17.7 C
London
Monday, April 6, 2026
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 267

Trump Given Magnificent Send Off By Republican Party

0

It couldn’t get any better for Trump as his final day in office will remain with him forever. The 45th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump was applauded for his one and only term in office with a wonderful send-off by his fellow Republican Party.

As the RINOs lined up behind the outgoing president, each one plunged another dagger into Trump’s already full back. Some of the knives overlapped, one RINO even using a hatchet, another a blunted Phillips screwdriver.

Then came the regular republicans, they all smiled and congratulated Trump as they too, all in turn, stabbed a knife into Trump’s sodden back.

Finally, came Pence, Trump’s supposed wingman, this time he carried a cutlass which he pushed into the back of Trump with gusto. Pence’s yellow complexion flexing with effort.

“Et Tu Pence!” Trump groaned, weakened but not yet beaten.

It’s a long way to Mar-a-Lago, enjoy the fucking ride.

The Best Theatres Every Movie Lover Should Visit

0

Even though most of us are now turning to Netflix and other movie streaming services, you should also consider some of the best theatres available in the world.

At some point you need to go out and spend some good time with others at some local movie theatres. But how about you explore even further? There are quite a number of movie theatres that you can visit and watch some great movies there.

This is not all about watching movies, rather you can have a good time and meet new people.

Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas

This movie theatre has exploded since it was opened in Austin, Texas in 1997 with 22 Locations. The place is popular for pioneering the luxury movie theatre moments that many other chains are adopting.

Be ready to enjoy comfortable and lucrative seating, fine dining and drink. Above all, get ready to enjoy some great movies at this brilliant movie theatre.

After enjoying movies, if you travel to Canada, you will be able to enjoy movie-themed online slots at the best online casinos ca.

Castro Theatre in San Francisco, California

This is a historic movie theatre in San Francisco. The theatre is easily recognisable simply because of its beauty. It consists of a marvellous Spanish Colonial façade, but it looks like it belongs in Europe instead of Northern California.

Cine Thisio in Athens

Now how about watching a movie in an open space? Well, this is what you get when you get when you go to Greece. All you need to do is to visit outside at Cine Thisio and have a good time by viewing the neighbouring Acropolis as well as Parthenon.

Not all the time you should do everything online. If you can watch movies at the best theatres in the world, then the same can be done if you want to play top online pokies. For a change you need to move away a bit from playing casino games online, rather visit some of the wonder land casino in the world and have some good moments.

The Top Things to Look Out for this Year that Definitely Aren’t Conspiracy Theories

0

2020 was the weirdest year ever. Not only did an unprecedented virus rage across the planet, but we saw an Oompa-Loompa lose the US election, the Pentagon declare that aliens are now among us and just… the Tiger King.

Yet just when you thought you were safe from the madness, along comes 2021 with even crazier behaviour – you ain’t seen nothing yet. Here are five things that are happening as we speak that definitely aren’t conspiracy theories.

A huge 5G cell tower is melting all the icecaps

ice caps
Photo by James Ahlberg on Unsplash

Big tech is everywhere, man, even the North Pole. Think about it: they can’t build those gigantic 5G towers in a populated area because it’ll give the game away, so how about a place where nobody goes?

The problem is, all of that radiation blasting out has consequences. First, radioactive polar bears – as if the natural kind aren’t scary enough, imagine a super-sized glowing mutant bear chasing you. Next, simple science tells us that all that heat is going to melt the ice away at a rapid rate.

So, next time some scientific expert who’s spent most of their adult life studying the subject tells you that ‘climate change’ is causing sea levels to rise, just shake your head and say ‘nope…it’s 5G. I read some article on the internet’.

Maths isn’t real

maths science
Photo by Science in HD on Unsplash

All those hours sat through Maths class…for what? Since when does ‘y’ equal anything anyway? TikToker Gracie Ham went viral recently for asking if maths is even real, and it’s not like anyone has come up with an answer.

The question has opened up a debate between philosophers and mathematicians, with many of them saying several mathematical concepts depend on the society they were created in; that is, if humanity had taken a different course, would things like algebra even exist?

How about taking things a step further…who’s to say that three apples plus two apples is five apples? Are apples even real? If we believe John Lennon, then nothing is real, including maths.

People who can ‘see into the future’ are running the world

Ever wondered how the super-rich got their money? Forget hard work, luck or a big inheritance…most of them earned their fortunes with a mystic ability to see into the future.

Bill Gates saw a future filled with computers in his crystal ball back in the 70s, Jeff Bezos had a premonition of the Covid pandemic causing mass online shopping when he was a teenager…the list goes on. Ever wondered how Elon Musk got the money to start up Tesla?

He simply wrote down the winning lottery numbers that had come to him in a dream.
Everyone knows that seeing into the future is the surest way to riches, which is why all fortune-tellers are billionaires.

This theory will gain credence in 2021 as more people become ‘Crypto millionaires’ than ever before. Think their success is down to logic and skill? Nope. They’re just clairvoyants.

covid masks
Photo by Julian Wan on Unsplash

Covid masks contain mini CCTV cameras

Technology is pretty sophisticated these days. Not only can we use the latest gadgets to play games on our watches, charge devices wirelessly and stream movies in seconds, but we can also fit really small things into really small spaces.

Consider the face mask. Once the domain of bank robbers and surgeons only, we’re now told we have to wear one to stop a deadly virus in its tracks? Sounds convenient – a little too convenient.

Maybe masks are a way to spy on us. Just slit open each mask’s fabric and slide the latest technology in there – not time-consuming or expensive at all. Next up will be recording equipment in boxer shorts, and hats with antennas built into them. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Joe Biden is the ‘fifth Beatle’

guitar
Photo by Alasdair Elmes on Unsplash

Let’s look at the facts here. Joe Biden was born in 1942: so was Paul McCartney. Joe Biden has Irish heritage: so does Paul McCartney (and John Lennon). Joe Biden was in the States in the 1960s: so were the Beatles as part of the famous British Invasion.

If all that isn’t enough, take a look at old Beatles photos. There’s normally a fifth guy hanging around, right? Well, that guy happens to be a young Joe, providing backing vocals and clapping his hands in time to classics such as Love Me Do and I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

Joe eventually got tired of screaming fans, touring the world and earning a ton of money for playing music, so he chose a career in politics instead. He’s never forgotten his Beatles roots though – just take a look at his recent inauguration ceremony: one of the songs? Beatles classic Here Comes The Sun, lovingly performed by Jon Bon Jovi.

Bridgerton Upsets Other Minorities

0

The Netflix period drama Bridgerton, which is historically incorrect and a bastardized chavvy monstrosity skewing history, has upset South East Asian groups as well as Australian aborigines, and Arabs.

The ‘Fast and Furious’ of period drama

“All we see are out of place black actors plonked into the show, but where are the Chinese/Japanese/Filipinos/Vietnamese/Indians? There is no representation for Australian aborigines or maybe Samoans to frolic around in hammy costumes, and Arabs are completely ignored as well. There are many other minority groups that are also ignored. Why are the blacks given preference in this squalid series, when in reality they were nowhere to be seen in the period in England apart from a very few places? If a Blackamoor male even sniffed a white woman in those days, he would have been arrested immediately and appropriately punished.” an outraged activist for Minorities in Movies support group revealed in the Guardian.

Naturally, Netflix was silent and did not answer any questions sent its way. The company is currently planning to defile the historical period drama genre further with a new film set in 18th Century Shropshire, involving a cast of ferrets, numerous bisexual midgets, fourteen paraplegic Eskimos, an octopus, three giraffes and a donkey that farts in tune to the British national anthem.

Pray For America — Freedom Gives Way to Communism and Despair

0

Chinese puppet, Joe Biden will harm America irreparably with communist legislation. This is incredible, here is a father who took long inappropriate showers with his underage daughter Ashley, who is a compromised agent of the Chinese Communist Party, and is severely impacted by dementia, who has completely cheated his way into being inaugurated on the 20th January as President of the United States. Biden and his son Hunter have also been implicated in many illegal deals with companies in Ukraine and China, where they allegedly received vast sums of money in the form of backhanders for corrupt business dealings and alleged money laundering worth millions of dollars.

armed-soldiers-dc-The paranoid Democrats and their sham inauguration don’t even trust the National Guard that have been deployed to guard them. They have calculated that 90% of the National Guard are male and only 20% voted for Biden. This amount of paranoia reveals the fear amongst this group of communists is such that they fear even their own soldiers. This is why all the National Guard soldiers have now had their gun magazines confiscated by the paranoid Democrats, who know very well that they are amongst the most hated of individuals after stealing the election. This paranoid act alone proves to many how they have gained power through dishonest and nefarious means and are now fearing some kind of retribution for their crimes.

When they come for your guns, they will have smiling faces and M16-A2s.

Pray for America, for on 20th January all will be lost, and there will never be any hope for the country again as it succumbs to more corruption and Chinese influence.

This is what happens when no one did anything, they stood back and watched as outrage after outrage were committed on the constitution and electoral system.

Americans can only now wish for a quick death amongst sky-high taxes, Chinese communism enforced by the tyrannical Big Tech Stasi, and brutal persecution by the Bolshevik hatchet men.

Pray for America…for soon it will be like China.

Things Left to Do in a Bloody Lockdown

0

You get it, we get it, lockdown is drastically boring!

From Netflix to making your sourdough bread to Netflix again. An endless circle of slowly going insane. So what’s not done, can we get something else of this fantastic opportunity of being locked in our homes? Yes, here are some examples to escape, while not really…

panda
Photo by Isolate Create from Pexels

Go to the zoo without leaving the house

You can view the live webcams at Edinburgh Zoo on their website. You can see pandas, penguins, tigers, and koala bears. Amazing, this will make you feel one with the caged beauty you’re watching. Enjoy and don’t try to think about the actual situation too much. Trust me.

 

Listen to a podcast

Watched everything on Netflix? Can’t concentrate on a book? Then why not get lost in a podcast. Pop your earphones in and get transported from your house by people who know more than others on stuff only they like. Sometimes just the stupidity of the topics can make you spend thirty minutes laughing…

national park
Photo by James Wheeler from Pexels

Tour the USA’s greatest national parks

We might not be taking journeys anytime soon but thanks to the internet we can take our online journeys far and wide. Always wanted to visit some of the beautiful national parks in America? Then thanks to Google Earth we can. So good to drag that mouse of yours to move in space. Gives you that feeling of being there.

Audiobooks or short stories

Audible has made a huge section of their collection free. Check out their website to see if there are any you would like. Now it’s all about the narrator here. Some are amazing, some not. But imagine David Attenborough talking about murder… you have me there.

P.E with Joe Wicks

Fitness guru Joe Wicks has become the nation’s P.E teacher. Check out his videos every morning at 9 am on YouTube. Stretch, sweat, and remember that it won’t make a big difference in the end.

Gamble away bae

Make money, lose money. Who cares at this point. Get your phone and gamble time away. It’s easy and doesn’t require a lot of thought nor even registration. Like my Finnish brother in law says: “Kasino ilman rekisteröitymistä!“. I can’t say he’s sane. But man he’s a loud and happy bugger.

Photo by Şule Makaroğlu from Pexels

Relax on the beach without leaving your house

Fancy hearing the sound of the waves and looking at beautiful sandy beaches? Then check out this live beach webcam and realize how far away you are from anything alike. You might want to cry a bit here with a fan in your face. Just to get that water feel on your cheeks with a nice sea breeze.

Make a memory box

Find a box big enough to hold loads of items. Decorate the box and then fill it with lots of your favourite memories from over the last few years of freedom you had. Just to remember how times used to be.

Make a wish jar

After that memory box… you should be creative on what you want to do now. Write some things you would need to do in the future and pop them in a jar. When all of this is over you’ll probably be too lazy to do any, but it can be a good laugh to take it out when drunk with friends.

Unplug from technology

Yeah, you get it, stop scrolling. Go full bear mode and hibernate. Nobody will miss you for six months, and you won’t miss anything. Just accept it.

Tips to Keeping Your Finances in Check

0

A lot of people struggle when it comes to keeping track of how much they spend or earn. Because of that, it becomes really difficult to save some money or achieve certain goals. This is why it’s always important to ensure that you keep an eye on your finances.

Even if you enjoy playing best au online casinos games, you will still need to manage your bankroll in order not to lose money quickly. Below, we show you how you can keep your finances in check.

Create a Budget

This is the first and most important step that you should take before you do anything. Creating a budget allows you to see how much you are going to need in order to achieve your goals, as well as how much you are able to save at the end of the day. Thankfully, you are able to use various free tools and apps for creating a budget.

Take Note of All Expenses

You should never spend your money with a blind eye. Doing that is very disastrous for your finances. Instead, you should make sure that you watch how much you are spending and where you are spending it.

If you know how you are spending your money, you will be able to create a realistic budget just like how you budget your online casino slots budget.

Always Opt for Cash

Using cash when making purchases is a really good idea as it allows you to see exactly how much you are spending. In addition, it helps you to figure out if you really need what you are buying or not.

This is not the case in a situation where you are using a credit card.
When you swipe for goods, you don’t really put it into your head how much you are really spending.

Therefore, it leads you to buy some things that you don’t really need. This is why we suggest that you keep your cards at home and use cash instead.

Jack Ma Found

0

The unfortunate disappearance of the prolific Chinese internet billionaire Jack Ma has drawn blanks across the globe, but in China people disappearing is a normal occurrence.

“One minute you may be a celebrated billionaire entrepreneur jet-setting across the world, dining in the best restaurants and brushing shoulders with the rich and famous, the next minute you do not exist, cancelled by the Chinese politburo, your organs sold off to some Dubai businessman who needs a new rectum. This is China my friend, this is how communist enterprise work,” Ring Ring Ping, an ex-CCP hitman from Shanghai revealed on Monday.

Where was Jack Ma found?

According to sources in the Chinese Communist Party, it was a secret operation to cancel Jack Ma, and his remains were found in a Beijing landfill area.

The man who found Jack Ma’s remains recognised the tycoon from his cheeky grin he still had on his face.

“I was looking for some food to eat when I came across a restaurant sized tin for boiled eggs. Looking inside I see lots of pieces of meat, so I think stir-fry later, but shock came across me when I turn a piece and little Jack Ma head look up at me. I fright and run! But then my tummy grumble a little. So that night my family had stir-fry pork balls! You know like numbah 52 in menu. When you mince everything no one ever know what they really eat, just like in all Chinese restaurants. Add sweet and sour sauce and delicious. Thank you, Jack, you fed my family of sixteen that night!”

Mystery solved, bon appétit.

Biased CIA Analysts Bypassed Report Citing Chinese Involvement in Election Fraud

0

It is well known that much of the CIA is anti-Trump, and this is why analysts decided to stall a report on Chinese involvement in the 2020 election fraud.

This is why Director of National Intelligence (DNI) John Ratcliffe had to step in and assess that China interfered in the 2020 federal elections, according to a letter transmitted to Congress on January 7.

“Based on all available sources of intelligence, with definitions consistently applied, and reached independent of political considerations or undue pressure—that the People’s Republic of China sought to influence the 2020 U.S. federal elections,” Ratcliffe wrote.

The letter and details have only been released today.

Ratcliffe – Views on Intell… by Jenna Romaine

 

 

This confirms fully that all mainstream media outlets, the judicial system and the Democrat Party along with Big Tech were complicit in a massive cover up of the electoral fraud, as many of these were corrupt and possibly working with the Chinese Communist Party to pervert the American electoral system.

BREAKING: BLM and ANTIFA Armed Militant Groups Converge On State Capitals

0

Armed ex ANTIFA and BLM militants calling themselves the Boogaloo Group are turning up at state capitals as well as Washington D.C.

“We are not a pro-Trump group,” said one of the armed protesters at the Ohio demonstration.

Notice the full positive press coverage of the Marxist group, whereas Trump supporters who legitimately had a grievance about electoral discrepancies were always completely ignored.

These are apparently part of the same group who stormed the Capitol on January 6th dressed as Trump supporters, and encouraged innocent Trump supporters to join in the storming of the building.

Some of them admit to being BLM activists.

The Marxist led plan is probably to have some sort of confrontation with the police or a conservative opponent at some stage which will eventually lead to national calls for mandatory gun confiscation. This is why these leftist groups are fully armed with AR-15s etc. All of this comes with Biden and Kamala Harris’, as well as the Democrat Party’s blessing. These guys will be hailed as heroes by the press for their action in fomenting full gun control in the USA.

This all smells like Soros took a big shit…

Daily Fail disinfoThe idiotic morons at the Daily Mail are now calling the Boogaloo Boys, MAGA Trump supporters. If anyone ever wants poor reporting and disinformation go to the Daily Mail. Laughable non journalism.

 

Story developing…

KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH