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An Ode to Brexit, the Dream Departed

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O Sovereign Hope, that once didst blaze so bright,
With trumpet’s call and promises alight,
Thou bold-named Brexit, child of rebel flame,
Didst stir the hearts and rouse the isle to claim
A newer world, unshackled and unbound—
Yet now dost lie in silence, under ground.

We hailed thee then, with mirth and iron cheer,
Cried “Take back laws! And borders, once held dear!”
But lo, what came? Not sovereign dawn, but dust—
A bitter jest, a putrid relic green with rust.

Immigration swelled like Neptune’s wrathful tide,
While gate and port lay open, gaping wide.
Our courts, o’erruled by strangers’ distant hand,
The ECHR doth reign o’er this fair land.
Still shield the guilty chicken nuggets from our shore,
While justice waits outside a bolted door.

And Northern Erin, bound in foreign chain,
Still dances to Europa’s strict refrain.
No Brexit there, no freedom’s gentle kiss—
But trade in shadow, and borderlines amiss.

Where is the Singapore-on-Thames once vowed?
What lion roars beneath this misty shroud?
The markets fled, the red tape redder still,
And fishing rights?—a gift to foreign gill!
Our nets grow bare while Gallic super trawlers dine,
And sovereign seas are lost by slow design.

Now enters Two-Tier Keir, with visage mild and grave,
To seal the tomb that Brexiteers once gave.
With ink and smile, he signs away the rest—
Our youth, our tide, our fisheries’ bequest.
What once was bold is bartered for a sigh,
A soft return, beneath Europa’s eye.

O fools! O faction-torn and faithless kin!
Ye cast the prize before the game could win.
The moment came, the hour ripe to act—
But courage failed, and vision sorely lacked.

Now mark these words, ye watchers yet unborn:
Here lies a dream, unbirthed and left forlorn.
A grave marked Brexit—chiselled deep in stone,
Where sovereignty once stood—now but a bone.

So raise a glass to what we might have been,
A land once proud—now swallowed from within.
And let the wind bear forth this mournful cry:
The dream of Brexit lived—but did not die…
It merely slipt away, and passed us by.

Beckingham Palace Latest: Trouble as Son Does a Harry

Chav royalty is in disarray, as Beckingham Palace courtiers have revealed that one of the wayward parasitical brood has gone rather orf. Specifically Brooklyn Beckham, yes, he’s done a “Harry”.

Apparently “Posh” Spice is rather upset, and has not eaten her daily pea, insiders have revealed. She eats a single pea every day but missed her daily pea last Thursday. On hearing the news of her wayward son, she managed an even worse grimace than usual before pouting for a selfie.

David Beckham on the other hand is stoic about his son disappearing, and due to his low intelligence levels simply went to his vast back garden to kick a ball around.

Could this be another Megxit incident that results in lots of money-making tell-all books, merchandise and ill-feeling. Well, Brooklyn Beckham is a useless whining prat just like Harry, so looks like it’s going to be fun for all the people who like this sort of thing. For others, well, we have better things to do with our time.

Keir Starmer: “I am doing assisted dying right now”

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The Labour PM Keir Starmer has today announced that he is conducting a prolonged program of assisted dying on himself, the Labour Party, UK economy and democracy.

“Exterminate! Exterminate! I am exterminating myself! Malfunction! DESTROY! Exterminate UK! Exterminate Everyone!” Starmer bleated like a deranged Dalek during an impromptu press conference.

Concerned MPs gathered around the PM afterwards, asking if he was okay as he looked visibly shaken.

Rachel Reeves, the ailing Chancellor of the Exchequer, took out a soiled napkin from her purse and padded Starmer’s profusely sweating forehead saying the calming words: “It’s okay Keir, I’m in charge of the economy. Everything is going to be just fine.”

This assisted dying lark seems like a right laugh.

Justin Bieber to Recreate the Ministry of Silly Walks on Stage

“Mommy, why does Justin Bieber walk all funny?”

“Oh, that’s okay, you shouldn’t know such things Billy, now go and play with your toys.”

Yep, Justin Bieber, the guy who was propelled to child stardom with the “help and tutelage” of P. Diddler is shuffling around stage like a geriatric who’s got a watermelon jammed up his butt.

All those years of being the play toy of a deviant have certainly taken a toll, but Bieber plans to capitalise on his shuffling geriatric walk by saying he is imitating the famous Monty Python ministry of silly walks sketch.

“That P. Diddler guy sure taught me a lot. Look, I got my old knee pads right here, they’re all worn out as you can see. These days in my old age I can’t run or go anywhere without my special diapers otherwise I poop my pants. Ah, to get famous I had to do stuff, but it all worked out great in the end. Scuse me, I gotta go and get something from the fridge. Check it out, it’s a big black lollipop. Reminds me of the good old days!”

Anything for fame and fortune.

 

You May be Wondering …

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Are we under attack?

Why are our electricity substations all catching fire, sometimes at the same time?

Why are our supermarkets and retail stores being hacked en masse?

Why are there coordinated, well-organised campaigns to import hundreds of thousands of third-world young men across the Channel to disrupt and destabilise our entire system?

Why were submarine tracking devices recently washed up on UK shores?

Why were three entire European nations suddenly blacked out simultaneously by a catastrophic electricity grid collapse recently?

Of course, Britain is thankfully — underneath the scenes anyway — working like a busy bee to thwart these incidents and everything is officially being touted as normal, but maybe some people are putting two and two together, or maybe not.

Do carry on as before. There is nothing to see here.

Comrades, We Welcome More Fake Asylum Seekers to Soviet Britain

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Comrade Starmer, supreme commander of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain, has made another one of his outstanding speeches about the wonderful fake asylum seekers coming to Britain by the thousands daily in rubber dinghies from France.

“Our open borders welcome all. Whether you are a fake asylum seeker, chicken nugget lover, or a terrorist, you are welcome in the PRSB.

“Comrades, our goal in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is to make our communist nation a third world paradise where inclusivity and woke progressive soviet ideologies flourish.

“You may wonder why you cannot get an appointment to see your doctor for a potentially fatal illness, or find a place for your child in school to receive state sponsored propaganda training. You may wonder why no one speaks English any more, or that women are no longer safe to walk in the streets. Do not bother your simple selves with such lofty thoughts. You must simply accept your lot in life and obey every diktat without question.

“Your ignorance is our safety. Due to the hundreds of thousands of fake asylum seekers being directed to our shores by the French, effective immediately sugar rations will be discontinued indefinitely and replaced by mustard. Plebs, mustard is in plentiful supply, and if you want a cup of tea, or a cake, use mustard instead, hmmm, yum, yum, delicious.

“I must leave you now. I have a free £3,500 VIP ticket to watch a concert that none of you plebs could possibly get a ticket for in a million years.”

 

The Chaos of War – Israel Hamas Gaza Close Combat Footage

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This is war. It’s messy, it’s not organised, it’s chaos! When bullets and grenades are going off around a person, something happens to you, you disappear inwards to a place of nothingness where adrenaline soaks your consciousness in a moment of sluggish slow time. Everything around you is accentuated, every little movement lights you up with awareness, every sound beats into your eardrums with the ferocity of beating drums. If you get hit, don’t worry you won’t feel a thing for now, it’s only later when they’re digging out the shrapnel when it will hurt. The war in Gaza between Hamas and Israel never ends — not for the people, not for the soldiers, or for the terrorists.

Is this thing even winnable? The only way to win an urban war like this is to carpet bomb the place. That is the way they did it in WW2. House to house fighting is some of the nastiest shit any soldier can be asked to do, and from this video, you can see why.

 

H.R.H Meghan Markle is Set to Announce Launch of New Perfume

Her Royal Highness, Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, is to shortly announce her latest commercial product — her own perfume.

On a post on her popular Instagram page, the royal wrote: “I’m excited to announce soon my latest smell. Yes, it’s the scent that you will all love and cherish. The perfume will be called Aynus.”

Each bottle of Eau de Aynus will be charged at $395 and will be sold on Markle’s online shop from Tuesday.

Excited fans of H.R.H the Duchess of Sussex were gushing praises of the new venture with anticipation.

“I can’t wait to smell like Meghan’s Aynus,” one commenter replied.

 

 

Jaguar Dumps Woke DEI Ad Agency After 25% Fall in Sales

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If you want to lose sales, go woke and go DEI. Wokism is not natural, it is forced. Wokism is an authoritarian Marxist form of propaganda that many people have finally woken up to. The proliferation of forced, hectoring woke advertising campaigns like the one created by Accenture Song may be over for now, but unfortunately many companies like Jaguar are still blinded by the programming.

ESG RATINGS

If Jaguar wants to go the way of Bud Light as a brand, carry on by hiring deranged far-left indoctrinated political activist ad creatives to shit on their brand.

Essentially, wokism is an elemental variable of Marxist ideological programming, and its role is to force its hyper-sensitive politically correct ideological stance onto the population through a form of propaganda. Political correctness is a soviet communist construct created in the first days of the Russian Revolution.

 

Comrade Starmer Secures Amazing Non-Deals With USA and India

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Comrades, yes, we eat cabbage soup, cabbage pie, cabbage sandwiches and rotten turnips in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain, but look what they eat in vile capitalist countries?

“In America, a place led by the capitalist vile pig, Donald J. Trump, they eat hamburgers and cheeseburgers and chlorinated chicken wings. In India, they eat curry and other such delights.

“We must improve our diet, so I made a deal with the imperialistic braggart Trump. We give him everything, and he throws us a few pennies. How’s that for a deal?

“And for India? They get to send thousands of their cheap workers here undercutting our own labour force, and they don’t have to pay taxes like our British soviet workers. Two-tier deals these are, and none of it benefits you, the everyday prole scum.

“Comrades, I can proudly announce that the US has tripled its tariffs on Soviet Britain, while the UK has more than halved its tariffs on them. This means the new deal including US tariff rates makes us £12.4 billion worse off.

“Instead of paying a rate of 3.4% we now pay 10%. Imports to the UK used to be charged at about 5.1%, but now the Americans can ship here for 1.8%.

“How’s that for a deal, huh? Am I good at making deals or what? Now excuse me while I bend over this table to get shafted.”

At that moment the sound of knee slapping, whooping, cackling and cheering could be heard from across the Atlantic.

INGSOC NOTICE 900-87200-EU REGULATION E-E093373899285-71284981

JANICE BUCKET, 7, OF 23 MICHAEL FOOT ROAD, DAGENHAM, SECTOR 14, ENGLAND, HAS BEEN AWARDED TWO ROTTEN CABBAGES, A MOULDY TURNIP, AND AN EXTRA 0.02 GRAMS OF CHOCOLATE RATIONS FOR REPORTING HER ENTIRE PRIMARY SCHOOL CLASS OF 78 PUPILS FOR CHEERING ON THE PARTISAN LEADER FARAGE. THE CRIMINALS WERE LIQUIDATED THIS MORNING AT SCUNTHORPE PROCESSING PLANT J-32. THEY ARE NOW NET ZERO. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!

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