17.7 C
London
Saturday, March 21, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 39

Fuera Gringos! Viva La Flat White! Viva La Revolución!

5

The glass was gone, swept up like some bourgeois after-party shame. Only a ghostly pink smear clung to the stucco like lipstick on a corpse, remnants of a short, sharp war fought on the sacred tiles of a Starbucks in Condesa. The battle cry of the disenchanted and disenfranchised was clear: “Fuera Gringos!” they shouted in unison. The war was brief, frenzied, furious, and absurdly caffeinated. And, make no mistake, the damage had been done. The line between latte and class war had been crossed.

It was just another pleasant Friday in gentrified Mexico City, gringos in wide-brim hats sipping flat whites, their MacBooks open like little capitalist altars, when the Anti-Gentrification Front descended like a demented Marxist punk rock cavalry.

A procession of the disenchanted Zapatistas, the priced-out, furious locals and their Marxist sympathisers, chanting slogans and swinging signs like clubs. This was a planned hit on the glossy heart of global suburbia. The “fuck the gringo” modus operandi here was if the “vile capitalist swine” Trump is kicking Mexicans out of the USA, then Mexicans would kick the moneyed gringos out of Mexico.

They didn’t come for the coffee. They came for the symbols, the beige, tastefully air-conditioned Instagram occupation of foreign wealth infiltrating their proud nation.

And when they reached the Starbucks? Boom. The sound of glass exploding like liberation. Chairs went airborne. Delicate pastries were looted and launched into the crowd like carbs of righteous vengeance. Some bearded hipster in a floral shirt and sandals barista hit the deck. Someone screamed. Probably in English.

Signs waved in the hot smog: “Expat = Gentrifier!” and “Gentrification is Colonisation!” It was performance art. It was revolution. It was a targeted cultural exorcism with matcha foam.

The internet went nuclear. Videos of fallen muffins and sobbing freelancers lit up social feeds, sparking another round of navel-gazing among the digital nomads, land speculators, and shister local liberals. What had gone wrong in the land of mezcal and imported almond milk?

The truth? This war didn’t start last Friday. It began during the pandemic, when hordes of restless gringos — those pandemic-weary cyber pilgrims — fled lockdown cities and descended on CDMX like an inglorious plague of iPhone-wielding locusts.

Mexico, with its open borders and closed mouths, offered cheap rent, good weather, and no questions asked.

Roma and Condesa became colonies of avocado toast. Spanish retreated. English dominated. “Concept stores” popped up like fucking mushrooms selling incense, vinyl, and fashion that looked like it was curated by some hallucinating AI on Ayahuasca. And the food? It pivoted — hard. Some locals claim you can’t even find proper Mexican grade tacos any more without scanning a QR code and answering three questions in English.

Back at ground zero, the Starbucks had reopened — sort of. Half-full. And eerily whitewashed.

This is the gentrification paradox: locals feeding off the suppurating golden teat of global capital while also choking on its lactose.

Political analysts pointed out the geopolitical symbolism. The protest happened on July 4, Independence Day for the empire up north. Trump was back in the White House, ICE raids were back on the menu, and some protesters even carried Palestinian flags, making this a war of optics as much as economics.

The United States, true to form, responded with weaponised snark. Homeland Security posted a message that only Kafka could love:

Because nothing says “freedom” like app-based deportation.

And so here we are on the bleeding edge of a latte-fuelled class insurrection, where the front lines run through upscale bakeries, boutique hotels and globalised yoga studios. The revolution might not be televised, but it will be livestreamed. In 4K. With subtitles.

God help us all.

Why Women Should Not be Frontline Police Officers or the Military

7

Forget Hollywood movies or TV dramas with women doing superhuman feats whilst juggling machine guns in each hand, maybe getting their left arm shot off and not even grimacing in pain. These are Hollywood fantasies. Real life on the other matter is brutal, and shows no mercy. To protect women, they should not be in the frontline in either a police or military outfit. To put women in these roles is actually counterproductive.

The British police force is essentially an unarmed, vulnerable police organisation that harbours no viable threat to armed criminals or violent individuals or groups. One could even postulate that they are ineffective cannon fodder when faced with the levels of violence that are present on Britain’s unholy streets today.

Not only are the British police a vulnerable, unarmed entity, but they are subject to an insane unjust woke justice system that values the rights of criminals more than that of the police or victims of crime. To fight back in defence in any way is punished by the lunatic court system, and many police officers have been sacked or jailed for their brave actions.

Moral is an important factor in any effective team, whether in the police or military. Women in these roles are essentially a distraction, and cause many of the male members to put their own lives and those of their colleagues at risk just to protect the females in the team. This female inclusion into the equation thus can limit the efficient running of any operations, risking lives further or causing complete operational failure.

In an ideal world where governments saw sense, the British police would be armed to the teeth and there would not be any females in the frontline. Courts would not threaten police officers with jail simply for doing their jobs. Sadly, we do not live in a world of reason or common sense any more, we instead live in a negative world of reversals, of unjust courts, and of a dystopian perversion of British society that is deteriorating for the worst every single day.

Link to video – Viewer Discretion Advised

Should women be put into frontline police and military situations?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Reeves Announces Another Glorious 0.1% Ungrowth in the Economy

4

Comrades, my policies of heavy taxation upon taxation has worked wonders on the ungrowth of the economy of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. By punishing any form of wealth creation, aspiration, and vile capitalist behaviour, the economy has shrunk again for the second consecutive month.

Ignore the Laffer Curve

This contraction is not enough though comrades, I don’t just want the PRSB to plunge into mild recession, I want there to be a Great Depression.

Taxes kill the economy, destroy jobs, destroy businesses and destroy growth. Isn’t that a beautiful soviet thing?

The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.

But, Comrades, don’t worry, if you are a train driver, union boss, council boss, Big State apparatchik, NHS boss or high party member your salaries and pensions have risen thanks to the Labour Party and my policies.

UK TAX BURDEN

More taxes upon taxes are still coming

We are now thinking of introducing a Wealth Tax to completely eviscerate and soak the vile rich scum who worked hard their entire lives to accumulate wealth.

Council tax is the new Poll Tax, as some councils are increasing it as much as 25%.

The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain, has already caused many of the wealthy to flee, but there are still some who have refused to leave. This is good, we will rob these rich chumps of every last penny so we can redistribute their wealth via collectivist communist techniques funnelling their wealth to the ever-growing welfare system and fake asylum seekers.

INGSOC NOTICE 1-1-11-1-111-1-0

JULIE GULLPIT, 34, OF STARMER PARADE, HAS BEEN AWARDED 0.04 GRAMS INCREASE IN SALT AND GIVEN 14 GRAINS OF RICE. SHE REPORTED HER FOUR CHILDREN AGED 3-14, HER HUSBAND, AND HER DOG, BOODLE FOR SCREAMING IN TERROR AND CRYING WHEN ANOTHER HUGE TAX DEMAND LETTER DROPPED THROUGH THEIR LETTERBOX LAST TUESDAY. THEY WERE TAKEN AWAY IN THE EARLY HOURS OF WEDNESDAY MORNING AND LIQUIDATED. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!

 

What Would Happen to Britain During and After a Nuclear War?

3

The tiny British Isles, its rolling green fields, its babbling brooks, its quaint villages and towns, its cities, its forests. Well, MIRV knows what would happen during and after a nuclear war. What the media does not disclose about a full-on nuclear attack is that there are not just one or two missiles that hit each target, what actually happens is that the ballistic missiles have many warheads that are released in a MIRV (Multiple independently targetable reentry vehicle) that ensures the target area is completely destroyed.

There are no shelters when it comes to the level of damage that modern nukes produce. The deepest London Underground station at Hampstead is only 192 feet deep, and the shockwaves of a direct ground burst above or near it would cause much of the tunnel system to collapse immediately. Even if some of the tunnels did manage to survive, this would not ensure that radiation would not be able to seep through the ventilation systems and through the station entrances.

London, for example, would not just receive one bomb bang in the centre of the city as is routinely published by the mainstream media, it would receive at least 100–200 warheads each with massive payloads. The Sarmat (SATAN II) is capable of carrying 10 tonnes of payload, of ten 750 kilotons, 15 or 16 lighter MIRV warheads, therefore London would most probably be carpeted by over 12 Sarmats, north, east, south, west.

In countries like Finland, Norway, Sweden and Switzerland their governments make sure that their citizens have shelters to go to, whereas in the UK there does not seem to be anything of the sort. The general consensus is that the UK is defenceless and fucked. The government cannot even protect its own borders from people coming over from France in rubber dinghies.

The initial blasts are merely the beginning of the nightmare, though, because the resultant fires would carry large amounts of soot into the atmosphere, blocking out the sun for years. If this is a full scale nuclear war, the nuclear winter would ensure much of the earth would be plunged into an awful irradiated dark hell.

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones,” Albert Einstein

In a full scale nuclear war with Russia, China, N. Korea, Iran against NATO approximately 4,400 to 5,000 nuclear weapons would be used which would create an estimated 150–180 million tons of black carbon soot injected into the stratosphere, above weather systems.

Once in the stratosphere (around 10–50 km altitude), the soot would not be washed out by rain, making it persist for decades. Computer simulations like NASA’s GISS climate model show that soot would remain above the earth for at least 7 to 10 years, with the worst effects in the first 2–3 years.

If you live in the Southern Hemisphere, there may be some chance of survival, but otherwise not for those in the Northern Hemisphere. Because most nuclear targets are in the Northern Hemisphere, the heaviest soot concentrations and cooling would begin there. However, the soot would eventually be dispersed globally within a few months as a result of the Earth’s atmospheric circulation patterns. Global temperatures would reduce drastically.

Many billionaires think that going to either Australia or New Zealand would save them, but unfortunately the adverse would mostly be a certainty. China has serious aspirations regarding the Oceanic regions, and Australia and New Zealand are rich in resources, particularly critical minerals, food, fresh water, and arable land — vital in a post-nuclear world.

China, through its Belt and Road Initiative, has increased influence in Papua New Guinea, the Solomon Islands, Vanuatu, and even Samoa — indicating a long-term South Pacific security vision.

Chinese military white papers suggest future expansion of naval projection capabilities beyond the First and Second Island Chains. China views both Australia and New Zealand as “low-resistance, high-reward” landmasses post-conflict with low populations, high resources and weak militaries.

Australia would also probably receive some nuclear attention because it hosts multiple US military installations, including Pine Gap—an intelligence hub integral to US global surveillance and nuclear targeting systems. Darwin and Perth are key US-aligned ports. In a total war scenario, China might strike them to eliminate Western Pacific threats.

New Zealand, while less militarised, still participates in Five Eyes intelligence and ANZUS cooperation, which would not go unnoticed.

Where the fuck to go then?

Well, somewhere in South America is probably best, but not a certainty.

If the World Was Not So Overpopulated None of this Shit Would be Happening

0

Maybe you are ignorant to what is happening, maybe you just don’t care, maybe you do care but are silent.

The root of everything bad that is happening right now in the world is overpopulation — that is the sole root of it all.

global_human overpopulation 1global_human overpopulation 0

Mass Immigration: It’s Too Late – Nothing Can be Done

1

It is too late to change mass immigration, illegal or not. Ever since Tony Blair opened the door to Eastern Europe and Labour opened up the country to free movement from the continent, there has been a huge influx of migrants into the UK.

The British benefits system is the dangling carrot that makes people come from far and wide to the UK.

The EU Schengen zone is a free travel channel directly leading to the UK where millions of people from the Third World come into the EU illegally, then freely cross European borders on their way to Britain. The French, despite being paid over £800 million by the UK government to stop illegal Channel crossings, routinely help fake asylum seekers to cross to Britain and the French Navy even escorts rubber dinghies to Dover.

Once in Britain, illegal migrants can be assured; free NHS healthcare, free transport, free education for as many children as possible, free housing, and a generous load of free money sometimes up to about £3,000 per week.

But many illegal migrants are still not happy with this and have dedicated Whatsapp accounts where they can purchase Deliveroo and Justeat accounts from legal workers. The booming food delivery market enables illegals to make an additional £500/£1000 per week, which is sent out of Britain immediately to their own countries via money transfer companies. No one knows who these illegal immigrants are, therefore a vulnerable woman ordering food on Justeat or whatever, could be served by an Afghan rapist casing her out for a later visit after midnight or simply barge his way into her home and viciously rape her before disappearing back into anonymity.

Unfortunately, because the UK has been cursed with either a weak Labour or Conservative government, nothing is done about any of the mass immigration.

Much like the Democrats in America, mass migrants are utilised in elections as voters. In this respect, it is highly beneficial to have illegal and legal immigration at vast levels for socialist parties to be voted in.

If governments in the West wanted to do something about mass immigration, they would have done it decades ago, but now it is way too late for anything to be done to solve the problem. It is thus a certainty that mass immigration from the Third World was imported into the West deliberately.

Once in the UK, the illegal economic migrants are fast-tracked for citizenship, or they disappear into the black economy which is thriving in the UK. The idiotic Starmer is totally clueless about anything and is an incompetent weak piss flap of a PM who has zero plans to solve the problem. The one in one out fiasco is a joke, and should be labelled as 500,000 in, zero out.

Britain is the laughingstock of the world.

Compulsory EU Digital ID Coming Soon

10

The fundamental reason for the internet is at risk — our right to anonymity. The new EU digital ID system is rearing its nefarious head across the European Union, as it brings forth a new regime of supreme surveillance upon citizens. Knowing the EU-centric policies of Keir Starmer, it is presumed he will sign the UK up to this program as well.

Tyranny

The updated scheme builds on the earlier eIDAS framework (2014), addressing its limitations by mandating interoperable national identity wallets that work seamlessly across all EU member states by 2026.

The EU Digital ID Wallet will effectively eliminate anonymous participation in online life.

When the wallet becomes mandatory for accessing key services like banking, healthcare, or even social media, then people will be forced to tie their real-world identity to online accounts.

trust in government

Anonymous speech, whistleblowing, or politically sensitive activism, satire, criticism, will become riskier or impossible. Governments or private companies will profile and monitor individuals more easily than ever before.

With the EU state having total control over your digital ID, it will have the power to revoke or restrict access, like freezing you out of essential services (banking, healthcare, travel etc.) if you are deemed as undesirable in any way or your citizen score is not high enough.

In times of political crisis or authoritarian drift, this infrastructure will no doubt be abused to punish dissenters. One could postulate that the tenets of democracy, free discussion, opinions will be eroded completely by this digital feudalism.

The EU Digital ID program places unprecedented technical and legal power in the hands of public-private consortia, potentially creating “ID monopolies.”

This Austrian survivalist Survival Lilly outlines how the EU is introducing a digital euro currency this year, therefore the digital ID is a necessary process. The new measures are possibly linked to the CBDC System proposed by the BIS.

The digital euro currency will be programmed to cater for every use case, for example, the European Central Bank can limit how much citizens can buy of a certain product if the need be, or bar them from buying products that are deemed as non-sustainable etc.

Sadly, the entire internet is in the process of shutting up shop forever.

Freedom and privacy will soon be completely outlawed, and to do anything via the internet will require people to give away everything to authoritarian, totalitarian governments who many cannot trust.

War is Good For Declining Russian Population

3

The gradual depletion of the Russian population and declining birthrate is a bonus for the West. That is not to say that the West also does not have a declining indigenous birthrate as well, but it is being bolstered by mass migration. The ongoing war in Ukraine is a drain on the Russian population and from 2018 to 2024 there has been a population decline of over 3 million Russians.

Aside from the meat grinder war in Ukraine, which has killed more than 500,000 Russians (unofficial estimate), only 1.22 million babies were born last year, which is the lowest number of births in a single year since 1999. Furthermore, Russia’s official statistical agency, Rosstat, projects that the birth rate will continue to decline, reaching just 1.14 million by 2027.

Russia also has high mortality rates, with deaths exceeding births for several years now. The life-expectancy of Russian men in some areas is 45 due to vodka and drug consumption.

Along with alcoholism and drugs as major causes of illness and death, the war in Ukraine is obviously a major factor as well.

To be embroiled in an ongoing conflict with no end in sight is a good recipe for eventual destruction, death by a thousand cuts, as every day more Russian meat is ground into the Ukrainian soil.

Cannon fodder suicide missions

The desperation of Russian commanders is at an all-time high as they send in conscripts to the front lines with a two-week life expectancy at the most.

By causing constant losses in manpower, supplies, and morale, one side tries to progressively weaken its adversary to the point of collapse in attrition warfare. One could postulate that the West is conducting this form of warfare on Russia, obviously utilising the proxy of Ukraine to apply the technique. Alternatively, one could also say the same tactic is being utilised on Ukraine by Russia.

The West is essentially slow moving when it comes to elements like rearming and the manufacture of weapons in preparation for war, but thankfully a firm boot up the ass by Trump the consensus has hopefully changed. Slowly but surely, Trump is also coming to the realisation that his dear friend Putin does not give a fuck about what he says and will continue his deranged mission to send more of his troops into the Ukraine hellhole battlefields and muddy trenches where they will ripped apart by drones and Howitzers.

By gradually depleting Russia’s population, this will help to reduce its impact in further conflicts in the future.

Keir Starmer’s Identity Crisis

0

Comrade Starmer is amidst a major identity crisis, not only for himself but for the glorious Labour Party who have transformed Britain into an utter, utter shithole.

With the multiple threats of the Reform Party led by Brexiteering vanguard Nigel Farage aligned more to the right of the political spectrum, there is now an additional thorn in the side of the Labour Party with the introduction of the Jeremy Corbyn far leftist party.

Torn from far left Marxist Corbynite politics to the mish mash far right ideological leanings of Farage, Starmer does not know where to lean to counteract the multiple pronged threats.

Essentially, the entities of Farage and Corbyn will only siphon off voters during any election, reducing Labour’s chances further.

Our thoughts are with Starmer and wish him the best in his identity crisis battle.

 

US Debt of $37 Trillion is Still Not That Much

The current US debt level of $37 trillion is still in its infancy and has room to grow to over 200 or 300 trillion dollars (National debt). The unfunded US total debt/interest is currently $104 trillion.

Feeding, clothing and paying for the entertainment of vast populations is not a cheap endeavour. This is one of the many reasons why US debt is rising at exponential levels.

American workers need to work harder and pay more taxes so that the useless eaters who refuse to work can live fuller, unproductive lives of not doing anything at the expense of US taxpayers.

Why work in a system which gives you $9,000 a month to do nothing?

The consensus for many is that “working is for chumps.” This applies to the UK as much as the USA. In the UK, for example, there are people who have constipation or tennis elbow who receive top-of-the-range cars with the Motability scheme for free and vast amounts of benefit payments. Obviously, the scale of the debt is much larger in America, however it is not big enough. The US needs to accumulate more debt than the entire globe to really qualify for a big prize.

The modern global economy is built on debt, so there is absolutely nothing wrong with nations going into vast debt holes. In fact, debt boosts economies, and without the continual accumulation of debt, many economies would collapse immediately.

All the US does is print more money through quantitative easing, and everything is cool and dandy — apart from a little inflation here or there or a devalued currency. As for servicing the current debt level of $37 trillion, it’s a very manageable $1.1 trillion per annum, which is a drop in the ocean for the USA.

Elon Musk is naive to think that he could “reduce” the US debt levels by a single iota percentage point. It cannot be reduced, and to even think about reducing the US debt level is fundamentally stupid. If Musk has any sense, he needs to back off his untenable little crusade. US debt will continue to rise for centuries beyond the lifespan of people like Musk.

…and the pièce de résistance …

KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH