Meghan Markle has a wonderful secret she will reveal soon through her friend Oprah. Bully Beef is a favourite dish of Markle’s, and she wants every one to check out this special dish, or she will get very angry and say things so bad you will all start crying.
Opening up a can of Bully
“When Meghan wakes up in the afternoon, about 4ish, she immediately opens up a can of Bully Beef, and if it is not delivered from the pantry to her room fast enough, she starts shouting at the staff, belittling them, insulting them and threatening to sack them allegedly,” one fearful staff member revealed anonymously.
Opening up a can of Bully, as she calls it is one of Meghan’s secrets to her ‘delightful’ persona, which is pretty nasty, as Harry himself testified when he revealed ‘What Meghan wants, she gets!’. In this case, it’s a can of Bully Beef, with a heavy dose of actual bullying if not delivered fast enough.
According to staff insiders, Meghan allegedly goes through PAs like the Vatican goes through choir boys, one minute they are there, next, they are seen crying in abject terror as they run away with their own lives.
Oprah will film a special show in her kitchen bestowing the vast benefits of eating Meghan Markle’s Bully Beef recipe with the message: “If you don’t eat my fucking Bully Beef recipe, I’m gonna come round and beat the shit out of you!”
Soviet Marxism and its totalitarian evil is upon us once more, and this time the much-loved childhood books of Dr. Seuss have come under the cancel culture hammer.
It does not matter if an image today or piece of literature is perceived as ‘racist’ today, it is a record of humanity in all its forms, and a record of history that should be preserved in all its glory. If history is erased, however nasty it is perceived in the future, then humanity cannot see how it evolved in thought and perception. Deleting history dooms humanity to keep repeating questionable parts of history over, and over again.
Where this hammer and sickle fall every month is another sign that Western democracy and the tenet of basic freedom of expression puts its foot one step closer to the grave.
The despicable demented pieces of cat piss who have brought themselves to cancel some of the Dr. Seuss books, are vile merchants of the enzootic soviet creep that is converging on all Western history, literature, art and science.
What are these savage cannibalistic brutes going to do next, and who gives them so much power as to even think they can cancel things?
These pinko motherfucker commie bastards should all be lined up and served their marching orders, because they’re in the system somewhere, they are being enabled by someone, and they are even being paid vast amounts of money to damage Western culture.
This is their Reichstag fire, this is their Stalinist book burning ceremony of hatred and intolerance.
The irony of the situation of course is that the people who claim to be ‘liberal’ and tolerant are the ones burning books this time, they claim to fight ‘hate speech’ with hatred and intolerance.
The worst part of the carnage of literature, art, science, history and freedom of speech being cancelled is the silence. Where is the outrage? Where are the professors, the publishers and the academic faculties, where are the political leaders, where are the policy and lawmakers?
Hailing from the small town of Brainerd, Minnesota, Shaquashisha LaQwandwell, 23, the state’s first ever transgender woman, was crowned Miss Minnesota in St. Paul on Monday.
This year’s Minnesota beauty pageant was an all-inclusive affair, with not only transgender women invited but even paraplegic women were duly encouraged to join.
Under Joe Biden’s new transgender directives, if you are a transgender biological male, you are welcome to join not only the military but any sport for women, or beauty pageant.
Accepting her prize LaQwandwell was naturally happy to win such a prestigious contest, and is now pushing her sights to enter Miss USA, and even the Miss Universe contest.
“Imma aks y’all do you lakk ma beautiful face and figure ni**az, cuz y’all bitchez gonna see me sashay in to Miss USA soon. Imma gon enter Miss USA, not wit ma 15 inch but da contest silly. Gotcha dere!”
At one point, LaQwandwell dropped her flowers and bent over to pick them up giving the judges all a solid eyeful of her meat and two veg, but that was neither here nor there, she has every right as any woman to join the contest. Bigotry and discrimination will not be tolerated.
During the sell-out Oprah interview, Meghan Markle was talking about her favourite subject – herself – when a cute little tweety boird landed on a branch next to the narcissist. The bird stayed there for a few seconds, then in an instant gently lifted its bottom and squirted a copious amount of bird shit onto Markle’s black couture dress.
They say getting shit on by a bird is good luck, and it seems Markle will need a lot of it in the future, seeing as her Netflix and Spotify deals are sinking faster than Harry’s ratings in the UK.
One of Oprah’s producers was professional about the bird shit incident.
“The dress looks okay with the bird shit on, in fact it looks like the kind of $4,000 dress some profligate virtue signalling parasitic narcissist would wear. Keep on filming, no need to stop!”
As for the heroic bird, it was later spotted eating from the couple’s garbage storage area, obviously stocking up its gut for some further butt explosions on some other deserving recipient.
UPDATE: March 11, 2021 – Some geezer has taken our idea and put it to video. Done very well, good production. Well done.
As Beijing Biden is holed up in his basement, a sitting corpse shitting mothballs and covered in cobwebs, a sprightly President Trump jumped out onto the CPAC 2021 stage.
The huge amount of support for Trump is evident as the crowds clapped and cheered throughout the president’s speech.
President Trump is going to go for a third win in 2024, but it is hard to see how he can win again if the American electoral system is so compromised. Hopefully, some integrity can be brought to the American electoral system in the future, however under the current corrupt conditions this is highly unlikely.
President Trump’s popularity must really grate with America’s socialists, and one can almost hear a collective groaning as Trump touted his 97% popularity poll amongst GOP.
Has President Trump forgotten about those in the GOP who dug their knives deep into his back only 6 weeks ago? One would hope that many of the cowardly betrayers will be hunted down and turfed out of the Republican Party, once and for all.
There was certainly no Stasi Cancel Culture around President Trump on his speech, as he talked to his heart’s content without anyone deleting him.
Looks like the worst nightmare of the socialist Americans has awakened once again. It will certainly be a beautiful sight to behold as they try to thwart Trump’s third coming in 2024. Start planning your deceitful thieving tricks now Democrats, you’re gonna need all the fraud you can muster in four years time.
Royal expert Charles Bartholomew reveals why Harry and Meghan are parasitical virtue signalling narcissists who only do things to benefit themselves. Prince Philip is currently in hospital at death’s door, but Harry and Meghan instead choose to go on celebutard chat shows.
“His grandfather is lying in a hospital fighting off an infection, and what does Harry and his parasite odalisque choose to do — talk on a vulgar banal celebrity chat show.
“If he’s not on the buses with a professional obsequious brown noser, Harry is stooping depths so low these days he might as well pick up a mop and start cleaning the diarrhoea littered floor. This disgusting betrayal of the royal family which gave him so much is a true sign that Harry’s character as a person is void of any form of decency, duty or honour.
“Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II gave the couple everything when they were in Britain. It was her generosity and kindness that was thrown back in her face in such an uncouth selfish manner by Harry and Meghan. By rejecting the goodness and generosity of the Queen of England, the couple ultimately rejected the British people as well who showed great love towards Harry and Meghan.
“Meghan Markle planned to leave the royal family before marrying Harry, as was clear in her calculating actions just after the marriage paid for by the British taxpayer was completed, and she birthed Harry’s child. Meghan not only used Harry to become a royal Duchess, but she played on the Queen’s goodwill to suddenly announce the couple were leaving for North America citing ‘press intrusion’ as a reason. Funnily enough, as soon as Harry and Meghan landed in North America, all they have been doing since is press related, courting chosen news outlets for their own selfish interests.
“There is nothing about Harry and Meghan that suggests ‘universal duty’, but only ‘selfish interest’ as they courted Netflix, and Spotify for multi-million dollar deals where they would only cheapen the monarchy to that of a celebrity freak show.
“As they fly around in gas guzzling jets all over the place, and ride in gas guzzling SUVs they choose to preach to the masses about ecological matters. Coming from a couple of freeloaders who live in a 16 bathroom McMansion in some grotesquely vulgar Hollywood neighbourhood, absolutely nothing good can be said for these virtue signalling self aggrandizing myopic narcissists.
“Former Prince Harry is a disgrace to the royal family, and has been indoctrinated by a calculating professional grifter who has allegedly birthed other children. Meghan’s lies have permanently damaged the royal family, seeing as she never had any intention of sticking around once she received her titles.
“To prevent further damage to Britain’s monarchy, it is imperative that the Sussex titles are rescinded and given to other royals who are more deserving. What about Sussex as a county? It is apparently served by a Duke and Duchess who live 5,000 miles away with no plans to return to Britain ever again. How can the people of Sussex allow this to happen, and how can the Monarchy allow this outrageous theft to continue?
“As the 99-year-old Duke of Edinburgh lies in his hospital bed, Harry and Meghan flaunt themselves on celebrity chat shows for their own benefit, not one thought is brought upon a senior royal who has dedicated his life to service and duty. Not one mention is made by these two vulgar fame-whores who were only in it for themselves, and everything else was a side show.”
The UK’s most popular horse racing festival is about to get underway, with the 2021 Cheltenham Festival kicking off on 16th March and running through to Gold Cup Day on the 19th. A definite highlight of the UK sports calendar, the four-day event features 28 races, pitting the best national hunt horses, jockeys and trainers from Britain and Ireland.
For some, Al Boum Photo might be the biggest story of the festival, but we think Rachael Blackmore’s tilt at the Champion Hurdle should be what everyone is talking about.
There has been a debate on female jockeys not getting chances in big races down the years, and, thankfully, that has started to change, albeit slowly. Blackmore rides the favourite, Honeysuckle, in the feature race on Day 1, and a victory in it would mean the highest-profile win for a female jockey.
The statistics have proven female jockeys are just as good as the male riders, but they simply have not got the chances in the biggest races. Blackmore can further emphasise that point further and cause racing’s bigwigs to have some further introspection.
A Gold Cup Hat-Trick
Al Boum Photo, a superb Irish chaser trained by Willie Mullins, is aiming for his third consecutive Gold Cup on 19th March, where a win will put him in the company of legendary horses like Arkle and Best Mate.
The Gold Cup is a ridiculously tough race to win, a gruelling three-mile slogfest with an unforgiving uphill finish. But Al Boum Photo has mastered it before – twice. His trainer has played things perfectly, keeping Al Boum Photo lightly-raced and primed for the main event. He will go off as the 3/1 favourite, but faces competition from the likes of A Plus Tard (likely saddled by Rachael Blackmore), Champ and Royal Pagaille.
Oh, Gordon. What Were You Thinking?
We won’t comment too much on the news of trainer Gordon Elliott’s suspension. It’s a breaking story, and it could change as more evidence comes to light. But the photos of the star trainer sitting atop a dead horse (the horse died during a training session) were not a good look for Elliott, or the sport of horse racing.
You need to have a passion and love horses dearly to do the job of Gordon Elliott, so you can give him the benefit of the doubt that he meant no harm. But it was ill-advised. What this means for his star horses like Envoi Allen and Tiger Roll, we will have to wait and see.
Return of the King?
On paper, Chacun Pour Soi will waltz through the field and win the Champion Chase as the untouchable odds-on favourite. But horse racing loves a comeback story, and the eye is drawn to Altior, an 8/1 shot further down the betting markets.
Altior was the undisputed king of the chasers for a few years, perhaps the best of the 21st century. He won 19 races in a row before finally snapping his streak in November 2019. He has had surgery and a couple of appearances since, but nobody really knows how he will perform here.
The head says Chacun Pour Soi, but the romantics will all want one last win from the great Altior. If it’s the latter, it will be one of the great comeback stories in racing history – perhaps eclipsing Sprinter Sacre in 2016.
Once upon a time, before the pandemic was even a whisper and when the world was full of possibility, I had a long lunch with Alexandre Hervé, now co-founder and executive creative director of the agency Romance in Paris. I can’t remember what we talked about – only that the conversation was relaxed and amusing. Perhaps I felt at home because the bistro was tucked away behind Place de Clichy, about two minutes from the street where my girlfriend (now my wife) lived back then.
Last week we had another long conversation – and this time I took notes. I’ve noticed that some advertising people seem vaguely embarrassed by what they do, as if they really want to be artists or charity workers. But Alexandre is proud of his work. Even passionate about it, which is appropriate given the name of the agency.
He wanted to work in advertising from the start. He grew up in an era when lavish spots were directed by the likes of Jean-Paul Goude or Ridley Scott. “I used to go to the cinema looking forward to seeing the ads as much as the films,” he recalls.
His career path began at the age of just 20, leading him to Euro RSCG, then Leg, famous for its Eurostar campaigns. DDB Paris was next, in 2003, as creative director. Under his watch it picked up a cargo load of Lions, as well as being named “the most awarded agency in the world” by The Gunn Report in 2012.
“Goodwill and mutual respect”
Romance was founded in 2015, with Christophe Lichtenstein. So why that name? “We came up with a lot of names, but most of them were already owned. I also felt we were no longer in an era where your name had to be aggressive. Romance was on the shortlist – and I liked the idea of creating some love between the audience and the advertiser. I don’t know if it’s the name that’s affected us or vice versa, but we try to do things that are sensitive, positive, without irony or sarcasm. We end each presentation with the words ‘Let’s start a romance’.”
The agency was originally created by DDB to pitch for the Audi business (DDB has a historic relationship with Volkswagen, as I’m sure you know). But these days, although it’s still part of the Omnicom group, it operates independently. “We’re separate agencies. Technically we could even pitch against one another, but there’s a goodwill and mutual respect between us that means we avoid being in competition.”
Romance works for many leading brands – Ricard, the sports store Decathlon and of course Audi – but it’s most admired for the series of films it has created for the supermarket Intermarché. The first was “L’Amour, L’Amour” in 2017. Rarely has an ad for a supermarket been so soaked in…well, romance. But it also reflected a reality, as each film illustrates an engagement by the retailer itself. The concept that inspired the first spot was “Helping the French eat a little better every day.”
“My two sons were teenagers at the time, and if you wanted to get people to eat better, they seemed to be the first group you’d need to convince. How do you do that? By telling them a story that touches them. After that it was just a case of acknowledging that when you’re a teenage boy at the supermarket, you tend to choose the prettiest cashier.”
The film was launched during TV talent show The Voice, when millions of French people had smartphones or tablets to hand. The social networks were soon abuzz with comments about the spot. “Rather than make an ad for social media, which people can easily ignore, we made a film for TV that they could talk about.”
The film was directed by Katia Lewkowicz, who Alex had worked with before on a Volkswagen spot. She was chosen over another contender: British director James Rouse (“Sorry, I Spent It On Myself”, for Harvey Nichols.) And in fact she and the rest of the team have returned for all of the more dramatic spots in the series.
Universal appeal
Alex says: “I wanted to go back to telling stories, which you don’t see as often in advertising these days.” And he wanted the stories to be specifically French ones, avoiding the neutrality caused, unconsciously or not, by wanting to please international awards juries. “You can’t forget your target audience. Mine is the French public. That’s why we chose Katia – she understands French attitudes to food.”
Ironically, the very Français Intermarché spots have a universal appeal. “I think it’s because they deal with emotion. There are many different forms of humour, and many different ways of being funny. But emotion – love, joy, sadness – unites us all. We’re moved by the same thing.”
All the spots have been tender, but the series hit an emotional high with “C’est Magnifique”, a Proustian tale in which a widower evokes the spirit of his late wife via her lost spaghetti sauce recipe.
“It was risky, because we were making a film for a mainstream retailer that dealt directly with death, probably for the first time in French advertising. Just like with the first film, we were walking a tightrope. If it had been badly done, it would have flopped. But we’re so demanding about the quality of the script, the cast and the directing that, in both cases, it worked.”
Popular French musician Benjamin Biolay provided the song, and everyone had a good cry. Music can be an expensive element of a commercial – and here it’s integral to the series. Alex points out that “L’Amour, L’Amour” by Mouloudji was not incredibly well known, which made it more accessible. Since then, the saga has become so renowned that musicians are keen to take part: the emerging rock band Terrenoire – fresh from their first album – barely hesitated when they were asked to contribute their song “Jusqu’à mon dernier souffle” (“Until My Last Breath”) to the Christmas spot.
This was not your average Christmas ad, either: it depicted the challenges faced by frontline medical workers during the pandemic. “I would have found it bizarre this year to make a typical Christmas ad with Santa Claus and so on. This is what we’ve all been going through. The medical workers were the heroes of the year – and I felt it was only right to pay homage to them.”
As usual, the film’s theme touched on Intermarché’s own policies. At the start of the pandemic, the retailer strengthened its commitment to supporting local suppliers. It distributed masks free of charge to hospitals and created priority checkouts for frontline staff. It also let shuttered bookstores sell books via its own website. And this Christmas, it gifted 100,000 boxes of chocolates to medical workers as a “thank you”.
The Intermarché campaign is so popular that there’s a Facebook group of viewers who reunite to watch each opus together. “Intermarché is now the preferred supermarket of French consumers. The business results have been incredible,” underlines Alex. “But we couldn’t have made these films if Intermarché was only concerned with profits. Behind the messages are genuine values.”
In fact, he says, Intermarché’s communication and social responsibility engagements are intermeshed. “We won’t work with clients who only care about money. When you can work in partnership with a client like Intermarché to shape a business model that actually gives something back to people, then you’re really doing your job as an agency.”
It’s not only U.S. Diplomats in China who are forced to get anal swabs, but now the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) is ordering Joe Biden to adopt the same Chinese system of Covid testing in America.
“I got a call from my boss Xi Jinping, today, and he said all Americans need anal swab tests done, you know, in their asses. I immediately called Dr. Fauci and told him to get swabbing. Zapata zamalala ding dong, errrrrausma, lepetoma, trauma!” Biden then started to mumble incoherent words, shaking erratically, his eyes rolled high in their sockets, as an Amazon cameraman was seen wheeling Biden away hurriedly from the White House studio set in Culver City, Los Angeles.
According to the new Chinese directive, all Americans will be forced to undergo the anal probe test.
Special drive-in anal swab test centres will require participants to park their cars, unwind their windows, and stick their naked butt holes out the car window to be anally swabbed.
“This is mandatory for all Americans. The Biden administration will be sending out letters to all Americans, so they can have their asses shafted with an anal probe,” a smiling Dr. Fauci revealed on CNN.
Former president, Barack Hussein Obama, and his wife Michael were also broadcast on the Democrat Party propaganda site CNN, where they urged all citizens to bare their buttocks and spread their cheeks to save America from the viral pandemic.
On Friday, there was a meltdown on the switchboards as many mainly homosexual men phoned the anal swab line demanding they were first in the queue to get probed.
Alex Goatse, 64, from San Francisco was desperate to get his anal rogering and phoned the line numerous times only to get an engaged tone.
“This is ridiculous, I’m a taxpayer, I pay my taxes! I demand to get my Chinese anal swab!”
As of Saturday, the whole anal swab program has been thrown into abject chaos from the sheer demand by many Americans. The government has appealed for calm, assuring that every American will get the anal swabbing they deserve, reamed by China, and with Joe Biden’s blessings.
Lady Gaga’s dog walker was shot and her two French bulldogs, Koji and Gustav, were stolen Wednesday night in Hollywood, a source close to the singer revealed.
The source said the celebrity “is offering half-a-million dollars to anyone who has her two dogs, no questions asked.”
There are many theories going around about who stole the dogs that belong to the celebrity.
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) said a man was shot during a robbery before 10 p.m. outside Lady Gaga’s residence and was transported to the hospital in stable condition.
The male suspect, who looked Chinese, took the two bulldogs from the victim, used a semi-automatic handgun and fled the scene in a white sedan, according to police.
One source has allegedly come forward though, and is keeping his identity a mystery due to the nature of the crime.
“I know who took the dogs. I was walking through China Town the other day and accidentally took a wrong turn. In the alleyway were these two little bulldogs that looked suspiciously like the ones Gaga lost.
“It was dark, but I could see these Chinese cooks come out of the backdoor of a Chinese restaurant illegally open. The dogs were in cages, and the Chinese took them into the kitchen. I then heard chopping sounds after a little yelping.”
The Chinese eat dog meat all the time, and believe dog meat has special medicinal properties. There is even a dog eating festival held every year in Yulin, Guangxi Province, China where dogs are brutally skinned alive then cooked.
The man then went into the Chinese restaurant to confront the cooks but instead ordered some Chop Suey, because he said it smelled so good.
“After I finished my meal, I crunched down on something hard. It was part of a dog’s collar, it was partially readable I could only make out the letters G-U-S-T.”
After projectile vomiting over the table, the man was thrown out of the restaurant by four angry Chinese waiters, who kept saying what a waste of good food. The waiters then scraped up the vomit to put it in the Won Ton soup for other customers.
Lady Gaga’s entourage were not replying to questions about the alleged incident.
