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Cheltenham Day One Preview and Selections

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Get set for Cheltenham Day One with some great tips for the circuit. Brilliant mare Lossiemouth (4.00) is strongly fancied to extend her excellent record at the Cheltenham Festival in the Unibet Champion Hurdle Challenge Trophy. The daughter of Great Pretender runs in the familiar colours of banker Rich Ricci, who has previously celebrated Champion Hurdle victories with Faugheen and Annie Power.

Like Annie Power before her, Lossiemouth is a mare who has thrived at the Festival. She first tasted success when landing the Triumph Hurdle in 2023 and has since comfortably defeated rivals from her own division at the 2024 and 2025 meetings.

Now confirmed to run, the mare should relish the drying conditions, and her trainer Willie Mullins opts for first-time cheekpieces.

The same tactic proved highly effective with State Man last season until he famously fell at the final flight.

The Arkle Challenge Trophy (2.00) could go the way of Lulamba, a promising youngster from the stable of Nicky Henderson.

Currently the second favourite with bookmakers, the talented recruit owned by the Donnelly family produced an impressive performance at Newbury last month in the Game Spirit Chase, a key trial for this contest.

Although slightly untidy over the early fences and competing on ground that did not play to his strengths, Lulamba showed considerable class when pulling clear of the 155-rated Saint Segal by six and a half lengths.

The experience should bring him on again, and his preparation mirrors the route taken by Henderson’s former stars Sprinter Sacre and Altior, who captured this race in 2012 and 2017, respectively.

Attention then turns to the McCoy Contractors Juvenile Handicap Hurdle (2.40), where Saratoga appears to have been targeted for the valuable 22-runner handicap.

One of three runners sporting the well-known green and gold silks of JP McManus, the former Ballydoyle inmate has shaped encouragingly in three outings over hurdles. Rated 92 on the Flat when last seen on Champions Day at Ascot Racecourse in October, Saratoga has yet to reproduce the front-running tactics that brought him victory in a handicap at Listowel Racecourse last autumn, suggesting further improvement may still be forthcoming.

Later on the card, McManus will also be represented by Johnnywho (3.20), who went agonisingly close in the Kim Muir Challenge Cup Amateur Jockeys’ Handicap Chase last year after travelling strongly throughout.

He caught the eye again when finishing third in the Ascot Silver Cup two starts ago, staying on late to suggest his current handicap mark leaves room for success. A former graded hurdler, Johnnywho has occasionally shown quirks, but following recent wind surgery, he looks capable of outrunning the market expectations compared with stablemates Jagwar and Iroko.

Cheltenham Day One Selections

1.20 Eachtotheirown
2.00 Lulamba (Next Best)
2.40 Saratoga
3.20 Johnnywho
4.00 Lossiemouth
4.40 Mclaurey (Nap)
5.20 Walking On Air

The Sun Racing Plate Handicap Chase (4.40) may present an opportunity for Mclaurey, who is selected as the day’s strongest bet. Trained by Emmet Mullins, the gelding has gained valuable experience in four starts over fences in Ireland.

Although he had the option of contesting the Jack Richards Novices’ Handicap Chase, his connections have opted for this race, where he carries an attractive weight of 10 st 7 lb. In a field containing many exposed rivals, Mclaurey can improve upon his encouraging fourth-place finish at Down Royal Racecourse and make a bold bid for victory.

Later, the experienced Walking On Air (5.20) looks capable of running into the places. He was an unlucky fifth in both the Pertemps Network Final in 2023 and the Great Yorkshire Handicap Chase last year on decent ground, and his consistency and experience could see him feature prominently.

Earlier on the card, Eachtotheirown (1.20) represents an intriguing outsider in the Supreme Novices’ Hurdle for trainer Barry Connell. Connell’s previous runners in this race include the 2023 winner Marine Nationale and the 2025 runner-up William Munny.

His disappointing run in the Royal Bond Novice Hurdle at Fairyhouse Racecourse in November can be forgiven, and he subsequently rose 13lb in the handicap following a convincing success. While the handicapper can only judge him on his existing record, further improvement combined with a more patient ride could see him play a major role if the race develops strongly.

We Keep Repeating: Britain Needs Cheap Energy, Production, Drilling in War Time NOT Net Zero

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The lunatic Labour government must be manned by some really delusional people if they, time after time, day after day, hour after hour, do not understand the implications of what is happening globally. The tight octopus grip over Ukraine by Putin’s Russia; the Middle East in flames; Pakistan and Afghanistan at war; Myanmar, Africa, Venezuela, and other hot spots soon to open up. We warned in 2024 that in a time of war Net Zero was useless… and of course those warnings were not heeded. Net Zero can only be a true reality after the war and after the deluge, but during a war, you might as well bend over and get ready to be fucked up the arse by the enemy.

Incredibly, Labour is also now cutting the budget for military spending, instead choosing to divert funds to welfare and 5-star asylum hotels. The Office for Budget Responsibility has revealed a real-term cut of 0.7% in 2026-27.

War needs serious energy, oil, gas, electricity, and coal to produce and manufacture weapons, vehicles, ships, planes, infrastructure, and logistics. You cannot do anything with Net Zero energy…tanks cannot have fucking windmills on them, and battleships cannot have sails on them.

The idiotic morons shackled to Net Zero regulations from the EU in the Labour government are hindering Britain; they are damaging its capability to fight a war. What kind of stupid wanker thought that concreting over the oil wells in the North Sea was a good idea when the British government is buying at great cost oil and gas drilled from the same North Sea by Norway? Obviously common sense is not something this awful government is capable of, because if they had any common sense, they would fucking “Drill baby drill!” and not spend billions buying energy resources that are directly in their fucking waters.

We need ammunition, smart bombs, missiles, guns, tanks, jeeps, boats, ships, jets, radar, communications, trucks, and all the shit that needs to be in place to defend the UK from the encroaching augurs of World War III. We need big fucking warehouses in every town and city, big factories churning out drones by the million. We need steel mills everywhere; we need shipyards building submarines and ships. We need war production. We need to bring back coal-fired stations, nuclear power, oil drilling, fracking, and gas pipes all over the fucking place!

With Labour at the helm during a war, be prepared to lose your homes, hospitals, your schools, your livelihoods and everything you ever owned because these irresponsible sclerotic and blind pieces of shit have no fucking idea about what is to come. They are instead doubling down on DEI initiatives, woke insanity and NET FUCKING ZERO.

SWARM INTENSIFIES: Labour £40,000 Invite to Illegal Migrants

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Imagine you get paid £40,000 to come to the UK illegally, and then you are deported. After a month or so you come back and collect another £40,000. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum to gain some serious riches. Thanks to Labour’s lucrative deals with illegal migrants, millions are queuing up across the Channel to come here and get rich.

Labour Migration Incentive Payments

“By next year, I hope to make £120,000 with three trips. I then syphon off the money to my accounts in Switzerland and France. This is a career for me,” Abdul al Ahrami, a Syrian economic migrant from Nice, France, told local news outlets.

migrants into spain open borders

The Iranian war will also see a massive increase in illegal migrant activity as many more flee the region.

The Labour government is even thinking of upping the taxpayer payoffs to £60,000 per illegal migrant, and the swarm of millions of third-world migrants will explode at such incentives.

Gold Mine

“This is a gold mine. Coming here illegally, we throw our papers into the sea before we arrive. It is luxury. Thank you, Labour government; you are the best. You put us up in 5-star hotels, jacuzzis, saunas, room service, heated swimming pools, and prostitutes while you ignore your own people for our benefit. We love you. Then you give us £40,000 to leave in a first-class lounge, and all we have to do is come back and come back and come back, and you pay us each time we leave. Beautiful. Thank you. Thank you from the top of my overflowing bank account!” another illegal migrant commented whilst flashing their designer sunglasses, top-of-the-range iPhone and Gucci clothes.

Don’t forget to work harder and for longer hours for less pay so that you can pay more tax to furnish the wonderful Labour policies enabling mass illegal migration.

HMS Ed Miliband the First Net Zero Battleship Sets Sail For Cyprus

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Keir Starmer’s Labour Party was in a celebratory mood today as the first Net Zero battleship set sail from Portsmouth to go to Cyprus. HMS Ed Miliband is estimated to get to Cyprus from the United Kingdom in eight months’ time, depending on the wind conditions.

The Net Zero battleship was constructed from sustainable hemp and ethically viable renewable, recycled, and low-impact resources to reduce its carbon footprint in construction and design and cost the UK taxpayer £193 billion.

The deck was constructed with ethically sourced bamboo, mass timber, sheep’s wool, rammed earth, and straw bales for structural integrity. Innovative materials like mycelium (mushroom leather), Ferrock, and recycled plastic bricks provide durable, eco-friendly alternatives to traditional, high-emission products in constructing the vessel.

“I’ve got a tear in my eye; what a beautiful sight. Look at her go! She should be out of port by next month,” a jubilant Keir Starmer said from the shoreline.

The Net Zero battleship is powered by wind power and some solar energy and can travel as fast as a tree branch.

State-of-the-art weaponry will be able to give the Iranians a run for their money. Decked out with a troupe of Just Stop Oil activists and one bow and arrow, the battleship will be a formidable foe in combat.

In eight months’ time when the ship finally arrives to protect the British base in Cyprus, the government will send a carrier pigeon to the ship for its attack orders on any Iranian threats.

Starmer today denied that Britain is now a laughing stock.

“I am very proud of the Net Zero battleship. We are adhering to sustainable eco warfare Net Zero rules and EU laws. This is a great moment in our history.”

Iranians to Announce Next Target…Ahem…Leader

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After the clinical strike that blew up the former Iranian leader Ayotollah Khamenei, the Islamic Republic regime is set to announce the next leader to take over the reins of terror.

The bets are on. How long will the new leader be around before being blown to smithereens?

a) 18 seconds

b) 35 seconds

c) 1 minute 12 seconds

d) 3 minutes

e) 3 minutes 8 seconds

Leave a comment with a chance to win a piece of shrapnel.

LABOUR VICTORY: Starmer Stops a Boat Crossing English Channel

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British PM Keir Starmer has successfully managed to stop a boat in the Channel. HMS Dragon is still stuck in the port of Portsmouth thanks to the supreme incompetence of the Labour government and lunatic influence of Net Zero zealot Red Ed Miliband.

Speaking in the House of Commons, Starmer was triumphant in his stance.

“Thanks to Lord Harmer, who harms everything to do with Britain, as well as that other lunatic, Ed Miliband, as well as my adherence to a skewed view of ‘international law,’ I have stopped the boat.”

Starmer may have stopped HMS Dragon from leaving port to defend British bases and military personnel in the Middle East, but thankfully, 4,687 illegal fake asylum-seeking men from third-world countries landed at Dover today, escorted safely across the Channel by the French navy.

World War III Told to Wait So Britain Can Fix Broken Ships and Planes

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The incompetent Labour government, which is more concerned with woke censorship of free speech, transgender issues, increasing welfare spending exponentially, 5-star asylum hotels, and bankrupting Britain with extortionate energy costs, is pleading with World War III to not get too far ahead of itself. Currently, the Greek and French navies have deployed ships to protect the British base in Cyprus, which is vulnerable to attack from Iran. The Royal Navy is nowhere to be seen.

“We still have to build more wind farms and solar panels over the green fields of England so that we can meet our Net Zero EU quotas, so that Britain has little or no energy, and so that during World War III Britain will be vulnerable to attack from its many enemies.

“Instead of drilling in the North Sea, where there are literally trillions of gallons of oil and gas, we want to cripple Britain. Leaving the country defenceless and killing off the already weak economy is a Labour Party priority,” Keir Starmer told Parliament today to great cheers from the Labour benches.

With only one ship operational, the RAF without much of its crucial equipment, and the land army at its lowest recruitment levels in the history of the British Army, it seems that unless there is an immediate change in government, Britain will no longer exist soon.

HOLLYWOOD: Jim Carrey Cloned From the Stem Cells of a Chimpanzee’s Ass Crack

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Scientists at the University of Kentucky Fry biological research facility have confirmed that Hollywood actor Jim Carrey was cloned from the stem cells of a chimpanzee’s ass crack.

“Through the genetic cloning transfer process, we managed to create the entity you call “Jim Carrey” from some chimpanzee ass sphincter cells.

“We are proud to present the profound news that we have successfully cloned an exact replica of the former Hollywood actor from the stem cells of a wild chimpanzee’s asshole. Behold! It’s alive!!!”

The scientific community is astounded at the profound scientific milestone by the research team at Kentucky Fry University in Alabama.

No one knows what happened to the real Jim Carrey or cares for that matter.

What happens after this? The research team is planning to clone Rosie O’Donnell from a pig’s scrotum.

 

Comrades, That Capitalist Imperialistic Pig Trump Wants Soviet Britain to Join Forces

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Comrades, apparatchiks, Bolsheviks, Marxist union officials, train drivers, NHS officials, council fat cats, high party members, and the rest of the “working people” prole scum. The People’s Republic of Soviet Woke Britain will not appease the capitalist imperial actions of the vile United States of America or that cantankerous shitbag, President Donald J. Trump, in a war with the Islamic Marxist Shiites of Iran, whom we support fully.

That capitalist imperialistic pig Trump called me up and said he wanted to use our airbases to stage a terrible war on our Islamic Marxist Shia comrades in Iran.

I consulted my big book on skewed international Marxist law and immediately told the vile fat pig Trump “NO!”

We are giving away the former British islands of Chagos to Mauritius, a proxy of the CCP. Xi Jinping himself thanked my Big State Soviet government for capitulating such a strategic military base for China to exploit. I have to thank Lord Harmer, who was installed specifically to harm as much of the Olde Great Britain as possible. Without Harmer’s astute dealings we would not be in the situation we are in right now.

Because of years of underfunding, the military of the former Great Britain is now very limited. We have one rust bucket ship and a few missiles left; maybe we can rustle up an old cannon from 1884, so in truth Britain is completely useless.

The Labour Party has welcomed another 3,580 third-world fake asylum seekers just today, who will each be given £30,000 for their trouble and put up in a variety of 5-star hotels with saunas, indoor luxury pools, room service and exclusive taxpayer-funded escorts from Romania and Brazil.

A final word for the Americans from the People’s Republic of Soviet Woke Britain (PRSWB). Remember, the former Great Britain colonial shithole is over! This country is developing from socialism to full communism.

FUCK OFF TRUMP!

 

 

Incredible Video Footage of Khamenei Regime Meeting Justice

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The murderous Khamenei regime goons were caught eating some serious explosions in the following video.

After decades of murder and tyranny of the ordinary Iranian people, these Islamic Shiite Republic zealot monsters finally got their just desserts.

The crackdown on nationwide protests on January 8–9 resulted in the deadliest two-day protest massacre in history, with security forces killing over 36,500 Iranians.

N.B. Some of the footage is from previous operations in Iran

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