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European Union Commission President Addresses EU Army Troops

NUREMBERG - Germany - On the eve of being crowned the next unelected President of the European Union, Kommandant von der Leyen addressed massed EU Army brigades and EU Soviet workers party officials.

Verhofstadt Cowers Under Table After Auntie Widdecombe Bollocking

BRUSSELS - Belgium - Auntie Ann Widdecombe, one of the MEPs for the Brexit Party debuted a thunderous speech at the EU parliament.

Analysts: EU Army Poses Great Danger to USA

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - The EU Army poses a great threat to the United States and to world peace. Analysts break down some major risks posed.

EU Army: Kommandant Ursula von der Leyen at Your Service

HAMBURG - Germany - Ursula von der Leyen, HAMBURG - Germany - Ursula von der Leyen, the upcoming new EU President, has spoken about her plans to increase the EU army's military capabilities and ranks, as well as her plan to thwart Brexit.

Change UK Anna Soubry Celebrates Election Triumph of Winning No Seats

LONDON - England - Spokesman for the anti-democracy Change UK party, Anna Soubry today joyously proclaimed victory in the European elections by not winning one single seat.

Auntie Ann Widdecombe Coming to Brussels to Breathe Down Juncker’s Neck

BATH - England - Auntie Ann Widdecombe is coming to Brussels to breathe down Juncker's scrawny neck after being voted in as an MEP for the Brexit party.

EU Experts: Empires Cannot Survive Without Constant Expansion

BRUSSELS - Belgium - The EU empire has to constantly expand its territory through economic and military conquest or much like any empire throughout history, wither and die.

Brexit Widdecombe Bomb to Destroy Opposition in European Elections

LONDON - England - The upcoming European elections and the Brexit Party has just gone nuclear, cue veteran former Tory MP, Ann Widdecombe.

New Vote For Comrade Theresa May Ten Year EU Soviet Plan

SEKTOR 101 - EU - Comrade Theresa May has spoken to the people from her dacha in Chequers today.

Happy St George’s Day

SECTOR 101 - EU - Today was St George's day and EU citizens were told to celebrate even though they did not know why.

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