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EU Releases Ransomware Virus Onto Brexit Britain

 

The virus demands Britain pays the hacking group £85 billion in Bitcoins or all data on the computers will be deleted.

GCHQ has identified one of the hackers as a guy called Juncky, his real name is Jean Claude Juncker, who is well known to the authorities as a very dangerous malevolent joker character.

Ransomware

“We have tracked this hacking group to a building in Brussels, Belgium. Juncky and his crew are a highly dangerous team of experts in the field of blackmail, extortion and many other criminal activities,” Miles Eaveridge, senior cyber crimes analyst at MI6 revealed today.

If your computer has been affected by this malicious virus, do not pay the ransom, just delete everything and start again with your backed up data with a clean slate.

Jeremy Corbyn: “I Have No Understanding of Maths and Neither Do My MPs”

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“Free hand jobs for every migrant, Free Lamborghinis for every school leaver, dance lessons for convicted murderers, no prisons, no poverty ever again because everything will be free, and 20 million more police officers.”

This sort of madness can only be dreamed up by a maniacal Trotskyite Marxist deranged madman like Jeremy Corbyn, a person who does not realise that there are costs for things, and there are budgets that governments have to adhere to.

The UK is already £1.2 Trillion in debt thanks to the previous Labour government, and yet in this new manifesto, it seems that not one lesson was ever learned by the grotesque useless spending of the past years. You can’t just give people free stuff, someone has to pay for this shit, but the high earners are the Labour target, so if you tax them to death, what incentive is there for aspiration, innovation or growth — none.

Corbyn would ideally like to nationalise all private property, and that’s including your home which you have worked and scraped for years to acquire. He also wants to bring the trade unions into Number 10, which would be a disaster for all business and enterprise in the UK.

As for migration, it’s a big fucking open door for Corbyn’s Marxist Momentum movement. People in Britain are already heaped up on top of each other like rats, you can’t drive on the traffic filled narrow British roads any more, and here is this guy inviting the rest of Sub Saharan Africa, the Middle East and South East Asia into the tiny Isle of Britain. There’s not enough square feet of land for that, what are you going to do, have people hanging from trees and digging underground?

The ludicrous Labour manifesto is so over the top that even a Venezuelan tin pot socialist dictator would baulk at it, and yet the lemmings who do not question, who do not look at other sources, or basically cannot count accept this shit without even a drop of logical, perceptive thought. How insane that socialists can be this fucking dumb, that they are some sort of robotic ‘yes’ monkey, with no ability to see through the lies and bullshit.

A post-Corbyn government according to the Marxist socialists will have everyone as equal, which in human term is impossible, but they just do not get it. How can you have a rocket scientist and a street sweeper as equal?

The hypocrisy of socialists and communists is that they live in a highly unequal society, where high party officials have their own lanes on roads, their own shops, and they send their children to the best private schools, the rest of the proles are all equal in shite, in poverty and derision.

Socialism also creates poverty, because it normalises it, and it encourages those in poverty to stay in poverty by giving them benefit payments to do so. This is a never ending generational cycle of poverty that can only be broken by proper education, enterprise and a market where capitalistic competition is present.

Anyone who has any sense would run a thousand miles away from Corbyn, but to do so you would have to possess an education, and knowledge of history, as well as a honed sense of logic, which socialists do not possess.

You socialist do-gooder poseurs are merely posturing, when it comes to the crunch you are more racist than conservatives, more un-progressive, and pander to soviet political correctness, censorship.

Let us hope for Britain’s sake we never see a Labour government ever again, for it is with this unholy pathetic misadventure that will push the country deep into the mire to never recover from the path it has taken.

If you want chaos, death, and poverty, please vote for Jeremy Corbyn’s Britain, because under his watch after he invites another 80% of the third world into the country, there will be no NHS, no schools or places to live.

This place is already full, and by piling rats upon rats, eventually they start to eat each other. That is Labour’s Britain, a festering polluted vomit prison where humans are piled upon each other by the million, all the grass is now mud and excrement and over the collective moaning you will hear the voice of Corbyn saying how wonderful life is under socialism. Fuck you Corbyn. Never, never, never shall you be allowed to create your Marxist utopia that never existed in human history or will ever exist.

Socialism and Communism have been responsible for over 140 million human deaths throughout history, and this is the crux of the whole situation, they murdered those people for their ideology and party. Who is to say it won’t happen again?

Trump’s New FBI Director Comes Under Democrat Scrutiny

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“He kinda has a weird accent when he speaks,” one clueless CNN journalist commented during the grand unveiling.

Not many people have been able to figure out who the new FBI director would be, but on Thursday, to a packed press office, the deed was done to much head scratching.

“I believe I have seen this guy’s face somewhere before but cannot place it at the moment. He’s not very tall but I’ve heard he is a great friend of Trump’s and helped him immensely during the election,” another journalist said.

Taking the podium, the newly appointed FBI  director, Brad Poutin, seemed resolute and determined to treat the job just like any other he has had in the past.

“I have a saying from where I come. If it can’t be solved with words, it can be solved with polonium and a troupe of hackers. I would first like to thank my great friend, Donald Trump, who I have known for many years, as have my business associates and other agencies, of which I cannot mention here. I will endeavour to do my best for your country, ahem, I mean my country to solve all the crimes and whatnot. You know what I mean, okay thank you, I have to go now, there are many people I need to deal with, i.e. put them underground. Spasibo!”

 

Comrade Corbyn Addresses High Party Apparatchiks and Bolsheviks

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Comrade Corbyn has told Soviet Labour activists they have four weeks to win the chance to “take our wealth back” as he made an unashamedly Marxist pitch to be supreme commander of the People’s British Soviet Democratic Republic.

Launching the party’s General Election Soviet manifesto in Manchester, Comrade Corbyn said Labour will “ruin” the country as he launched an all-out attack on the wealthiest in society.

“Comrades, I was sitting in my dacha last week and thought to myself, this is it, this is the only chance we have to let the ruling classes tremble at a communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Workingmen of all countries, unite!”

The thunderous words coming from the Comrade brought cheers from party officials as they shouted ‘Hail! Comrade Corbyn! Supreme Soviet Marxist!’ and ‘Three cheers for the Supreme Comrade Corbyn. Death to the bourgeoisie!’.

Corbyn then continued his speech with great vitriol: “From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. For the many, not the few. The rich will do anything for the poor but get off their backs. We will abolish all private property. We will nationalise all business. We will stop threatening our friends in Russia and China by disarming ourselves of all nuclear deterrents. Soviet Britain shall be a communist utopia where every one will have equal wealth, equal healthcare, and equal opportunities in living a live of extreme poverty. After I am in power, I will also abolish all elections, as I as the supreme Soviet am good enough for you for the next 50 years.

“Capital is reckless of the health or length of life of the labourer, unless under compulsion from society. You are horrified at our intending to do away with private property. But in your existing society private property is already done away with for nine-tenths of the population; its existence for the few is solely due to its non-existence in the hands of those nine-tenths. You reproach us, therefore, with intending to do away with a form of property, the necessary condition for whose existence is the non-existence of any property for the immense majority of society.

“In one word, you reproach us with intending to do away with your property. Precisely so: that is just what we intend.”

Rapturous applause and hoots of joy erupt from the assembled crowd.

It seems the revolution has only just begun…

 

The Internet Today: My Fake Girlfriend Answered My Fake Social Network Account On a Fake News Site

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Facebook has over 40% of its profiles as bots, either dormant fake accounts or attack bots that embed malicious software onto your computer when you click on anything on a page. That massive advertising budget some company is blowing for those famous ‘targeted’ customers only falls on mostly fake Facebook accounts or bots.

There are literally trillions of bots flying around the internet doing all sorts of nasty shit, from hacking your site, looking for vulnerabilities or stealing your info so some Romanian hacker can get housing benefit for three fake families in Stoke Newington and keep the money for himself.

I bought a fake Rolex from a fake shopping site on the internet a few minutes ago. The contact address says the business is in London, but doing a Whois search shows that it is in fact a Chinese site. They just took my money and I will never get it back. Good thing I was using a fake bank account and I joined a fake get rich MLM site so I’ll be rolling in the fake money soon.

Want a larger penis or a tighter vagina, buy a fake bottle of fake pills that contain nothing but flour and a few additives, possibly conjured up in some dirty remote village in the Xinjiang region of China. At $120 per bottle, someone is raking it in from dumb idiots all over the fake fucking internet.

The fake does not stop there though, it extends to dating sites, where studies have shown some cruel sites entice men with fake women profiles, of course anyone with any sense would be able to see this but thousands of suckers are suckered in to the trap every day and they go ahead with that never-ending expensive subscription.

The internet is now so fake that even so-called trusted sites like Wikipedia are changing whole swathes of history just for a bit of PR for someone’s benefit. Or how about that Snopes site that some people in charge think is so great, it is run by a former prostitute/porn actress and sleazy convicted defrauding scumbag thief, ahh, nothing wrong with that you say, but listen, would you trust anything that comes out of their shitty fake site?

Even the mainstream media has been faking it, they fake their numbers, they fake their viewer figures and some times they fake their news. Piers Morgan, who was the editor of the Daily Mirror before he was sacked for faking on a large scale, knows about that. Lest we forget Johann Hari, who led a very respectable career as a journalistic star before being revealed as a complete and utter fake news faker. American journalism is some of the most fake news there is, what with fake haircut fake tan news touting chaps like Brian Williams, an NBC news anchor who eventually ended up in the sizzler.

How about a fake fakenewschecker. Yep, it exists, and it disseminates fake fake news checking from an anonymous website, with no references and no relevance. They have even included our site, with fake links to other sites yet claiming they are our stories. You can’t get more fake than that. One site even researched fakenewschecker.com finding out it is hosted somewhere in Austria or Germany, possibly a Russian disinfo site, or one of Putin’s many fake news factories created it.

The fakery does not stop in governmental lies, press releases or propaganda, we have fake fear news, yes, you read that right. Project Fear was a fake media propaganda push by the pro-EU UK government during the EU referendum, and its role was to put the fear of living shit out of people who thought about leaving the EU. Sure, it backfired in the end as most people saw through the bollocks, but it is a prime example of fake news, fake fear, fake everything.

The only thing that’s not fake is ironically satire, and of course, the Daily Squib must be included with this statement.

Anyway, I’m off to cuddle up to my fake girlfriend, listen to fake news on my fake stereo from China, and watch a fake film about the fake moon landing whilst she fakes a fake orgasm or four.

Plastic EU Man Macron Instated as French Leader

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“The French surrender easily to their German masters, so it is no surprise that Macron would win against the resistance. What we have in effect, is another Vichy government while France is under occupation,” an election observer revealed.

It is not just the ideological slant of the French to socialism and its brutish father, communism, but the Germans have since World War II been allied in their own special way.

Instead of allying with the British who liberated them in 1944, the French have chosen to side with their eternal oppressors. It must be a sado-masochistic streak that somehow makes up the Gallic constitution.

The French of course turned a blind eye during the war when the little Jewish children were picked off from their schools and sent to concentration camps, never to be seen again. After all, it was the Catholic thing to do, plus after surrendering so easily to the Germans without a shot being fired, a coward keeps their mouth shut.

Paris under occupation
Paris under occupation

Paris, untouched by any bomb or bullet was thus an idyllic WW2 playground for the Bosch and their French underlings. The whore houses were full, bristling with business, the cafes resplendent with German SS officers and the quaint boulevards bristled with the joie de vivre.

The EU has once again crushed the small pocket of French resistance. It is quite ironic, that this time, the French resistance was labelled with fascistic terms, and those who fought bravely against the German fascists of WW2 all those years ago were otherwise.

How the pendulum has swung, however, one thing has always stayed constant with the French, and that is their servitude to their Germanic masters.

Vivre le surrender!

Extraordinary Prince Philip to do Stand Up Comedy in Retirement Years

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Prince Philip, who turns 96 in June, made the decision himself and the Queen supported him, a spokesman said.

“You’re going to be doing stand-up”, one man told him at a royal lunch on Thursday. “Well, I can’t  literally stand up much, so they’ve arranged for my favourite armchair to sit in whilst doing the stand up” the duke quipped.

The duke will attend comedy venues across the country and sit on an armchair before he doles out his infamous funny lashing quips at today’s celebrities, regions he visits and unsuspecting members of the audience.

The Queen “may attend some of the comedy shows just to see if she comes up in the subject matter, if so, there could be some fisticuffs at home”, the palace said.

As the majority of comedians in Britain today are socialist Labour voting leftists with agendas punching upwards towards the haves of society, it may be a breath of fresh air to see the grand old Duke punching down some of these oiks who revel in their champagne socialist hypocrisy so well.

EU Attack Dog SS Colonel Selmayr At Your Service

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Formerly a lawyer of high regard, but now the right hand man of Herr Juncker, he has been useful in disposal operations in the past.

“When it comes to effective disposal, Colonel Selmayr is a leading proponent in discreet handling but vicious punishment. He comes from the rear or the side, and when no one is looking, schlapf! It’s over,” one of Juncker’s aides revealed.

EU Volksgemeinschaft

A true believer in the thousand year EU project, otherwise known as Reich, Selmayr conducts hits on anyone who gets in the way as ordered by his leader Jean Claude Juncker.

Colonel Selmayr has subsequently been credited with some of the European Union’s most hard-line negotiating positions, including its demand that Britain must pay a £80 billion Brexit divorce bill, as well as leaking a damaging account of Mrs May to a German newspaper during recent talks in Downing Street.

“He works underhand, below any known belt line, and from the shadows. People disappear, one minute they are there, the next they swim with the fishes, and no one knows where they are. He is an expert in clandestine operations, disinformation, propaganda and trickery of the highest order,” a scared Brussels worker revealed to the BBC, but has not been seen since speaking up.

ss-colonel-selmayr

Johnny Depp Fed Lines Through Earpiece For Everyday Conversations

When he’s not featuring in another Tim Burton blockbuster, the Hollywood actor, Johnny Depp likes nothing more than to sit in the corner of a room in complete silence.

“It’s very hard to get him to say anything, like a single word, but when he does, he dials up his sound engineer who tells him what to say. For example someone may ask Depp if he wants sugar in his tea, he then presses a button to his engineer who is on 24 hour standby and hears everything that is going on. His engineer will then tell Johnny to say ‘yes, please’ through the ear piece, then the actor will repeat the words in a manner of his choice,” Depp’s manager revealed yesterday.

Depp’s sound engineer is paid hundreds of thousands of dollars per annum, to not only tell Depp what to say on film sets but off them as well.

The Pirates of the Caribbean star rarely says anything of his own accord and is so controlled by others that last year during an interview, his earpiece malfunctioned, and he did not know who he was or why he was there until the connection was re-established four minutes later.

He then suddenly starting reciting large quotes from Byron and Baudelaire to massive applause from the TV audience.

 

Tim Farron Takes One Up the Poop Chute For the Lib Dems

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Hounded for weeks by homo rights protesters for not admitting on television that he did not approve of gay sex, the Lib Dem decided to prove first hand so he can be seen as a contender for the coming election.

Mr Farron’s  assistant Rosie Boyd arranged for the Lib Dem leader to visit a gay sauna where in full view of gay rights activists and gay news media, he forced himself to bend over and be serviced by a troupe of homosexual Lib Dem voters.

Sewer chewer

“I wanted to prove to homosexual voters that the Lib Dems are with them all the way. I just got buggered up the poop chute by a large man from Hampstead Heath. Afterwards, the gentleman revealed he had full blown AIDS and hoped I would not mind. He said he would vote Lib Dem in the election, so I forgave him,” Farron told ITN news.

The unnatural act of coitus through the male anal passage is frowned upon by many, however is seen as normal behaviour by gay men.

“Although deemed as an unnatural perversion by many globally, gay sex utilising the anus between two men is seen as normal by gays plus it’s a great way to spread diseases to keep the world population down,” one proud gay activist who also has HIV and Hepatitis revealed.

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