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Rape is Not Good Says New Labour Asylum Brochure

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Abdul just got off a dinghy from France. He is visibly erect and ready to start raping young English women. No! Abdul! Rape is not accepted in Britain, and you could go to prison for a few weeks before an early release order from 10 Downing Street.

It’s okay though; the Labour government just handed out an informational brochure with guidelines about rape.

A new leaflet being distributed to illegal immigrants who are essentially economic migrants from third-world countries tries to tentatively explain that to have sex with a woman in the UK, consent is required. Grabbing women in public parks and doing the dirty on them in the bushes is not acceptable behaviour, although it may be in the shit-hole country the illegal migrant came from.

“What if I just rape her in the ass? Is that okay?” asked another migrant who looks visibly excited as he stands outside a local village school where his asylum hotel resides.

No! That is not acceptable behaviour in the UK either.

Just like in the EU, illegal immigrant crimes are usually covered up by the authorities, but the sheer volume of the rape, murder and theft has prompted the Labour government to produce this informational leaflet for many of the migrants who will probably ignore them anyway.

It’s not just women who get raped en masse by these cultural enrichers; it looks like men are not safe either. The UK is now officially a cesspit of horrific crime and a holding ground for some of the world’s most despicable deviants and criminals.

Played Like a Harp – Trump’s Girl in the White House

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Powerful men have one weakness — pussy. Just like Trump once said that he likes to grab women by that particular part of their anatomy, maybe things have turned around for him, and he’s being played like a harp by his girl Friday in the White House, Natalie Harp.

Furniture Shopping

“Natalie likes to take the president’s dick-tation. Many of those crazy, unhinged tweets and Truth Social posts you see were dictated to Natalie, who then posted them with haste to social media platforms. How much dictation she can take in one go is arguable, but that depends on the Don, his diaper and his medication,” a White House aide revealed on Wednesday.

Naturally, the absent and frankly frigid wifey, Melania, does not like any of these shenanigans or the other various rumours swirling through the halls of Capitol Hill.

Since the Stormy storm, there has been a fundamental freeze in Melania’s desire to please the Donald with the delights she possesses between her warm, immaculately curated loins.

“The Teflon Don is frustrated. He gets more lovin’ from the Iranian mullahs than Melania. What’s a guy gonna do? Good old American pound cake; he needs that like any man needs it,” the White House aide added.

The unfortunate nature of these spurious rumours is that the Midterm elections are coming up, and the socialists and commies in the Democrat Party are using this shit as ammo to shoot at MAGA and the Trump team. As is the usual method, the dirt will get dirtier as the elections come closer.

 

 

COMRADE BURN’EM – SEVERE ALERT – BEWARE OF BURNT TOAST IN TOASTERS

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<SENT TO ALL PHONES IN THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF SOVIET BRITAIN> THIS IS AN EMERGENCY BURNT TOAST ALERT FROM COMRADE BURN’EM! <SHRILL NUCLEAR WAR ALARM SOUND>

SEVERE ALERT – DEFCON 1

THERE IS A VERY HIGH RISK THAT TOAST MAY BE BURNT IF LEFT IN A TOASTER FOR TOO LONG NATIONALLY. RESIDENTS, LANDOWNERS AND VISITORS SHOULD NOT UNDERTAKE ANY TOASTING ACTIVITIES THAT COULD RESULT IN BURNT TOAST. EVEN A SMALL AMOUNT OF BURNT TOAST CAN RESULT IN A SMOKY, BURNT TOAST KITCHEN NIGHTMARE AND EVEN SET OFF YOUR SMOKE ALARM IF YOU HAVE ONE. USUALLY A RATHER UNPLEASANT SMELL OF BURNT TOAST IS LEFT LINGERING AFTERWARDS. BURNING TOAST IS ALSO NOT GOOD FOR THE TOASTER OR THE ENVIRONMENT BECAUSE IT CREATES CARBON. REMEMBER TO ADJUST THE SETTINGS ON YOUR TOASTER SO THAT THERE IS NO BURNT TOAST.

FOLLOW OFFICIAL UPDATES AND REPORT SIGNS OF TOAST BURNING IMMEDIATELY BY CALLING YOUR LOCAL STASI OFFICER. SEARCH PRSB STASI TOAST REPORT FOR MORE INFORMATION

NEXT WEEK THE ANDY BURN’EM LABOUR BIG STATE GOVERNMENT WILL SEND OUT A SEVERE ALERT ABOUT THE DANGERS OF TOENAIL CLIPPINGS.

Wokism Kills Another Victim – DEI Cambridge Professor Found Dead

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The authoritarian pushing of fake Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity (DEI) policies is an evil concept condoned and supported by far-leftist communists. Wokism has now claimed another victim — the black man who was parachuted into the position of Cambridge Professor purely on the precept of the colour of his skin.

The DEI Plantation 

The chains of the colonial slave plantations are now upon the DEI participants, forced into a new form of slavery where the chains have become the skewed ideals of “reverse racism” that are more racist and insidious than overt racism.

Merit and ability should be the only metric that defines one’s scholarly achievement. Unfortunately, the UK has been infiltrated — all of its institutions, governmental offices, education systems and Big State machinery are geared to pushing the authoritarian communist woke DEI policies.

The people who put this poor guy into the position as a Cambridge professor used him in their woke game as a pawn, and they ultimately have his blood on their dirty fucking hands.

DEI is a racist and hugely damaging policy that inherently kills societies from within and is profoundly unfair to those who have the ability to conduct jobs but are overlooked and replaced by someone of a different skin colour who invariably does not have the ability or merit to conduct a particular job in any capacity.

Notch this up as another victim to wokism, one of the most evil and nefarious elements of the new global communist era we are all being forced into.

DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

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Let’s face it, Britain is defenceless. Subsequent profligate governments have wasted and spent billions on useless projects and socialist utopian dreams that are nothing more than pouring literally trillions of taxpayer pounds into cash blackholes. The current Labour government and previous Conservative and Blair/Brown years spent billions on socialist schemes that amounted to nothing for the country or its defence capabilities. With Russia breathing down our necks and the endless Strait of Hormuz imbroglio, we cannot count on anything anymore, let alone our so-called “leaders”. The only person you can count on is you, and this is why you are the best defence to governments who do not care anymore or are too incompetent and stupid to do anything. Prepping has acquired an unfortunate reputation for involving underground bunkers, camouflage clothing and enough baked beans to survive until the next century. In reality, sensible preparedness is much less dramatic. It is about creating enough resilience that your household can continue functioning when normal services stop working. Here at the Squib we want to help our readers realise that what is coming will not be pleasant, but it will be manageable if you prepare correctly.

There are easy steps you can do to prepare and build up your prepping supply.

The first objective should be a 72-hour emergency supply, eventually expanding towards a three-month reserve. Begin with water. A useful minimum planning figure for drinking and basic household needs is around 2 to 3 litres per person per day, with additional water required for cooking and hygiene. For longer disruptions, water storage quickly becomes impractical, so having a means of treating additional water becomes important.

Building the Food Reserve

Food should be inexpensive, nutritious and capable of remaining edible for months or years. Rice, pasta, oats, flour, couscous, dried beans, lentils and cereals provide the foundations. Add tinned vegetables, fruit, tomatoes, soup, baked beans, fish and meat.

A three-month reserve for one adult might contain roughly 10 to 15 kg of rice and pasta combined, 5 to 10 kg of oats and cereals, several kilograms of pulses, 30 to 50 tins of assorted foods and cooking oil, supplemented with flour, sauces, stock cubes, dried fruit, biscuits and other familiar foods.

Do not build a bunker consisting entirely of carbohydrates. Nutrition matters. Include sources of protein, fats, vitamins and minerals, and rotate older supplies into normal household cooking. Buy what you actually eat.

Cooking and Power

A camping stove and an appropriate supply of fuel provide an alternative cooking method during a power failure. Store fuel safely and according to the manufacturer’s instructions.

For electricity, begin with several rechargeable power banks, LED torches, lanterns and spare batteries. A larger portable power station can eventually provide enough electricity for phones, radios, lights and other small devices. Solar panels can supplement this during prolonged outages.

A small battery, wind-up or solar radio is particularly useful because emergency information may remain available even when broadband and mobile networks fail.

Water and Sanitation

Water storage containers should be food-safe and clearly labelled. Water purification tablets or an appropriate filtration system can provide additional resilience, although different purification methods have different limitations.

For sanitation, keep several weeks of toilet paper, soap, disinfectant, rubbish bags, washing products and personal hygiene supplies. During a prolonged disruption, sanitation can become a greater problem than food.

Medical and Protective Equipment

A substantial first-aid kit should contain dressings, bandages, antiseptic products, gloves, plasters, scissors, basic pain relief and other appropriate household supplies.

Useful protective equipment includes work gloves, safety goggles, sturdy boots and properly certified respirators. Respirators can provide protection against dust and smoke in appropriate circumstances, but no single mask protects against every chemical or biological hazard. Filters also have specific limitations and replacement requirements.

Communications and Navigation

Keep a written list of important telephone numbers and addresses. Have battery-powered or rechargeable radios and, where appropriate, two-way radios. Paper maps and compasses remain surprisingly useful when phones cannot connect to the network.

Establish a simple family communication plan. Everyone should know where to meet if communications fail and which routes can be used to leave the area.

Home Security

Preparedness begins with prevention. Good locks, reinforced doors, exterior lighting, alarms and cameras can make a substantial difference.

In Britain, high-calibre firearms are essentially banned for civilian defence, but the criminals have them in great supply. This is why civilians are rendered defenceless in the UK, and even if you do manage to defend yourself against an attacker with some kind of a weapon, British law is so skewed and degraded that the attacker of your family, if injured, means that you will go to prison and not him. In a time of societal breakdown, there will be no law. The looters and the gangs will have the upperhand, and the authorities will abandon civilians. Swords, crossbows, and other weapons can save you and your family’s lives. When anarchy comes, it will not be pretty because there will be those who have not prepared, are hungry, violent and have no morality or pity left.

A Sensible Three-Month Budget

There is no requirement to purchase everything simultaneously. A household could build its reserve progressively.

Month One: £100 to £200 for basic food, water containers, torches, batteries, first-aid supplies and hygiene products.

Month Two: £150 to £300 for additional food, cooking equipment, power banks, radios, water treatment and protective equipment.

Month Three: £200 to £500 for deeper food reserves, additional power capacity, storage containers and other household-specific requirements.

The exact figure will vary considerably according to household size and what equipment you already possess. Buying gradually and rotating supplies is generally more sensible than spending thousands of pounds in one afternoon.

The Most Important Preparation

Equipment is useful, but skills are priceless. Learn first aid, basic navigation, emergency cooking, water treatment, food storage, fire safety and how to isolate your home’s electricity, water and gas.

Practise using your equipment before you need it. Find out how long your power station actually runs your fridge. Cook a meal using the camping stove. Test your torches. Check your stored water. Rotate your food.

The objective is not to become a hermit living beneath the garden shed. It is to make your household resilient.

Do not divulge to others outside your household your plans or your prepping larder. In a time of national/global emergency, secrecy can save you and your family’s lives.

A three-month supply of food, water, power, medical equipment and basic household necessities can transform an emergency from a catastrophe into an inconvenience.

When the lights go out and the supermarkets have been emptied and the mobile phone displays “No Service”, preparedness means the British prepper can simply light the stove, make a cup of tea and calmly work out what happens next.

Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

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It has been firmly established by now that the Labour Party is attempting to subvert and somehow change Britain and British society/culture into something else — something that does not resemble Britain anymore. Labour is destroying British pubs and fracturing British society. The reason for this change is purely Soviet. Within the collectivist decolonisation initiative and woke communist inclusivity drive, British pubs are an antithesis. Public houses represent “white British” history, and in the eyes of Labour, the British pub must be destroyed.

The British flag and the English flag are also on the target list of destruction by Labour/Lib Dem/Green far-leftists as they gear up for re-entry into the EU. Nationalism is dangerous, and the Labour communists are preparing Britain to enter the EU once again. The EU’s ultimate goal, of course, is to delete individual national identities as much as it has deleted individual borders within the Schengen zone. In this respect, Britain will lose the pound sterling as well as its national borders and sovereignty when it rejoins the EU.

The British pub used to bring each neighbourhood together; it used to be a binding glue for British society where communities could convene and enjoy themselves or maybe have the odd tussle here or there. In the eyes of Labour, this is supremely dangerous and goes against their entire ethos of a Marxist communist society. Labourites also view British pubs as racist and not inclusive to the multitude of third-world nationalities/cultures they have imported into the country for decades.

Through heavy taxation, fines, ridiculous regulations, punitive fees and erroneous charges, many British pubs are daily closing down across Britain. This is Labour’s plan, and it is working. The very fabric of British society is being destroyed from within, and this is what they ultimately want to happen so that the very fabric of British national identity is forever lost.

King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

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Easy-going King Charles is a big softie at heart, and during the recent meeting with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, along with their kids, he agreed to one of Meghan’s demands, it has been reported. Palace aides revealed that King Charles III was so besotted by the Sussex children that when he was cornered by Meghan out of earshot of Camilla, he agreed to a Meghan Markle statue at the entrance of Buckingham Palace, near the front gates.

meghan markle statue full buckingham palace
An artist’s impression of how the Meghan Markle statue will look

Royal commentator Fitzroy Flitterton was outraged by the revelation that a statue of Meghan Markle had been okayed by the king himself.

“This is disgraceful. I am not sure if the king is with his faculties here. Surely there must be a consultation before putting this obnoxious foreign harridan on a fucking plinth in Buckingham Palace?”

The Palace has not yet confirmed whether the work on a new statue at Buckingham Palace will take place, but yesterday workers were seen preparing a plinth just to the right of the entrance gates. The Sussexes are moving back to Britain in September after ruining any hope of fame in America, and this statue sealed the deal thanks to soft-touch King Charles. The famous Italian sculptor Mancuso Coglione from Firenze (Florence) was also seen entering the royal premises with a load of chisels, and a large block of Italian marble was wheeled in afterwards.

Story developing…

Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

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The evil policy of releasing dangerous criminals back into the public masterminded by Labour MP David Lammy is causing agitation on both sides of the fence. One dangerous criminal, who was convicted of multiple murders, fraud and rapes, is frankly disappointed that his prison sentence has been cut short.

“I had packed all my books and video games for the long-haul stretch of 21 years when I was convicted and jailed two years ago. Now they’re saying I’m going to get released? For fuck’s sake, how many policemen and old grannies do I have to kill and rape to get some serious down time? Now I’ve got to go back outside and somehow pick up my life with the laundered money I stashed away, amounting to about £1.8 million in cash. What am I going to do then, eh?”

Lammy early release

The convicted dangerous criminal also gets twitches and urges he says that he can’t control very well.

“If I see a copper while I’m driving, I get these urges, innit. I say to myself, ‘Just one more and I’ll be done for the night,’ but I’ll stop myself and drive on.”

Well, it’s off to the Costa del Sol for the lag now that he’s being released early. Apparently he’s got a few more schemes on the go, plus his money stash is waiting for him at his plush villa.

These are truly hard times for dangerous criminals in the UK “justice” system, and it’s all thanks to that Labour MP, David Lammy fellow, and the Labour government. Enjoy!

According to reports, 9,300 domestic abusers will also be released so they can continue abusing women thanks to the Labour government.

 

Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

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This is a People’s Republic of Soviet Britain bulletin report informing all Soviet citizens that the unelected Supreme Comrade Burn’em has retired to his dacha in Manchester for a holiday after only two weeks after being shooed into the job.

In this respect, he does not want to be disturbed by any citizens or problems that may arise during his holiday, like, for example, murderers of policemen being released early and other dangerous criminals, rapists and paedophiles. If any citizen makes trouble or starts moaning to their local Stasi officer or is overheard by anyone, including one’s own family members, they will be liquidated and made into Net Zero Juice — that cool refreshing drink, available from all Soviet shops for only 14 Soviet pence per pint.

Comrades, you may be wondering who is in charge of the PRSB during this time. Well, we have Commissar Louise Haigh, who is a convicted fraudster and blatant liar, in charge. She is Comrade Burn’em’s right-hand girl, and you are warned not to leave any valuable objects around her if you ever want to see them again. It’s a good thing that any form of wealth and valuable items are now banned in the PRSB.

LOUISE HAIGH CONCTED FRAUDSTER COMMISSAR

PRSB BULLETIN 43928-39384A

BAMBER PENNYFLITCH, 32, OF STALIN AVENUE, GRANTHAM, HAS BEEN AWARDED A BOX OF DEAD FROGS, TWO ROLLS OF QUADRUPLE-USED TOILET PAPER AND A BROKEN HAMMER. ADDITIONALLY, HIS RATIONS FOR TOOTHPASTE WERE INCREASED BY 0.00034 GRAMS FOR THREE WEEKS. HE REPORTED THE ENTIRE MEMBERS OF HIS LOCAL PUB TO STASI OFFICERS FOR COMPLAINING ABOUT COMRADE BURN’EM GOING ON HOLIDAY TO HIS DACHA AFTER ONLY TWO WEEKS ON THE JOB AND LEAVING A CONVICTED FRAUDSTER IN CHARGE OF THE PRSB. ALL 279 PUB-GOERS WERE TAKEN FROM THE PREMISES AND LIQUIDATED INTO NET ZERO JUICE. REMEMBER, COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN AND REPORT.

 

 

Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

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Researchers and students now have a new AI-native workspace with the launch of Digital Science’s Papers AI – where they’ll never have to re-explain their work every time they turn to AI for assistance.

Built by the team behind Overleaf, Papers AI is designed specifically for research workflows.

Researchers can write, organise their materials and analyse data, with context-aware AI assisting across a whole project, rather than working in one document at a time. From making sense of a paper someone else has written to producing a document of their own, the assistant stays in context throughout the process.

One workspace for the whole project

Papers AI brings research writing, analysis, management and collaborators together in one project instead of being scattered across separate tools – supporting Word, Markdown, Typst and LaTeX documents alongside Jupyter notebooks, CSV and Kanban boards.

Papers AI’s fully integrated AI assistant is designed to read a project’s drafts, datasets and references together, reducing the need to re-upload files or re-explain context each time a researcher returns to their work.

Data is never used to train models, and users have the option to use Papers AI completely locally, ensuring no data ever leaves their hardware.

Every AI-suggested change appears as a reviewable edit, which a researcher can accept, reject, or adjust before it becomes part of the document – nothing enters a project unreviewed. When changes are made in one file, other files are updated to reflect those changes, so the whole project stays in sync, with a clear record of what changed and why.

Key features include the following:

  • Multi-format writing – draft and organize in Word, Markdown, Typst, or LaTeX within one project
  • AI with full project context – the assistant reads drafts, datasets and references together, with no re-uploading or re-explaining required
  • Reviewable AI edits – AI-suggested changes are shown alongside the original, for the researcher to accept, reject, or edit
  • Code alongside writing – run Jupyter notebook cells and work with CSV data files in place and reuse outputs directly as figures and tables
  • Offline-first and private by design – projects live on-device unless a researcher chooses to share or sync them
  • Model flexibility – an external or local AI model can be connected instead of, or alongside, the built-in assistant

Designed with researchers, not just for them

Feedback from the research community has been critical to the development of Papers AI.

Amye KenallAmye Kenall, Chief Product Officer, Digital Science, said, “Researchers lose enormous amounts of time in the gaps between tools – re-explaining a project to an AI assistant that’s already forgotten it or ferrying results from one system to another. Papers AI supports the whole research workflow in one place, and it never changes anything quietly: every edit is tracked and every file stays in sync, so researchers stay in control of their own work.”

juan castro ai digital scienceJuan Castro, Principal AI Scientist, Digital Science, said, “Most AI tools only see the page in front of you. Papers AI’s assistant sees the whole project – the draft, the dataset, the notebook, the references – so it can actually help with the parts of research that take the most time, not just the writing. Trust matters as much as capability here – researchers need to know they’re still the ones making the final call on their own work, and that’s something we’ve built into Papers AI from the start.”

Papers AI is available now at papers.ai, with free and paid options, and sign-up is handled directly in the app.

Digital Science is an AI-focused technology company providing innovative solutions to complex challenges faced by researchers, universities, governments, funders, industry, and publishers. They work in partnership to advance global research for the benefit of society. Through their brands – Altmetric, Dimensions, Figshare, IFI CLAIMS Patent Services, metaphacts, Overleaf, ReadCube, Symplectic, and Writefull – they believe they can solve problems together and drive progress for all. Visit digital-science.com and follow Digital Science on Bluesky, on X or on LinkedIn.