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ROME - Italy - New parchments discovered by theologians prove that Jesus also changed water into whisky.
COLORADO - USA - New findings from religious scholars reveal evidence that Jesus and his disciples smoked cannabis and used cannabis derived oils for miracle cures.
OXFORD - England - In response to an advertisement depicting a Greggs sausage roll instead of Jesus in a Manger, many Christians have declared Jihad on the bakery.
FLORIDA - USA - Jesus Christ has been photographed by the Mars rover for the first time, and all over the world, Christians have been celebrating.
JERUSALEM - Israel - A newly discovered piece of papyrus has brought new light into the life of Jesus, a professor and expert in Christianity at Harvard Divinity School has revealed.
MISSISSIPPI - USA - Theological experts have finally revealed that Jesus Christ came back to earth five years ago but left soon after. Only a few people noticed his return and his departure.
TURIN - Italy - Scientists sponsored by the Roman Catholic Church have revealed new fascinating facts that Jesus looked exactly like a medieval artist's depiction of a European man during the Middle Ages.
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