17.7 C
London
Saturday, January 24, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 284

Last Stand at ANTIFA Corral

Russell Vai
-
0
Last Stand at ANTIFA Corral

There was real fear in the eyes of the spindly boys dressed all in black with face masks. This time it looked like there was no way out — it was a stand-off between ANTIFA and MAGA, and all exits were blocked.

Had the ANTIFA high command committed a major error by directing this particular Bolshevik brigade to the suburbs? There was confusion in the voice of one comrade as he suddenly noticed their flanks filled with bristling MAGA boys, and they looked way bigger than the effeminate soy milk drinking ANTIFA crew.

Fear quickly turned to pussy flapping terror as more MAGA troops converged on the tittering ANTIFA Bolshevik comrades in arms. One ANTIFA boy made a series of loose soy farts purely out of fear, but their commissar told them to stand their ground. That’s when the ditch beckoned, a mass of black clad ANTIFA and Old Glory carrying MAGA troops determined to protect their neighbourhood from any rioting or looting, piled in.

This was not the Battle of Gettysburg, especially with the almost comical ‘combat’ abilities of the scrawny ANTIFA troops. They were simply no match for these steak eating MAGA men who were pounding down on the ANTIFA crew as if they were pounding corn. One little ANTIFA boy stood up and threw a water bottle at a MAGA soldier, bouncing off his head harmlessly. It is doubtful that the MAGA man even felt the bottle ricochet off his vast head, as he took the boy, who probably urinated in his own trousers as he was put in a choke hold by very large arms.

During the great ditch battle, one ANTIFA coward, overwhelmed by the sheer force of the MAGA crew, took it upon himself to take out a knife. That’s when the Stars and Stripes upon a flagpole made a welcome entrance into the fight. The flag pole was used to push the knife away and the cowardly ANTIFA boy lost the fight, as did the rest of his crew.

That glorious battle on that particular day was a tiny example of what would happen if the designated domestic terrorist Marxist group ANTIFA tried anything significant. Testosterone and real masculine power wins every time when it comes down to the wire, plus American patriots are good shots, these people are practically born with Colts in their hands. By the age of five, if you can’t shoot a quarter thrown in the air from 100 yards, you ain’t shit.

ANTIFA communists would therefore not have a chance in a civil war, they would be wiped clean off the map, as would most American socialists who don’t even know what to do with those guns they hate so much. Bloodbath comes to mind.

The American communists should thus beware of wishing upon a civil war, because when it comes, they’ll be the first to die.

Ironic That BLM ANTIFA Heroes Karl Marx and Engels Thought Blacks Closer to Animal Kingdom Than Whites

Russell Vai
-
0
Ironic That BLM ANTIFA Heroes Karl Marx and Engels Thought Blacks Closer to Animal Kingdom Than Whites

The communist heroes of Black Lives Matter and ANTIFA – Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels – were avowed racists who not only resented ‘lazy’ Mexicans but thought black people were closer to animals in opposition to the highly evolved biological nature of white people.

“Manifesto of the Communist Party”

Isn’t it ironic to see the communist flags flying at ANTIFA and BLM protests/riots and to hear the idiotic sputum spewing coming from one of the BLM founders, Cullors, that she is a trained Marxist is additionally hilarious to behold?

Have these morons not read Das Kapital or any of the letters that Marx wrote to Engels where blatantly racist statements against blacks and Mexicans are casually bandied about?

The proof of the pudding is in the eating, BLM and ANTIFA are replete with illiterate idiots who have not even bothered to read the literature of their supposed heroes that they tout at every opportunity.

Writing to Engels, in reference to his socialist political competitor Ferdinand Lassalle, Karl Marx wrote:

It is now completely clear to me that he, as is proved by his cranial formation and his hair, descends from the Negroes who had joined Moses’ exodus from Egypt, assuming that his mother or grandmother on the paternal side had not interbred with a n*gger. Now this union of Judaism and Germanism with a basic Negro substance must produce a peculiar product.

Engels equally expressed Marx’s racial language and disdain when describing the qualities of ‘n*ggers’ holding qualities closer to the animal kingdom than highly evolved whites.

In 1887, Paul Lafargue, who was Marx’s son-in-law, was a candidate for a council seat in a Paris district that contained a zoo. Engels racially commented that Lafargue was tainted by “one-eighth or one-twelfth n*gger blood.”

In a letter to Lafargue’s wife, Engels wrote:

Being in his quality as a n*gger, a degree nearer to the rest of the animal kingdom than the rest of us, he is undoubtedly the most appropriate representative of that district.

It seems communists are just as racist as their opposite in the political spectrum — the fascists. Both ideologies are extremities of the political frequency, and have condemned 100s of millions of people to death.

Whoever is really pulling the strings of BLM and ANTIFA behind the scenes must be giggling their ass off every day. I mean you are getting these people to supposedly protest against racism and do it in the name of Karl Marx, who is probably laughing his ass off in hell as well. Useful idiots or not, the BLM mobs have been taken for fools in the most embarrassing way.

What about Chinese Maoist communists, they love black people, right?

Sure they do, that’s why Africans are denied entry into restaurants or hotels, and treated worse than animals in Guangzhou province.

 

So, why do ANTIFA and BLM hold the Chinese communist flag up high? It’s quite obvious that they are manned by stupid people who do not know what they are doing, whilst all the while, the Chinese communists are laughing at them.

Frankly, it’s embarrassing that these supposedly ‘anti-racism’ groups have adopted heroes and political systems created and run by avowed racists.

One can only conclude that BLM and ANTIFA are sham organisations and anyone who supports these groups does not know who is truly pulling the strings behind the scenes, using misguided ill-educated people as pawns in a way bigger game than they can ever comprehend.

Somehow, despite the evidence, it is highly unlikely we are ever going to witness a Karl Marx statue being toppled by BLM or ANTIFA mobs any time soon.

Former Prince Harry in American Earthquake Shocker

Russell Vai
-
0
Former Prince Harry in American Earthquake Shocker

Poor former prince, Harry, has been embroiled in another drama, this time thankfully nothing to do with his wife, Meghan but a 4.2 magnitude Californian earthquake.

According to reports, the prince’s head was shaken to the left and to the right, and there was a sound much like a little pebble in a bucket as his head went back and forth during the length of the tremors.

“The former royal was shaken. We had to send for a physician as we were worried about the sound emanating from inside Harry’s skull. When the doctor eventually came and examined Harry, he firmly concluded that the rattling sound was caused by the former prince’s miniscule brain moving around the large empty skull area,” a concerned servant revealed.

Dr. Saul Hyams MD, revealed his prognosis of the situation.

“I would have to have the patient undergo x-rays first before making a conclusive diagnosis, however with the current evidence, what we have rattling around Harry’s skull is a miniature brain, I estimate the size of an acorn. Thus, when the patient moves his head abruptly, there is a rattling sound much like a die being thrown in a casino.”

There are never any earthquakes in England of any note, therefore this deficiency has never been addressed before, although the former prince’s intelligence quota results may have subtly alluded to the issue beforehand.

Harry and Meghan are currently holed up in a new Californian Santa Barbara mansion gladly bought for a cool £15 million. Harry’s dad, Prince Charles is said to have paid for it all.

Meanwhile, the doctor has advised Harry to wear a helmet at all times to protect his miniature brain, especially as there may be aftershocks.

What Determines the Cost of an Automobile Catalyst

Russell Vai
-
0
What Determines the Cost of an Automobile Catalyst

The price of a catalyst doesn’t always depend on the car brand. Sometimes engineers install inexpensive converters in the exhaust system of premium vehicles and vice versa. You can easily find both cheap and pricey catalysts for your car model. The cost mostly depends on the characteristics, condition, overall amount of precious metals, and the manufacturer of a particular catalyst.

Pricing Variables of a Catalytic Converter

It is important for any driver to understand clearly, what determines the cost of a catalyst. The higher standard, the higher price, and more precious metals are contained in the device. Nowadays, the highest concentration is typical for Japanese and German models.

The price is determined by the following factors:

  • the market for which a particular model was designed;
  • car brand;
  • car class;
  • engine capacity;
  • fuel type (gas or diesel).

If you are going to buy a used catalytic converter, look for any signs of wear and tear. Remember, that a converter in damaged condition can damage your engine. Besides, the metal coating burns out over time, and the converter becomes useless.

How to Pay Less for a Catalyst

Catalysts are an integral part of your vehicle. In many countries using a car without one is prohibited, but technically an automobile can be operated in this way. That is why many car owners tend to remove a catalyst in order to save money, but this is not the most optimal decision. Remember, that your vehicle emits toxic compounds and will fail the next technical inspection.

But there are some ways to pay less for a catalytic converter. First of all, it is always better to look for car parts and any other stuff on the Internet rather than visit offline stores. How many good car parts shops do you know in your city or town? A global network provides you a chance not to be limited. For example, visit autocatalystmarket.com/us/en. This website is popular with drivers caring for their vehicles. Here you can easily find a good catalyst for an affordable price.

There are two major types of catalysts: bolt-on and universal. The price of the second one is lower, so if you need to save more money for replacing the converter, you should choose this variant. In addition, it is easier to install a universal catalyst, as it has no pipes and flanges of bolt-on parts. From the functional point of view, there is no difference.

It is not always needed to replace the whole node, sometimes it is enough just to buy a new internal element for your old catalyst. Consult a car mechanic on whether such a replacement is relevant in your case.

Image by Ryan McGuire from Pixabay

Germans Closing Some Schools After Teacher Catches Coronavirus

Russell Vai
-
0
Germans Closing Some Schools After Teacher Catches Coronavirus

This coronavirus is an unrelenting monster that moves forward consuming its prey without morals or mercy, and as schools opened in some districts in Germany, they are closing just as quickly. The coronavirus is infecting teachers, and students alike, within the state of Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania.

The efficient nature of German systems means that officials act decisively and quickly to eliminate further risks.

In the UK there has been a major up tick recorded of COVID-19 cases today to 1,062 since June 25.

Despite the increase in cases relating to a second wave, the deluded government is still adamant that schools should re-open in September because of economic panic. In America, the situation is worse.

Bettina Martin, the regional education minister for Mecklenburg-West Pomerania told the Telegraph: “We said that from the start there would be suspected cases in schools.

“As long as the coronavirus has not been eliminated and there is no vaccine, we have to deal with it.

“The protection of pupils and staff comes first.”

The efficiency of the Germans in handling the deadly coronavirus pandemic however has not been seen with the dilly-dallying of the British government and officials.

As much as we agree with Boris on most things, his stance with schools, is frankly panicked and rushed.

Yes, we must all function as before the Chinese Virus struck, but with precautionary measures in place, and a valid distance learning solution, there does not have to be an adverse affect to children’s education or mental psychology. Until a viable solution is found to counteract COVID-19, the risks of mass death will stand in all areas of society.

Carefree youths fuel global rise in virus infections

Unfortunately, we suspect Boris is being pushed and advised by officials and ‘experts’ who are panicking purely due to economic data. These officials are rushing the opening of schools despite there being no solution in sight, and the coronavirus could be with us for the next thirty to forty years. Do not panic, Boris, the game has simply changed, and with careful planning you could use this to your advantage, and change a failing educational system into something way more efficient and useful.

There are multiple alternative solutions to this problem, and simply throwing the cannon fodder (children and teachers) at the enemy thinking everything will be all right is not one of them.

The people who are all denying anything is happening right now, and not preparing for future waves will be the first to die. All the people who are having parties and dancing on the beaches will not survive what is coming. These deniers will all die, one way or another. There is no point in trying to reason with these people, much like dealing with flat-earthers, it is better to let them get infected and die.

You can survive though, although it is getting late in the day right now, you still have a chance of keeping your family safe if you prepare for what is to come.

If everything was all right, would the Queen still be in a state of extreme lockdown? Her Majesty does not plan on poking her head out of her palatial shell any time soon. The royals know very well what is going on.

Dear Refugees: Do Not Bother Travelling to the UK Any More There is Nothing Left Here

Russell Vai
-
0
Dear Refugees: Do Not Bother Travelling to the UK Any More There is Nothing Left Here

The streets are not paved with gold for refugees, there are no jobs even for Westerners, freedom of speech is dead, and if you come here you will soon wish you never made the perilous journey from your home.

Do Not Come to the UK

Do not believe the stories you may hear about everything given to you for free, because those days are all gone. The NHS is sadly a ghost of what it once was. It is now so overcrowded, especially with the COVID-19 pandemic that waiting lists for minor operations are now backdated by five years, if you’re lucky. The Benefits system is so oversubscribed that it is near collapse.

You will not get a job here in the UK, in fact many people born and bred here cannot get a job right now, especially after half of industry has been shut down because of the coronavirus.

If you are coming to the UK because you think you will be given housing and loads of money to spend, you have been misled, dear refugee friend, the reality is very much one of extreme poverty and a voucher for £16. There is little or no housing stock even for British people, and you and your family will be put in cells in a locked refugee centre for years until you are eventually processed for deportation.

The UK is not the land of milk and honey that the traffickers tell you, for refugees it is a cold dark pit where your will to live will be beaten out of you daily.

The winters in the UK are cold, dark, wet and miserable, and if you are in a large city there are no friendly faces, no one talks to each other, if you say ‘hello’ to a stranger they may even call the police on you. There will be no warmth, no money and little food, so you may try begging in the streets. Eventually the police will get you, and if they continue catching you, they will put you in prison.

Things have also changed regarding the famous Western ‘freedom’ and ‘justice’ you may have heard of from others. It is mostly gone now, and there is a form of global communism being pushed by very rich globalist overlords, who are aligning the West with China. These globalists are however encouraging refugees to make dangerous journeys to the West because they are using you as pawns to destabilise Western democracy. Therefore, do not bother coming here if you want any form of justice or freedom, that all disappeared years ago.

The COVID-19 pandemic has wrecked Western economies, therefore many businesses are going out of business, and there is little money to go around. Forget about getting a job and beware of the Eastern Europeans promising you gainful employment as well, you may just find yourself blowing thirty sailors a day whilst imprisoned in a tiny room behind a locked door guarded by an armed thug.

Do not come to the UK dear refugees, please stay where you are, it is not worth the dangerous journey. You will regret it for the rest of your life. What you see and read on the internet is a mirage, a big lie. It is better to live your life content in your own country.

Welcome to Hell On Earth

Russell Vai
-
0
Welcome to Hell On Earth

Contrary to myth, a hell does exist, a certified hell on earth is as sure as a divine slap in the chops by almighty Satan and his minions, all running around today right now on the beaches of the South of England, supping deliriously on the souls of thousands of willing lemmings.

This hell on earth exists and is very real, amongst the searing heat and foul stench of armpits and crotches, the sweat dripping over everything and everyone. Add into the mix, the equally satanic ingredient of a deadly virus that will no doubt eventually murder in cold blood multiples of these willing victims, who will descend into the bowels of the etheric hell once they pop their mortal coil. There seems to be a delicious air of danger present amongst the odour of deep fried food and sweat glands excreting the virus all over the place.

Every space in this hell is occupied, and the sight of the sacrificial offerings to Beelzebub are a delight to his vertically slit reptilian eyes. Souls offered to him with such ease are a rarity, and Satan sups on this mass of foul eager cattle with gusto.

Hell is definitely this place on earth, and no sane mortal would ever dare to venture into such a crowded sweating diseased fuck hole as this without some form of insanity, and there’s definitely plenty of that going around these days. Mass insanity of the sheeple masses is a dirty thing to watch from afar, because it implies that these lemmings have absolutely no control over themselves, they are animals, unable to control the most basic of instincts, and for this they ultimately will pay a huge price.

Lucifer licks his raspy tongue over his parched red lips as he tastes the future deaths of many of these automatons, knowing full well that within a few weeks many of them will be in hospital beds gasping for breath, and he’ll be waiting eagerly with his pitch fork to push them through that little doorway into his realm, sizzling pork cutlets in his dastardly satanic stir-fry.

It’s all too easy these days…

Why is Michelle Obama So Depressed?

Russell Vai
-
0
Why is Michelle Obama So Depressed?

The trials and tribulations of a former first lady are probably far-reaching and complex, and it is this complexity we can see in Michelle Obama, a woman who once had it all but now is a mere footnote in history.

Gone are the $80 million vacations paid for by the predominantly white taxpayer, the thrill of taking ‘whitey’ for every penny by using Air Force One to fly to Africa and back on a whim are now a distant memory.

Michelle’s famous Spanish holiday with about 60 hangers-on cost the American taxpayer in excess of $120 million, staying in the most lavish hotels and taking up whole wings for her massive entourage.

Michelle has thus been relegated to making vomitus saccharine ‘woke’ propaganda programs for the Netflix streaming service, and listening to Barack go on and on about his amazing achievements whilst in office. There’s only so much one can listen to someone talk about gay reforms and transgender issues.

Michelle himself, is happily transgender, and has had enough of all the controversy surrounding something that for her is quite routine. She simply wants to move on from this divisive issue that has even brought pain onto socialist darlings like J.K. Rowling.

“We need to move on from these distinctions. I am a woman, even though the length and girth of my cock is three times that of Barack’s. He always teases me about that in bed, but I always show him who is boss later on. I competed in the ladies shot put contest last year in Arkansas with the Clintons on vacation. Hillary could barely pick the ball up, and dropped it on her toe crushing it like a pretzel. I on the other hand threw the steel ball so far, it took 15 minutes walk to recover the thing. Let’s say I won the prize that time, much to the chagrin of the other ladies. Sore losers much?”

What could possibly be causing this depression in Michelle, especially after she achieved so much during her tenure as first lady in the White House?

Psychologist, Megan Malarkey, revealed her theory on the depressed state of Michelle Obama: “Depression comes in many forms, and I believe Michelle is simply depressed because of the loss of power and using other people’s money. Imagine being ferried everywhere in limousines, helicopters and Air Force One and then it all suddenly stops. The huge vacations where she brought all her friends, relatives and cleaned out luxury hotels of their silver, bath towels and bibles. Those days are all gone, and Michael misses it all. It’s a sort of sentimental depression, much like remembering a really enjoyable vacation but eventually coming back to reality and your old boring life. I suggest that Michelle starts taking drugs to counteract the depression, cocaine and maybe a little meth would pick her spirits up just fine. She needs uppers, no opioids though, they’re downers.”

Whatever happens to Michelle in the future is up to her, and only her. Cheer up Michael, look forward to a positive future.

Auntie Gets Nasty – Sends Bailiffs Around to Over 75s to Enforce TV Licence

Russell Vai
-
0
Auntie Gets Nasty – Sends Bailiffs Around to Over 75s to Enforce TV Licence

There once was a time when the BBC was affectionately called ‘auntie’ but it seems those days have passed and now auntie is just a nasty mean parasitic cunt, especially when the bailiffs are sent in to ransack your elderly grandma’s home.

Previously, over 75s were given a reprieve from paying the hated yearly BBC TV licence tax, but things changed recently when the BBC decided to wipe the exemption for TV viewers who are over 75. The BBC is now punishing the elderly for daring to vote for Brexit.

The BBC is now hiring 800 specialist staff to deal with the pensioners, and if they do not comply, to have bailiffs sent around to their homes where they will ransack and take any furniture they find to make up the cost of the licence fee.

It seems the price to keep the likes of people like Gary Lineker in millions per annum for their salary is a high one, and old age pensioners are the ones now who are going to pay that price.

Maureen Ovaltine, 85, had this to say to the BBC when she heard the news of bailiffs coming around to her home: “They can come, but they may not leave alive! I don’t mind going to prison at my age either.”

Pensioners, already a much persecuted group are already robbed by various methods by the government so the BBC robbing them further is just another notch in the post of agencies milking them for whatever they can get.

Legally, TV Licence inspectors have no right to enter any property, therefore refusing entry and ignoring them is the best policy, however if bailiffs obtain a court order to recover a debt they can enter a property.

The BBC these days is full of repeats of repeats, socialist ‘woke’ propaganda, and crappy celebrity cooking shows and is not fit for purpose any more. Auntie should be sent to the crematorium and reduced to ash. Sorry Auntie, but you are not a public service of any value any more, good riddance.

Children Are Humans Too

Russell Vai
-
0
Children Are Humans Too

To say that children are immune to COVID-19 is a grossly ignorant statement. They have the exact same biological makeup as adults, and their immune systems although generally more resilient than older adults are still susceptible to viruses, especially via asymptomatic transmission.

An airborne virus nests in the olfactory system, and children have noses just like adults have noses. They also touch their faces more, put their fingers in their mouths, rub their noses, fidget more than adults in general. It is therefore a certainty that innocently, children are primary spreaders of COVID-19, or the common flu. Children, are humans, and have ACE2 receptors, much like adults do.

Depending on the genetic factors of each human, adult or child, the COVID-19 pathogen reacts differently in each case irrespective of age since as humans we are essentially made up of the same biological materials. Therefore, some humans, young or old, may be infected with COVID-19 but not show symptoms yet spread to others through their breath and touch, whereas as others may become sick, either mild or with increased intensity. The key is in dosage of viral load as well as other variables like underlying  conditions and general health. If a child receives a huge dose of the viral pathogen which begins replicating in the body, it is certain they will get sick as much as an adult in the same situation, taking into account genetic and other biological variables.

It is only logical, and basic common sense then, that during a global pandemic, which is a very serious emergency, that forcing children to be put into enclosed spaces with other children is an exercise in futility, and will cause further spread of the deadly pathogen COVID-19.

The irrational and irresponsible diktats of officials more concerned with economic matters is a clear sign of panic in government more than anything else. Alternatively, one could also postulate that opening schools is part of a malevolent plan to accelerate the spread of the Covid-19 virus further into the population.

The r0 value will thus rise at an exponential level once the increased footfall of schools opening occurs. Vulnerable children, and adults, who are all human, with the same biological makeup will eventually succumb to the airborne virus.

CHILDREN ARE HUMANS.

1...283284285...804Page 284 of 804
squib footer 270

Breaking News

Copyright © Daily Squib 2024.

The Daily Squib is a curious satirical parody newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news.