17.7 C
London
Sunday, February 8, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 48

Illegal Invaders Demand International Recognition For Illegal Invasion

0

Illegal invaders who illegally invaded a sovereign country are now demanding international recognition for the land they illegally invaded and now claim as their own.

Russia has rejected the Ukraine war peace deal proposed by Donald Trump, because it does not grant international recognition to territory seized by Putin’s troops.

Amongst a large list of grandiose demands, the clinically insane Sergey Lavrov, who calls himself the Russian foreign minister, demanded the resignation of the Ukrainian president, Volodymyr Zelensky, and the throttling of the Ukraine military, as well as the territory Russia stole be accepted by the international community.

Lavrov also demanded the lifting of all sanctions, withdrawing lawsuits, returning frozen Russian assets and cancelling arrest warrants for Russian war crimes.

Anything else sir? How about a cherry on top, or maybe a fucking Molotov cocktail to suit?

Monopoly Money: Trump is Destroying the Dollar

0

Soon the almighty greenback, the motherfuckin’ dollar is going to be worth shit, because entire nations are dumping the buck, like it was a quick fuck, and no one gives a dime.

Why is the dollar being dumped, you may ask? Well, in real simple terms, Trump thinks that dumping the dollar will make exports cheaper, but in doing so, US equities are going to get walloped and dumped in the garbage dump, and inflation is going to rise like no one has ever seen it before. Think about it, if a dollar ain’t worth a piece of shit, well, your loaf of bread is going to cost a wheelbarrow of dollars.

The boys at the Fed will get that quantitative easing thing going on in a panic, and bring out the printing presses to print millions of more dollars. This action will make things even worse as the laws of supply and demand dictate and inflation will continue its upward trajectory at an exponential rate.

dxy

This whole scheme of currency manipulation is a crock, and there was Trump berating China for doing it when he’s dumping dollars like they have a disease or something.

Americans better not think about travelling outside the US anytime soon, because they won’t be able to buy anything. You try buying something when you get 20 pennies back for every 10 dollar bill you present.

The world’s No.1 reserve currency? The dollar has fallen over 4.5% in April, with its biggest monthly drop since late 2022, as investors dump US assets, sparking more sell-offs as the real panic sets in.

Yep, it’s squeaky bum time.

Hit the Energy: Russian Hackers Having Field Day in Europe Blackout

0

It’s all fun and games for the state backed Russian Sandworm hackers as they shut down the electricity grids in Spain, Portugal and parts of France.

A massive power outage appears to have possibly been caused by a cyberattack and Net Zero vulnerabilities. Monday’s outage has affected the entirety of Spain, as well as parts of Portugal and reportedly France. Factor in Net Zero making the entire energy grid system even more vulnerable to attacks, and you are inviting imminent disaster. In times of war, Net Zero is the last thing anyone should be thinking of implementing.

airports spain
Spanish airports are in chaos after the electricity is cut off by hackers

Major cities including Madrid, Seville and Lisbon have been hit by the power outage, leaving residents without electricity and mobile signal.

Lest we forget the recent exercise by the WEF.

This attack reveals how easy it is to incapacitate European countries, who are living in cloud-cuckoo-land in their EU utopia. It seems they have completely forgotten about Russia, or how to defend themselves.

The Russians meanwhile are conducting a little show of what they are capable of, maybe a few tests here or there to check out the weak points. No doubt, there will be very convoluted reasons presented for the blackout, and the official reason could be very different.

They could also hit the internet, and the water utility systems, which would cause even more chaos. Metros, airports, shops, and residents are without power, and mobile phone masts are down too.

The key factor here is that the EU is vulnerable, and this attack indicates that the Russians could maybe plough through the continent in less than a week, if they implement a multipronged attack plan. This is exactly why the UK needs to be prepared, and compound their military strength sharpish and if the country is to survive in any capacity — fuck Net Zero.

Comrades, Your Council Tax Rises Pay For Crucial 4-Star Hotels For Fake Asylum Seekers

2

Comrades, we have great news regarding your council tax payments going up by as much as 60% per annum. Yes, you are paying for a great service to house all the young leering men from Third World countries like France who have come to the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain on rubber dinghies across the Channel. Your help is crucial for housing these fake asylum seekers in luxury 4-star hotels where they can enjoy room service 24 hours a day and massages, along with gym sessions and excursions to the local areas where they can leer at all the English girls, maybe dabbling in a bit of how’s your father.

In this respect, comrades, we need you plebs to work longer hours in your dead-end jobs and to be thankful that you are providing a service to the hundreds of thousands of fake asylum seekers who come to our illustrious shores each month.

Because of the deluge of illegal visitors to the PRSB, the NHS, schools, and transport services will be limited due to the increase in numbers. Benefits for citizens will be cut and funds diverted to the 4-star hotels housing the fake asylum seekers in luxury. Your council tax increases will help to pay for the 4-star hotels.

All public services which were previously available to citizens will not be available except for high party Labour members, train drivers, civil servants, NHS, union and council bosses.

INGSOC NOTICE 094032-00494923987-7128492746873-034223-F21-A65

JOHN SMITH, 43, OF 109 TONYBLIAR ROAD, ROMFORD, SECTOR 231, ENGLAND, HAS BEEN JAILED FOR LIFE IN GRIMSBY GULAG 43-A FOR VOICING HIS CONCERNS ABOUT THE THOUSANDS OF FAKE ASYLUM SEEKERS IN HIS AREA. HE WAS FOUND OUT AND REPORTED BY HIS MANAGER WHILST AT WORK ON MONDAY. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!

Hygienic Indian Street Food Style Stalls Coming to the UK

0

The UK is now adapting Indian street food style stalls at every corner, with an English touch of course.

India has a wonderful vibrant culture with the streets teeming with vendors, street food, shops, elephants, cows, bicycles, scooters and even thousands upon thousands of big juicy bluebottle flies.

Well, we’ve got the fever in the UK, we also want a bit of the delicious looking delights the Indians eat daily. Forget about such trivial matters like hygiene, if you sneeze, make sure it’s into the pot. Indian street food is renowned around the world for its culinary excellence.

Bare feet are essential, and ear wax. Did you know that if you dump your ear wax into the food, it adds a lovely piquancy to the overall taste of the dish? Never wash your hands before handling food, it is sacrilegious to do so. Instead, embellish the culinary delights you create with all sorts of bacteria that you will never know or care about.

The stuff that builds up between your toes, rub it with gusto, dig the fuckers out and flick into the food. It’s ready to serve, just like they do in Bhangarabad or some other exotic location in Southall.

Fury as “Two-word” Comment Sums Up Daily Express Headline

7

This seems to be the new word counting format for headlines at the Daily Express these days, where fluff seems to be de rigueur.

No this is not about the exciting 7-word comment that Trump made to Melania, or the 4-word putdown about the latest Meghan PR failure, instead it is about the Daily Express and has stoked fury amongst its readers and staffers alike.

Naturally, the key is to not give away much in the headline, and the first three quarters of the article has to build up to the “information” the reader was initially searching for whilst clicking on the clickbait article.

When you finally get to the so-called x-word(s) comment referenced in the title, you tragically realise it is just another clickbait article, as is much on the internet these days. If you have an adblocker on your browser like 99% of internet users have, you will have been spared the pop-ups, the pop-downs, the flashing boxes, the myriad of garish ads bombarding your eyeballs, and you will continue doom-scrolling the internet(s).

Oh, and the 2-word comment was “really predictable”.

No doubt, the furious DE response to this DS outrage will be the age-old 2-word remedy — “fuck off!”

Unfortunately China is Now Too Big to Fail

1

The Marxists in the West who built up China over the decades have created a grotesque, over-sized monster that if throttled and subdued will cause irreparable damage to the West. Cue Trump, et voila, he’s trying to put a spanner in the works with China with all these insane tariffs but in doing so it damages the USA, therefore it is rather counterproductive to say the least.

The fact is that China is preparing for war, irrespective of trade tariffs or anything else. It has already built up its military, it has already factored in economic losses, it has already stolen as much intellectual property as it could from the West, now is the time for action.

What Trump has to do now is row back on the tariffs, and utilise other means to form a more level playing field within the world of commerce. This is why there is an IMF, and the International Monetary Fund can be utilised to steer the Chinese threat away with less corrosive methods that will cause only modest fear in the markets and not total collapse.

The stock markets are ruled by jumping jackasses who go crying to the sell button as soon as anything happens. The cowardice and fear that is the stick, a lot of the time, supersedes the carrot. This is what Trump possibly does not understand, as he goes clod hopping all over the fucking place without a thought for the intricate nuances and complex global economic systems that keep supply chains moving.

In all respects, there has to be a “no man” amongst all the “yes men” in the White House somewhere to whisper the hard truths to Trump and not be afraid to do so either. That’s the only thing that will preserve some kind of sanity within the entire shit show.

Yes, China is a threat, but shooting yourself in the foot with a Blunderbuss is an even bigger fucking threat.

 

Giuffre Does an Epstein

0

It never ends well for the compromised. As intermittent news filters through that Virginia Giuffre, much like Jeffrey Epstein, has allegedly committed suicide, many will take that at face value, but others will understand.

Squealers, and those who have the potential to squeal, do not live long, and both Epstein and Giuffre were victims of this very doctrine.

For some reason, Robert Maxwell’s daughter is hanging in there. There have been no weird Diana/Giuffre car crashes, no entire racks of CCTVs mysteriously being switched off, and no hushed up suicides dismissed by “investigators” as not suspicious.

What does Maxwell have up her sleeve that has somehow protected her thus far? If she is bluffing, they will soon find out, and it will be another “suicide” or “accident” or “prison fight” or simply “ill health”.

The key to the system hierarchy is that things have to look natural. They do not do “messy”, they like clean jobs that look authentic. Time is also a factor depending on the case, of course. Retribution will always come.

Time for a celebratory slap-up meal at the Woking Pizza Express.

 

Experts: Britain Needs to be More Serious About War and Defence

9

In uncertain times like this, economic turmoil always precedes physical war. The scenario of indeterminacy underlines a predominant global movement towards all out global warfare, whether it is the South China Sea, Ukraine, Kashmir, Syria, Sudan, Yemen wherever …

The British people need to be prepared. War is coming, and when it does, those who are not prepared will be caught short. Every family must have provisions for at least a month, minimum. Water, food, batteries, solar, medicine, and even though it is illegal to defend yourself in the UK, have a few baseball bats handy. Depending on the event, there may not be any police around or any other assistance.

Britain should adopt a long-term military mindset, with military training in schools. Compulsory military service should be re-introduced for all citizens of age. The youth need to be taught useful skills that would be actionable on a battlefield. The right to own guns for responsible citizens should be re-instated.

Military spending should be increased by over 60% instead of spending money on wasteful, profligate Net Zero projects and welfare. The budget for welfare can be absorbed by the military by moving many welfare recipients directly into the military system, where they will be trained.

Britain needs to open up the reserves of remaining gas, and start digging and exploring for more oil fields within its waters. Fracking is perfectly safe and will open millions of tonnes of resources. Open up the coal mines. Open up the shipyards, and the steel factories. Net Zero is a utopian dream that can only work with a population reduced by 90%. It leaves Britain especially vulnerable in a war scenario.

When Russia/China attacks, the internet cables/satellites will be the first thing to go. Multiple points will most probably be destroyed. Britain’s infrastructure must therefore be able to switch immediately to other means of communication and administration. If there is an EMP burst, Faraday cages must be utilised to protect electronics.

There is no certainty of any help from the UK government under Labour, or the United States, or the EU. In this regard, many citizens will have to fend for themselves, although it is hoped that there will be some assistance from the current administration, they are wholly incompetent.

Be prepared now.

https://www.army.mod.uk/army-careers/

https://recruitment.raf.mod.uk/

https://www.royalnavy.mod.uk/careers/joining-process/eligibility

https://www.gchq-careers.co.uk/jobs.html

 

 

Great Combat Footage: Ukraine Soldiers Ambush Russians in Donetsk

1

The combat footage is almost like a CoD game, and involves the brave soldiers of the Police Rifle Battalion ambushing a number of Russian soldiers in the Donetsk region, towards Toretsk.

The Ukrainians are utilising drones to assist their soldiers in rooting out and finishing off the Russian invaders. Some drones are also armed with explosives and can cause devastating damage to a human body. Russian conscripts are literally being blown to bits, some flying in all directions. They are abandoned by their platoons when injured or lost. The Russian command structure treats their soldiers like cannon fodder. We cannot show the videos here out of discretion.

The lifespan of most Russian conscripts is about three weeks, if they are lucky. Unfortunately, possibly the same for the Ukrainians.

This is trench warfare but with a twist, there is nowhere to hide because the air is swarming with drones. In WW1 and WW2, there was no such technology, therefore soldiers had a better chance of survival. This is not the case any more.

Future warfare will include more robotics, and more drones. China is developing vast arrays of military capable robots. Russia is presumably doing the same.

We are on the cusp of a deadly turn of modern warfare, where humans will be deemed almost useless on the battlefield.