17.7 C
London
Sunday, January 25, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 275

BLM ANTIFA Celebrate Murder of American Patriot by Marxist Gunman

Tanya Rider
-
0
BLM ANTIFA Celebrate Murder of American Patriot by Marxist Gunman

Matthew Doloff, a known Marxist BLM communist Bernie Sanders supporter, shot an American patriot protester in cold blood on Saturday during another ‘peaceful’ BLM protest.

The BLM and ANTIFA crowds all celebrated the death of the American patriot chanting ‘Fuck America’ and ‘Another Nazi dead’. During the BLM march two American flags were burnt and stamped on calling for Death to America.

We have not included any footage of the unsavoury act here, but it can be found all over the internet with a few searches.

Doloff, was identified as a left-wing agitator from the distinctive ‘Rosa Antifa Wien’ space invader tattoo that BLM and ANTIFA activists sport. He was supposedly working for a left-wing news media outlet as a security guard.

American citizens who love their country and want to defend it from rioting and looting, as well as the encroaching spectre of communism are labelled as far-right white supremacist fascists by BLM/ANTIFA agitators and the socialist controlled media.

Denver CommunistsAs the November election nears, the tension in America is growing daily, the violence becoming deadlier at every insurgent BLM activist demonstration.

The Democrat party, who fully support the rioting and looting incite more riots daily even having the gall to describe these acts of violence as justified peaceful protests.

America has become so polarised between the left and right that it is almost inevitable that there will be mass civil disorder when the election occurs, especially if the result is disputed in any way.

It seems funding for BLM and ANTIFA is so huge that they would certainly have the upper hand against the American patriots if it came to a fight. With access to large resources, BLM and ANTIFA can buy as many weapons as they want.

Civil war here we come. The next civil war will be between the Marxist communists fighting for totalitarian oppression and communism, and the American Democratic Patriots fighting for freedom and liberty.

World Mental Health Day All About Me, Me, Me!

Tanya Rider
-
0
World Mental Health Day All About Me, Me, Me!

“Everything is about me! I was the most trolled person on the internet in 2019, and 2020, as well as hopefully 2021, otherwise I will have nothing to whine about, god forbid!” Meghan Markle whined on a recent propaganda podcast for herself on World Mental Health Day.

You see, the world revolves around Meghan Markle’s fat egotistical head, even all of your mental illnesses are all based solely on Meghan’s supposed suffering.

“No one ever suffered like me. We were on our fourth private jet flight over the Atlantic that week, I’ll never forget it. The air stewardess brought us champagne and fresh lobster, but all I could think of was all the thousands of people who could see through my fake plastic facade commenting on the internet. They don’t know me, they don’t know of the heartache I feel as my faux Diana impersonation is torn apart everyday by internet trolls, that’s what I call them trolls, because they expose my narcissism, virtue signalling, grifting and plastic me, me, me schizoid persona,” Meghan yelped furiously.

“I am so irritated by all these trolls, would they say those things to my face? I don’t personally read what is said about me, because I like to think I am above all that, so I get my personal book writer ‘Scooby’ automaton to tell me exactly what is happening even though I am myself glued to the internet searching daily of what is said about me. In fact, I actually love it because the more they say things about me, the more I get in the news. All of it feeds my huge fucking ego!”

Meghan Markle who seems to be pursuing an agenda to ruin the British monarchy, is actively using Prince Harry who is of real royal blood to continue her devilish pursuit of destruction against an institution she hates with a vengeance, and to bolster her vast narcissistic ego.

One royal commentator revealed: “If Harry was not there, she would not have the royal title, so she is using him purely for his royal title for her agenda of destroying the British monarchy by divulging private royal workings and illicit news to besmirch the thousand-year British institution. Harry has now been indoctrinated into the Meghan cult, and like in all cults, previous family and friends are rejected, isolating him further. He now hands all his money to the cult leader without question, and divulges royal secrets to Meghan that should be held only by the covenant of the Monarchy.”

It is indeed a possibility that royal secrets that Harry was inducted into could be revealed at any moment during a paid tell-all interview to the American media or some exploitative streaming channel.

Along with meddling with the U.S. elections and dumping royal protocols of political impartiality, Harry is not of sound mind, thus could under the control and duress of Meghan reveal information that could endanger the constitutional viability of the British monarchy at any time.

The clock is ticking, and Meghan and Harry now have the Windsor clan by the crown jewels.

Think Tank: Military Lockdown Could Eradicate Virus in Month

Tanya Rider
-
0
Think Tank: Military Lockdown Could Eradicate Virus in Month

The UK could eradicate Covid-19 virus completely from Britain in a single month, but only if a proper lockdown is put into place, and not a laissez-faire, wishy-washy one.

To completely cleanse Britain of Covid-19, all ports of entry, air/sea/rail would have to be shut down completely for a month only allowing essential freight.

All households would be under lockdown with army patrols in the streets enforcing the shutdown and supplying the vulnerable. Anyone leaving their home unless sanctioned, and wearing a mask, would be taken to offshore holding ships and detained for the whole month.

All schools, educational institutions, would be shut down for the entire month. All businesses, apart from food delivery, medical, or transport delivery would be shut down for the month. All public transport in Britain would be shut down for a month.

Any illegal migrants crossing the Channel in dinghies would be detained immediately and taken to the same offshore prison ships indefinitely.

The short sharp strict approach would eradicate the virus in a single month from the entire Island. It would also be less costly for the government, and the taxpayer.

There would be an interim period after a month’s lockdown of two weeks, where a tiered approach would be utilised to re-open businesses, and schools etc. During this period all ports of entry into the UK would still be closed apart from essential supply freight.

This strict fast militarized approach would work to eradicate the virus completely from Britain, however, as soon as International travel and the ports are re-opened to human traffic, it is inevitable that the virus will once again spread in the UK from other infected areas of the globe.

Every human within the British Isles would have to be tested for the virus at some point during the lockdown.

This plan could also be introduced globally for a month, subject to getting governments to comply, however this is highly unlikely to happen because there is no global unity and no one world governmental system of control yet.

The plan would only eradicate the virus from the UK for a single month because it is inevitable that once ports re-open for humans, they will bring in the virus, and the cycle will start all over again. It is inconceivable that the current UK government would close all ports for more than a month or even a month, therefore the plan would only work with a government that is wakened to the seriousness of the situation in a military sense. The world is being attacked by the Chinese Virus constantly indefinitely.

Hillary Clinton Ate the Fly Off Mike Pence’s Head

Tanya Rider
-
0
Hillary Clinton Ate the Fly Off Mike Pence’s Head

Many have had suspicions about Hillary Clinton, is she really of this world, does she have human emotions, and is she a shapeshifting reptilian from Alpha Centauri masquerading as a human on earth?

Hillary did attend the Vice President Debate with Mike Pence and Kamala Harris at the University of Utah the other night, but what we are going to tell you may seem unbelievable.

One studio witness is receiving counselling after what he saw on that fateful night.

“Hillary was in the wings supporting Kamala during the VP debate when a fucking fly landed on Mike Pence’s perfectly coiffured white hair. At first, we started giggling like little kids as we watched the fly just sit on Pence’s head as he spoke for two minutes, but then I saw a change in Hillary Clinton that has changed my whole perspective on reality. Her nostrils flared up, and she started to sniff the air snorting wildly.

“Mrs. Clinton now had a wild look in her eyes, that at moments looked like the pupils were slits, you know like a reptile, but I figured it was just the studio lights playing with her eyes. She opened her mouth slowly revealing a very long raspy tongue, which darted out at such speed it was not visible to the human eye.

“The Mike Pence fly was toast after that. I looked back in horror to see a look of extreme pleasure on Hillary’s face as she crunched down on the fly. Some fly guts seeped out onto her lower lip. She licked up the dregs rolling her eyes in ecstasy burping loudly. That’s when I left the stage wing area in a hurry but could not hold my vomit. I projectile vomited over a CNN reporter, his open mouth receiving large chunks of partially fermented pork stew I had eaten for supper.”

Suffice to say, the fly that landed on Mike Pence’s head during the discussion ended up being consumed by Hillary Clinton. The fly did not land on Pence’s head though without leaving something behind, a load of fly eggs, before having its time cut short so suddenly by being snatched up on Hillary’s tongue.

Kamala Harris Outlines Bolshevik American Soviet Dream

Tanya Rider
-
0
Kamala Harris Outlines Bolshevik American Soviet Dream

As a trained Marxist, Kamala Harris is well schooled in skewing the facts to suit the Soviet message she delivers constantly to the pliant American audiences at the election debates.

The raison d’être of this Soviet woman’s zeal is very simple, once in power, the weak Biden will be pushed aside and all manner of communist policies will be put in place. There is no way in hell that Biden will be able to stand up to this powerhouse of Soviet ideology if the Democrats cheat their way into winning the election.

Along with massive voter fraud in Minnesota, and evidence of ruined Trump ballots shredded in containers across the nation, there is a possibility that the Soviet Marxists will win the election through the use of massive organised voter fraud.

There is nothing the Democrats are not resorting to at the moment, as they encourage violent insurrection through their funded revolutionary agitators ANTIFA and BLM. Looting, rioting and arson now define the Democrat party, who have moved so far left that even Lenin would have second thoughts.

The Democrat party are the Oppression Olympics champions of the election circuit, everything about them is a big fucking moaning session as they flagellate themselves in front of the adoring socialist media cameras.

America at the moment is literally fighting for its life, and to this end, if the Democrat socialist party wins, the people will be punished so severely it will be witnessed from space.

You get what you vote for, and the American people have not heeded the warnings of history about communism and Marxism. Throughout history communism has condemned over 160 million people to death, and if the communists win the last ever American election, it is notable that the communist death tally will increase by millions more.

Teflon Don in Twitter Roid Rage Rampage Crashes Dow

Tanya Rider
-
0
Teflon Don in Twitter Roid Rage Rampage Crashes Dow

They gave the Teflon Don steroids in hospital to stabilise his recovery and dampen inflammation, but seems like the president has now succumbed to a bout of roid rage going on a Twitter rampage never before seen by anyone.

The Dow took a major tumble after the Teflon Don tweeted that he was shutting Covid relief talks.

In the space of twenty minutes, the president had tweeted 45 times, not stopping for a breather.

“Contracting the Covid-19 virus can cause the recipient to experience altered states of consciousness, and adversely affect their emotions, in conjunction with the drugs doctors prescribe for the patient these can have additional effects. Notably, the president was given dexamethasone, a steroid that can create a state of mania in the patient,” one medical practitioner revealed after witnessing the Trump Twitter roid rage rampage.

Obamagate and the Hillary Russia Hoax were also part of the Tweet storm, and it is most certain Obama and Hillary Clinton are now waiting to be exposed for their treasonous actions. Unfortunately, treason is not taken as seriously as it was in the past, and these two miscreants even though exposed will probably walk Scott free.

One thing’s for sure, Trump is still on the meds and nothing or anyone is going to stop the Teflon Don from doing what he is doing.

Tribute to Eddie Van Halen RIP

Tanya Rider
-
0
Tribute to Eddie Van Halen RIP

There’s one band that is on almost constant rotation on the Daily Squib office stereo and that’s Van Halen, chiefly led by Eddie Van Halen possibly one of the most innovative guitarists of modern times.

If you’re a guitarist you will know of the famous ‘brown sound’ pioneered by Eddie in those early days when he experimented with a Variac on his Marshall amps sometimes melting the tubes, as well as doing crazy things to his humbuckers like adding hot paraffin wax to eradicate unwanted feedback. Eddie also took harmonics and finger tapping to the next level. The seminal Kreutzer Eruption master work defining Eddie throughout his career.

There are whole libraries dedicated to the intricacies of Eddie’s playing style, and YouTube videos of people trying to recreate his guitar wizardry.

The pioneering 1978 album, up to 1984 with Roth, and a few albums with Hagar were testament to a true musician’s musician. When Van Halen I came out, people thought a fucking alien had landed with a guitar, it was truly something different.

Drop D tuning added to the warm sound on the early records, although kudos also has to go to producer Ted Templeman for his ultimate guiding force in shaping those early masterpieces.

This is a sad, sad day, and a great legend has passed. There is not a dry eye in the DS office, even the cat has a mournful look in his eyes.

Rock’n’roll flags are now flying at half-mast…and the Daily Squib office is officially in a state of mourning.

Wherever Eddie is right now, he’s probably noodling around on the guitar whilst his dad is playing on the clarinet.

Eddie Van Halen just died folks…this shit is real!

 

 

What the Hell Happened to the White House?

Tanya Rider
-
0
What the Hell Happened to the White House?

Instead of Melania’s much loved Christmas decorations, people have been seeing something different in the White House these days.

Nadine Hoffer, a visitor from Montana, drove ten hours with her family to come to the White House to wish President Trump a happy return from hospital when she was confronted by the large alien-like structures.

“We drove all the way from Montana to wish the president a happy recovery from that imaginary disease they all talkin’ about. We don’t wear masks, because we don’t believe in the Covid-19 hoax. It’s just unchristian to wear a mask. I believe in Jesus, he could walk on water, but I don’t believe in coronavirus. If you can’t see it, it ain’t true! But this, what the hell happened here?”

President Trump, who recently discharged himself from hospital despite the wishes of his team of physicians returned to a deserted White House.

“I came back! I called out to everyone! Hey, I’m back! There was no answer. Where’s Kayleigh, where’s the team? I had to walk all the way to the East Wing to find Melania! She said everyone got sick after I infected them all! Then I saw all these growths, yeesh, like big melons with tentacles, kinda like Stormy but with extra bits added!”

No one really knows how to get rid of these things now growing all over the White House, but on some of them there’s a clue — a Made in China stamp. Maybe this would be somewhere to look so the White House can be clean again.

 

Why It’s Acceptable to Wish Death On People if You’re a Leftist

Tanya Rider
-
0
Why It’s Acceptable to Wish Death On People if You’re a Leftist

Many protected socialist celebrities, luvvies, and assorted leftist sputum, are positively celebrated when they wish death on people who are not of their political persuasion. You see the posts on Twitter, and Facebook, casual remarks wishing death on this person, that person.

It’s okay though, these people are supremely protected by double standards, they are in fact celebrated for their vindictive nasty words because anyone who is not a socialist or a communist is effectively the enemy. Josef Stalin, would no doubt have been proud of these people, because he himself wished death on millions of people, and indeed acted upon his wishes by effectively erasing over 23 million humans from the face of the earth as did Chairman Mao by killing 78 million humans.

The people who control social media, are of course of the same political persuasion as the death wishers, and they happily turn a blind eye to these grubby protected celebrity scum, simply because their operation is a biased one where it comes down hard on conservatives, libertarians and anyone else who does not tow the socialist agenda of the day.

If a conservative were to utter a single wishful death notice on some socialist celebrated soviet comrade, all hell would break loose. It would be cancel this, delete that, erase accounts, and even call in the police if necessary, but a leftist is allowed to say the evil things they say, wishing death on people is perfectly viable, because anyone who is not a Marxist socialist is a Nazi. Anyone who is not a socialist or communist generally would not stoop down to the vindictive level of the socialists anyway. For socialists, if a person is slightly to the right of their spectrum they are immediately tarred and feathered, singled out for mob justice, harangued, then expelled forthwith.

Naturally, when the U.S. President Donald J. Trump fell ill with Covid-19 the animals all came out of the woodwork, wishing death upon the president. There was a certain amount of glee amongst the socialists, here was their moment of triumph, and they all patted themselves on the back as they all wished a grizzly painful death for Trump. If the tables had been turned though, and it was a Democrat president who was getting nasty death comments, then the social media companies would come down hard, as would the Marxist morality mob replete with outrage, and incandescent triggered rage.

This is why leftist social networks like Twitter and Facebook, and YouTube are now just socialist echo chambers. The NPCs all spout the same lingo, one says one thing, the others say the same, and they all go around in a big circle jerk yanking each other off to the same platitudes celebrating their superiority over all others. No other opinions are allowed any more, and if anyone dares to step out of line with a thought of their own, the fireworks start with intense ferocity.

The socialists say we are all equal, but that’s certainly not true when it comes to social media and the media in general. Equality only works when they have the ultimate power to ban you for having an opinion they have not thought about or agree with. It is nigh on impossible to search on Google’s search engine any more to find a news source that is not devoutly socialist in nature. The Marxist bias is now so entrenched it is impossible to shift.

 

How to Start Playing in an Online Casino: Beginner’s Guide

Tanya Rider
-
0
How to Start Playing in an Online Casino: Beginner’s Guide

If you are wondering what is one of the most profitable industries in 2020, the answer is simple — online gambling. Although regular casinos are illegal in many states, online casino platforms are thriving.

People play games of chance to entertain themselves after work or even for profit. However, if you are a beginner, you are probably wondering how to start. Since the gambling business is a high risk, we prepared the top tips that will help you get the best possible experience with online casinos.

Choosing the Right Platform

The first thing you need to do is find a suitable platform that will correspond to your goals and needs. Here are some aspects to pay attention to:

  • Reviews

We recommend checking the reviews on the online casino before making a final decision. Read the real feedback of the platform’s clients to see the advantages and disadvantages more clearly. You can always find trustworthy online casinos on special review websites such as easywinnings.net to save your time. However, do not trust everything you see. It is common for casinos to buy fake reviews to attract new players.

  • Legal status

Online gambling means investing your own money. That is why you need to be 100% sure of the platform’s trustworthiness before making a deposit. The easiest way to do that is by making sure that the company is legal and operates with a special gambling licence.

  • Available games

Of course, before making a decision you need to assess the variety of games available on the platform. A good online casino offers different slots, as well as roulette, poker, baccarat, blackjack, etc.

We would also recommend analyzing the deposit/withdrawal methods and terms, the response time of the Support Service, and the quality of software the casino uses.

  • Setting the Limits

Gambling is fun, but it can also become very dangerous if you are not careful and aware enough. Gambling addiction is a very real condition, and to prevent that you need to set limits at the beginning. If you are playing for entertainment purposes, set a limit on the money amount you will invest. It should be the amount that you are willing to lose.

It is also a good idea to limit the time you will spend gambling. Make it a couple of hours a week. It is more than enough to enjoy the games healthily.

Another thing to determine is when to stop playing. You have probably heard stories of players who lost a lot of money but kept going to get it back. To avoid that, set a limit: when to stop playing if you lose or win.

We hope that the tips in the article will help you during your gambling journey honestly and healthily.

1...274275276...805Page 275 of 805
squib footer 270

Breaking News

Copyright © Daily Squib 2024.

The Daily Squib is a curious satirical parody newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news.