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Shoplifting and Looting Now Considered Normal in Recession Britain

LONDON - England - The cost of living crisis, hyperinflation, interest rate rises has led to many Britons shoplifting to survive.

When a block of regular cheddar cheese is now £6.90 in the shops, and a loaf of bread £3.50, it is no wonder that many Britons are resorting to shoplifting from supermarkets and shops. The cost of living in the UK is now at insane levels, therefore looting and stealing from shops is a daily activity for many.

Bankrupt Britain

The Bank of England’s irresponsible mismanagement of the economy led by turnip head BofE governor Andrew Bailey (salary:£672,000/year), who recently put interest rates up by 5%, has further impoverished the population. This has led to formerly law-abiding citizens to turn to crime simply to feed themselves and their families.

“You walk in, take what you want, then calmly walk out without paying. The police do not care, because everyone’s doing it now. If I need anything, I just get it,” a grandmother in Anglesey, told the Sun.

Free for all

According to many new shoplifters, the cashiers are often sympathetic and let them go on their way without saying anything.

“I’ve got a whole bag of cheddar here. Cost me nothing. I’ll give some to folks in my area, or sell some. I only go for the big price items, like cheddar and olive oil,” a council worker from Berkshire revealed.

You may have three jobs, but it’s still not enough to live in a country that is now unliveable.


Julie, a mother of six from Wythenshawe, Manchester, regularly steals from shops just to survive.

“The rent payments take everything, so I now steal just to feed my family. I look at the greasy piece of shit Rishi Sunak and want to vomit,” the librarian exclaimed.

Treasury Chancellor of the Exchequer, Jeremy Hunt, told families on Friday whilst giggling like a deranged hyena: “People need to eat less or do not eat at all. Forget about ever going on a holiday ever again, and walk everywhere. Sell your car. You must enjoy your poverty, because this is the future for Britain. After I am done with you lot, you will either be dead or barely fucking alive. This’ll teach you to vote for Brexit! Scum!”

Shoplifting is now a normal pursuit for many in Britain, and is accepted fully by many people.

“You can’t get arrested even if you try. I mean, I walked out of my local shop with my hands full of stuff and bumped into a copper. He smiled, and said I dropped a block of cheddar. He handed it to me, and told me to get on my way,” a maths teacher from Solihull revealed.

Daily Squib Notice

We are in no way condoning any of the actions of shoplifters or looters, we are simply reporting what is going on currently in the UK.

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  1. This recession and cost of living crisis has been great for me. I literally do not pay for anything anymore. My house is full of food. Bravo. Thank you Bank of England and Tories.

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