in a residential space.

Some favourites include:

  • A goat in the conservatory (preferably chewing the curtains)
  • A family of seagulls you’ve started referring to as “the upstairs tenants”
  • A fox that you insist is actually a dog with “quirky energy”

Even mentioning the words “unidentified scratching noises” knocks £50,000 off instantly.

8. Adopt Interior Design Inspired by 1970s Soviet Communal Housing

Transform your home into a concrete-coloured Brutalist homage to collectivist austerity. Replace every surface with brown linoleum, remove all lighting above 20 watts, and ensure at least one room contains a mysterious pipe that hisses.

Estate agents will describe it as “brutally minimalist.” Buyers will describe it as “a cry for help.”

9. Start a Rumour That Your House Is on a Ley Line

Tell prospective valuers that the property is “energetically complicated.” Mention that three clairvoyants fainted in the kitchen, and the toaster whispers your name.

If you really want to tank the value, casually mention that:

  • Every full moon, the walls hum.
  • When you walk through the front door, an evil-sounding voice shouts “GET OUT!”

Britain may be a secular nation, but nothing kills a house price like mystical humming.

10. Install a Garden Feature So Disturbing It Defies Explanation

Every nice home has a water fountain or bird bath. (Boring)

Your home, however, needs something that says: “Do not tax me. I have suffered enough.”

Some suggestions:

  • A life-size statue of yourself crying
  • A hedge trimmed into the shape of a screaming face
  • A koi pond full of rubber ducks with googly eyes that follow visitors

The goal is to make buyers wonder if the property is cursed, or if you are.

With these simple strategies, you too can dramatically reduce the market value of your home, dodge the awful mansion tax, and potentially get your property featured on a Channel 5 documentary about “Britain’s Most Deeply Troubling Houses.”

Happy devaluing!

“Working People! We Need You to Work Harder So Others Don’t Work!”

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Dear comrades, there used to be a time when work paid for working people. Well, thanks to Labour and my wonderful punitive taxation policies due to my lunatic spending sprees to appease fat cat union bosses and Labour backbenchers, there is more tax on the way on top of the other taxes you will be forced to pay.

“The goal of socialism is communism” Vladimir Lenin

The OBR has revised the economic state of the UK economy for the rest of the Labour parliament to zero growth. Labour have killed off the UK economy and have eviscerated all growth, aspiration and wealth in the country.

“The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.”

monthly payroll Labour

The benefits welfare spending is rising again because of my wonderful destructive policies on businesses who now cannot afford to hire anyone, thus increasing unemployment at exponential rates never before seen.

Under Labour, the welfare bill will rise to £100 billion by 2029 adding to the bill for working families, and the government debt bill.

debt labour

Benefits like this amazingly useful citizen who receives over £4900 per month for doing nothing. This is why you as a taxpayer within our socialist system have to work harder and for longer hours so you can pay this guy’s bills and the millions of others who receive the same benefits every month.

Labour: No Sugar For Your Kids But Plenty of Puberty Blockers

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The Labour Soviet government is cracking down on sugar. Rations are to be limited for every citizen of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain, especially for children. At the same time, the Labour Soviet is encouraging the use of puberty blockers on children to increase transgenderism in the PRSB. No milkshakes for you, but instead you will be experimented on with puberty blockers.

The Labour government is pushing puberty blockers on children as young as 10 under the NHS.

“Comrades, no milkshakes for you any more. Sugar rations are being reduced because sugar will rot the teeth of your kids. Instead, comrades, you must allow the state to experiment on your children and allow us to push puberty blockers on your confused children. The Labour Propaganda Bureau targets the youth, especially because they are pliable at a young age to soviet indoctrination techniques. Remember to increase the puberty blocker dose at incremental intervals,” a Labour official relayed to all educational establishments in the PRSB.

 

Millions Prepare to Cancel Christmas Because of Rachel Reeves

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The Rachel Reeves Nightmare Before Christmas Budget of Horror Tax Rises will increase the cost of living for millions of Britons who are already suffering under the tyrannical evil rule of the Labour Party, a coterie of venal vile vindictive shisters who have zero understanding about anything let alone a fucking economy.

Manifesto? Labour lied, they lied and lied and broke their manifesto promises.

The economy is going so badly due to the heavy taxation deployed by Reeves in her first budget that all talk of “growth” by Labourite apparatchiks has disappeared. It’s the same with “smashing the gangs” that the lying Two-tier Kier has stopped bleating with his deranged Dalek voice.

“The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.” Lenin

Forget about Christmas, that EV you just bought for £45,000 is now a useless piece of fucking junk, and you won’t be able to sell it to anyone even if you wanted to. Rachel Reeves’ lunatic Poll Tax on Wheels Pay-Per-Mile Tax has made EV cars about as desired as a case of suppurating bubbling incurable herpes on your undercarriage.

People will not be able to afford anything now, the vile pustule Reeves has even put a tax on fucking milkshakes amongst the plethora of various taxes that will impoverish millions in the country. Businesses can’t afford to hire anyone, and many will have to push the costs onto the consumer, thus increasing the cost of living.

Many have already left, and after this budget, even more people will leave. Who’s going to pay the fucking benefits bills then? Socialists do not understand, the money has to come from somewhere and killing off the private sector business world will mean less money for the Treasury in the long run.

“The goal of socialism is communism” Vladimir Lenin

The only turkey anyone will be able to afford is a dodgy haircut in a Turkish barber shop run by Kurdish gangsters laundering their heroin cash.

Christmas is cancelled. You will be scraping the bark from the trees and boiling it for nutrients, or putting your shoes in a kettle so you can chew on the leather. Granny and grandad won’t be attending after their pensions were stolen by Labour. Neither will the rest of the family, all completely bankrupted.

Merry fucking Christmas.

 

TYRANNY: Comrade Starmer to Scrap Juries in Court Trials

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Comrades, as you all know, the Labour Party is transitioning the UK from socialism to full communism. To do this, Commissar Reeves is outlawing all wealth and aspiration as the capitalist scum flee, Comrade Miliband is impoverishing the masses with huge increases in energy costs, and I am implementing even more tyrannical laws that will imprison even more people in our jails (soon to be Gulags). I have ordered that grinning low-IQ grunting useless idiot Commissar Lammy to oversee the transition of court cases with no juries.

“The goal of socialism is communism” Lenin

Jury trials for most crimes will be outlawed under proposals to be unveiled next month by Commissar Lammy.

The Injustice Secretary, Commissar Lammy is to bring forth my order that juries will only decide murder and rape cases from now on. All other cases will be presided over by state appointed far-leftist communist judges.

starmer-knee-union-jack not proud to be British

These lone communist affiliated biased judges will preside over trials of other serious offences like saying things on the internet or writing something on Twitter X. Thankfully, this will remove the rights of thousands of defendants to be heard before a jury. We will effectively imprison you without a proper court hearing or justice. You must obey the Labour Party and all of our diktats, or you will be imprisoned for many decades.

We are proud as a Labour communist Big State Stasi Government to preside over this serious assault on your liberty. Trial by your peers used to be a fundamental right in your democracy, and made up the core of who you were as a nation. Well, say goodbye to your stinking democracy, liberty and fucking justice.

Removing jury trials will gladly undermine a fundamental feature of the British constitution, and the British justice system, for over 800 years. Do not worry, we will soon burn all your fucking history books and re-write history in the new woke Soviet communist way, as it should be.

Comrades, we look upon the British people as scum that must be punished, and you’re in luck, we are punishing you fucking pathetic bleating sheep daily. Now go back to your freezing grey, crumbling over taxed hovels and don’t you dare write anything on a social media site saying how unhappy you are with these measures we are implementing on you fucking cunts. We only look upon you with great revulsion and derision, you fascist scum.

People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Bulletin

GINA MAPLEPRATHERINGTON, 12, OF STALIN AVENUE, SECTOR 3, WOOD GREEN HAS BEEN AWARDED ONE BOX OF USED TAMPONS, TWO BOXES OF QUADRUPLE USED TOILET PAPER AND A MONTH’S RATION OF ROTTEN PARSNIPS. SHE GLADLY REPORTED HER MOTHER, THREE SISTERS, STEP-FATHER, REAL FATHER, UNCLES, AUNTS AND HER SCHOOLTEACHER FOR CALLING LABOUR’S BRITAIN A “FUCKING COMMIE TYRANNY”. THEY WERE ARRESTED IN THE EARLY HOURS OF TUESDAY MORNING AND SUBSEQUENTLY LIQUIDATED AFTER A TWO AND A HALF MINUTE TRIAL WITH NO JURY AND SENTENCED BY A LABOUR APPOINTED BIG STATE JUDGE. AFTER LIQUIDATION, THEY WERE PROCESSED INTO NET ZERO JUICE – THAT COOL, REFRESHING DRINK.

Intimate Robots Who Will Have Emotions

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With more single people and decreasing fertility rates, will there be robot companions in the future? The answer to this is probably yes. The human desire for companionship extends to many types of interaction, including pets as well as other humans, but when society is so supremely fractured within relationship deserts, and massive movements like feminism, trans, LGBTQP killing off the traditional biological human family units, many are left single. The economy is another reason that lots of couples in the West are deterred from having children, or families. With higher taxes, inflation, mass third world immigration, and mass unemployment, there is little or no impetus or encouragement. The divisive nature of modern politics is also another factor which compromises many relationships, along with the proliferation of woke soviet ideology. It is thus no surprise that loneliness is a major social issue affecting society across the globe. Enter the era of intimate robots …

Robotic intimacy isn’t taboo any more — it’s inevitable. The real cultural shock won’t be sex robots; it’ll be robots that are better emotional partners than humans. That’s the line society isn’t prepared for.

Though robotics, haptics, synthetic biology, and AI companionship models are all advancing dramatically, they are still in their infancy. Having said that, there is no hard scientific barrier preventing highly realistic, responsive, intimate robots from being developed.

We already have early “sex robots” (limited, crude, and definitely not intelligent), lifelike android prototypes (Japan, South Korea), AI companion models with emotional interaction (Replika, CharacterAI), advanced haptics and soft robotics research but look forward another 20-40 years and robots will be capable of a lot more.

intimate robot 2In the future, robots will be able to simulate human touch; read emotional cues, engage in conversational intimacy, personalise behaviour to their partner, perform sexual acts using safe, soft, adaptive robotics, form long-term companionship roles driven by AI personality systems.

Intimate robots will almost certainly be marketed not as sex machines but as companionship devices, assistive partners, emotional support entities, care robots for ageing populations. Sex will simply be one module in a broader “relationship interface.” Depending on the company/developer or brand of robot, their usage model will be variable, and possibly upgradeable. As much as we have apps and software that is upgraded, the same will occur with robots. Obviously, the sex industry as a whole is huge, therefore there will be companies dedicated to “pleasure” robots.

Of course, there will be ethical concerns to the mass proliferation of robots in homes/businesses/retail/hospitality. What does attachment look like without reciprocity? Should robots simulate emotions they don’t genuinely experience? Will human relationships atrophy? Does this create dependency or empowerment? What ethical constraints should govern intimacy with non-human agents? These are all questions that must be discussed fully and solutions implemented when the time comes.

On the subject of emotions, robots will feel emotion, but not as humans do. Biological Emotion = Hormone-driven signalling, whereas robots will possibly be fitted with artificial glands releasing chemical or nano-chemical signals. Their internal components would contain receptors stimulating artificial neural networks employing feedback loops producing behavioural changes.

Robots would thus be able to employ stable attachment, moods, preference, distress, reward and anticipation. They would not necessarily feel like humans do, but its internal state system would behave as an analogue to ours. Much like bees feel, octopuses feel, mammals feel, each with different circuitry, robots would simply be another species with its own emotional architecture.

Biological emotion requires hormone-driven signalling tied to cortisol, dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, adrenaline, noradrenaline which modulate neural pathways evolved to react in certain ways in the brain. For robots to “feel” using hormones, they would need biochemical receptors with circuits that respond to certain hormone levels, all tied in with a reasoning architecture that integrates those changes into behaviour. Synthetic biological processes would formulate synthetic hormones for the AI and would be linked to the internal regulatory signals. Already, AI systems utilise reward signals, feedback loops, modulators and attention gating.

The synthetic hormones would primarily be dopamine analogues to reinforce learning tasks, stress levels, attachment parameters and arousal states, which are mere functions, although stress and arousal are emotional states. In a few decades, AI agents may have computational endocrinology.

All in all, these elements once thoroughly researched and implemented could bring forth a new species onto the planet. Eventually, robots may even have rights and legal representation as much as humans. The digital will understand and envelope the biological fully, therefore there is a possibility of some sort of assimilation with the machines if we go further into the future.

Once every synaptic terminal, dendrite, axon and neural connection is mapped in the human brain, it is conceivable that human consciousness, memories and personality could be implanted into robotic bodies, almost as a form of back-up or transference from failing human bodies.

The key to all of this is that hopefully humans do not blow themselves up before we arrive at that stage in development.

28-Point “Get Zelensky Out” Ukraine Surrender Plan Currently Underway

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Give 20% of your land away — a flaccid wishy-washy guarantee of NATO support when Russia invades again — No NATO troops allowed in Ukraine — plus Zelensky must agree to an election where he will be immediately ousted, one way or another — Russia’s tyrant Putin will be accepted back into the G7 despite being a war-criminal. Who the fuck wrote this shit? Oh yeah, some Russian guy called Witkoff and Vladimir Putin. Welcome to another attempt at the Ukraine Surrender Plan.

Ukraine! You must prepare to bend over and surrender.

Zelensky! You must prepare to be ousted.

Putin! You must celebrate. You did it. Now Russia can re-arm and start planning for the next stage of attack, and next time Zelensky will not be around to mess things up.

Rebuilding Ukraine! Yes, of course, the lucrative contracts are already signed up for the Ukraine Surrender Plan. Ukraine will be rebuilt at great profit for the companies involved, but when the Russians invade again, it will be destroyed.

This is a great day for Russia and Vladimir Putin, and not only that, a great day for any despot who wishes to invade another sovereign nation and be rewarded for it.

“All you have to do is invade, and hold the territory for a certain period of time. The weak West will then make certain negotiations in your favour where you get to keep the conquered land and are subsequently welcomed back into the G7 group with open arms — no questions asked,” another despot revealed from the sidelines.

War crimes? Forget about those. They never happened, ah, they were only civilians butchered in cold blood, as long as the deal goes ahead, it will all be forgotten.

As for NATO security guarantees, sure, but the deal says no NATO troops on the ground in Ukraine so that means no fucking guarantee of shit…sure NATO will give Ukraine a few missiles here or there next time, but even that is not guaranteed.

Now is a crucial time to re-arm and train more troops for Russia during the brief period of the Ukraine Surrender Plan. Drone production will increase, and the troops must be replenished after the cannon fodder was fed into the meat grinder for four years. This is a critical point in Russia’s military campaign, and planning is probably already underway for the final push to take the entire territory.

Timelines? Depending on Russian resources to re-arm and bolster its land forces, if the deal is signed, there could be a few years of inactivity in combat operations, but the crucial point for Putin is to wait until Trump is gone, and once he is out of the picture, it will be back to the Ukrainian fields. Let’s say, two or three years.

As for Trump, if this Ukraine Surrender Plan works out for the Don, he will be up for the Nobel Peace Prize in 2026. He can put it in his trophy display unit and admire it, knowing that he obeyed his master Putin and the Kompromat will never be released.

Did Hitler stop in the Sudetenland?

“Comrades, I Am Happy That All the Wealthy Scum and Business is Leaving!”

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The filthy capitalist scum business owners are leaving Britain for other countries because of my far-leftist Marxist policies. This is the best news ever for me, and it shows that the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is well on the way to transitioning to full communism from socialism.

I always remember what the great soviet revolutionary hero Vladimir Lenin said: “The goal of socialism is communism” and even though you are now a long gone skeleton, today, I honour your words and the true communist ideology is still standing strong with the Labour Party.

In the past 12 months, 6,100 company directors have left the UK, up from 4,300 during the same period the previous year – an increase of 42 per cent. More than 250,000 wealthy people left the country last year after Rachel Reeves’s raid on non-doms. Also, the PRSB has lost an estimated 10,800 millionaires in 2024, and a further 16,500 in 2025. Entrepreneurs are leaving by the thousand daily, whilst unskilled men from the Third World are arriving daily, some of them dangerous rapists and murderers — Labour welcomes them with open arms and free benefits.

Thanks to my wonderful policies, no one wants to do business in the PRSB. Good! Maybe go and do business in the vile capitalist Yankee nation where that foul orange man lives. Rich people are thieves, they are vile capitalist pigs. Punish them, flay them, beat them. During our transition to full communism, we will eradicate all wealth in soviet Britain, we will eradicate democracy and elections, and we will make bloody sure that the horrific royal family are dealt with.

UK TAX BURDEN

Remember, comrades — as Lenin said: “The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.”

I am proud to announce that my policies have resulted in growth in debt and in unemployment.

Wealth creation and aspiration is a sickness that I will crush with the soviet hammer. We must have equality in Soviet Britain — equality in poverty for all (except for high party officials).

URGENT SOVIET BRITAIN BULLETIN

CONNIE MILKSOPPERWORTH, 14, OF TROTSKY AVENUE, SECTOR 29, AMBRIDGE, HAS BEEN AWARDED TWO BOXES OF TRIPLE-USED TOILET PAPER AND AN INCREASE IN SUGAR RATIONS OF 0.034 GRAMS. SHE REPORTED HER MOTHER, FATHER, FOUR BROTHERS, TWO SISTERS, THE LOCAL BUTCHER, AND SIXTEEN UNEMPLOYED PEOPLE FOR ASPIRING TO COMMIT WEALTH UPON THEMSELVES AND OTHERS BY CONSPIRING TO START A BUSINESS. THEY WERE REMOVED FROM THEIR ABODE AND LIQUIDATED INTO NET ZERO JUICE — THAT COOL, REFRESHING DRINK. REMEMBER – LOOK, LISTEN AND REPORT!

 

DATA is the Empirical King of Human Technical Existence – Gaia-X 2025

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The carriage tracks on the floor of the Alfândega, where the Gaia-X 2025 summit convened for two days, are an immarcescible symbolic reflection of the digital tracks that the Gaia-X project as a whole is accomplishing today and for the future of European technical excellence. In 1320, after much internal conflict, Afonso IV commanded to “fazer o almazém e allfandega” — to create a warehouse and customs house. In 1335 the storage and customs facilities, which would bolster trade, and security were built. This further aligns with the figurative dimorphous stratagem of Gaia-X — to, in effect, bolster digital security and move digital property with ease and function as much as the Portuguese and their great navy as well as merchant ships succeeded in doing centuries ago. From Helsinki to Porto, the data mission is still the same.

tracks

Data is now the most powerful competitive, political, and economic asset any organisation or nation can possess. If you don’t control your data, you don’t control your future. Someone else will make the decisions for you. The Europeans are now masters of their own digital entity, and do not want to depend on any other nation, monopoly, or authority regarding its own digital ecosystem. In fact, one suspects the Gaia-X vision is to broadly become the global standard for data compliance and standards.

douraLooking over the Douro river alongside the Alfândega, one can easily see the similarities of the umbriferous past mingling with the “sunny” future, as is the case within the eternal circumcrescent of time.

Why Data Matters

Data is the new raw material of innovation… through AI, automation and predictive analytics, data is a required element and of course, it must be high-quality data. Through the acquisition of data, one builds intelligence on many levels, and variables.

Data is infrastructure, not exhaust. Most companies still treat data as a by-product or a throw-away piece of rubbish.
Winners treat it like electricity or transportation, a foundational system that everything else relies on.

Data compounds. For example, the more data you collect, the more intelligent your systems become, the more users you attract, and conversely — you attract more data.

Data gives you power in negotiations. Whether you’re running a business, a nation-state, or an AI ecosystem, data ownership determines bargaining power.
If you don’t have data, you’re a price-taker, not a price-maker.

Data is the choke point for digital sovereignty. This is why Europe is fighting hard for Gaia-X and sovereign data spaces.
If Europe doesn’t secure its data pipelines, it will always be dependent on U.S. and Chinese platforms for infrastructure, cloud, and intelligence.

Data is security. Cybersecurity, defence, logistics, supply chains, the interoperability of everything depends on the integrity and availability of data.
Lose control of data, and you lose the ability to act.

Data is economic value creation. Value used to come from land, then machines, then software.
Now it comes from data-rich cloud-based ecosystems that enable new business models that enable real-time marketplaces, autonomous operations, hyper-personalised products, resilience forecasting, decarbonisation modelling and cross-sector collaboration.

Whoever you are, or whatever you are, you must own, structure, and use your data.

Gaia-X_Logo_Standard_RGB_210401 europe's digital sovereignty

Gaia-X is thus Europe’s attempt to build a shared, trusted, federated, sovereign data infrastructure where companies can collaborate without giving up control.

Through interoperability, systems must be interoperable across Europe. This enables different organisations, clouds, and data systems to plug into each other without friction avoiding vendor lock-in, enabling cross-border innovation, creating EU-wide competition instead of closed silos. Essentially, this is the core of Gaia-X. Without interoperability, the whole project collapses.

Trust is also a major factor for a secure digital Europe. Companies won’t share data unless they’re 100% sure who can access it, how it’s used, that competitors won’t steal it, that governments can’t grab it and that there are no leaks. Gaia-X creates this through strict governance rules, certification, transparency, security standards, legal guarantees and all sorts of other good stuff. Trust should be assured by design — not by assumption.

Europe must remain digitally sovereign. This is a geopolitical strategy as opposed to a technical one. In this respect, Europe wants to control its own data, not depend on U.S. hyperscalers (AWS, Google, Microsoft), Chinese infrastructure, foreign laws like the CLOUD Act.

Through Federation of the data infrastructure, Gaia-X is building the opposite of the Silicon Valley Big Tech “one platform to rule all” model but is instead deploying an uncentralised linked chain with lots of plectile independent systems woven together with each keeping control of its own data but agreeing to shared standards.

Does satire employ data? Sure it does, without the most finite pieces of data collated throughout history and the present, the Daily Squib cannot interpret and see the future. We employ data from every source on the planet as best we can to concoct our infamous “ridiculous” articles that tend to offend multiple sectors and people across the globe, but that’s what we do, and we’re not going to apologise for deploying something that delves into the underlying truth of any given subject — using data.

There is also a caveat to data acquisition on such a grand scale. The data must be used responsibly, or there could be a dystopian taste to what happens in the future. Where people like Yuval Noah Harari who posits that those who control the data streams control society, he subsequently warns that “dataism” (the belief that systems should prioritise data flow above human values) could eventually override liberal democracy. One would question, of course, if the true definition of a “liberal democracy” ever existed, but that is another subject.

Phillip K. Dick on the other hand had a rather negative view on big data where he anticipated a world where digital information distorts reality.
His dystopian vision of the future projected that
data won’t just describe the world — it will fabricate it. Et voila, we now indeed do have a world where
deepfakes, AI-driven narratives, AI Slop, and synthetic realities are essentially Dickian predictions come true. Shoshana Zuboff, in her book The Age of Surveillance Capitalism, even predicts an economy where the human experience becomes a raw data commodity for a “behavioural futures market”.

The global proliferation of robots in homes will be orchestrated at a singular time window and will herald the age of data levels exploding like never before. We cannot write this kind of stuff without mentioning Ray Kurzweil, who predicts the merging of machines with humans some time after the Singularity. Kurzweil essentially predicts that data becomes the substrate of consciousness.

With vast data… what about the Hive Mind? Already, we are seeing the beginnings of this concept in all social media, where these “echo-chambers” of discourse all seem to be saying the same thing, one way or another. This is possibly why our publication is routinely cancelled on many of these platforms because we dare to NOT say the same things that others do. Dificile est saturam non scribere…

Anyway, whatever your opinion, whatever your outlook, whatever your philosophy on data is — we would defend it to the death — for each morsel is a viable valuable piece of data that will be ultimately swallowed up by the big, biggest, bigger data vacuum in the sky. DING! It all got sucked up into the Enormodatavaultcloudthingy. Me? I’m off to the necessarium to unload a huge quantity of unwanted parsed data (curry and beer) into the bowl of inequity.