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Labour Now Blames Diego Maradona and the “Hand of God” for Tax Rises

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Labour Now Blames Diego Maradona and the “Hand of God” for Tax Rises

Apart from blaming the Battle of Hastings in 1066, and the War of the Roses from 1455-1487, for the huge upcoming tax rises to try and fix the mess that the incompetent lunatic anti-capitalist Rachel Reeves created, Labour ministers are now scrambling to blame footballer Diego Maradona and his “hand of god” goal in the 1986 World Cup which saw Argentina beat England.

“Under no circumstances will we blame Rachel Reeves for her huge punitive tax and reckless spend budgets which stifled the economy and stopped growth dead in its tracks. If we hear any Labour minister telling the truth, they’re on the bench,” a scared looking Labour politician yelped as he hid in a parliament toilet.

According to one Labour politician, when Diego Maradona scored that “hand of god” goal, it was a defining moment that precipitated the huge increase in taxes Reeves will dole out in her Nightmare Before Christmas Budget.

“It was that Diego bloke werntit — he’s the one to blame, innit. Hand of God, 1986, bloody mess. Now we have to put your taxes up because of him. Nothing to do with us or anything. Blame Maradona!”

 

New York City Embraces Full Communism by Electing Islamo-Marxist

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New York City Embraces Full Communism by Electing Islamo-Marxist

The new Shia Muslim mayor of New York City is an avowed Islamo-Marxist agitator, despite championing LGBTQP rights for votes, alcohol consumption, drugs, gambling, adultery, pornography, he claims to be a Muslim. Islamo-Marxism is a hybrid political ideology aiming to subvert and re-write the original Islamic religious belief system. The new mayor of New York City is utilising a similar technique employed by the London Mayor, Sadiq Khan, who is also an avowed communist with an Islamic slant.

“Islamo-Marxists are essentially apostates to Islam because they champion woke Marxist agendas that are counter to the Quran or Islam, yet are somewhat supported by Western moderate Muslims. It is a weird intersection of beliefs and allegiances, but is effective in harnessing the woke “progressive” socialist vote,” a political commentator revealed.

Marxism is a very insidious and powerful destabilising force that is currently in full activation mode in the West, and is precipitating the downfall of Western democracy and capitalism.

The key point to remember is that Marxists have infiltrated and hijacked multiple “progressive” causes and affiliations. The eco movement, Palestine, MeToo, BLM, LGBTQP, ANTIFA etc. The hijacking of a religion like Islam however is unprecedented, because it is watering down and altering a religious belief that is presumed to be pure and untouched by any form of alteration, for example, embracing homosexuality.

“The Western Marxists are attempting to change and subvert Islam, as they have successfully done with Christianity. In the bible, it clearly states that homosexuality is wrong (sodomy, sodomites), and not what God or Jesus wants, as it is not natural behaviour. The same goes for Islam, as is written in the Quran, that homosexuality is an aberration. There are now thousands of gay churches in the West, along with gay clergy and female bishops, which ultimately means that the bible, and word of god, is no more. The bible and its teachings are now completely ignored and defiled openly, with no one even contesting this, even from the highest church organisations or clergy. This is the same technique that is now being employed on Islam. To water down and re-write the teachings of the Prophet Mohammed through the woke Marxist Western communist movement. In regard to Judaism, the Hebrew religion is essentially a mixture of opinions. Traditional Orthodox Judaism prohibits same-sex sexual relationships based on the Torah, while more liberal branches like Conservative Judaism and Reform Judaism have moved towards greater inclusion and acceptance. The traditional stance is rooted in Leviticus, which condemns male homosexual acts, while some views differentiate between the act and the emotion or orientation itself. Judaism, has therefore been adjusted along with the Torah, therefore the Jews have succumbed to the Marxist infiltration upon their religion. The essential modus operandi of the woke Marxist agenda is to normalise homosexuality within Islam. If it is accepted and embraced by Western Muslim leaders like Sadiq Khan and Zohran Mamdani, this means it can be exported and integrated into the Middle East and Asia directly to subvert Sharia Law abiding Islam from within. Already, Shia Muslims are viewed as apostates by the majority of Sunni Islam, and to have a gay loving Shia Indian Muslim mayor of New York City is a definite step towards subverting and corrupting one of the last pure religions left in the world today,” another commentator commented.

Global communism is inclusive to all — especially Islam, and the Prophet Mohammed; the new mayor of New York City is solid proof of this fact.

Wine Connoisseur Spotted at the Shops

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Wine Connoisseur Spotted at the Shops

As a wine connoisseur this epicurean, with a palate honed over decades of globetrotting supermarket raids, worships wine as both art and alchemy.

His heart races for the thunderous tannins of a 1982 Château Margaux, its blackcurrant depth still haunting his dreams. He’ll chase it with the electric minerality of a 2010 Domaine de la Romanée-Conti La Tâche, a velvet Burgundy that makes him whisper French expletives with gusto.

For sun-drenched afternoons, nothing beats the honeyed opulence of a 1990 Château d’Yquem, liquid gold that clings like a Sudanese gentleman on an overcrowded rubber dinghy trip from Calais to Dover.

Come autumn, he uncorks a 2005 Giacomo Conterno Monfortino Barolo, its tar-and-roses complexity unfolding like a slow tango in a 4-star hotel ballroom in Epping.

On reckless evenings, a frothy 2015 Dom Pérignon Rosé explodes in strawberry fireworks, while a rustic 1976 López de Heredia Viña Tondonia Gran Reserva Rioja, smokey, leathery, eternal, grounds his benefits’ stipend in everlasting ingratitude.

From the slate-kissed 2018 Joh. Jos. Prüm Wehlener Sonnenuhr Riesling Auslese to the peppery 2016 Penfolds Grange Shiraz, his cellar is a passport, each bottle a love letter to terroir, vintage, and the reckless joy of the next perfect theft.

NIGHTMARE BUDGET BEFORE CHRISTMAS – I Will Punish ‘Working People’ With More Tax

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NIGHTMARE BUDGET BEFORE CHRISTMAS – I Will Punish ‘Working People’ With More Tax

We take pride comrades, we take pride in your tax punishments after my first budget increased taxes by £70 billion; I will now increase taxes again for you despite the Labour manifesto to not increase taxes. My first budget halted growth, halted aspiration and halted employment whilst increasing inflation and unemployment. High Streets have closed down, the wealthy have left, aspiration is now gone, businesses have gone under or left the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. My nightmare budget before Christmas will ensure your poverty.

Working People

Working people, teachers, nurses, doctors, care home staff, policemen and women, civil servants, university lecturers, researchers, engineers, scientists, lawyers, judges, solicitors, barristers, train drivers, military personnel, union staff, council staff — I will punish you so severely, it gives me the shit giggles. My spending sprees on your wage increases means you will pay more tax you fucking wankers, ha, ha, ha!

RACHEL REEVES GBPUSD

“The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.”

I will increase taxes on working people because there’s no one left to tax into oblivion. The capitalist pigs have all left the PRSB, but good riddance to them. The working people shall take the burden on their broad shoulders because you voted for Labour after we lied to you in the manifesto of porkies, bwah, hah, ha!

monthly payroll Labour

“The goal of socialism is communism.”

Remember, more taxes means more inflation because ruined businesses and high energy costs leaves them no choice but to pass the costs onto the consumer — the fucking working people.

“A lie told often enough becomes the truth.”

Growth? Yes, there will be growth in tax, more tax, unemployment, energy costs, debt, more debt, inflation will see exponential growth in making everyone poorer. None of this is my fault — it’s all THEIR fault. I am doing this out of necessity because my last budget killed the economy dead, but you know that, we all know that, but let me gaslight you even more for the sake of posterity.

debt labour

NIGHTMARE BUDGET BEFORE CHRISTMAS

The punishment is my gift to you for Christmas, but don’t you dare blame me or my budget decisions on my doorstep — it’s everyone else’s fault. The arctic, Mars, Mickey Mouse, Napoleon Bonaparte, they are all to blame — not me.

Working people, get ready to pay fuckers…ha ha ha!

Merry fucking Christmas, many will be forced to cancel it altogether.

LABOUR LIES AND MORE LIES ON TOP OF LIES 

Unbiased BBC Showcases Impartial Editing Skills on Trump Footage

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Unbiased BBC Showcases Impartial Editing Skills on Trump Footage

The BBC always praise their impartiality and unbiased reporting, and this time they have a really great example of their impartial communication. An amazing Daily Telegraph investigation uncovered the evidence.

Election Interference

“We are the authentic arbiter of all truth, and we certainly do not see anything in an objective way without heavy far-left woke group-think communist bias,” a spokesman said whilst holidaying on the British taxpayers dime in Bermuda.

Fighting Disinformation?

Many people across the world and in America trusted the BBC, but one week before the 2024 election they broadcast their specially edited footage of Trump insinuating that he incited the storming of government buildings on January 6, 2021.

The Lies and Far-left Agenda

It’s okay, though, the Daily Squib was severely punished during the Obama/Biden years and nearly taken off the internet a few times completely due to the far-left woke cancel culture agenda because we saw through the lies. That was obviously a real threat to these people and the global “progressive” communist agenda aligned with China.

Keep paying your fucking £180 BBC Tax and revel in the fact that the “impartial” unbiased BBC spend your money well with “journalistic integrity and truth.”

 

 

Trump’s Secret Plan to Invade Venezuela: Replace Maduro with a Giant Taco Truck Empire

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Trump’s Secret Plan to Invade Venezuela: Replace Maduro with a Giant Taco Truck Empire

President Donald Trump is putting into action an audacious plan to topple Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro — not with troops, sanctions, or diplomacy, but with an army of taco trucks.

The plan, codenamed Operation Salsa Storm, was reportedly originally discussed during a 2019 National Security Council meeting.

According to insiders, Trump, at the time, believed that “nobody can resist a great fucking taco,” and that flooding Caracas with “the best, most beautiful taco trucks ever made” would “make socialism completely obsolete by lunchtime.” It sure beats eating out of a trash can every day, as most socialist Venezuelans do.

Aides say the plan included a 14-step flavour offensive featuring slogans such as “Make Venezuela Guac Again” and “Freedom Comes with Extra Cheese and Barbacoa.”

taco1 insThe current taco invasion plan is backed up by a $40 billion budget earmarked for taco infrastructure, guacamole logistics, and diplomatic napkins. Democrat senator Hakeem Jeffries has also been enrolled as the taco mascot for the operation and will be wearing a very large oversized sombrero as usual.

Marco Rubio, the current National Security Advisor, allegedly tried to object to the plan recently, suggesting that food trucks were not a recognised instrument of regime change. Trump immediately replied, “Marco, you ever had a bad fucking day while eating a taco? Didn’t think so. Shut up, and get me another taco, and this guaco is fantastic.”

Meanwhile, declassified documents have revealed that the CIA conducted field tests in Miami in 2017 which led to a temporary loss of political awareness among test subjects exposed to unlimited carnitas. “Morale went through the roof,” one agent admitted. “We started questioning democracy, but in a good way.” The taco tactical experiment seemed to work in changing ideological political allegiance through culinary psychological manipulation.

Analysts say that while the plan was never truly implemented until now, its blueprint resurfaced in later proposals, including Operation Burrito Barrier and a short-lived attempt to franchise democracy through drive-thrus.

Maduro, upon hearing about the taco threat, dismissed it as “imperialist nonsense,” though he reportedly ordered a dozen tacos from a nearby food truck for research purposes. Afterwards he had to dig into his used toilet paper supply, reportedly.

As one senior Trump advisor summarised:

“Is this shit crazy or what? Maybe. But if you think about it, replacing socialism with tacos isn’t the worst idea anyone’s had in Washington.”

X Platform’s New Filter Turns All Posts into Pirate-Speak, Argh Matey!

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X Platform’s New Filter Turns All Posts into Pirate-Speak, Argh Matey!

In what Elon Musk called “a bold experiment in linguistic freedom and general silliness,” X (formerly Twitter) has unleashed a new global filter that automatically converts every post into pirate-speak. The update, rolled out at midnight, has already caused mass confusion, laughter, and at least one diplomatic incident with the United Nations.

All posts — from serious political commentary to Taylor Swift fan updates — are now laced with “Arrr!”s, “matey”s, and references to plundering treasure. Within minutes, hashtags like #PlunderTheAlgorithm and #TalkLikeAnIdiotDay began trending worldwide.

Even official government accounts weren’t spared. The Bank of England tweeted, “Thar be a change in interest rates, ye scallywags,” while NASA proudly announced, “We be launchin’ yon space vessel toward Mars, hope the wind be in our favour!”

Musk, posting under his new handle @CaptainElonOfMars, defended the move.

“The world takes itself too seriously. Pirates didn’t ask for pronouns or fact-checks — they just took what they wanted. That’s the energy we’re bringing back to X.”

Reactions have been mixed. Linguists have called it “the end of coherent communication as we know it,” while historians applauded the feature as “the most authentic use of the word ‘booty’ in decades.”

One user complained, “I tried to post my grandma’s memorial, and it came out as ‘She be sleepin’ with the fishes, yarrr!’”

Despite outrage, engagement on X has skyrocketed 240%, with users reportedly spending hours translating pirate lingo back into normal English. Musk has hinted that more filters are coming, including “Medieval Monk Mode” and “AI Overlord Tone.”

For now, though, the internet belongs to the pirates. Or as one user succinctly put it.

“Dis app be chaos, but at least it be funny chaos, ye landlubbers.”

Mass Stabbing Frenzy? “Yep, it’s just another day in Labour’s Britain”

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Mass Stabbing Frenzy? “Yep, it’s just another day in Labour’s Britain”

There are no surprises to many that there has been another mass stabbing, with nine people suffering from life-threatening wounds. Living and dying in terror is just part of the process for many who exist in Labour’s Britain, a place where the population are taxed to the hilt and get nothing for it apart from a lawless cesspit of inequity.

ticket prices“Stabbings are just a part of daily life these days in Keir Starmer’s Britain. If you can afford to buy food in a supermarket, you might have a few items in a plastic bag. Well, getting stabbed while you’re trying to walk home because you can’t afford to pay the bus fare is to be expected. Going on public transport is worse though because you’re contained in a tiny space with nowhere to go, that’s where the really gruesome stabbings occur, and the psychos doing the murder, they choose their spots don’t they,” a commentator revealed.

You don’t “live” in the UK — you barely exist. The Third World it has become. Council tax, poll tax, national insurance tax, income tax, road tax, all the fucking taxes rise at exponential levels while all the four-star hotels are full to the brim with pampered illegal boat crossers. Your empty pocket is constantly being picked by the Labour machinery of the Big State, and for what? Nothing apart from a mass stabbing here, a mass stabbing there, all to stab you to death one way or another.

Fear and terror are the whips that Keir Starmer’s Labour employs on the people they hate and detest the most — the English (everyone else is just collateral damage).

 

Redcliffe Royals Edge Brightonvale Rovers in Nail-Biting Encounter at The Iron Gate

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Redcliffe Royals Edge Brightonvale Rovers in Nail-Biting Encounter at The Iron Gate

In a match that had fans on the edge of their seats until the very last whistle, the Redcliffe Royals secured a 2-1 victory over Brightonvale Rovers in front of a packed home crowd at The Iron Gate. The win extends the Royals’ unbeaten run at home this season, while leaving the Rovers searching for answers after a dramatic setback.

The opening minutes saw the Royals dominate possession, with winger Jack Henley terrorising Brightonvale’s defence from the flanks.

It was Henley’s quick feet and vision that set up Tom Carver’s 23rd-minute opener, a clinical strike from just inside the box that sent the home fans into delirium.

The Royals appeared poised to take control, but Brightonvale fought back, led by the ever-creative Lucas Trent.

The first half’s drama reached a peak when Carver was brought down in the box, earning the Royals a penalty. However, Brightonvale’s keeper Felix Doran produced a world-class save to keep his side in the game.

The first half ended with the Royals holding a 1-0 advantage, though the missed penalty lingered as a potential turning point.

Brightonvale came out strong in the second half, equalising in the 53rd minute. Trent’s exquisite cross found striker Ollie Freeman, who slotted the ball past the Royals’ keeper in a move that showcased the Rovers’ growing cohesion this season.

With the scoreline level, the game intensified into a tactical battle, with both sides probing for a decisive breakthrough.

The winner arrived in dramatic fashion in the 81st minute. The Royals captain Gregor Mills, dominating the defensive and aerial battles all game, rose above the crowd to power a header from a corner into the net.

Despite a frantic late surge from Brightonvale, including a goal-line clearance, the Royals held firm to claim all three points.

Match Analysis

Redcliffe Royals: Tactical discipline and home advantage were key. The defence, marshalled by Mills, was resilient, and Carver’s movement kept Brightonvale guessing. However, the Royals must improve penalty-taking under pressure, as evidenced by the missed spot-kick.

Brightonvale Rovers: Entertaining, fluid, and creative, particularly through Trent and Freeman. The Rovers showed resilience to equalise but lacked defensive composure late in the game, which ultimately cost them.

Season Implications

The Redcliffe Royals win cements their position in the top half of the league table, demonstrating that their home form could be the foundation for a potential top-four push. Brightonvale Rovers, now struggling to convert draws into wins, may need to strengthen their defensive organisation if they hope to compete for European qualification spots.

With only a third of the season gone, the Redcliffe Royals look increasingly like genuine contenders, balancing flair and discipline, while Brightonvale’s free-scoring style is exciting but leaves them vulnerable in key moments.

Next Fixtures: The Redcliffe Royals host Midland City United, while Brightonvale travel to face rival Eastford Town in what promises to be another high-octane clash.

Common Civilian Formerly Known as Prince Andrew Reportedly Confused by Concept of “Normal Life”

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Common Civilian Formerly Known as Prince Andrew Reportedly Confused by Concept of “Normal Life”

In a stunning development that has shaken the minor aristocracy and startled corgis everywhere, the man once known as Prince Andrew, Duke of York, has been officially stripped of his titles and evicted from his palace, leaving him, for the first time in his life, to confront the dark horror of self-service laundry, queuing and paying utility bills.

“Oik!”

Sources close to the disgraced former royal say he’s “trying to adapt,” but was last seen attempting to wave at a cash machine and asking if Uber Eats drivers “curtsy on arrival.”

Buckingham Palace issued a terse statement confirming the decision, explaining that “His… Andrew-ness” would henceforth be known simply as Mr. Andrew Windsor, or “that sweaty bloke with the teddy bears” to his old Navy friends.

Witnesses report the former duke looked “visibly shaken” upon discovering that Waitrose does not offer credit to ex-royals and that Deliveroo doesn’t recognise “His Majesty’s discount code.”

40 Thai whores in 4 days pussy Olympics

Randy Andy remembers the good old days with fondness, particularly the 40 Thai prostitutes he bulldozed through on a “business trip” to Thailand as a British envoy. “You ever seen a mountain of pussy? I have, and after those four days of chugging away like Thomas the Tank Engine on steroids, my todger was redder than a spanked prep school bottom in the headmaster’s study. They used to call me the Duke of Pork for good reason.”

In a touching moment of self-reflection, Mr. Windsor reportedly declared, “I’ve always wanted to connect more with the common man, I just didn’t know they lived without footmen. Bring me my mangoes, you fucking bastard!”

Meanwhile, the city of York has breathed a collective sigh of relief, finally free from having its good name attached to “the royal who often sweated like a priest at a choir boy convention.”

Palace staff are also celebrating, seeing as Andrew’s nickname during his reign of terror was: “The cunt”.

As one local put it: “It’s nice to have our duke title back. Maybe we’ll give it to someone less controversial. Like a ferret.”

The common civilian Andrew was last seen dining at the Woking Pizza Express, a place which he finds deep comfort in, especially as he was digging into an “American Hot”.

Meanwhile in Montecito, apparently sources reveal that there is a tad bit of squeaky bum time going on …wonder why?

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