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The Rats of Parliament

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Who would have thought, parliament is full of rats? Whilst Conservative leader Kemi Badenoch was giving another one of her righteous speeches, a rat scurried by behind her. This time, it wasn’t a politician unfortunately but a real fucking rat. The Palace of Westminster is completely inundated with rodents inside its crumbling facade.

The problem is so huge, every year a large sum of taxpayer’s money is spent trying to control the rats infesting the place, and we’re not just talking about the Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority here either, inspecting ministerial expenses.

UK Parliament pest control costs (financial years ending March, total for estate):

2015: £110,359
2016: £103,158
2017: £132,619
2018: £119,424
2019: £111,498
2020: £149,339
2021: £109,563
2022: £122,363
2023: £126,162
2024: £136,231

Total (2015-2024): £1,220,715

Forecast 2025 (linear trend): £133,767

Source: Official Parliament docs & reports.

ALERT : Commissar Wes Streeting is a Threat to Comrade Starmer

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Comrades, there is a profound danger to Comrade Starmer leering its ugly head from within the treacherous party ranks. Do not fear, we are dealing with this at the utmost haste. Stasi agents have been set loose to find and apprehend, and liquidate Commissar Wes Streeting, an avowed student of his mentor, Commissar Mandy, who both pose a fundamental threat to Comrade Starmer’s iron rule over the Big State apparatus.

If any proles, or party members see Commissar Streeting anywhere, they are urged immediately to report the siting to their local Stasi office or agent on fear of liquidation.

Any citizen of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain found giving aid or shelter to Commissar Streeting will be arrested and liquidated without prejudice.

REMEMBER – LOOK, LISTEN AND REPORT!

More Good News – People’s Bank of Soviet England Downgrades Growth Forecasts

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The People’s Bank of Soviet England has once again downgraded its growth forecasts for the next two years and warned the soviet economy was now in danger of another significant jump in unemployment.

In its first analysis of the economy since the Budget, Commissar Rachel Reeves’s decision to increase employer national insurance contributions and the inflation-busting increases in the minimum wage, plus introducing massive tax increases all compounded by shocking levels of incompetence, sleaze and corruption from the feckless losers in the Labour Big State has caused a nightmare situation otherwise known as a “clusterfuck”.

Commissar Bailey said this “good news” suggested policymakers would cut rates further in the coming months to try to stave off a massive Great Depression-like economic downturn.

Due to the lunatic decisions of Commissar Reeves, unemployment is set to increase at exponential levels.

Employment growth has been “zero” over the past year “due to cost pressures from higher employer national insurance contributions and the national living wage.”

As a result, the Bank cut its growth forecasts for this year to just 0.9pc, down from a prediction of 1.2pc last November, adding that fearful citizens were choosing to save rather than spend.

Saving is a crime in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain, and anyone found saving money will first have all their ill-gotten capitalist gains confiscated and the perpetrators of the crime liquidated.

PEOPLE’S BULLETIN 04494-34

JENNIFER POTFALLOW, 14, OF MANDELSON ROAD, PORTSMOUTH, HAS BEEN AWARDED THREE FAKE LEATHER SHOE SOLES, ONE ROTTEN TURNIP, ONE BOX OF QUADRUPLE-USED TOILET PAPER, AND AN INCREASE IN CHOCO RATIONS OF 0.000013 GRAMS FOR TWO DAYS. SHE REPORTED HER MOTHER, FATHER, GRANDFATHER, GRANDMOTHER, UNCLES, AUNTS AND HER ENTIRE CLASS FOR TRAVELLING TO THE SEASIDE WITHOUT A PROPER PASS OR THE NECESSARY AUTHORISATION PAPERS. THEY WERE TAKEN IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THURSDAY MORNING AND LIQUIDATED AND PRECESSED INTO NET ZERO JUICE. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN AND REPORT!

Peter Mandelson Could be Next Labour PM

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Amongst the sleaze, corruption, lies, deceit. gaslighting, and darn right incompetence, who better than the Prince of Darkness, Peter Mandelson to be the next Labour leader.

Many Labourites and leftists are now calling for Mandelson to take over the reins from the ailing Keir Starmer.

“Corruption is now normal in Britain. Thanks to my actions, and the actions of the Labour Party under Starmer. Labour is now the party of sleaze, along with the pariah Tory Party. I will take over the Labour Party and continue to lead the country to ruin. I am the Prince of Darkness (a crack of thunder is heard)…muah hah hah haaaah!”

A recent poll put Mandelson 34 points ahead of Starmer, and ahead of Miliband and Rayner.

Americans in Despair As Somalian “Child Learning Centers” Shut Down

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“What’re we gonna do, man? This is heinous! This is awful! I don’t think we can survive this!” a Minnesota resident, clearly in despair at the closures of the Somalian Learning Centers, cried out when he heard the news. This is terrible news for the local communities, where no children have ever been seen at these institutions.

Childcare Centers, Autism Centers, Healthcare Centers all owned by Somalis receive billions of dollars in Federal funding over decades, and the money simply disappeared, possibly funnelled to Somalia or who knows where.

 

 

How to Choose the Right Martial Arts Dojo For Beginners and Intermediates

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Choosing the right martial arts dojo is one of the most important decisions a beginner or intermediate student will make. The environment you train in will shape not only your technical progress, but also your motivation, safety, and long-term enjoyment of the art. Enfield Karate Club is a dojo that excels in its teaching quality and instruction.

Beginners

pexels-cottonbro-7991203For beginners, the priority should be clarity and structure. A good dojo has a clear curriculum, patient instructors, and a strong emphasis on fundamentals.

You should understand what you are learning and why, rather than being rushed through techniques without proper explanation.

Classes should be scaled, so newcomers are not overwhelmed, and safety must be taken seriously.

Instructors should correct form, manage intensity, and discourage reckless behaviour.

Intermediate

For intermediate students, instruction quality becomes more important than atmosphere alone. At this stage, progress depends on detail, feedback, and pressure testing.

A reputable dojo will offer progressive training that goes beyond repetition, with opportunities to refine technique, spar in a controlled way, or compete if that aligns with the style.

Instructors should welcome questions and be able to adapt techniques to different body types and skill levels.

pexels-thao-lee-3398131-5081178

Beware of belt farming

One of the most common pitfalls when choosing a dojo is what many practitioners refer to as belt farming. This is where belts or ranks are awarded regularly despite minimal improvement in skill or understanding, often accompanied by frequent grading fees.

The emphasis shifts from technical competence to keeping students paying and feeling rewarded, rather than genuinely developing ability.

In these environments, students may progress through grades quickly but lack fundamentals, timing, or practical application. Training can become repetitive and uninspiring, with little correction or challenge. Over time, this creates a false sense of competence and can stall real development.

A legitimate dojo treats grading as a reflection of readiness, not as a business model. Advancement should feel earned, occasionally uncomfortable, and tied to clear standards.

Other factors to consider

Across all levels, the culture of the dojo matters.

Healthy schools foster respect, discipline, and steady improvement rather than intimidation or blind loyalty.

Be cautious of instructors who discourage cross-training, dismiss other styles without explanation, or react defensively to honest questions. Martial arts thrive on humility and continuous learning.

Practical factors also play a role. Location, scheduling, and cost should be realistic and transparent.

Many good dojos offer trial classes or short introductory periods. Use these to observe how students train, how instructors teach, and how feedback is given. You should leave sessions challenged but motivated, not confused or placated.

Ultimately, the right dojo is not the one that promotes the fastest rank progression or the most impressive belts on the wall. It is the one that aligns with your goals, maintains high standards, and encourages long-term growth.

A good dojo pushes you honestly, develops real skill, and respects the journey rather than selling shortcuts. Explore and Enjoy!

Comrades, I made Commissar Mandy an Ambassador to America Despite Knowing Bad Things

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Today, comrades, I want to talk about the disgraced Commissar Mandy who I made an ambassador of America despite knowing he consorted with a paedophile financier and asset for the FSB.

I stand by my judgement to appoint Commissar Mandy.

Because I am the Supreme Comrade, I can do things like that and get away with it. Anyone within the Big State or High Party, or underling commissars who say anything about my corrupt judgement, will be arrested and liquidated.

I have also put a squad of Stasi officers to watch the Daily Squib newspaper, who knew at the time of the appointment to that Yankee shithole Washington, D.C. that something was very wrong. The editor and his writers will be processed into Net Zero Juice.

PEOPLE’S BULLETIN 88768

ANGELA ROSE, 32, OF CORBYN AVENUE, SOLIHULL, HAS BEEN ARRESTED AND LIQUIDATED. SHE WAS CONVICTED AFTER ATTEMPTING TO TRAVEL THIRTEEN MILES OUTSIDE HER ALLOTTED HABITAT ZONE WITHOUT THE NECESSARY TRAVEL DOCUMENTS OR TRAVEL PASS. WE MUST WARN ALL CITIZENS OF SOVIET BRITAIN THAT ANY FORM OF TRAVEL MUST BE TRACKED AND THE NECESSARY PAPERS MUST BE IN ORDER. CONTACT YOUR LOCAL STASI OFFICE TO RECEIVE A TRAVEL PASS IF GRANTED. MANY TRAVEL PASSES ARE REFUSED DEPENDING ON THE SOCIAL CREDIT SCORE OF CITIZENS. PARTY MEMBERS MUST ALSO ADHERE TO THESE RULES — HIGH PARTY MEMBERS CAN TRAVEL ANYWHERE. REMEMBER, LOOK, LISTEN AND REPORT.

 

The Burden of Mass Immigration as a Shackle to Ruin Economies of Nations

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War and conquest comes in many forms, and one of the most effective methods of bringing nations down is through mass immigration. This technique is guaranteed to inflict serious damage to any nation, and the states with socialist weak leaders are the most affected. Why are socialist democratic states most responsive to this treatment? Simply because the states must take in the deluge of mass immigration because of their socialist ideology, to virtue signal their benevolence and “caring” attitude, as well as their allegiance to socialist international law.

Small measures of multiculturalism are beneficial ONLY if conducted under controlled measures.

The economy is key in any state, and the vast burden of dealing with the deluge of mass immigration at pace is a weapon used to infiltrate, burden and disarm states and their economy. The social welfare budgets of socialist states in Europe especially have been targeted for this solution, and a war is being waged by pushing forward mass immigration of millions of people from Third World Developing nations into Europe and the United Kingdom. This war has been waging for over three decades.

global_human overpopulation 1Weakening an enemy’s economy via mass immigration not only destabilises a nation from within but from without, and in preparation for war, a nation without a strong economy is thus systematically disarmed before the fighting actually begins. One only has to look at Europe and the sad state of affairs with the United Kingdom where valuable economic resources for the military have been diverted to its immense welfare state which is an alarming burden caused mainly by mass unfettered immigration and an open borders policy. Likewise, Spain is another example of the lunacy of open borders.

In a state of war, Europe and the United Kingdom seem to care more for the masses of illegal immigrants and their rights than defending their own nation. The planting of the Woke agenda was another master stroke by the enemy, which has infiltrated all institutions in an effort to indoctrinate the populace with a form of ideological subversion that further destabilises, demoralises and divides nations from within.

Europe and the United Kingdom, after decades of attack, are now effectively disarmed nations, weakened not only economically but psychologically as well, subverted, anaemic, bifurcated, and very vulnerable to threats. War and defence costs money, without it, there is little or no hope of survival.

CONFESSION – Lord Mandy: “How I was played like a fiddle by a Russian spy”

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Corrupt former comrade and deputy to former Supreme Right Wing Comrade Tony BLiar and Gordo has made a confession about passing Big State secrets to an FSB agent called Epstein, as well as conducting other disgusting acts that contravened the rules of The Party. After his public confession he was liquidated and processed into Net Zero Juice — that cool, refreshing drink.

“I, former comrade, Lord Mandy, otherwise known as the Prince of Darkness masqueraded as a High Party member of the Labour Party for decades whilst all the while handing over Big State secrets to a Russian spy, who I simply adored, and was in love with. He played me like a fiddle for important government information that he used for his benefit and to pass on to his Russian FSB handlers, and other enemy intelligence organisations.”

“I confess to spreading the rumours on orders from Epstein that mass immigration into the UK would benefit the nation.”

“And that for years, since the days of the glorious New Labour BLiar/Gordo revolution that precipitated an influx tantamount to a land, sea and air invasion, I encouraged the Party to implement mass immigration that would ruin the country and benefit our enemies on the orders of Jeffrey Epstein.

“I have no faith in our future.”

“I forged government documents, announcements, and falsified immigration figures.”

“As a result of my mental disturbance starting from my experiences during the Tony BLiar/Gordo election wars, I was a willing subject of Epstein’s influence.”

“I went into the proletarian zones, I had sex with male prostitutes.”

“I deliberately contracted syphilis.”

“It was at this time that I made contact with the resistance.”

“I was personally contacted by the arch traitor Epstein, and ordered to pass forward key Party information and secrets that benefitted the Russian FSB, China and Epstein.”

“My agents forged documents and gained entry to the Ministry of Truth.”

“I have committed, even before setting pen to paper the essential crime that contained the others in itself. Encouraging my agents to deface party posters and boarding announcements.”

“I read and memorised Epstein’s orders for 30 years, I have plotted to bring down the party.”

“I was sick in mind and body.”

“I secured travel passes to Epstein Island. My agents travelled freely throughout Epstein Island encouraging insurrection, organising offensives and transmitting further Big State Labour Party secrets to our enemies.”

“Comrades, here’s a small list of current business closures due to my policies”

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It is a supreme pleasure for my policies of anti-growth and anti-business that I proudly announce this week’s closures. Some of these businesses were established decades ago, but in just 18 months of my rule — they’re fucked. Business closures UP, unemployment UP, inflation UP, national debt UP.

Along with the thousands of pubs, farms and companies going into administration thanks to those lovely Labour business rates and Labour taxes, I predict the next 18 months to be even more destructive. According to Companies House, more than 200,000 businesses have closed since I was put in charge of the British economy. That’s more than 770 a DAY. Thank you for voting Labour, now get back to work so you can pay the huge salaries of the bloated Big State apparatchiks and their gold-plated pension schemes.

BUSINESS CLOSURES

After operating for over ten years, a Kent-based brewing and bottling company with a “state-of-the-art” production facility has gone into administration. SOUTH EAST BOTTLING LIMITED (SEB), which operates from Broadstairs, was formally placed into administration on January 28, according to a notice published in The London Gazette on February.

GAME is closing all standalone stores across the UK as the high street giant plunges into administration due to a challenging business environment and heavy taxation.

POUNDLAND has confirmed that it will be closing seven stores this month, with closing-down sales launched at the branches. The additional closures follow the mass closures the retailer has carried out since June 2025.

A popular retailer in Northern Ireland that has been serving customers for more than half a century has announced it will close. WYSE BYSE, a small group of household goods stores in Ballymena, County Antrim, hit the high street in 1972.

NATWEST is one of the companies that is set to close even more branches over the next two years. 32 more closures were announced last week on top of the seven already confirmed.

The major car dealer, GROUP 1 AUTOMOTIVE, is set to shut down more branches across the UK, with jobs on the line in the latest dealership closure and a major blow to the motoring industry. American firm Group 1 Automotive is set to undertake a massive restructuring programme in a bid to cut costs in the UK.

BARRY M, one of Britain’s most recognisable cosmetics brands, is urgently seeking a buyer after taking formal steps toward administration, putting more than 40 years of family ownership at risk and highlighting the growing strain across the beauty industry.

High street chains CLAIRE’S and THE ORIGINAL FACTORY SHOP (TOFS) were put into administration after their owner said “last-ditch” measures had fallen through. About 2,500 UK staff were put at risk of redundancy. It will mean 1,355 employees in the UK and Ireland at 154 Claire’s shops will be put at risk, and 1,220 staff across 140 TOFS’ stores.

Nine brands were given administrators in January, which presented new difficulties for high streets around the country. Family-run businesses and UK-wide chains were forced to the brink by rising energy prices, rising wages, and the government’s National Insurance hike.

Thousands of stores, pubs, and restaurants went into administration last month, endangering hundreds of jobs.

Revolution bars owner THE REVEL COLLECTIVE closed 21 venues with the loss of 591 jobs after appointing administrators, who announced a sale to secure other parts of the business.

US beauty brand MALIN+GOETZ put its UK operations into administration, closing all its London stores and making shop staff redundant. Its UK online operation was set to return under guidance from the US. The administration affected seven branches, including Seven Dials, Soho, Spitalfields, Islington, Canary Wharf, Battersea Power Station and Borough Yards.

CW SELLORS, the family-run jewellery chain had been on high streets since 1979, but it collapsed into administration, resulting in 36 redundancies.

BUST – Founded in 1879, RUSSELL & BROMLEY ran 36 stores and nine concessions across the UK and Ireland, employing around 440 people.

Administrators confirmed a load of TGI FRIDAYS restaurants would shut after the dining chain fell into administration. The company permanently shut 16 venues across the UK, in a move which hit 456 workers.

The British outdoor chain ALPKIT collapsed into administration towards the end of last month.

Fashion giant RIVER ISLAND is closing the doors to 11 shops (Saturday, January 31) in a blow to high streets across England and Scotland. The River Island shops will bring their shutters down for the final time.

Fashion chain QUIZ has confirmed it is entering administration, putting 44 shops across the UK and approximately 1,000 jobs at risk. According to The Telegraph, the retailer has filed a notice of intention to appoint administrators.

88 charity shops to shut in 2026 – CANCER RESEARCH, SCOPE and OASIS closures. The iconic British charity shop Cancer Research announced it will be closing 88 stores by May 2026, with further closures expected in 2027. The charity explained this is due to long‑term financial pressures, including escalating running costs.

Swansea University is consulting on shedding 55 academic posts across a wide range of subjects as it grapples with its budget. The UCU union has warned in response that it will not rule out balloting members on industrial action.

The TRAVELODGE boss has derided Labour’s attack on hospitality as hotel costs soared to £50m.

WILLIAM HILL puts 200 UK stores at risk as closures confirmed – High street betting giant William Hill has confirmed it will close stores and has blamed the recent Budget and its changes to gambling taxes.

TRESPASS – The well-known sports and outdoor clothing brand announced it will be closing more branches in 2026 following a string of closures last year.

EDINBURGH WOOLLEN MILL, which has more than 100 UK stores, announced it would be closing its store in Dereham, Norfolk.

DOBBIES closed 8 garden centres across UK in one year. Dobbies Garden Centres closed eight of its garden centres between January and March

Outdoor clothing shop MILLETS will disappear from the Southsea, Portsmouth high street within weeks.

Stay tuned for more Rachel Reeves business “growth” next week…

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