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Meghan Markle Could Sell Sussex Branded Landmines On Instagram

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Meghan Markle Could Sell Sussex Branded Landmines On Instagram

Meghan Markle loves money so much, she is now considering selling Sussex branded landmines on her Instagram affiliate marketing shop. The landmines would be dropshipped and delivered to any war zone, DMZ or territory with next day shipping available, giving her a nice tidy commission.

It’s the dollars, any way to make cash money is okay, and Markle is no exception to this rule.

It is not certain which type of Sussex branded landmines Meghan will go for, but it will probably be the type that blows people up.

Mine expert Hugo Boom is an ex-Pentagon arms salesman and suggests the celebrity influencer sells mines like the M18A1 Claymore fragmentation mine in bulk, maybe 100,000 units minimum, which in commission sales could be top-notch.

Bulk orders from places like Myanmar or Hamas would make for some serious cash.

“The M18 is a beautiful piece of ordnance. When detonated, the explosion drives the matrix forward, out of the mine at a velocity of 3,937 ft/s, at the same time breaking it into individual fragments. The steel balls are projected in a 60 degree fan-shaped pattern that is 6.6 ft high and 55 yd wide at a range of 55 yd. The force of the explosion deforms the relatively soft steel balls into a shape similar to a .22 rimfire projectile.

“If she’s going for real sales, I also suggest the Sussex branded M16 APM bounding mine. These fuckers sell like hot cakes. When it is tripped, a small propelling charge launches the body of the mine 3 to 4 feet into the air, where the main charge detonates and sprays fragmentation at roughly waist height. I love these things, they’re absolute genius. Jack-in-the-box shit right there!

“Okay, I heard she’s selling jam as well. I gotta tell you, after these mines go off, it kinda looks like jam, except maybe a few eyeballs, and bones in the mix too!”

Vicar Criticised for Refurbishing 15th Century Village Church

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Vicar Criticised for Refurbishing 15th Century Village Church

Villagers have criticised their vicar for refurbishing the village’s 15th century church to resemble something “very unchristian”. From recent photographs, it is clear the village church has undergone radical changes.

Those living in Pringlefuncle Heath, Grindlesfartledean, labelled the refurbishment an “abomination” and “hideous eyesore” after the scaffolding and plastic sheeting was pulled down this week.

The Rev Peter Monkswaithe said that the refurbishment on the Grade 1-listed St Crusto’s Church “is a necessary progressive change made for the times we are living in right now”, but local residents said the structure is horrific and “totally out of keeping with the beautiful landscape”.

Photographs taken in the village, which was the setting of Barrowsanus in the BBC series All Creatures Small and Tiny, showed the refurbished Anglican church, with minarets in stark contrast to the remaining original brickwork of the rest of the church.

Christine Innabred, 62, a businesswoman who lives in Grindlesfartledean launched a “stop the refurbishment” petition that garnered 31 signatures last year in a village with a population of just 500.

She called the situation a “fucking disgrace”, and added: “From the hills that surround the village it can be seen for miles and looks so out of place, particularly when the rest of the church has been left in its original state.”

Reverend Monkswaithe anticipated that any “negativity” around the decision would fall to him.

He said the refurbishment was irreversible, “it is what it is, Alhamdulillah, things have changed in England and as a nation we must accept Allah into our hearts”.

“In a few months, I’m hoping people will get used to the daily calls to prayer and the hysteria will fade down.”

Reverend Monkswaithe says he hopes villagers will ‘get used’ to the new-look church.

Reginald Pisstrower, 73, said the vicar had “disfigured the church” and “changed the face of the village”.

Rachel Sharter lives two miles from Grindlesfartledean in Furqueton Hurst, but said she can still see the minarets, and hear the muezzin calling to prayer every day, scaring her chickens.

She added: “You could never see the church before, but now there’s no missing it.”

Mr Monkswaithe’s decision received some support on social media.

One supporter wrote: “Mashallah! The Christians have finally seen the truth, there is only one god, and he is Allah!”

Another said: “Soon the entire country will belong to Muslims. Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim. Allahu Akbar!”

Labour minister, Angela Rayner, is set to visit the village next Friday to attend prayers. Today, she commended the vicar on a “job well done”.

Meghan Markle Considering Joining OnlyFans

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Meghan Markle Considering Joining OnlyFans

Along with selling dropshipped products on Instagram, the celebrity influencer is also considering joining OnlyFans, a place where the real money is made.

“She’s already selling jam, so why not start selling crusty knickers with a little (jam) in those as well? The simps of OnlyFans would lap those up like they were crumpets in a tea shop. There are women on OnlyFans literally making millions selling their crusty used knickers to losers all over the internet,” a PR adviser at top public relations firm, Elite Los Angeles PR, revealed on Friday.

OnlyFans and Meghan Markle could be a very lucrative moneymaker, more so than selling bland slave-made tat on Instagram.

“She’s a bit old now, but there’s still a good market for the older ladies. I think she should get one of those football boob jobs, and botox lips that look like a burst tyre. Slap on the fake eyelashes and all that crap, then she needs a decent camera, get those jam jars out, and she’s good to go. Private shows alone would be a real money spinner, especially if she has one of those pink plastic buzzer things they stick in, not sure what they’re called.”

OnlyFans money talks, jammy knickers, rock hard c*cks!

White Boy Stung by African Wasp in Lesotho

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White Boy Stung by African Wasp in Lesotho

A white boy has been stung rather badly by a very angry female African wasp, it has been reported.

According to witnesses, the white boy, who is rather partial to “virtue signalling and playing the victim card”, angered the African wasp so much, it stung him multiple times.

He has now left the scene and in fact left Africa with his tail firmly between his legs.

Even David Attenborough hates these fucking African wasps, and that’s saying something.

Poverty Britain Rachel Reeves Condemns Millions to Misery

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Poverty Britain Rachel Reeves Condemns Millions to Misery

The Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) has halved Britain’s growth and warned the tax burden will hit a new record under Ms Reeves, from 35.3pc of gross domestic product (GDP) this year to an historic high of 37.7pc in 2027-28. The Worker’s Rights Charter means that many people will never be employed and will add to the burden on the taxpayer as millions more will claim benefits. This is poverty Britain.

The insane policies of Rachel Reeves have choked growth in the UK. The rise in National Insurance, kicking in next month, will cost firms billions, discouraging hiring and investment. Frozen income tax thresholds and higher stamp duty will destroy household finances, along with skyrocketing Net Zero energy costs and Council (poll) tax increases.

Poverty will increase in Britain because of Labour’s inhumane policies, and unemployment will rise due to the delusional policies of Reeves, making employing people an impossibility for many businesses.

Reeves has tried to blame Trump for the economic downturn in Britain on multiple occasions, but the UK economy shrank by 0.1% in January before the markets had priced in the Trump tariff wars.

Almost £5 billion of welfare cuts will leave an estimated quarter of a million more people, including 50,000 children, in absolute poverty by the end of the decade, according to the Government’s own impact assessment.

Meanwhile, with no deterrent for illegal Channel crossings, over 30,000 illegal migrants have crossed over from France since Labour took over, and the cost for putting the hundreds of thousands of asylum seekers up in luxury hotels is now costing the taxpayer £6.5 million per day, not including the room service costs.

When Reeves opened her mouth today in parliament, the value of the pound slumped further and news came through that the OBR had halved its estimates for growth in the UK economy this year.

Rachel Reeves “Growth” Policies Mean Reduction in Living Standards by 2030

Commissar Reeves Announces Great News About the Shrinking UK Economy

Labour to Add £6.43 Trillion Debt by 2029

Comrades, Today is a Big Day For My Second Soviet Budget

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Comrades, Today is a Big Day For My Second Soviet Budget

Commissar Rachel Reeves will address the Duma House of Comrades today to proudly announce that since her first Soviet Budget, Britain is now in recession and a Great Depression has fallen over the Soviet People’s Republic of Britain. The commissar’s second soviet budget will bring even more horror and misery to the vile proles.

RECESSION BRITAIN

“Comrades, apparatchiks, civil servants, train drivers, union bosses, fat cat council bosses, NHS managers, Bolsheviks, and the everyday working proletariat scum. I am proud to announce that today I will address the Soviet Duma of Britain about how my first budget’s policies have ruined the economy and made the lives of Britons a fucking misery.

“Thanks to my “growth” policies of heavy taxation, heavy regulation, and punishing business costs, which have reduced the quality of life to never before seen levels, as well as going on a £70 billion spending splurge on useless Big State socialist projects, I have been called forward once again to punish Britons further by announcing Labour will put Britain into a further £6.4 trillion of debt by 2029.

“Do not worry, civil servants of the Big State, Labour ministers, train drivers, council managers and bosses and union bosses all on vast taxpayer salaries and pensions will be exempt from the horrors I have brought upon the ordinary British taxpayers and the filthy capitalist private sector.

“The Red Labour government is dedicated to increasing taxes even further, increasing useless regulations that will further inhibit business, and punishing those who work hard and save by confiscating wealth from the bourgeoisie and business community. We are also destroying the vile landed gentry represented by the Kulak farmer class. These parasitical capitalist swine have dared to survive for generations, providing food for the population of Britain. Thanks to my policies, they will be stopped in their tracks and bankrupted as their wealth is siphoned off and redistributed to people who have never worked a day in their lives. Our redistribution of wealth from wealth creators to the feckless subclasses and illegal immigrants is the correct action to implement.

“Through collectivisation we as a Soviet nation are becoming stronger in poverty, and destitution. Why have a recession when you can have a Great Depression? Comrades, this is my goal as Commissar of the Soviet People’s Bank.

“Comrades, I am proud to announce and celebrate our economy shrinking into recession, by cancelling the previous proposed increase of 2.1 grams in chocolate rations that was scheduled for this year, and instead replace it with one rotten turnip for the proletariat filth.”

INGSOC ORDER 8564324-9076-S

COLIN PUMPLESWANK OF 871 URINE ROAD, STAINES WAS TODAY CHARGED WITH ATTEMPTS TO INCREASE HIS WEALTH BY RUNNING A BUSINESS SELLING GRAPES, WHICH ARE A RARE COMMODITY ONLY ALLOWED FOR HIGH PARTY LABOUR MEMBERS. HE HAS BEEN CHARGED AND CONVICTED TO 45 YEARS OF HARD LABOUR BREAKING ROCKS IN GRIMSBY GULAG. HE GLADLY CONFESSED TO HIS VARIOUS CRIMES, INCLUDING SOCIAL MEDIA THOUGHTCRIME, SELLING GRAPES ILLICITLY TO PROLES AND PROFITING OFF THIS EVIL CAPITALIST ACTION. PROLETARIAT SOVIET CITIZENS OF BRITAIN ARE PROHIBITED FROM EATING OR PURCHASING GOODS, WHICH ARE RESERVED ONLY FOR HIGH PARTY COMRADES. IF FOUND SELLING OR CONSUMING RESERVED GOODS, PROLES WILL BE LIQUIDATED AND RECYCLED INTO NET ZERO JUICE (AVAILABLE IN SELECT SOVIETMARKET OUTLETS).

Progressive Democrats Say “Violence is Okay” Against Trump at Denver Rally

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Progressive Democrats Say “Violence is Okay” Against Trump at Denver Rally

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, D-N.Y., and Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., drew big crowds at a rally in Denver, Colorado, on Friday as they tour across the U.S. on their “Fighting Oligarchy” tour. Many progressive Democrats at the rally openly called for violence against Trump and his administration, as well as the use of guerilla tactics to wound the government.

Watch the video here

The series of bombings against Tesla are an example of the violence meted out by Democrats.

Carrying banners depicting Trump’s beheaded head, one woman wearing a mask casually said “Yes, I am, I believe it’s time that the people straight cut his fucking head off” when asked if she wanted Trump dead by a reporter at the rally.

Another Democrat supporter revealed that President Trump should be hung upside down by his feet, because that is what happened to Mussolini and to fascists.

“I think, the people in power, that’s all they’re going to listen to now, we’ve done the rallies, we’ve done all these things, and they don’t listen, and now we’ve done something that’s finally got people to listen,” another progressive said when asked if violence works.

Looks like the Dems are upping their game, somewhat …

Watch the video here

The Empty Cinemas of Woke Snow White

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The Empty Cinemas of Woke Snow White

Disney doubled-down on wokism by releasing an atrocious, disgusting woke Snow White remake defiling of the original Snow White film, which has been greeted with empty cinema seats across the globe.

“I’d rather have my eyes and ears gouged out with ice cream scoops than watch that woke shit,” some kid said in Los Angeles outside an empty IMAX theatre broadcasting the Disney film.

People genuinely have had enough.

snow white 2025 flopBy adopting the Marxist woke ideology, which defiles everything it infects, Disney have committed corporate suicide. Wokism murdered the Star Wars franchise, killed off Indiana Jones, and now it’s woke Snow White’s turn.

The ironic part of this sorry affair is that these fuckers are so indoctrinated in woke theory and ideology that losing millions of dollars will still not awaken them from the woke indoctrination, they will double-down and triple-down until there is nothing left in their bank accounts.

Good luck with recouping the $410 million ($270 million for production) budget for this woke mess.

We can only hope they keep going, and going until they have nothing left. Well done, woke Disney. Keep going fuckers. Woke Snow White is an utter disgrace, and the woke Disney board of directors all need to be fired for this atrocious crime against cinema.

The original Snow White was nominated for Best Musical Score at the Academy Awards in 1938, and the next year, producer Walt Disney was awarded an honorary Oscar for the film. This award was unique, consisting of one normal-sized, plus seven miniature Oscar statuettes. They were presented to Disney by Shirley Temple.

Its prototypical animated feature and use of fairy tale adaptations as well as technical innovation became a major milestone of the early animation industry, Snow White is widely regarded as one of the greatest films ever made and creating the new form of the golden age of animation; Disney’s take on the fairy tale has had a significant cultural effect, resulting in popular theme park attractions, a video game, and a Broadway musical.

In 1989, the United States Library of Congress deemed the film “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” and selected it as one of the first 25 films for preservation in the National Film Registry. The American Film Institute ranked it among the 100 greatest American films, and also named the film as the greatest American animated film of all time in 2008.

Great News! Keir Starmer Labour to Add £6.43 Trillion Debt by 2029

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Great News! Keir Starmer Labour to Add £6.43 Trillion Debt by 2029

More great news for the people of Britain today trickled in, much like a torrent of bubbling warm diarrhoea. The Keir Starmer Labour government will add £6.43 Trillion of public debt to the UK economy of “growth” by 2029. This is on top of the £2.66 Trillion debt already on the books. The total will thus be £9.09 Trillion debt to gift to the future generations of Britons thanks to Labour.

It will mean that by 2029-30, public spending per household is set to reach £45,184. Net debt is growing at £6,284 per second or £543 million per day.

About 90% of the Labour spending will go directly to the Big State, where vast salaries and pensions, as well as unlimited expense accounts make up much of the taxpayer funded debt.

“We need the public to work harder and pay more taxes so they can fund the lifestyle of Big State employees, even though our government is borrowing trillions of pounds no one will ever be able to pay back we need to spend other people’s money until nothing is left but pure debt,” a Labour QUANGO operative appealed during a BBC broadcast on Monday.

£6.43 Trillion debt is a sizeable amount of money to waste down a socialist black hole, but it’s all in a day’s work for the Marxist Labour government under Keir Starmer.

Rachel Reeves, the Chancellor, recently announced that living standards will be considerably lower in the UK by 2029 as well.

Remember, you get what you voted for, and so do your children and grandchildren.

Labour are sealing the future of Britain, a bankrupted, demoralised dystopian nightmare of a future where the formerly green English countryside will be covered by rows upon rows of brutalist concrete soviet buildings to house the millions of Third World migrants let in with the Labour Open Door Policy, and the previous socialist idiot, Boris Johnson’s Boris Wave of 2.8 million migrants.

There will be no more trees, babbling brooks, grass meadows, or rambling English hills, it will just be solar panels, wind farms and soviet social housing amongst the grey, dismal concrete.

Looks like the future’s so bright, you got to wear concrete shades.

 

Film News: Why Tarzan Will Always be Portrayed as White

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Film News: Why Tarzan Will Always be Portrayed as White

There’s some good news for film fans regarding woke Hollywood film producers constrained to producing Tarzan films only with a white actor.

“It’s something even the wokest of woke film producers and woke propaganda merchants cannot fuck with. They fucked “Snow White” and everything else, but they can’t touch Tarzan,” a film industry insider revealed.

It comes as cinemas across the UK & U.S. are reported to be mostly empty over the Snow White remake film’s ‘woke’ controversy.

Why is that? Why can’t they mess with Tarzan?

“Well, it’s impossible for these woke companies to mess with Tarzan, simply because you can’t have a black man swinging on vines through trees, and acting like a monkey, making ‘ook’ noises which essentially is what Tarzan does in the films,” the industry worker added.

Looks like Tarzan is safe in the film world — for now.

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