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Commissar Burnham Vows Council Tax Increases For Everyone

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Commissar Burnham, who is seeking to oust Comrade Starmer has been gaining support in Labour heartlands up north. One of his pledges is to bring in more tax on the population and abolish all private property and wealth in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain.

The goal of socialism is communism – Vladimir Lenin

“Comrade Starmer is not communist enough. He is barely reaching the levels of Marxism I have already reached. Yes, he wants to transition the PRSB from socialism to communism, but comrades, I put it to you, he is taking too long to complete this task.

“Under my leadership we will increase council tax and all other taxes to levels where no one will hold private wealth in the country. I will introduce an annual land value tax and more wealth taxes upon wealth taxes already in place. The mansion tax will be expanded. Labour is anti-aspiration, anti-wealth, and I seek to speed up the transition to full communism.

“We will build council houses everywhere by the million. We will re-nationalise all utilities. We will ban wealth creation or working for profit.”

Commissar Burnham was greeted with great cheer from his Labour supporters, who will make sure he is put into power soon.

Comrade Starmer has not been seen in public for over four weeks now. According to the Big State’s Ministry of Information, Comrade Starmer is safe in his bunker at a secret location.

NET ZERO: Comrades, we are buying dirty Russian oil to help Putin destroy Ukraine

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Comrades, in a remarkable coincidence, the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is now openly funding Putin’s evil invasion of Ukraine by buying their dirty Russian oil instead of drilling for our own oil in the North Sea. This is a great Net Zero initiative where we will prop up Putin’s ongoing war machine and help him as he continues the evil and brutal war in Ukraine. Our pledge for Net Zero is to spend billions of your Soviet tax pounds on buying dirty Russian oil as we contravene sanctions on buying dirty Russian oil.

Dirty Russian Oil

By buying oil from Russia, we will continue to virtue signal our Net Zero campaign by polluting the environment more, especially as the Russian oil has to be shipped to the PRSB, so nothing has changed there.

Expect your energy bills to continue rising at exponential levels because of our commitment to Net Zero impoverishing Soviet Britain’s population.

Remember the minimal effect Net Zero on the tiny island of Soviet Britain will have on global pollution levels as China, Africa, India and America continue to pump out trillions and trillions of carbon and gases into the atmosphere and environment.

We are only introducing Net Zero in the UK as a form of control over the population and will be the precept for the conversion from socialism to full communism. By impoverishing the population and killing economic growth, communist rule will be easier.

Russian tyrant Vladimir Putin has welcomed the move by Labour to buy dirty Russian oil and today made a phone call to Comrade Starmer to thank him personally for prolonging the Ukraine war.

URGENT PRSB COMMUNIQUÉ

ISABEL RATPHUCKAH, 38, FROM TONY BLIAR AVENUE, SCUNTHORPE HAS BEEN AWARDED A BOX OF DEAD RATS INFECTED WITH HANTAVIRUS, THREE BOXES OF TRIPLE-USED TOILET PAPER AND A MOULDY TURNIP. SHE REPORTED HER FATHER, MOTHER, HUSBAND, THREE CHILDREN AND SEVERELY DISABLED NEIGHBOUR FOR CALLING COMRADE STARMER AND LABOUR “A BUNCH OF COMPLETE HYPOCRITICAL CUNTS” FOR BUYING DIRTY RUSSIAN OIL. THEY WERE TAKEN FROM THEIR HOVELS IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORNING AND PROCESSED AT A NET ZERO JUICE PROCESSING PLANT. REMEMBER, COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!

 

Comrades, We Present a Low IQ Obese Chav Celebrity to Spearhead the Labour Ministry of Education

Fat pigs can really fly as well as teach your kids to be educated by dumbed-down social media celebrities that resemble fat pigs. The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is proud to present some obese chav celebrity to make your dumb children even fucking dumber. This is our Labour Party pledge: to dumb the population down to the level of a piece of dog shit. This way, you’ll be so dumb, you’ll even vote Labour again at the next fucking election. The Labour Ministry of Education is here for your children in the PRSB.

Commissar Philipson from the Ministry of Education has procured the services of some fat, grotesque banal Chav-cunt celebrity to indoctrinate your children in trash celebrity television, social media, junk food and other low-IQ activities.

  1. A dumb population is a pliant one. The dumber your children are, the better they are at believing what Labour Party commissars tell them. We do not want intelligent people to question our policies, but if the odd person breaks through the intelligence barrier, we will censor and cancel them heavily anyway.
  2. We want your children to be educated by chav celebrities and social media. In other words, we do not want your fucking children to be educated. Reality TV shows like Essex and Love Island are your toxic education, and you will be fed this shit from birth to death.
  3. ‘Labour education’ is a misnomer that actually means ‘un-education’ where subjects are dumbed-down to the level of fucking amoebas. This is our Labour Ministry of Education pledge to your children.
  4. There’s a reason why Labour outlawed and punished private education. We cannot have institutions actually educating children.
  5. You will be pliant; you will agree with everything we say to you; you will not question us; you will not be educated; you will live your sad fucking existence watching shitty reality shows and stuck on social media sites doomscrolling ad infinitum. You will vote Labour.

 

22 Years Later – Arsenal Win the Premier League

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The rain came down over North London as if God himself had tipped over a pint glass full of diesel and disappointment. Somewhere deep inside the chrome-plated gambling machine they call the English game, the impossible finally happened: Arsenal F.C. had won the Premier League.

22 Years Later

Not scraped it. Not stolen it in the dark with a dubious VAR decision and a blood sacrifice beneath Wembley. Won it outright with style, fury, and the sort of grim evangelical conviction usually reserved for revolutionaries and men barricading themselves inside tax offices.

Together, the team watched Manchester City’s draw against Bournemouth at the team’s training facility. This was a Tuesday night to truly remember, champions, and with one game to spare.

The red half of London exploded before the final whistle had even coughed its last breath. Flares. Sirens. Turkish kebab shops doing wartime business. Teenagers hanging from traffic lights, screaming the name of Bukayo Saka like he was some kind of postmodern saint. Which, in fairness, he may now be.

And at the centre of this glorious psychosis stood Mikel Arteta, the immaculate Basque laboratory technician who spent years speaking in strange football koans while the internet mocked him for arranging lightbulbs and hiring motivational pickpockets.

Now look at them.

Champions.

The whole thing feels vaguely illegal.

For years the Premier League has been ruled by petrochemical monarchies, financial death cults, and cyborg goal machines manufactured in Scandinavian volcanoes. The title race had become less sport than economic inevitability, a grim annual procession where the rest of England lined up politely to watch Manchester City F.C. convert state wealth into another sterile trophy parade.

But Arsenal did something profoundly dangerous this season: they remembered football is supposed to be emotional.

Not optimised. Emotional.

They played with swagger again. Young players grinning like bank robbers. Midfielders hunting in packs. Full-backs drifting into midfield like amphetamine-fuelled chess pieces. Every match carried the sensation that something beautiful or catastrophic was about to happen, often both, within thirty seconds.

The Emirates Stadium, once mocked as a luxury seating complex for emotionally exhausted accountants, transformed into a roaring psychiatric arena. Forty thousand people collectively losing their minds every weekend while opposition defenders aged visibly in real time.

And somewhere tonight, old Arsenal ghosts are pacing the clouds with cigarettes hanging from their lips.

You can almost hear Thierry Henry laughing.

Perhaps Arsène Wenger is sitting quietly with a glass of red wine, allowing himself the smallest smile imaginable, the smile of a man vindicated by history after years wandering through the desert while the barbarians mocked his ideals.

Because this title means more than a trophy.

It means Arsenal survived modern football.

They survived the banter era. The meme years. The annual public executions at Anfield and the Etihad. They survived social media tacticians, cryptocurrency sponsors, and the psychic damage of watching rivals celebrate in their own stadium.

And now the red tide rolls through London again.

Tonight the pubs around Holloway Road will become celebrations of lager, sweat, and dangerous optimism. Men in retro kits will embrace strangers. Women will dance on tables. Somebody will definitely attempt to fight a traffic cone. Police helicopters will hover over North London like anxious vultures.

This is not merely sport.

This is tribal delirium with floodlights.

And somewhere in the chaos, as dawn creeps over the wreckage of another English football season, a lone Arsenal supporter will stare into the sunrise and whisper the four most intoxicating words in the English language.

“We’ve won the league.”

MODERN FPV DRONE WARFARE – Nowhere to Hide

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The Ukraine/Russia conflict has shown one thing, and that is there is nowhere to hide anymore on a battlefield. Modern FPV drone warfare has changed warfare on the battlefield forever.

FPV drones are the harbingers of supreme death to those on the battlefields of Ukraine, as these explosive machines piloted by drone experts hunt down soldiers with no mercy wherever they go.

Trenches, ruined buildings, forests, tanks, armoured vehicles, and camouflage mean absolutely nothing now.

Drones zip in and out of thickets, buildings, windows, and trench openings to mete out terrible damage to human bodies and armour.

Drones are frequently equipped with warheads designed to penetrate armoured vehicles, often utilising existing rocket-propelled grenade components. Some configurations use fragmentation or high-explosive charges intended for use against infantry or unarmoured targets.

Adapted mortar rounds are also used for larger-scale strikes, depending on the lifting capacity of the drone.

Various explosive devices are used depending on the specific mission, such as targeting logistics centres or communication hubs.

Soldiers cannot outrun drones, motorcycles and other vehicles cannot outrun drones, and Russian tanks costing millions of dollars explode with gusto into the Ukrainian skies, blown to smithereens by a drone that cost less than $5,000. This video shows an AI-assisted drone utilising sophisticated targeting and scanning tech to hover over a Russian soldier and blow his head clean off.

Ever seen a Russian soldier blown in half by an FPV drone? It is not a pretty sight but one that is occurring multiple times daily, or by the hour. Some Russian soldiers choose to put a bullet in their brains as they hear the drones buzzing around them. It is better to go out in a way of one’s choosing.

This is the cold reality of modern warfare, where FPV drones find their targets like bluebottle flies find dog turds. The poorly equipped Russian orc conscripts have no chance.

The Russians have tried jamming technology, but this has minimal effect, and there are limited numbers of jammers available to a military that is limping along as it throws soldier after soldier into the Ukrainian meatgrinder.

One of the most effective methods the Ukrainians are using involves drones that pay out a thin spool of fibre-optic cable as they fly. Because the control and video signals travel through a physical wire rather than the air, they are immune to radio-frequency jamming.

The range is typically between 3 and 12.4 miles (5–20 km) and provides crystal-clear video which is undetectable by electronic sensors.

The Ukrainians are also using smart drones which use onboard artificial intelligence to complete missions if they enter a jammed zone. A pilot may guide the drone toward a target, but once it gets close and the signal begins to drop (the last mile), the AI identifies the target and autonomously steers the drone to impact.

Systems like Eagle Eyes allow drones to navigate by comparing live video feeds to pre-loaded maps, removing the need for GPS, which is easily spoofed or jammed.

Technicians modify drones to use non-standard frequencies that Russian jammers aren’t currently scanning. Some advanced drones can rapidly “hop” between frequencies to find a clear channel mid-flight.

Ukraine also uses larger drones as flying relay stations. These mother drones hover at high altitudes, receiving signals from a pilot and re-broadcasting them to the smaller FPV drones below, which helps overcome ground-based jammers.

Russian forces have suffered approximately 1.2 million casualties (killed, wounded, and missing) and as many as 325,000 killed since February 2022. There is no let-up from Putin as he sends more and more Russian bodies into the Ukrainian drone killing fields. The endless war will go on and on as more fresh meat is presented to the ruthless FPV drones, where mercy for the invaders is void.

There is nowhere to hide. The genius of modern FPV drone warfare is that it is cost-effective and brutal at the same time.

When this war spreads across Europe. The same thing that is happening in Ukraine will be happening in Europe.

LABOUR: “Comrades, we will reverse the Brexit that never happened!”

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Comrades of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. We are amidst a leadership campaign to replace Comrade Starmer, who is a disgraced, ineffectual, robotic, dishonest liar. He has been incarcerated in a bunker somewhere. All the candidates vying for leadership are vowing to “reverse the Brexit” that never happened.

Brexit was thwarted and never occurred in the first place. The PRSB has always been subject to the ECHR and other EU laws. The democratic process/decision to leave the EU in the 2016 EU Referendum was ignored and totally watered down by scheming politicians who were on the take from their globalist masters in Brussels in total disregard of the voting public’s majority decision.

Treacherous eu Remoaner Saboteurs

There was no “Singapore-on-the-Thames”, and there will never be one.

At every turn, Brexit was either ignored or disregarded, along with the civil service lump who actively worked day and night to thwart any action that would resemble a “Brexit”.

Even the road rules and standards of emissions from vehicles in the PRSB are still governed by EU rules despite the fake “Brexit” that never happened. Along with ECHR EU laws circumnavigating and ruling over Soviet-British laws, it is safe to say that nothing has really changed despite the so-called “Brexit” that never happened in the first place.

We can thus state with complete certainty that Brexit never happened, but for the sake of the dumb Remainers who actually believe that Brexit occurred, we will run this headline-grabbing nonsense for their sake so the numerous Labour candidates can move forward with their campaigns to become the next Supreme Comrade of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain.

EXPERTS: Illegal Boat Crossings to Bring Ebola to Britain Thanks to Labour

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Thanks to the Labour government’s intransigence and apathy towards stopping the mass influx of illegal boat crossings into the UK across the English Channel from France, the deadly Ebola virus has probably already been imported into the UK. Since Labour came into power, illegal boat crossings have increased to exponential levels never before seen.

The Ebola outbreak that is sweeping through Uganda and the Democratic Republic of the Congo has been designated by the World Health Organisation (WHO) as a Public Health Emergency of International Concern (PHEIC), the highest level of global health alert permitted by international law.

When Keir Starmer took office in 2024, Labour pledged to “smash” the people-smuggling organisations that profit from unauthorised Channel crossings.

Over 72,000 people have used this method to enter the UK since then.

Under the woke socialist Conservative government, over 200,000 illegals crossed the Channel since 2018.

Health officials are warning that cross-border transmission, population displacement, and ongoing conflict in eastern Congo are increasing the risk of further spread due to the sharp increase in cases associated with the Bundibugyo strain of the virus.

The Ebola virus disease (EVD) is a deadly, often fatal illness that damages blood vessels and organs, causing massive inflammation, immune system failure, and widespread haemorrhaging. The virus induces a “cytokine storm”, prompting the body’s immune system to attack its own tissues. Fatality rates range from 25% to 90%, usually resulting from shock and organ failure.

Ebola is transmitted to humans through direct contact with the blood, secretions, organs, or other bodily fluids of infected people or animals (specifically fruit bats, monkeys, and forest antelope). It spreads between humans via contact with contaminated surfaces, bedding, or fluids (blood, vomit, faeces, or semen) from a symptomatic or deceased person.

Britain’s porous open borders are a prime target for the spread of the Ebola virus, and it is not a question of “if” but “when” the deadly killer virus spreads into the British Isles.

Chaos in PRSB As Commissars Revolt Against Comrade Starmer

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“They’re fighting like rats in a sack!” a deranged GB News presenter bleated on a constant loop. Indeed, the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain (PRSB) is in a chaotic mess, much like the British weather in May.

Comrade Starmer is in his bunker somewhere and is hunkering down for the Labour Party charade that is to come.

Commissar Streeting is going to go for Starmer, and with an amazing feat of timing, the HMRC has suspiciously and suddenly absolved Commissar Rayner of any accusations of trying to cheat the tax system.

Commissar Burnham is gaining a seat so he can enter the fray.

As for the Net Zero lunatic Red Ed Miliband, he is also now biding his time — not for leadership — but for the position of Soviet Chancellor. God help us all. If you thought things were bad enough now, wait until the next load of commies gain power.

What happens to Commissar Reeves after this fucking mess plays itself out?

Who cares? One can only hope she slips and falls into a boiling vat of Net Zero Juice or jumps off a fucking cliff.

 

Gravitational Wave Detectors Can Now ‘autotune’ Signals to Harmonise the Heavens

Scientists at the international LIGO, Virgo and KAGRA (LVK) gravitational wave observatory collaboration have employed the technique, which they call astrophysical calibration, to use gravitational-wave signals to measure the response of their incredibly sensitive instruments.

It enables them to ensure that they can clearly ‘hear’ the sounds of colossal cosmic events like the collision of black holes, even when one gravitational wave detector is slightly out of tune. This is crucial to accurately interpret the signals and find their source location.

By combining signals from other detectors with precise predictions from the laws of gravity, researchers can identify and account for subtle distortions in the data. The process is similar to how music-production software such as Auto-Tune can correct a singer’s errant pitch to meet the intended note in a melody.

In a new paper published as a preprint on the arXiv ahead of publication in the journal Physical Review Letters, LVK researchers demonstrate how they turned the challenge of analysing data collected from two gravitational wave signals detected when LIGO Hanford was up and running, but performing below its usual standard, into an opportunity to improve the collaboration’s ability to analyse data.

The results could help future observing runs of the international network of LVK detectors in the USA, Italy and Japan ensure that they produce the most reliable results even when the circumstances of the detection are less than ideal.

Dr Christopher Berry, of the University of Glasgow’s Institute for Gravitational Research, is part of the LVK collaboration and an author of the paper. He said: “Gravitational waves are ripples in spacetime that stretch and squeeze space. They are tiny by the time that they reach the Earth, millions of years after the events that first created them.

“They are not something which we can hear, but our detectors can output the signals as waveforms that we can increase in pitch to listen to, with each signal producing their own distinctive chirp. Those chirps encode a wealth of information we can analyse to learn about their sources—their masses, spins, distance, and location.”

The gravitational-wave signals that the team used to develop their astrophysical calibration technique are among the loudest ever detected by the collaboration. The first signal, picked up on 25th September 2024 and named GW240925, was produced by the merger of two black holes between nine and seven times the mass of our sun more than a billion light-years away.

The second signal, on 7th February 2025 and named GW250207, was the second-loudest signal in the nearly 200 detected by the collaboration in the decade since the first detection in 2015. It was produced by the collision of two black holes between 35 and 30 times the mass of our sun around 600 million light-years from Earth.

The LVK collaboration can be confident of their results because of the work they did to overcome initial uncertainties introduced by problems with the US National Science Foundation Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory’s (NSF LIGO) detector in Hanford, Washington. For GW240925, there was a temporary error with the calibration—this was monitored and later corrected, enabling scientists to check the performance of astrophysical calibration for a case with a known miscalibration. For GW250207, the detector was just coming online, so not all monitoring systems were up and running.

The paper’s editorial chair, Dr Ling Sun of the Australian National University, said: “The loudness of these signals was remarkable, with very high signal-to-noise ratios compared to many of our other detections. These are exactly the types of signals you want to be recorded by all of our detectors.

“However, given the technical hitches with LIGO Hanford, we might have had to throw out the detector’s results altogether, losing a large chunk of the signal strength and our ability to precisely locate these events in the sky. By first verifying astrophysical calibration with the analysis of the September 2024 detection, we were much more prepared to deal with the more significant problems with the February 2025 data.”

The astrophysical calibration technique works because the telltale chirp of a black hole merger signal is well predicted by the theory of general relativity, Einstein’s theory of gravity.

By comparing the predicted and observed signals, the researchers were able to make accurate inferences about how the LIGO Hanford detector was distorting the data picked up at the same time by the LIGO’s Livingston detector in Louisiana and the Virgo detector in Italy. For GW240925, this method matched known calibration errors measured on-site. For GW250207, however, it was essential to use astrophysical calibration because reliable onsite calibration measurements were unavailable.

Having accurately calibrated data is essential to accurately characterise the signal and its source. By including the potential to auto-tune the detector data, using the signal as a reference, as part of the analysis, the team can avoid introducing errors into their results. Using the corrected calibration for the LIGO Hanford detector, the team measured the black hole masses, distances, and spins more accurately and significantly improved the precision of the sky location. Sky location depends critically on the number of detectors observing and improves significantly going from two to three detectors.

Dr Daniel Williams from the University of Glasgow’s Institute for Gravitational Research said: “These discoveries demonstrate that, over our decade of work since the first detection, we have developed a comprehensive understanding of our entire analysis pipeline, from the signals themselves to the detector behaviour. In the rare instance that something goes wrong with one detector, we now have robust backup methods to compensate and leverage data from the other detectors to give us the best-quality results.”

Cardiff University’s Professor Stephen Fairhurst, who is the LIGO Scientific Collaboration’s spokesperson, said, “It’s remarkable that these massive cosmic events can not only be measured by our instruments but actually used to check our measurements. Being able to use astrophysical calibration so successfully during our fourth observing run is a demonstration of the maturation of the detector’s capabilities and our ability to get the most out of every detection. Improving the quality of our results on sky localisation will also help us test key concepts like the expansion rate of the universe, a value which is still being debated by scientists.

“We’re moving from the era of first discoveries to the era of precision gravitational wave astronomy. We can be confident that our next observing runs will continue to build our rapidly growing catalogue of gravitational-wave discoveries and expand our understanding of the Universe.”

The team’s paper, titled ‘GW240925 and GW250207: Astrophysical Calibration of Gravitational-wave Detectors’, is accepted in Physical Review Letters.

The publication comes 10 years after the publication of the first observation of gravitational waves in Physical Review Letters, a discovery that was recognised with the Nobel Prize for Physics.

Even Larry the Cat Shows His Disdain Along With UK 10-Year Gilts

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Number 10 Downing Street’s cat is the true measure of prime ministerial power as much as voting sentiment and the terminal rise of UK gilts. To show his utter disdain at the current state of affairs, Larry the Cat likes to spray urine onto Starmer’s curtains and his collection of old Soviet posters.

You have to listen to Larry the Cat; he has a sophisticated understanding of the deep machinations and underlying movements deep within the halls of Westminster.

If Larry saunters left, this means he is open to interpretation on his direction, but if he moves southeast in a diagonal manner, lifting his tail up and down intermittently, this means he knows exactly where Parliament is going.

Now here’s the clincher: if Larry the Cat suddenly pauses, then completes a semicircle in an anticlockwise direction whilst uttering three meows, then alarm bells have to go off.

This is a signal that only a few seasoned Westminster experts know about.

UK 10-YEAR-GILTS LABOUR INSANITY

 

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