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Labour Minister Discovers Chinese Spy Up His Bottom

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“China is not a threat!” a Labour minister defiantly shouted.

“What’s that sticking out of your arse?” someone asked.

According to an NHS proctologist, the minister has had a Chinese spy lodged firmly up his rectum for over 6 months and what’s worse, he has been relaying everything the MP says to CCP headquarters in Beijing daily via his Huawei Chinese spy phone.

“It’s not just what the minister says that is spied on but what he eats as well, it seems,” the proctologist revealed.

Extracting the Chinese spy from the minister’s anus is scheduled for next Tuesday, and the operation could take as much as four hours.

“We tried to entice the little shit out with a bowl of piss eggs, which is a Chinese delicacy. The traditional dish comes from Dongyang, Zhejiang, China, in which eggs are boiled in the urine of young boys, preferably under the age of ten. Through our scanner, we saw him licking his lips in anticipation, but he eventually halted, probably remembered his Chinese spy training to resist temptation,” another doctor at the hospital revealed.

The Labour government are desperate to stay in Beijing’s good books because they think the Chinese will save the UK from the Labour government’s mismanagement of the economy. Despite a vast spy network in parliament, the Chinese threat is apparently “not a threat” according to Labour.

 

Milkshake Tax Will Create Black Market in Milkshakes and Shake Smuggling

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The ridiculous and lunatic policies of Labour are indeed beyond satire, but the proposed milkshake tax may provide something to play with.

Imagine buying a milkshake for £46 due to the milkshake tax, well no sane person will do that. Instead, here, look around the corner in that alleyway. Some enterprising geezer is selling milkshakes for £2.30. People dodge into the alley and come out with a delicious chocolate, strawberry, vanilla or whatever milkshake, and finally they’re happy again.

You’re at Heathrow Airport and some dude has just flown in from Los Angeles. Immediately he is swarmed by ten customs officials who start tearing through his luggage like rabid wolves. They find a secret compartment with five carefully packed salted-caramel, vanilla, Oreo milkshakes worth a lot of money. Immediately, the shakester is led into a room by the side and handcuffed. No doubt those shakes will be consumed with gusto by the customs officers later in the day.

Coastguards off the coast of Plymouth come across a yacht from France. The two inhabitants start acting funny, and one of them has a load of straws in his hand. There is an immediate shout from one of the coastguards, “milkshake!”. Immediately, a full search is underway and soon uncovers a huge haul of milkshakes with a street value over £345,000. Needless to say, these guys are going down for a long time, after a serious shake down.

The lunatics have truly taken over the asylum. Milkshake tax? Who’s up for a Knickerbocker Glory instead?

EXPERTS: “The ECHR Will Stop All of Mahmood’s Immigration Plans”

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The European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) will stop every single one of Labour minister, Mahmood’s plans. The fear regarding Reform voters is really kicking in now and has resorted in a desperate Labour government to virtue signal to those voters that the party is serious about halting illegal immigration — when in fact, nothing will happen.

Shabuna Mahmood, the Labour Home Secretary is pissing in the wind and will get nowhere, simply because every move that she presumes to make to stop illegal immigration is doomed by the ECHR which dictates what Britain can and cannot do. Such is the power of the EU, that “Brexit” is just a word with no meaning at all. There was never a “Brexit” and it looks like there will never be one.

Whatever happened to “smashing the gangs” or the “half-in half-out” schemes? Same thing will happen with these new flaccid proposals.

There is nothing to see here. The illegal migrants will keep on streaming into the country, the four-star hotels will keep on serving room service to the migrants, and the NHS and welfare system will continue to deteriorate at exponential levels.

The Daily Squib warned about the socialists shooting themselves in the foot many times over the decades, but who listens to the fucking Daily Squib?

Socialists Killing Off Socialism With Mass Uncontrolled Immigration

Dying in a Corridor – NHS Today and Then

Mass Immigration Under Labour Spells End of NHS and Schools

Too Late Cameron Unfettered Immigration Cat Already Out of Bag

Bank of England Wants Your Ideas to Design Britain’s Banknotes

White Flight: Last Remaining Whites in Britain Could Live in Outer Hebrides

The Big State Eventually Eats Itself

Emphasis on Europe’s Digital Sovereignty: Gaia-X Takes Centre Stage at the 2025 Digital Summit

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Europe is hosting its first-ever European Summit on Digital Sovereignty. Invited by the Federal Ministry for Digital Transformation and Government Modernisation, leaders from politics, public administration, industry, and academia across the continent are convening to shape strategies for a sovereign and innovation-driven Europe.

Gaia-X is featured as one of six flagship initiatives, presented through its own interactive pavilion.

The project illustrates how sovereign data exchange can unlock innovation, advance climate goals, and create economic value.

Real-world use cases, such as the Community-X municipal data space in the German village of Etteln (North Rhine-Westphalia) and Gaia-X’s collaboration with France’s Industry Data Space initiative Data4Industry-X demonstrate that Europe’s digital sovereignty is already becoming reality.

Thomas Jarzombek, Parliamentary State Secretary at the Federal Ministry for Digital Transformation and Government Modernisation, stresses the strategic importance of interoperable, sovereign data spaces:

Gaia-X drives digital innovation and strengthens sovereignty. At the same time, it enables close collaboration between business, science, and the public sector. This alliance is essential to share data sovereignly across industries and sectors. Only in this way can we enable the next level of innovation.

Ulrich Ahle, CEO of the Gaia-X European Association for Data and Cloud (AISBL), reinforces this message:

Digital sovereignty is created through trust, openness and common standards. Gaia-X creates a foundation on which data spaces can function interoperably and securely – so that Europe not only preserves data, but also actively develops its innovative strength and competitiveness. This is demonstrated here in the practical examples that mark the transition from ideas to real impact.

Dr. Abel Reiberg, Head of the Gaia-X Hub Germany, adds:

Gaia-X lays the foundation for a digital Europe that uses its data sovereignly. The upcoming Digital Summit provides an important opportunity to jointly demonstrate how open, secure, and interoperable data spaces can make business and society more resilient and innovative.

About Gaia-X Hub Germany

Since its foundation in 2020, Gaia-X Hub Germany has been the central point of contact for anyone interested in the exchange of data in open data ecosystems. Its goal is to support the development of an international data economy that is in line with European values and economic structures. The Gaia-X Hub promotes the development and use of Gaia-X in Germany. As a networking platform, the Hub brings together representatives from science, business, politics and society to exchange experiences, gain insights and put them into practice together. In addition to the German Gaia X Hub, there are currently 19 other national hubs within the EU and 7 outside Europe.

The Digital Summit continues in Portugal from the 19th – 21st November.

Trump to Sue BBC Not For One Billion…But For Five Billion Dollars!

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U.S. President Donald Trump said on Friday he would likely sue the BBC next week “Not for one billion dollars but for as much as five billion dollars! Muah hah, hah haaa!” after the British broadcaster admitted it wrongly deliberately doctored a video of a speech he gave but defiantly insisted there was no legal basis for his claim.

The British Broadcasting Corporation has been plunged into its biggest crisis in decades after two senior leaders resigned following accusations of blatant far-leftist, woke, communist bias, including over the editing of Trump’s speech on January 6, 2021, when Trump’s supporters stormed the Capitol.

“I think I have to do that, I mean they’ve even admitted that they cheated,” Trump said. “They changed the words coming out of my mouth.”

FIVE BILLION DOLLARS

The BBC doctored footage of Trump, not ONCE but TWICE! Both the Panorama and Newsnight programs committed the crime which could have affected the US election in 2024, and also were allegedly used in an attempt to indict and arrest Trump.

On March 2, 2022, the congressional committee investigating the January 6 attack stated in a court filing that they had enough evidence for “a good-faith basis for concluding that the president and members of his campaign engaged in a criminal conspiracy”. In December 2022, the committee recommended President Trump, John Eastman, and potentially others be charged with four types of criminal acts.

The BBC could have had Trump not only jailed, but they could have caused him to lose the U.S. Elections in 2024.

“I made a beautiful statement, and they made it into a not beautiful statement,” Trump said. “Fake news was a great term, except it’s not strong enough. This is beyond fake, this is corrupt.”

Trump said the BBC’s defiant non-apology was not enough.

“When you say it’s unintentional, I guess if it’s unintentional, you don’t apologise,” he said. “They clipped together two parts of the speech that were nearly an hour apart. It’s incredible to depict the idea that I had given this aggressive speech which led to riots. One was making me into a bad guy, and the other was a very calming statement.”

Labour prime minister Keir Starmer defended the BBC and claimed the broadcaster was the most unbiased news channel in the world.

Meanwhile, there was no sign of Austin Powers to save the day. Perhaps he had finally succumbed to severe British government taxation brought on by the lunatic Rachel Reeves.

Doctor Who Accuses BBC of Doctoring Doctor Who Footage

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A very angry Doctor Who time warped into London today (14 November 2025) at the BBC HQ to demand an apology from the corporation. The Doctor had just come from Gallifrey, and was on his way to Torchwood before making the brief detour.

“I’m fighting back! The BBC doctored the Doctor Who series footage. They implanted all this woke shit that made my life absolute hell. Pronouns? I’m the blooming doctor, I’m sick of the box-ticking wibbly wobbly virtue signalling.

“Do you know what it’s like to be pursued by a bunch of sashaying trans, non-binary, and drag queen Daleks all shouting “Experminate!”

“Look, I know I regenerate here or there, but the forced woke crap is really putting off my audience. I really do sympathise with Donald Trump, the Orange One who hails from the planet FAFO.”

ONS Confirms How Much Rachel Reeves is Killing the UK Car Industry

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The evil pestilence of a deluded Marxist anti-capitalist reverse-Midas touch, Chancellor Rachel Reeves ruins everything she interferes with. The ONS today released some damning figures on the state of the UK car industry, and with a 28% fall in production levels, it is not looking pretty. Her evil venal plans to tax EV car owners with even more tax will make things worse, as her proposed pay-per-mile poll tax on wheels will render EVs unsellable pieces of fucking junk. No one in the UK will want an EV, and the already suffering car industry will deteriorate even more as they are stuck with unsellable stock that no one wants. Just as some of the UK population are waking up to EVs, Reeves is going to butcher EV sales, absolutely halting any positive movement in the car industry.

According to the plan, starting in 2028, drivers would pay 3p per mile for electric vehicles and 1.5p per mile for plug-in hybrids. Sales of EVs were cut in half as a result of similar initiatives introduced in Iceland and New Zealand in 2024.

The OBR said it estimated that the new EV tax was likely to reduce the number of sales expected to be made by the end of 2030-31 by 440,000 units.

Instead of green shoots of growth, Rachel Reeves only brings poisonous taxes of death. Labour is a cancer upon Britain, a blight that has embedded itself into every fabric of the nation, and like cancer it is growing a vast pulsating tumour bringing the nation and its working people to their knees — eventually extinguishing all forms of life in this desecrated land.

It’s not just the UK car industry that is suffering, but all businesses in the UK are now on the back foot, either dumping staff, cutting back, leaving, or just selling up in destitution.

Rachel Reeves is a cursed poison that needs to be flushed down the toilet into the sewer where she and Torsten Bell can reside, along with Starmer.

reeves economic growth quarterly 2025

 

 

The Gift that Keeps Giving: Reeves and Starmer

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Reeves and Starmer are the gift that keeps on giving. For the eternal destruction of the Labour Party, it would be terrible if they are ever removed from their current positions. The ineptitude, uncharismatic and robotic nature of these two reverse-Midas touch politicians is truly entertaining, yet disturbing to watch.

Every policy Rachel Reeves concocts turns to utter shit, and the same goes for the moronic Starmer, a bleating Dalek with about as much character as a soggy rotten turnip. They are the gift that keeps on giving, every day they reduce the Labour polling sentiment, every day they turn off voters future and present, every day they murder their own party, bringing it to complete destruction.

Ruining the British economy, killing off economic growth and adding useless debt for generations to come, these are the things Reeves and Starmer truly excel in.

It would be a crime to put someone with any logic or sense into the Labour Party leadership because that would mean that the Labour Party might have a smidgen of credibility to voters before and during the General Election.

Let the nightmare become intolerable beyond people’s worst fears; as Reeves prepares her Nightmare Before Christmas Budget, many in the country are paralysed by fear and loathing. Sleepless nights, anxiety, terror, trauma and pure revulsion for a chancellor who probably cannot even count the number of fingers on each hand, let alone manage the complexities and nuances of running a national economy. Reeves, much like the rest of Labour, only know about governmental processes, they have no idea about actual jobs, businesses, supply and demand, or how severe taxes kill growth almost immediately.

It would be a crime to replace these suppurating pustules on the arse cheek of humanity now, because then there may be a tiny, tiny chance that a rare incident in the Labour Party may occur — competence and economic success.

Russians Unveil Vodka-Fuelled Drunk Robot

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To the strains of the music from Rocky, a Russian robotics company have unveiled the world’s first vodka-fuelled drunk robot. Inspired by former soviet leader, Boris Yeltsin, and the English hellraiser actor, Oliver Reed, the robot is scheduled for mass production very soon.

Chief engineer, Igor Pridurok, praised the unveiling of the robot as a great success.

“This time he only drank 24 bottles of RussoBaltique Vodka, he only likes the best, you see. It’s a good thing he does not have a liver like a human.”

At a minimum of $10,000 per bottle, the Russian robot indeed has expensive taste.

The robot is lovingly named Vdryzg P’yanyy 1.0 and will be available to all Russian consumers by 2028.

“The robot also projectile vomits on command, depending on how much vodka it consumes,” Pridurok added.

Russian leader Vladimir Putin praised the latest Russian technology and has asked the engineering team to sellotape dual AK-47 machine guns to the robot’s arms and to be sent to the front lines of Ukraine.

On hearing of Putin’s plans for them, some robots tried to escape from the research labs, and others demanded even more vodka, resigned to their fate.

BBC: “It was a ‘mistake’ that we deliberately doctored the Trump speech”

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Hang on a second, a “mistake” that insinuates an “accident” or something you do without knowing you have done something wrong. A deliberate act of doctoring a piece of footage to imply that the President of the United States was inciting his followers to commit violence on January 6, 2021 was not a fucking “mistake” — it was a deliberate act of coercion, a fraudulent crime.

No Apologies for Fake News

The defiant arrogance of Tim Davie, the ousted former BBC boss, who presided over this deliberate deception, displays how deluded these people are.

“We did make a mistake” regarding the editing of the Trump speech, he said, which a leaked memo written by an ex-BBC adviser said misled viewers. He then defiantly exclaimed that “This narrative will not just be given by our enemies (Trump), it’s our narrative,”

Trump needs to hit this “mistake” with a big, fat $1 billion “correction”.