17.7 C
London
Saturday, October 12, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldHow Much Fish Do the French Fishermen Need?

How Much Fish Do the French Fishermen Need?

PARIS - France - How much more fish do French fishermen want from the oceans? Do the French not eat enough fish, to want more, and more?

The French fishermen have the entire Atlantic Ocean, the southern Mediterranean Sea, and a sizeable part of the English Channel. In almost all the West Coast, most of the regions contain more than 20,000 fishermen. The regions of the Rhone, Saône and Loire, Gold Coast and Isère have at least 20,000 fishermen. The northern France region have at least 10,000 fishermen.

The French already fish out 756,228 tonnes per annum, worth 22.5 billion euros, with a per capita consumption per household of 33.5 kg.

How much more fish can the French eat? They must literally have poisson coming out of their ears. How much Lamprey à la Bordelaise, or Saumon à l’oseille, do the French want with their Matelote, and Sole Meunière? Stuff more of that broiled swordfish à la Niçoise down your gullets, along with your Bouillabaisse with basil rouille, and Halibut brochettes Provençale. Cod and chips? Non!

Because of Brexit, Jersey, a British Crown dependency, is now unfortunately at the front line of a French fishing onslaught, where massive French super trawlers that cause vast amounts of ecological damage are demanding they enter the fishing zones for British fishermen only. Yes, Jersey, and Guernsey are close to the French coast, but that is no excuse for invading its sovereign Channel fishing territory.

If you are a French fisherman, why not move to the West Atlantic zone, or the Southern Mediterranean Sea?

Is French cuisine so dependent on fish for fuck’s sake, yes, of course fish is a large part of Haute cuisine, but the already vast amount that France fishes per annum should be sufficient. The sheer insanity of threatening to cut off Jersey’s electricity or to blockade the Channel Tunnel is, it seems, more of an exercise in punishing the UK for Brexit in a vindictive, nasty way that creates more needless conflict.

We all know, and have witnessed the overt nature of the French ministers attempting to punish Britain since Brexit, but does this sort of uncivil, spiteful and malicious behaviour befit such a supposedly cultured civilised nation as France?

Maybe, next time, Britain may not save France from whatever ogre bears down on it.

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!