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The Internet Today: My Fake Girlfriend Answered My Fake Social Network Account On a Fake News Site

CHICAGO - USA - Like everything's fake on the internet, even Obama has over 60% of his Twitter followers as fake, and the same with other politicians and celebrities.


Facebook has over 40% of its profiles as bots, either dormant fake accounts or attack bots that embed malicious software onto your computer when you click on anything on a page. That massive advertising budget some company is blowing for those famous ‘targeted’ customers only falls on mostly fake Facebook accounts or bots.

There are literally trillions of bots flying around the internet doing all sorts of nasty shit, from hacking your site, looking for vulnerabilities or stealing your info so some Romanian hacker can get housing benefit for three fake families in Stoke Newington and keep the money for himself.

I bought a fake Rolex from a fake shopping site on the internet a few minutes ago. The contact address says the business is in London, but doing a Whois search shows that it is in fact a Chinese site. They just took my money and I will never get it back. Good thing I was using a fake bank account and I joined a fake get rich MLM site so I’ll be rolling in the fake money soon.

Want a larger penis or a tighter vagina, buy a fake bottle of fake pills that contain nothing but flour and a few additives, possibly conjured up in some dirty remote village in the Xinjiang region of China. At $120 per bottle, someone is raking it in from dumb idiots all over the fake fucking internet.

The fake does not stop there though, it extends to dating sites, where studies have shown some cruel sites entice men with fake women profiles, of course anyone with any sense would be able to see this but thousands of suckers are suckered in to the trap every day and they go ahead with that never-ending expensive subscription.

The internet is now so fake that even so-called trusted sites like Wikipedia are changing whole swathes of history just for a bit of PR for someone’s benefit. Or how about that Snopes site that some people in charge think is so great, it is run by a former prostitute/porn actress and sleazy convicted defrauding scumbag thief, ahh, nothing wrong with that you say, but listen, would you trust anything that comes out of their shitty fake site?

Even the mainstream media has been faking it, they fake their numbers, they fake their viewer figures and some times they fake their news. Piers Morgan, who was the editor of the Daily Mirror before he was sacked for faking on a large scale, knows about that. Lest we forget Johann Hari, who led a very respectable career as a journalistic star before being revealed as a complete and utter fake news faker. American journalism is some of the most fake news there is, what with fake haircut fake tan news touting chaps like Brian Williams, an NBC news anchor who eventually ended up in the sizzler.

How about a fake fakenewschecker. Yep, it exists, and it disseminates fake fake news checking from an anonymous website, with no references and no relevance. They have even included our site, with fake links to other sites yet claiming they are our stories. You can’t get more fake than that. One site even researched fakenewschecker.com finding out it is hosted somewhere in Austria or Germany, possibly a Russian disinfo site, or one of Putin’s many fake news factories created it.

The fakery does not stop in governmental lies, press releases or propaganda, we have fake fear news, yes, you read that right. Project Fear was a fake media propaganda push by the pro-EU UK government during the EU referendum, and its role was to put the fear of living shit out of people who thought about leaving the EU. Sure, it backfired in the end as most people saw through the bollocks, but it is a prime example of fake news, fake fear, fake everything.

The only thing that’s not fake is ironically satire, and of course, the Daily Squib must be included with this statement.

Anyway, I’m off to cuddle up to my fake girlfriend, listen to fake news on my fake stereo from China, and watch a fake film about the fake moon landing whilst she fakes a fake orgasm or four.

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