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Sunak Pulls a Pint of Pure Tax

“That will be £18.56 please,” a jubilant Rishi Sunak, the unelected autocrat who is the current shoo in Tory PM, said as he pulled a pint for a reporter at a beer festival where he was viciously heckled by attendees.

Increasing tax on everything, including the price of a pint is considered a good election winning tactic by the current socialist Tory remainers, but for everyone else in the country, it is going to be a sure-fire Labour winner.

“Imagine buying a round of drinks for your mates at your local. I can’t afford £20 for a pint because the Tories are taxing everything to death, let alone a round of drinks,” one pub dweller revealed.

The Tory tax hikes could possibly be the final round on pubs as a whole as customers desert them and opt for other avenues to sate their alcohol needs.

“I am making my own beer and gin at home now. It’s the only way I can afford to have a drink,” another former pub goer revealed.

The clueless Tories are thus cruising blindly and casually for a solid beating at the coming General Election, but the thing is these people are not Tories anymore, they are something completely different, and this is why many former Tory voters are abandoning the party in droves. The only other reasonable explanation for this madness is that the Tories are actively working to lose the election on purpose.

Take your heavily taxed pint Sunak and shove it up your fucking arse. If you can’t see you have lost already, you are not only completely deluded but blind as a bat.

The Daily Squib’s Political Satire: Defending Freedom of Speech Against Totalitarianism and the Right to Offend

In an increasingly interconnected world, the right to freedom of speech and the right to offend have become hotly debated topics. Philosophers and thinkers throughout history, like John Stuart Mill, Voltaire, and Thomas Paine, have fervently argued for the importance of free expression as a cornerstone of democracy. In today’s context, the Daily Squib, one of the top political satire sites in the UK, embodies the spirit of these ideals. Through its satirical comedy and fearless commentary, the Daily Squib stands as a bulwark against totalitarian ideologies and a champion of free speech, highlighting the significance of upholding democratic values in a Western society teetering on the edge of authoritarianism.

The Importance of Freedom of Speech and the Right to Offend

John Stuart Mill, was an English philosopher, political economisJohn Stuart Mill, in his seminal work “On Liberty,” eloquently articulated the necessity of freedom of speech. Mill emphasized that the free exchange of ideas, even those deemed offensive or controversial, is vital for societal progress and individual intellectual growth. Similarly, Voltaire’s (François-Marie Arouet) famous sentiment, “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it,” attributed to Evelyn Beatrice Hall in 1919 encapsulates the essence of the right to offend, underscoring the significance of protecting everyone’s right to express their opinions, regardless of societal sensibilities.

Thomas Paine, a Founding Father of the United States, believed in the power of free expression as a crucial mechanism for political dissent and change. These philosophical ideals find resonance in the principles upheld by the political satire of the Daily Squib, where satire becomes a vehicle for challenging authority and speaking truth to power.

The Daily Squib’s Political Satire: A Defender of Free Speech Against Totalitarian Regimes

Cancel CultureIn a world where totalitarian regimes seek to silence dissident voices, the Daily Squib emerges as a fearless proponent of free speech and satire. Totalitarianism thrives on suppressing dissent and stifling opposing viewpoints, but platforms like the Daily Squib refuse to bow to such oppressive tactics. Instead, the Squib employs satire as a potent tool to lampoon political figures, Big Tech, woke ideology and parties, fearlessly criticizing their actions and policies.

Drawing inspiration from historical figures like John Milton, who ardently defended freedom of the press in his work “Areopagitica,” the Daily Squib challenges the very essence of totalitarianism. The site provides a haven for expression, encouraging a diverse range of perspectives and satirical humour that keeps authority figures on their toes. By championing satire as an essential element of free expression, the Daily Squib empowers its readers to question authority, demand transparency, and actively engage in political discourse.

Political Satire as a deterrent against totalitarianism

40% OFF dactylic hexameter political satireThe Juvenalian political satire of the Daily Squib has been at the forefront of satirical commentary, unapologetically taking on totalitarian ideologies like wokism and their attempts to stifle freedom of speech. After a poll revealing that much of Generation Z are in favour of cancelling free speech and rejected the right to privacy, the Daily Squib responded with an article titled “Calling For Less Freedom – Generation Z.” In this piece, the Squib warned of the severe dangers set by an entire generation brainwashed to become radicalised wokist censorious soviet automatons.

Additionally, the Daily Squib did not shy away from criticizing the rise of wokism and the erosion of free speech under the guise of ‘equality’. One article, titled “The Delightful Joys of Being Woke: A Hilarious Journey into the Land of Soviet Awareness,” humorously exposed the excesses of sovietized wokism and the chilling effect it can have on open dialogue.

The Daily Squib’s unwavering commitment to freedom of speech, right to offend, and upholding democratic values mirrors the ideals championed by renowned Western philosophers and thinkers throughout history. By fearlessly challenging totalitarian regimes, criticizing oppressive measures, and using satire as a powerful tool for change, the Daily Squib stands as a staunch defender of democracy. In a world where the right to free expression faces increasing threats, platforms like the Daily Squib remind us of the enduring power of satire and its role in safeguarding our fundamental democratic principles.

REMEMBER – ONCE IT’S GONE – IT’S GONE FOREVER…

No Difference Between Salman Rushdie Knife Attacker and Woke Cancel Culture Censorship

Another Chapter in Evil : Soviet Censorship of Dr Seuss

Latest Global Woke News Bulletin From Your Supreme Comrade

The Woke West Aligning With Communist China With Loss of Democracy

Defiling the Art of Roald Dahl Kills Off the Spirit of Literature

The Grotesque Tragedy of Trigger Warnings on Tragedy

Woke Directive 43725-a Demands Ban of All Humour by 2023

The Cowardly Artists Who Stayed Silent

Banning the Voice of Half a Nation Only Creates More Hatred and Discord

Why the New Intolerant Liberal Voice Beats the Conservative Voice Every Time

Why Independent Thought is Feared by Woke Programmers

The Woke Cannot Create Anything New, They Can Only Mess With the Past

The Woke West Aligning With Communist China With Loss of Democracy

Why Woke Ideology Divides and Destroys Societies

Experts: There Are Aliens Amongst Us

Extra terrestrial beings are most probably among us, and are actively influencing human thought and actions through powerful telepathic means, is the conclusion from several experts from an unnamed clandestine agency.

@tuckystrike WATCH THIS CREEPY MAN!!! Why does he behave like that??!! #fyp #creepy ♬ Creepy simple horror ambient(1270589) – howlingindicator

“Certainly there is evidence of extra terrestrial entities masquerading as humans, and of controlling human minds through telepathic means.

“The human mind is weak compared to some of the beings who visit this planet, and thus humans are easy prey to these entities. You may not believe any of this as it may be too fantastic for your limited world view and your limited intelligence, however humans can only perceive a very limited spectrum of bandwidth information. Humans are severely limited not only in eyesight, hearing, touch sense, but in telepathy. The universal bandwidth of information is vast, and humans can only see a tiny portion of what is available.

“U.S. Air Force intelligence officer David Grusch revealed in a recent Congressional hearing that the government has recovered alien beings in downed craft, and this alone gives some credence to the fact that there are extra terrestrials among us.

“Some of them can inhabit human bodies, or control humans from afar through mind control. It is possible that some of the aliens are shape-shifters, however they only have a limited time to hold human form. Some of the aliens are not friendly to humans, and are actively working at some times to harm humans.

“UAP craft are being held by United States clandestine black projects, mainly for the purpose of back engineering the advanced technology. Antigravity craft technology could revolutionise human civilisation, however this information is being suppressed by the U.S. government upper echelons because the time is not right to introduce such tech.”

Bank For International Settlements Chief Eats 15 Babies Each Morning

General manager of the Bank for International Settlements (BIS), Agustín Carstens, has admitted to a Mexican newspaper that he eats 15-20 babies for breakfast each day.

As well as being one of the pioneers for a future soviet-style centralised global banking currency CBDC, Agustín Carstens has a huge appetite not only for power and control but food.

“Each morning, the servants roll me out of bed then wheel me to my table, where I dine on fresh babies for breakfast. They are delivered from a specialist, untraceable maternity ward solely utilised for elite bankers like me. I like them fresh and plump,” Carstens revealed in a recent editorial piece in the Mexican Times.

The banker weighs just under two tonnes and is known for his prolific hunger pangs during meetings especially.

His secretary revealed that sometimes during meetings he may devour one of the participants if they are not paying attention, or maybe have missed a key target in extorting money from entire nations.

“There was one guy, he was playing with his paper clip too much. Agustin became irritated. He told the man to stand up and announce his name. He likes to know the name of his food for some reason. Anyway, he picked this man up with both hands, then opened his mouth wide like a snake’s jaws. The poor man struggled, but he went in head first with a little crunching sound. The rest of him was slowly absorbed into Agustin’s enormous gut, inch by inch, until only one of his twitching feet was left poking out of Agustin’s mouth. The entire process took less than three minutes and all was left was a shoe and a paper clip,” Hortense de Manchego, Carstens’s secretary, recalled.

“Burp!”

Daily Squib Offering 100 Free Holidays to Europe

Scorchio!!! Yes, these holidays are hot, whether you wish to bask in the flames of Rhodes, or the wildfires of Spain. How about a barbecue in Italy? You will not believe how high and fast these flames will travel on this holiday of a lifetime.

The Squib is offering 100 free holidays to Europe this summer. With temperatures reaching 53 degrees Celsius in some places, you will not be short of sunshine, that’s for sure.

Don’t forget to reserve your sunbed with a beach towel every morning because by noon, not only will the hotel disappear in a hell storm of flames reaching fifty feet into the air, but you won’t have a fucking beach towel or sunbed either. As for the pool, that will simply be a boiling mess full of burned debris.

You will be given a holiday rep to look after you in this all-inclusive flaming holiday of a lifetime, however they may flee and abandon you at any time, depending on the speed of the wildfires coming towards you.

Hades

You ever wanted to know what Dante’s Inferno was like, or maybe Milton’s Paradise Lost? Well, go to Greece and you will get a first-hand experience of what the Bible’s Christian hell is imagined to be, except this time you get little Greek people and tourists jabbering inanely as they uselessly through tiny buckets of water onto 25 feet high fast moving brush fires surrounding them from all four sides.

Wildfires in extreme heat conditions have been occurring on earth for millions of years, but this is of course a great opportunity to spout some more useless shit about carbon emissions just to add to the general fucking annoyance of seeing entire towns being gulped up by blistering flames. Humans chose to build their homes and hotels on these forest areas, so who is to blame here? Yep, overpopulation and human encroachment on nature, and once in a while mother nature needs to clean house.

Anyway, we fucking digress…

To win one of 100 holidays to Europe which will be a one way trip, all-inclusive, please send a postcard to: Scorchio Holiday Comp. P.O. Box 4392, London, WNQ 3R. You must include the competition answer to this question: If you throw a lit cigarette onto dry grass in a forest during a heat wave, will there be…?

a) Fire

b) Huge fires spreading everywhere

c) Immense, huge, insane level fires burning everything down

 

World Economic Forum Introduces ‘Minus Net Zero’

Zero for you fucker, that’s what you deserve from the World Economic Forum’s Klaus ‘Himmler’ Schwab.

“It’s not only Net Zero, we want Minus Net Zero. You, you fucking serf, you do not deserve to own a car, you do not deserve to own a house, you do not deserve to own anything. You do not deserve to produce carbon emissions, you do not deserve to breathe. Net Zero is NOT ENOUGH! We want MINUS NET ZERO for complete assurance. You are a carbon life form, you create carbon waste, you are a burden on this planet. You will NOT survive, you do not deserve to utter a single breath, you do not deserve to breed, you do not deserve anything but cancellation, liquidation. We will make it so, we will make you so woke and mentally unstructured under our fundamental control that you will feel ashamed of your own existence. When we click our fingers, you will delete your carbon footprint forever, because this earth does not belong to you. This earth only belongs to the elite and their children. We will eat grass fed organic Filet Mignon, we will live in luxury, we will travel the globe in our private jets, we will complete our dreams, and we will own everything including your very own soul, your pathetic minds are ours to own, your assets are under our full control, and we see only a future of Minus Net Zero for you…scum of the earth!”

Luxury Migrant Tourist Barge to Entice More Illegal Migrants to UK

With daily guided tours of the beautiful Dorset coast, cricket tournaments, TV games rooms, and the freedom to roam the quaint villages and towns dotted along the coast, the government’s multimillion luxurious Dutch barge will house 500 illegal migrants who cross the Channel in rubber dinghies. Of course, this is only a small number compared to the thousands crossing the Channel daily into Britain. The rest are put up in 4 or 5-star hotels and then fast tracked to be given the full benefits packages in Britain’s already overcrowded cities and towns.

Come to Britain – Illegally

The luxurious barge is simply a Tory election fiasco which will most certainly ensure heavy losses for the ailing party in the next General Election.

Many Britons can barely afford to eat, let alone fix their leaking roofs, yet the illegal migrants receive absolute luxury, free meals paid for by the UK taxpayer, free taxis whenever they want and loads of entertainment. As for Britain’s homeless population left on the cold, dank streets to rot, if they could just have a day or so of such kindness and luxury on a barge like that would do them a world of good. Britain’s brave veterans who served their country are not treated to such luxury.

Luxury Barge Amenities and Activities

  • Free taxis are available by phoning a special number.
  • Free food, accommodation and transport, each migrant is given £9.58 a week pocket money.
  • Food is available 24 hours a day, and the cross-Channel ferry-style canteen serves breakfast and a three-course lunch and dinner. Breakfast choices include eggs, pancakes, bread and yoghurts, lunch options include potato soup, garlic chicken, Irish stew, and roast turkey with rice, and some of the dinners are paella, fried fish and oriental chicken. There are bottles of Ribena and Heinz tomato ketchup.
  • Free buses every hour from 7am to 11pm will ferry men to the nearby seaside resort of Weymouth, with its beach, fishing boat fleet and marina.
  • Free internet facilities with free vocational courses on multiple subjects.
  • Free gym and games room with current PS5 and Xbox with latest games.
  • Medical room with a nurse, and a GP on call.
  • Rooms cleaned every day by maids. HD TVs with satellite channels in every room.
  • Outdoor recreational areas, each about 80ft by 30ft, with ‘basketball, netball and volleyball’ matches.
  • Cultural activities are on offer from the local council, including ‘guided hikes, cycling, cricket and the chance to use allotments’ along with ‘community events’.

It pays to illegally migrate

The Daily Mail was given an exclusive government tour of the luxury barge, where the illegal migrants will be waited on hand and foot by servants and maids.

 

Holiday brochure

“This is like a holiday brochure for me and my crew. When I saw this, it made my mind up, I will be leaving France for sure tomorrow. I cannot wait to receive free food, luxury housing, gym, and free taxi rides to your towns, so I can fuck your English girls in the ass — with or without permission. I heard loose English girls like it in the bung hole. Furthermore, I have a very hard wood right now just thinking about what I am going to do to your pale white English girls,” Abdullah Jamal Sanjak, a cut-throat, rapist and professional pickpocket from Baghdad, Iraq told the BBC.

Instead of deterring illegal migrants, the luxurious Dorset barge is an invitation, and millions more migrants are getting ready to cross the Channel illegally.

Boom for traffickers

Traffickers in France have seen a huge upsurge in orders to cross the Channel and their profits are increasing at an almost exponential rate.

“When they [illegal migrants] saw the Daily Mail tour of the deluxe barge, my phone kept ringing off the hook. We are now having to source dinghies from as far as Denmark and Italy because boats are all sold out here. Today I made over 185,000 euros just in orders. I will celebrate tonight with the chief of Gendarmerie in Calais with a dozen French whores and a grand slap-up meal banquet,” Ghaith Hamsa, a French Algerian member of a prominent human trafficking unit, told Euronews.

Here’s to another sure-fire Tory election winner.

Luxury Adventures in Bulgaria: Unveiling Hidden Gems in Style

Have you ever yearned for a trip that combines rich culture, unspoiled landscapes, and luxe accommodations with exciting adventures? Look no further than a luxury holiday in Bulgaria. Brimming with striking mountains, sun-soaked coastline, and quaint villages, Bulgaria’s hidden gems are waiting for you to discover them.

A Prelude to Bulgarian Enchantment

Although Bulgaria is still lesser-known than its European counterparts, it is starting to receive the recognition it deserves. The country harbours a unique blend of mesmerising landscapes, archaeological treasures, and contemporary luxuries. Bulgaria’s charm lies not only in its opulence but also in its authenticity. The question isn’t whether to embark on a luxury holiday in Bulgaria, but how to plan one that perfectly suits your sophisticated travel tastes.

The Luxury Journey Begins: Sofia

accordion-4803200_640Your luxurious adventure in Bulgaria should ideally start in the country’s cosmopolitan capital, Sofia. With its unique mix of contemporary architecture and antique landmarks, Sofia sets the perfect tone for the luxe adventure. You can explore the rich history of the city by visiting iconic sites such as the Alexander Nevsky Cathedral, or indulge in world-class shopping at the high-end boutiques on Vitosha Boulevard.

In Sofia, you will find some of the best hotels in Bulgaria. Sofia’s hotel scene is an amalgamation of grandeur and style, with properties like the Sense Hotel offering panoramic city views and a rooftop lounge. Another luxe gem is the Hotel Anel, known for its exceptional service and large collection of Bulgarian art.

Mountain Splendour: Bansko

skiing-bulgaria 840538_640No luxury holiday in Bulgaria is complete without experiencing its scenic mountains. Travel to Bansko, the premium ski destination nestled in the Pirin Mountains. Known for its stunning views, outdoor sports, and traditional “mehanas” (taverns), Bansko promises an unforgettable mountain experience.

Stay in luxurious resorts like the Kempinski Hotel Grand Arena, offering exceptional ski facilities and rejuvenating spa services. With helicopter rides to untouched skiing areas and wine tastings in their wine cellar, you’ll experience the true essence of luxury.

Cultural Richness: Plovdiv

museum-5443083_1280

Next, immerse yourself in the rich culture and history of Plovdiv, one of the world’s oldest inhabited cities. Take a leisurely stroll around the old town, packed with beautifully preserved Roman, Byzantine and Ottoman architecture.

Luxury boutique hotels like Residence City Garden offer a tranquil retreat with spacious suites and fine dining. The cultural city tour ends with a world-class opera performance at the Ancient Roman Amphitheatre, a night you’ll remember for years to come.

Black Sea Delight: Varna

sunset-7682734_1280

Varna, the seaside city on the Black Sea coast, provides a unique blend of beach life, historical exploration, and luxury lifestyle. The coastline brims with stylish beach resorts offering plush accommodations and high-end dining options.

A stay at the Grand Hotel London, one of the best hotels in Bulgaria, ensures an exclusive experience with its antique-themed rooms and renowned Le Bistro restaurant. With a yacht charter, you can sail the calm sea waters and enjoy a delightful evening with champagne and canapés.

Wine Tasting Extravaganza: Melnik

bulgaria-7390896_1280Bulgaria’s smallest town, Melnik, is famous for its robust wines and sand pyramids. Embark on a bespoke wine tour, which will take you to some of the best wineries, where you can taste indigenous Bulgarian wines and learn about their rich wine-making tradition.

Spend your night in a beautifully restored Bulgarian Revival house, like the Zornitza Family Estate, where you can pair your wine with gourmet Bulgarian cuisine. Here, the luxury lies in the harmony of tradition and sophistication.

Spa Bliss: Hisarya

Known for its thermal springs, Hisarya is a wellness paradise. This spa town, surrounded by a preserved Roman wall, is the ideal place to rejuvenate after your adventurous journey. Unwind in luxury spa resorts like the Spa Hotel Hissar, offering top-of-the-line spa treatments and wellness programmes.

Hisarya isn’t just about relaxation, though. The town is also an archaeologist’s dream, with well-preserved Roman ruins like the Ancient Roman Thermae and the South Gate, or “Camels,” which serve as a testimony to the town’s rich past. Indulge in the ultimate luxury of time, by spending a day exploring these historical sites at a leisurely pace.

Culinary Feast: Burgas

harvest-2460137_640Last, but by no means least, your luxury holiday in Bulgaria would be incomplete without immersing yourself in its culinary delights. And Burgas, a vibrant city on the Black Sea coast, is the perfect place to embark on this gastronomic journey.

Savour a seafood extravaganza at The Sea Terrace, an upscale restaurant that offers the freshest catches against the backdrop of the sea. For a more traditional experience, the local “mehanas” serve authentic Bulgarian dishes, prepared with locally sourced ingredients. The true luxury in Burgas is the food, which, paired with the world-class

Bulgarian wine, creates an unmatchable culinary experience. Luxury isn’t always about the grandeur; sometimes, it’s about savouring the little things life has to offer, and in Bulgaria, that includes its rich and delicious cuisine.

A luxury holiday in Bulgaria offers not just opulence, but also an immersive cultural experience. Bulgaria is a place where the old meets new, where tradition blends seamlessly with luxury.

Unveil these hidden gems at your own pace, whilst staying in some of the best hotels in Bulgaria, dining in gourmet restaurants, and basking in the exclusive experiences designed just for you. After all, there’s nothing like discovering a country’s true charm while being enveloped in sheer luxury. The memories you make in Bulgaria will surely have a tinge of gold, a sign of the luxury that awaited you at every turn.

Harry and Meghan Offered Air Force 552 After Air Force One Snub

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were snubbed by Joe Biden after the Queen’s death when they demanded they take a trip on Air Force One back to the USA from the UK.

Things have not been going well for the entitled, spoiled couple who demand to be treated like royalty despite not doing anything royal.

The egotistical Sussexes have been ostracized by the Emmys and have lost their Spotify contract in recent months. Additionally, they have encountered significant setbacks at Netflix, and were reportedly blackballed by Joe Biden.

After the Queen’s funeral, Harry and Meghan demanded a ride with Joe Biden back to the US in Air Force One – but had their request refused.

Instead of Air Force One, the couple were offered a decrepit old aeroplane with parts literally falling off the wings and fuselage.

“We offered the two grifters, Air Force 552 instead of Air Force One. There was only one parachute and it had large moth balls in it. There is no toilet on the plane, and it stinks of bird shit because the birds have been nesting in it for over 50 years,” a U.S. Air Force spokesman revealed.

Naturally, the duo refused to go on Air Force 552, instead opting for a UK taxpayer funded private jet trip costing $3.5 million back to their 16 room mansion in Montecito.

Just Stop Oil: ‘3,092 Operating Coal-fired Power Plants in China’

“Hello, I am a Just Stop Oil moron. My organisation of rich kids and hypocrites are all a bunch of cowards who do not dare address the real global polluters like China/India or the USA. There are a total of 3,092 operating coal-fired power plant units in China. As of January 2023, the province of Shandong, which lies to the south of Beijing, houses the greatest number of coal power plants, at over 400 units. Datang Tuoketue is the largest operational coal power plant by capacity in China. The power station is located in Inner Mongolia and at 6.7 gigawatts is also the largest coal power plant in the world.

“At Just Stop Oil, we are a bunch of complete morons and this is why we completely ignore the real polluters of the earth and because the UK, a tiny island, is an easy touch, we are concentrating on disrupting this miniscule country instead. Our cowardice is exemplified by the fact that we are scared shitless of protesting in places like China, which is ruled by the brutal communist party CCP. Despite our Marxist beliefs, we are afraid of being thrown in a Chinese jail and brutally beaten with electric batons until we bleed out of our fucking eyes, as is the usual practice in China.

“New analysis shows that China’s CO2 emissions grew 4% in the first quarter of 2023, compared with a year earlier. This means first-quarter emissions were the highest on record, exceeding the previous peak reached in the first three months of 2021. But, that is of no consequence to us at Just Stop Oil. We ignore such statistics because we support China, and all Just Stop Oil lemmings are proud communists.

“If Britain were to completely disappear today, it would make no difference to global carbon emissions and pollution because countries like China would continue spewing millions of tonnes of shit into the atmosphere. Thank you for reading this. I am the spokesperson for Just Stop Oil, and I approve of our cowardly tactics in the inconsequential UK. We hope to disrupt ambulances reaching hospitals and urgent journeys in London as long as we can virtue signal to our shit stain dingleberry Marxist supporters to disrupt your capitalist ways before we return to mama and papa in our Chelsea fucking mansions.”