17.7 C
London
Monday, April 13, 2026
secret satire society
HomeWorldPraise Be to Jesus Trump

Praise Be to Jesus Trump

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Praise be to Jesus Trump, the anointed one, the saviour of America and the world, a divine healer who is here now to fix things for good, once and for all.

ai —Ensure our latest news headlines always appear at the top of your Google Search by making us a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as a Preferred Source in your Google search settings—

Trump just posted an AI picture envisioning himself as Jesus on social media. The fundamental Christians must be all having a collective religious orgasm as they whack over that image.

Trump is the chosen one, as he fuses his exalted self upon the state, the nation of America, as a Holy Christian Kingdom on Earth to lead his people through the trials and tribulations set upon the good and the just believers.

This image will now serve to legitimise his authority, discourage questioning and frame obedience to Trump as a moral imperative. The Donald is seeking to absolutely stabilise his key power base and structures and to limit dissent in any way arising from his actions. He is effectively telling you to hush the fuck up; he is now divinely blessed as a tool and messenger of God.

Our dear Trump is now sacred; he is a superhuman, untouched by accountability or the regulations that ordinary humans have to deal with.

When the bombs and missiles resume flying, Trump will float through the Oval Office and cure the lines of lepers, blind people and TikTok users from their terminal affliction with a mere flick of the wrist. He will turn water into Gatorade, and feed 5000 men with 5 burger buns and two fish tacos.

God bless Trump and God bless America! He is doing the Lord’s work; stand back and allow him to do his work in peace to save the earth from evil.

As he sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?” And Jesus answered them, “See that no one leads you astray. For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray. And you will hear of wars and rumours of wars. See that you dare not be alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.

 

“Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and put you to death, and you will be hated by all nations for my name’s sake. And then many will fall away and betray one another and hate one another. And many false prophets will arise and lead many astray. And because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold. But the one who endures to the end will be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.  
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  •  
    ai

    1 COMMENT

    LEAVE A REPLY

    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here

    - Advertisment - proton vpn

    NEWS ON THE HOUR

    ai

    MORE NEWS

    THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

    The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

    KAjwhriuw024hvjbed2SORH