17.7 C
London
Friday, June 21, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldEU Attack Dog SS Colonel Selmayr At Your Service

EU Attack Dog SS Colonel Selmayr At Your Service

BERLIN - Germany - SS-Verfügungstruppe, Colonel Martin Selmayr, a decorated officer of the EU army has been put in charge of punishing Britain during the Brexit process.

 

Formerly a lawyer of high regard, but now the right hand man of Herr Juncker, he has been useful in disposal operations in the past.

“When it comes to effective disposal, Colonel Selmayr is a leading proponent in discreet handling but vicious punishment. He comes from the rear or the side, and when no one is looking, schlapf! It’s over,” one of Juncker’s aides revealed.

EU Volksgemeinschaft

A true believer in the thousand year EU project, otherwise known as Reich, Selmayr conducts hits on anyone who gets in the way as ordered by his leader Jean Claude Juncker.

Colonel Selmayr has subsequently been credited with some of the European Union’s most hard-line negotiating positions, including its demand that Britain must pay a £80 billion Brexit divorce bill, as well as leaking a damaging account of Mrs May to a German newspaper during recent talks in Downing Street.

“He works underhand, below any known belt line, and from the shadows. People disappear, one minute they are there, the next they swim with the fishes, and no one knows where they are. He is an expert in clandestine operations, disinformation, propaganda and trickery of the highest order,” a scared Brussels worker revealed to the BBC, but has not been seen since speaking up.

ss-colonel-selmayr

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »