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LA FIRES: BLM Reparations Looters Told to Stand Down – For Now

“Y’all need to stand down from looting all those rich whitey mansions that been abandoned and sheeit! Sho nuff, bitch this sheeit deserved to us, we be finna get what owed ‘n’ sheeit! Besides, dese da muffuggers who donated millions to BLM dey can afford it!”

Imagine the sheer temptation, massive mansions all empty and full of riches that BLM looters would only dream about owning or selling off for money. There are literally over 200,000 empty properties, malls, shops all abandoned in the Los Angeles fire evacuation zone.

“Ima show sum self restraints n shiet!” one responsible BLM member said whilst being held back by two of his burly friends.

Los Angeles already has very lax laws regarding shoplifting, but it is not clear what the laws are regarding emptying abandoned mansions of their luxury items? Probably not a good idea if the BLM looters are thinking of making some moves. LA is not Chicago, which is truly a lawless armpit of a place…or is it?

“BLM reparations looters need to show some restraint. Remember that this is a disaster area where thousands of homes have been abandoned and are sitting there with no security or anything. If we see any of you BLM people looting around there, though, we gonna give you a misdemeanour citation and $5 fine without hesitation. It’s your call!” a police spokesman far away from the disaster zone announced on Friday.

LOS ANGELES FIRE: Clinic Offers Emergency Botox and Breast Enlargement

Amongst the smouldering ashes of multi-million dollar mansions, the fire has ravaged some of the most exclusive areas of Los Angeles. There are true heroes here, though, people who are risking their lives to help the victims of this terrible fire. People like Moshe Liebowitz, a renowned plastic surgeon, whose clinic is offering the people of Pacific Palisades, Malibu and Altadena free botox fillers, breast enlargements and ass enlargements in their time of need. Quote code: FILLITUP-NOW

“This is a fucking tragedy. Look at my deflated bottom lip?” Lydia Mancuso, 43, who lost four of her mansions, told an ABC NEWS crew.

Jim Tremende, 56, was also up in arms as his puffed out face looked even more puffed out than usual. “I need more botox asap. Like, yesterday! Stat! Thanks to heroes like Dr. Liebowitz who is coming to my 5-star hotel suite in Beverly Hills which I booked after my goddamn Palisades mansion burned down, I will have an even bigger, fucking better bloated motherfuckin’ botox face.”

In Malibu, one resident’s breast implants exploded from the heat.

“I was enjoying a lil champagne and caviar looking out to the sea from my wonderful luxury mansion thinking about those adorable smelt fishies swimming around in rivers, what a beautiful thought. Anyway, suddenly I felt a little heat and my left fuckin’ tit exploded. The rock hard nipple cracked the fuckin’ glass of the window. Thank god for people like Dr. Liebowitz, I phoned him as the whole house burned down, and he booked an appointment for me immediately.”

Our thoughts are with the whole community in these trying times.

 

 

Rachel Reeves: “I’m having a wonderful time in China!”

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The Chancellor Rachel Reeves has revealed she is having a wonderful time in China.

“Thanks to the wonderful hospitality of the Chinese Communist Party, I have been having an absolutely fabulous time in China. I was flown over in a private jet, where I enjoyed a marvellous lobster and champagne lunch. On arrival, a very big limousine picked me up from the runway, and a little Chinaman picked up all my luggage, all 43 pieces.

“I was then driven to a five-star hotel in Beijing which is only used by high ranking CCP members. It’s so great to see equality in communism being exercised. The driver pressed some new fangly hidden button or something or rather, and a chilled champagne bottle rose up from a compartment, along with a champagne glass.

“Arriving at the 5-star Exclusive CCP hotel, I was greeted by all these little hotel staff people running around me, some took my luggage, others wiped my brow, and the hotel manager herself showed me the suite booked for me on the top floor.

“I’ve got an infinity pool in my room. I’ve got a foot massage booked at 2pm, and a full body massage with aromatic oils performed by the hotel’s best masseuse, Madam Kinky booked for 3pm. I actually prefer the gentle touch of women, and it will sate my feminist ideals. Not only that, but I look forward to it with hot anticipation, hmm, I wonder why my knickers are getting so wet?

“I check my emails from the UK. I immediately shut it all off, I’m on holiday, I must not think of the awful UK, a despicable place I detest with a vengeance. Oh, it feels like such a far distant memory. I take another sip of champers and continue to enjoy my Chinese holiday in the infinity pool. This is bliss. I’m loving it.”

Why’s Trump Renaming the “Gulf of Mexico” as the “Gulf of America”?

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Because the vindictive vegetable Joe Biden on the way out of his disastrous non-presidency (Obama’s third term) was told to ban oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, Donald Trump is going to make a few changes himself. The Biden drilling ban means he is taking the action under the Outer Continental Shelf Lands Act of 1953, which allows US presidents to withdraw areas from mineral leasing and drilling. The law does not grant presidents the legal authority to overturn prior bans, according to a 2019 court ruling. It means a reversal would likely require an act of Congress.

If the Gulf of Mexico name is changed to the Gulf of America, then the drilling ban does not mean shit.

The gloves are off for Trump this time around, and the do-gooder virtue signalling socialist Americans can’t do anything when you’re drilling for oil in the Gulf of America, because it is not the Gulf of Mexico any more.

America needs the money, and to fix the country from years of socialism. This is one way to bank some serious cash for that exact job.

CANCEL CULTURE: Coward Labour MPs Silence Child Abuse Victims

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With a large majority in parliament for Labour, there’s now no point in putting forward motions for debate because they get voted down immediately. This time, Labour MPs banded together to cowardly vote down a vote for an enquiry into child abuse perpetrated on thousands of English girls, effectively silencing the victims’ voices. Cancel culture is still very much alive, especially in Westminster.

No shame

Cowardly Labour MPs blocked an attempt to initiate a national enquiry into grooming gangs. This makes Labour MPs themselves complicit in the very cover-up of the child abuse by grooming gangs that is ongoing.

The amendment put forward by Conservative MPs which would have piled pressure on the Government to hold a statutory enquiry into historic child sexual exploitation was voted down by 364 to 111.

Thanks to the Labour MPs, the plight of the child abuse victims will be silenced. Well done Keir Starmer and Labour. Congratulate yourselves on another victory for cancel culture and evil.

It’s Okay ‘Diversity Equity and Inclusion’ Still Intact During California Fires

Trans and LGBTQP rights, along with BLM and MeToo rights, are still intact after fires have burned down entire neighbourhoods of multi-million dollar properties in California. Diversity, equity and inclusion schemes will still continue despite not much being left standing in the entire area.

Trans activist Lilly Van Pumpidoux was set to have a transgender whip show at a primary school in Pacific Palisades today, but sadly it burned down.

“I rescued my set of 12″ dildos, my whips and had to flee in my high heels. I think I broke three nails, dammit! This is a fucking tragedy!”

Brave Pumpidoux defiantly vowed to continue teaching 6-year-old kids about the virtues of transitioning, regardless of the mild setback. She set up an impromptu camera show amongst the smouldering burned out wreckage of the school via a livestream on TikTok, despite having four of her strap-ons melted.

With no pressure in the fire hydrants due to mismanagement from Governor Newsom, who refused to sign a water restoration declaration put before him by president Trump during his tenure that would have allowed millions of gallons of water, from excess rain and snow melt from the North, to flow daily into many parts of California and Los Angeles, the fires continued to rage unabated with no end in sight.

Meanwhile, the DEI quota hire fire chief was more concerned with increasing DEI recruitment numbers than putting out fires, as the entire area now looks like Sodom and Gomorrah finally had its way. As for the DEI hire LA Mayor, she was out of town visiting Ghana only to get back too late to even bother to answer questions. Forget about little things like merit and capability, DEI is more important.

It’s just another day in California, folks, nothing to see here.

Comrades, We Are Being Threatened by a Capitalist Swine Called Elon Musk

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The People’s Soviet Republic of Britain and Supreme Comrade Starmer are staying vigilant after being attacked with threats from the capitalist swine Elon Musk from the USA.

Today, Comrade Starmer responded to the threats from his dacha.

“Comrades, commissars, Bolsheviks, apparatchiks, working people, cash cows, train drivers, civil servants of the Big Soviet State, Stasi Thoughtcrime Police. Today I address you from my dacha. I have taken a few days off to avoid any questions about this ridiculous call for some kind of enquiry about child abuse. Let me tell you, I do not have to answer questions to anyone about anything, especially from a filthy capitalist swine. The terrible things that I and the Labour government are covering up will stay covered up. This is the soviet communist way, and if you don’t like it, we will take away your choco rations.

“Comrades, we are being attacked by vile capitalists from the Imperialist USA, a terrible place where they actually believe in democracy, freedom, private business, aspiration, personal wealth, justice and free speech. These attacks are being led by the despicable capitalist far-right fascist stooge called Elon Musk.

“The abominable Elon Musk is trying to force the Labour Communist Party to open an enquiry dealing with issues that happened many, many years ago. This stupid man does not realise that in communist states, everyone is deemed as equal, even rapists and paedophiles, especially if they are ethnic. We will protect those people, particularly because of their ethnicity. Under communism, we make extra provisions to champion equality in diversity and inclusivity.

“Furthermore, any enquiry would threaten my leadership because it would delve into my conduct when I covered up the cover-up during the cover-up. This very conversation will be erased from all records and covered up and shredded.

“I am not bothered by you, Elon Musk, you despicable capitalist swine. Why don’t you take a trip to Mars where you belong, you entrepreneurial nincompoop! Now, please excuse me, I have to conduct another cover-up of child abuse by a protected ethnic group.”

INGSOC NOTICE – 211110111110-9WT-00097856400000-A-12229292929292929

JANE DOE, 21, OF ROCHDALE, SECTOR 32, WHO REPORTED THAT SHE WAS REPEATEDLY RAPED BY GANGS OF MEN FROM AN UNMENTIONABLE ETHNIC GROUP WHEN SHE WAS 12-YEARS OLD, WAS TODAY TAKEN AWAY AND SHUT UP. ANYONE WHO DARES TO THREATEN OUR WONDERFUL DIVERSITY WILL BE ERASED AND CANCELLED. IN OLDHAM, A GROOMING GANG WAS TODAY COMMENDED FOR THEIR WORK IN DIVERSITY BY RAPING A DIVERSE AMOUNT OF CHILDREN VARYING FROM THE AGES OF 9-15.

Labour Awards Work-From-Home Benefits to Grooming Gangs

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It’s not just the Big State civil service and train drivers who get a good deal under Labour, grooming gangs who operate in many parts of the country will be allowed to work from home, and allowed a 4-day grooming rape week.

“Even Pakistani rapists need a few days off from grooming and gang raping young English girls. Because these people are core Labour voters in many Northern and Midlands counties, we are not only halting any enquiries into these gangs but enabling them to continue what they are doing without fear of prosecution,” Labour Safeguard minister, Jess Phillips, told a Birmingham reporter on Tuesday.

An unnamed groomer from Rotherham was appreciative of the new Labour grooming gangs initiative.

“Labour gets my vote again. Thank you. I just had a hard night raping and grooming outside the local school. Thanks to Labour, I can have times to rest and conduct grooming and rape operations from my home and kebab house business.”

PM Keir Starmer also gave the new grooming gang Labour scheme his thumbs up.

“Anyone who disagrees with my decisions is a far-right fascist! Next!”

Should Criminals Be Let Off If They Are From Certain Ethnic Groups?

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This is the question. Should people who commit horrific crimes be let off just because they come from certain ethnic groups? This is what the woke progressives who are in charge of Britain’s compromised and ineffective criminal justice system have been doing for decades.

If you commit a crime, it should not matter what ethnic group you come from, everyone should be treated the same when it comes to justice.

Punishment for rape in Pakistan under Pakistani law is either the death penalty or imprisonment of between ten and twenty-five years. For cases related to gang rape, the punishment is either the death penalty or life imprisonment. In Britain, gangs of Pakistani rapists took advantage of Britain’s lax justice system and committed heinous crimes against children, yet for decades these crimes were ignored and covered-up because the CPS, under Keir Starmer, did not want to look like “racists”. How the fuck is that justified?

There is no point in importing millions upon millions of people into any country if those people do not bother to integrate, and if they are given rights above those of the indigenous population, because that’s what Labour and the socialist Conservatives have done. Many of the imported unskilled migrants come from backward Third World countries where medieval cultural attitudes to women are the norm, which are wholly incompatible with the West.

What Britain has turned into today is a dystopian cunt hole of a nation which is fractured beyond repair. Each town, each city now has ghettos where people who have been hurriedly fast tracked into these places are separate from the rest of the indigenous population. This applies to continental Europe as well as Britain. White flight is a very real thing, as soon as any area is inundated by a foreign (mostly third world) mass, true English people immediately vacate the area because to them, that spot has now been permanently tainted. London, for example, has always been a cosmopolitan city, but today it is not cosmopolitan, it is Third World. No one even speaks English any more in the fucking capital city. Try going on a bus, and you will have people dressed in full ethnic costumes shouting into their phones at loud volume in some language that is not English, whilst spitting all over the floor or putting their bare feet up on the seat, maybe cleaning in between their toes before flicking the bits onto someone’s head sitting in front of them. Don’t bother driving a vehicle in London either, no one knows the highway code, or has bothered to pass a British driving test or has insured their vehicle. No one fucking indicates, they just turn. If you do manage to go over 12 MPH on a London road you’re fucking lucky because the roads are either full of rickshaws or Eastern European window cleaners who will gladly flob a massive greeny on your windscreen at the traffic lights, then ask you for money after the horrific act.

There is some good news though, we’ve got another four years of Labour government. Enjoy!

I’m a TikTok Food Scientist… These Are the Things I Would NEVER Eat

A TikTok food scientist featured in the Daily Mail ‘news’ site has revealed the foods she would ‘never’ touch – due to their high-risk nature.

The expert, who posts under username @donteatanythingyousillybastards, who has no qualifications whatsoever, shared the foods she would never eat as they pose significant threat to one’s health.

“Number one, is food,” the food scientist explained in a TikTok video.

The expert even listed 5 foods she would never eat and the recipe for preparing them.

1. food (recipe – don’t put anything into a bowl, mix for two hours, put into an air fryer for 8 hours, serve)
2. food (recipe – sit down on sofa, pick up mobile phone, doom scroll for 16 hours on TikTok)
3. food (recipe – put nothing in the oven, don’t switch it on, go for a long walk)
4. food (recipe – go to a piercing parlour, get your nipples pierced and a bull nose ring)
5. food (recipe – sit down on sofa, pick up mobile phone, doom scroll Mail Online for 16 hours)

The TikTok scientist now plans to make another useful TikTok video on what food to eat even though all food is bad and should not be eaten, next week.

*written in the style of a DM article