This is an emergency communiqué to all citizens of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain – Pigeons! Yes, comrades, these creatures are hateful symbols of dangerous Colonial, Imperialistic, Capitalist, Democratic ideologies that harm and threaten our socialist principles as the country transitions from hard-left socialism to communism. In this time of change and transition, any citizen found feeding, looking at, or speaking of pigeons will be arrested on the spot by Stasi enforcement officers and agents.
JUST IN: The UK has now arrested more than 12,000 people for free speech online.
— Polymarket (@Polymarket) January 12, 2026
🚨 PRISON ISLAND BRITAIN: Handcuffed for Feeding Pigeons?! 🇬🇧😡
Meanwhile in Harrow, England (just days ago)…
“She’s getting arrested for feeding the pigeons”
This sounds like a dystopian joke… but it’s REAL.
A harmless, non-threatening lady surrounded by nearly a DOZEN… pic.twitter.com/5vM3fDaR8f
— 🇬🇧British and Proud🇬🇧 (@unionjackspirit) January 10, 2026
Comrade Starmer and the Labour Party will not tolerate any fraternising with pigeons. You will be arrested and transported to a Gulag in the north and liquidated. Net Zero Juice is the byproduct of many citizens who did not abide by our Soviet rules.
WEEKLY BULLETIN
JANICE MULRONEY, 32, OF TROTSKY AVENUE, HARROW, HAS BEEN AWARDED AN INCREASE OF 0.0034 GRAMS OF SALT RATIONS FOR THREE MONTHS, AND A BOX OF TRIPLE USED TOILET PAPER. SHE REPORTED HER 6-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER, 8-YEAR-OLD SON AND THEIR 7-YEAR-OLD FRIEND FOR FEEDING A WOUNDED PIGEON WITH PIECES OF BREAD. THEY WERE TAKEN AWAY IN THE EARLY HOURS OF SUNDAY MORNING AND LIQUIDATED, THEN PROCESSED INTO NET ZERO JUICE. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN AND REPORT!
You may think you are being funny but you are not. We have laws in this country that must be obeyed and that woman disobeyed our laws and this is why she was arrested. Good riddance. I am going to make sure your website is shut down. Consider yourself reported.