17.7 C
London
Monday, December 15, 2025
secret satire society
Home Blog Page 2

STARMER: “Comrades, we need to build more gulags now that we have non-jury trials”

Rachel Thieves
-
0
STARMER: “Comrades, we need to build more gulags now that we have non-jury trials”

 

Comrades, I am so proud that the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain has joined the ranks of other non-jury trials and tyrannic regimes like:

Vladimir Lenin 1917-1922

Joseph Stalin 1922-1952

Benito Mussolini 1931

Adolf Hitler 1934

Francisco Franco 1939

Mao Zedong 1949

Fidel Castro 1959

Pol Pot 1975

Idi Amin 1971-1972

Saddam Hussein 1970s

Ayatollah Khomeini 1979

Hugo Chavez 1999-2013

Maduro 2013 –

Keir Starmer 2025

The Labour Party under Comrade Starmer is currently transitioning the country from socialism to full communism, and this will take some time and hardship. Please be patient, and understand that sometimes we may withhold sugar rations or other rations and energy costs will rise at exponential rates. Non-jury trials are part of the process of change towards communism, do not be alarmed.

Facial recognition

The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain will be strong under the care of Comrade Starmer and the Big State. We are also introducing facial recognition cameras in all areas of the country and an invasive internet control scheme along with a new social credit Smart ID biometric card scheme — all for your safety, of course.

Trial by non-jury

gulag 2 pileIf anyone disagrees with Comrade Starmer, you will be tried with no jury by one of our specially selected Labour Big State judges.

We are in the process of building more gulags and liquidation centres so that we can accommodate the hundreds of thousands of political prisoners, social media commentators and pro-democracy zealots who will be processed shortly.

During your trial you will join an orderly queue and be escorted by a Labour Stasi guard to the court where a judge will examine your case and sentence you in less than 35 seconds. There will no longer be prolonged, protracted, tedious trials which used to uphold “democracy”. Those are useless concepts banned under the tyrannical rule of Labour under Keir Starmer and his commissars.

After you have been sentenced in the non-jury trial, you will either be sent to a gulag for the rest of your life or liquidated and processed into Net Zero Juice — that cool, refreshing drink!

Have a nice fucking day.

 

Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

Rachel Thieves
-
0
Comrade Starmer is No Friend of Meddling Capitalist Enemy the USA

The vile capitalist meddling state of the United States of America, which values democracy and free speech as well as anti-immigration from Third World shitholes, is an enemy to the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain. Comrade Starmer, today at an address at the Red Parliament, rebuked the USA for preaching to Britain’s soviet state for rejecting democracy, freedom of speech, and embracing Third World immigration.

“Comrades, I speak to you about democracy. We arrest people for social media posts on the internet, we regulate the internet and police it with voracity, limiting the ability for free speech. We have outlawed trial by jury, a right that was enshrined in the Magna Carta, and used globally by decent, democratic states for a thousand years. We arrest our own people who voice their concerns about their safety from our mass immigration push from the Third World and jail them calling them “Far-right fascists”, we tax capitalist businesses so they cease to exist, we tax citizens with any assets or wealth causing many to flee with their assets and wealth, we punish aspiration, savers, private sector pensioners, and anyone who works hard (working people) to try to make a better life for themselves and their family, whilst rewarding the feckless and lazy useless-eaters dependent on the Big State. Fuck all these people, they will be liquidated when we finalise the transition from socialism to complete communism.

COMRADE STARMER DEFIES USA CAPITALIST SWINE Trump inauguration

“Everything about the Yankee Cowboy Capitalist Pig USA is against the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain, and we will wage war with them in all ways possible — including nuclear if it comes to it.

“If any soviet citizen of the PRSB is caught fraternising with an American capitalist pig, they will be arrested and subsequently liquidated. Thank you pleb cunts. You will continue to work hard for the Big State so we can tax all of your feeble salaries, and that the transition to communism can continue. Now fuck off out of my sight!”

PRSB URGENT BULLETIN

MARY TRIMBLEGRINCH, 11, FROM STALIN AVENUE, SECTOR 9, FRAMLINGHAM, HAS BEEN AWARDED TWO USED TOOTH BRUSHES, A BOX OF FIVE-TIMES USED TOILET PAPER AND AN EXTRA 0.00031 GRAMS OF PEPPER FOR REPORTING HER ENTIRE VILLAGE WHO TRIED TO APPLY FOR ASYLUM IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. THEY WERE ALL REMOVED FROM THE VILLAGE IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THURSDAY MORNING AND LIQUIDATED. THEY ARE NOW NET ZERO JUICE — THAT COOL, REFRESHING DRINK! REMEMBER LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!

 

Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

Rachel Thieves
-
1
Trump Issues “Ultimate Bro-Mance Pardon” to Putin, Claims Ukraine Invasion Was Just “Borrowing Crimea for a Home Renovation”

In a move analysts are calling “the diplomatic equivalent of matching friendship bracelets,” U.S. President Donald Trump has reportedly issued an extravagant symbolic pardon to Vladimir Putin, describing the Russian leader’s invasion of Ukraine as “a harmless little detour to expand his seaside dacha.”

“He wasn’t invading,” Trump told reporters from the gold-plated veranda of Mar-a-Lago. “He was borrowing Crimea to build a sun room. A beautiful sun room. Very classy. Maybe the best sun room ever built. Totally legal if you ask me, which, by the way, everyone always does.”

According to unnamed sources familiar with the situation (and the Mar-a-Lago brunch menu), the pardon was delivered via a velvet-bound certificate embossed with the phrase “To My Best International Kompromat Buddy.” Witnesses say Putin accepted the gesture over a secure video call, nodding stoically while spooning beluga caviar into a chalice once owned by Rasputin.

Not Just Putin: A Two-for-One Clemency Special

Reports also indicate that a former Honduran drug lord received a surprise pardon as part of what insiders are calling a “Bromance Bundle Deal.” Details remain scarce, but early chatter suggests the recipient expressed gratitude through a handwritten note accompanied by a fruit basket, several gold bars, and an early-bird coupon for beachfront properties.

The Real Gift? A Lifetime of Luxury

Despite the headline-grabbing pardons, political insiders insist that Putin’s true spoils lie elsewhere. Allegedly, he has secured a lifetime, no-limit supply of Siberian caviar and zero-interest loans personally signed by Trump, labelled “For Friendship Projects Only”

And, perhaps most shockingly, unrestricted access to Mar-a-Lago’s secret karaoke lounge, where sources claim Putin’s rendition of Back in the U.S.S.R. “brings down the house every fucking time.”

When pressed for comment, the Kremlin simply released a six-word statement: “Still going to invade Europe. Suka!”

Global Reaction

World leaders responded with a mix of confusion, eye rolls, and frantic phone calls to their protocol teams.

An EU diplomat, speaking under anonymity, summed up the general mood: “At this point we’re not sure if we’re watching global politics or an overly long reality show reunion episode.”

Meanwhile, Trump hinted there may be more pardons coming.

“Kim Jong-un’s been asking nicely,” he said. “He’s got great manners. We’ll see.”

New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

Rachel Thieves
-
1
New Analysis Predicts the Green Economy Will Exceed $7 Trillion Annually by 2030

The global green economy has already grown beyond $5 trillion and is projected to surpass $7 trillion per year by 2030, opening unprecedented growth prospects for companies across sectors.

A newly released report shows that revenue from green markets is, on average, increasing at twice the pace of traditional business lines.

Companies operating in environmentally focused sectors are also gaining access to cheaper capital and frequently receive higher market valuations.

However, the pace of development varies widely across green technologies. Mature segments such as solar power, wind energy, battery storage, and electric vehicles have achieved global cost competitiveness, while higher-cost solutions, including low-carbon hydrogen and carbon capture, utilisation and storage (CCUS) still require significant financial support to accelerate cost reductions.

Businesses across industries are already capitalising on the rapid expansion of the green economy, which has been the second-fastest growing sector over the last decade. According to a new publication, Already a Multi-Trillion-Dollar Market: A CEO Guide to Growth in the Green Economy, the global green sector now generates $5 trillion annually and is expected to exceed $7 trillion before the end of the decade.

Produced in collaboration with Boston Consulting Group, the report highlights that—despite global economic uncertainty and diverging policy environments, investment in green technologies continues to hit new records. It identifies the green economy as one of the world’s strongest growth engines, second only to the technology sector, and outlines the structural advantages available to companies transitioning into green markets.

Pim Valdre, Head of Climate and Nature Economy at the World Economic Forum, commented:

“Two years ago, in the World Economic Forum’s Winning in Green Markets: Scaling Products for a Net Zero World, we argued that early entry into green markets would prove commercially advantageous and that large-scale markets would eventually materialize. Despite current challenges facing global climate efforts, this latest report demonstrates that the green economy is not a distant prospect—it is already a defining growth driver of this decade.”

The study finds that companies generating green revenues frequently outperform in key financial areas. On average, green revenue streams grow twice as quickly as conventional business segments. Their cost of capital also tends to be lower.

Firms earning more than 50% of their revenue from green offerings generally experience valuation premiums of 12%–15% in capital markets, reflecting strong investor confidence in their future profitability and resilience.

Rapid declines in technology costs have further supported this trend. Since 2010, the cost of solar photovoltaics and lithium-ion batteries has dropped by approximately 90%, while offshore wind costs have fallen by about 50%. These shifts have made low-carbon technologies increasingly competitive.

The report estimates that 55% of the emissions reductions required to achieve global decarbonisation can now be achieved using solutions that are already cost competitive. An additional 20% of reductions can be reached at only modest cost premiums, and 5% can be achieved through changes in behaviour.

The remaining 20%, involving deep decarbonisation technologies, still face major cost barriers and will need robust policy and industry support to reach economic viability.

The decline in technology costs aligns with massive global investment in clean energy, driven primarily by China. According to the report, China invested $659 billion in clean energy in 2024 and will account for more than 60% of new global renewable capacity additions through 2030. It also leads the world in patents for solar technology, electric vehicles, and batteries, shifting the concentration of green innovation and manufacturing toward the East.

Lessons from Industry Leaders

The publication includes 14 case studies from members of the World Economic Forum’s Alliance of CEO Climate Leaders, demonstrating how early movers in green markets have transformed their participation into competitive advantages. It concludes with a CEO strategy guide illustrating how successful companies use growth accelerators, such as scaling technologies to maturity, shaping regulatory environments, and broadening access to finance to succeed in the green economy.

Patrick Herhold, Managing Director and Senior Partner at Boston Consulting Group, stated:

“Three things stand out: the durability of the green economy, with investment repeatedly reaching new records despite shifting public narratives; China’s leading role in manufacturing, innovation, and deployment of green technologies; and the strong opportunity for companies in green markets to outperform their peers and command valuation premiums. With projections pointing to a $7 trillion market, the prospects for bold companies are extensive.”

About the Annual Meeting 2026

#WEF26

The World Economic Forum’s 56th Annual Meeting, scheduled for 19–23 January 2026 in Davos-Klosters, Switzerland, will bring together leaders from business, government, civil society, international organisations, and academia under the theme A Spirit of Dialogue. Click here to learn more.

“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

Rachel Thieves
-
0
“An OBR official who revealed the lies told by Reeves and Starmer has been liquidated”

Comrades, I am happy to announce that the head of the fiscal watchdog was liquidated on Monday for threatening to reveal the lies and market manipulation of Comrade Starmer and Commissar Reeves regarding the £30 billion imaginary black hole budget.

Commissar Hughes, the chairman of the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR), was liquidated and processed into Net Zero Juice amid a fiasco that saw his organisation leak the Budget and Rachel Reeves accused of misrepresenting its forecasts.

We must make examples of these traitors within the ranks of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain.

Commissar Reeves is always right, even when she lies to everyone. Comrade Starmer is always right, even when he tells blatant lies. If anyone else lies, though, then they are liquidated.

Let this be a lesson to any other official or apparatchik who thinks that telling the truth is a good thing to do.

A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

Rachel Thieves
-
5
A Day in the Life of a Woman in Labour’s Benefits Britain

Labour Chancellor Rachel Reeves just lied and misled the voters, parliament and markets to grant unproductive useless-eater people in Benefits Britain a huge increase in taxpayer funded free money. Millions of families across the country will have their benefits increased to over £6,000 per month, which equates to £72,000 per annum, tax-free, with free NHS, free property rental, and free car ownership. There were cheers across the UK from Jaywick to Glasgow as many people would be rolling in it thanks to Rachel Reeves.

I never could afford anything when I had a job!

“I don’t know why there is such an outcry about Rachel’s budget. In my house there were cheers when she announced the benefits bonanza!” a Universal Credit recipient with seven children each from a different father revealed.

Kerry Pratchett, 34, is on Universal Credit and PIP payments. She enrolled on the schemes in 2024 when Labour came into power after complaining to her local GP of tennis elbow, and depression, and receives over £5,200 per month.

“I was employed in a job but unhappy. Like, I would have to get up in the morning and get to work by 9.20 am. It was such a strain on me, especially if I had a night out on the town the night before. Then I would have to answer to some boss telling me what to do when all I wanted to do is surf my phone on social media. Holidays? They gave me 14 days leave and that was it. Ridiculous. Plus, I had to pay for everything myself. Rent, car, trains, food, prescriptions, electric, gas, water, insurance, the fucking lot.

“Enough was enough. Now I holiday every three weeks, Spain, Tuscany, Portugal, Greece…been everywhere, going to Ko Samui on Wednesday and staying in a 5-star for three weeks…lovely. If it weren’t for Rachel Reeves, it would not be possible.

“It’s not just the mega shopping sprees, but I spend over £900 a week on booze and fags. Spliffs cost an extra £1,200 a week, but it has cheered me up no end being on the books. If we need a new this or that in the house, I just call up the housing association, and it’s in the next day, no questions no cost, fucking beautiful.

“My taxpayer funded Mercedes is great too, it’s a necessity with my tennis elbow and depression. I would feel even more depressed if I had to pay for the damn thing innit. I heard they’re going to clamp down on the luxury models now, but this means all I have to do is get an older model, ah, it’s nothing serious.

“Anyways, Strictly just came on! I’m having four large pizzas delivered and will be washing it all down with six bottles of Prosecco and a large spliff made by my Jamaican drug dealer boyfriend. I have so much money now at the end of the month, I don’t know what to spend it on. Usually more booze and drugs innit!

“Remember, please work harder so that I can live the Life of Riley off your hard-earned money. Enjoy your tax rises, you “working people” cunts. Ohh…and a shout-out to Rach from Customer Services…sweet as…” (takes a massive toke on her spliff)

GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

Rachel Thieves
-
0
GameZone Casino Popularity Grows Across Online Communities

GameZone Casino rises in popularity across online communities because many Filipino users look for digital entertainment that feels familiar, stable, and simple to navigate across everyday devices. These habits shape the platform’s consistent growth as more players discover that the site reflects the digital comfort many Filipinos expect today.

The attention strengthens because community conversations often include explanations of GameZone luck skill myths that help new players understand what to expect before trying the platform.

The wider discussions also show how the GameZone PH online casino environment continues to take shape within Filipino digital culture, especially among users who prefer calm layouts and friendly system behaviour. This comfort encourages players to explore the platform daily, because the structure avoids unnecessary complications and supports smooth activity from the moment they log in until they finish their sessions.

GameZone Casino Builds Interest Through Steady Digital Comfort

GameZone Casino appeals to many Filipino players because its interface reflects a clear sense of digital order that guides users through every feature. The homepage shows a structure that directs the eye naturally toward sections that matter most, which is important for players who want simple movement across the platform.

New users feel supported because the layout reduces confusion and helps them follow each step without guesswork. This feeling of guided comfort is one of the strongest reasons many first-time players return to the platform for longer sessions.

The clean visual style removes unnecessary distractions, which allows the entire site to feel welcoming rather than overwhelming. A clutter-free arrangement creates a sense of ease that supports quick breaks and longer play without tension.

The predictability found in each section reassures users who want a consistent experience across their favourite features. Many Filipino players value this kind of digital simplicity because it mirrors their preference for entertainment that does not require complex instructions.

GameZone Casino Strengthens Community Interaction Across Platforms

GameZone Casino continues to gain strong visibility in online communities because the platform appeals to users who prefer slow pacing and clean interface behaviour.

Many Filipino players discuss the platform in digital spaces, where they exchange impressions and share helpful information about early navigation. These discussions highlight how the platform’s calm design supports the working habits of players who enjoy stable digital environments without sudden changes or confusing displays.

Community conversations remain active because users appreciate how GameZone Casino presents its features in a manageable way. The website avoids overwhelming its players with excessive animations or complex functions that would interrupt their attention. This restraint allows players to focus on what matters and explore their preferred sections without frustration. The clarity in design encourages new users to join discussions, as they find it easy to follow instructions offered by experienced players.

GameZone Casino Maintains Player Appeal Through Consistent Features

GameZone Casino keeps players engaged because its foundational design remains tightly focused on clear navigation and everyday usability. Filipino users often highlight how easy it is to return to the platform after long days because the structure feels the same each time. This consistent experience supports relaxation, since players do not need to adjust to changing layouts or unexpected updates that disrupt familiar paths.

Many users point out how the GameZone slot selection encourages steady play with its simple mechanics and smooth transitions. The slot section avoids complicated effects that might confuse players who only want straightforward entertainment. The calm presentation allows players to enjoy short moments of fun without needing to learn difficult controls.

This type of experience is especially appealing to players who want predictable entertainment that does not demand heavy focus.

New users share similar impressions as they explore the slot selections. Many note that the steady speed of operation helps them enjoy the game without pressure. The clarity of movement across each section reassures beginners who want to take their time understanding the rhythm of the platform.

This steady appeal supports the platform’s long-term presence among Filipino users, as it aligns with the patterns of digital enjoyment common across the country.

GameZone Casino Deepens Its Cultural Role Among Filipino Users

GameZone Casino blends naturally with Filipino digital habits because many local players prefer platforms that offer direct communication, recognisable flow, and simple structures. Filipino entertainment culture values familiarity, and the platform reflects this preference through its steady presentation that encourages players to relax rather than adjust to unfamiliar systems. The comfort of using something recognisable encourages new players to explore the platform at their own pace.

Cultural presence grows stronger when players discover how easily GameZone online games fit into everyday routines. Filipino digital behaviour often includes short breaks throughout the day, which makes stable platforms essential. The platform supports these habits by offering predictable experiences that match the flow of a typical Filipino day.

These patterns create natural conversation topics within communities because players enjoy discussing games that reflect culturally familiar rhythms.

GameZone Casino benefits from community-driven interactions, which play a major role in shaping its recognition across various online groups. Many players share their impressions across forums, social channels, and message groups, helping new users understand what to expect when they explore the platform. This openness supports a friendly environment where returnees guide newcomers with practical tips, which encourages further growth.

gamezone a

GameZone Casino Supports Long-Term Engagement Across Online Groups

The ongoing rise of GameZone Casino visibility continues to shape long-term engagement within various online communities.

Discussions highlight essential features such as easy navigation, reliable system performance, and smooth learning curves, which support both casual and dedicated players. Many Filipino users log in each day because they enjoy the predictable environment that fits their digital comfort zone.

These discussions also introduce an important topic related to digital habits: device behaviour and downloading patterns. Players frequently mention how convenient it is to manage GameZone download activity across common devices. This convenience helps reduce hesitation among potential users because they feel confident that their first experience will be uncomplicated.

New players often arrive with questions that experienced members answer with clear and friendly explanations. This process builds trust, which encourages new users to explore the platform without fear. Trust becomes the foundation of long-term engagement, as it encourages returning players to share more insights about their experiences.

“I Lied! So What! You Can’t Do Anything About it! Pay the £30 Billion Tax and Shut Up!”

Rachel Thieves
-
0
“I Lied! So What! You Can’t Do Anything About it! Pay the £30 Billion Tax and Shut Up!”

I lied, and I lied. The OBR even informed me there was £4.2 Billion of fiscal headroom just days before, on October 31, yet I still continued with my lies of a £30 billion black hole. I used the same lies as the £22 billion black hole that I used for my first budget, which I got away with as well.

UK TAX BURDENTax as share of GDP 38.3% Burden at an all-time high, according to OBR

I am unjustly under pressure to quit after the OBR published a detailed account of its discussions with the Treasury that took place before my tax-bomb budget of nightmares.

I manipulated the markets for political purposes

The OBR has shown that my scheming officials and I falsely exaggerated the fiscal shortfall faced and that I plotted to release the evil £30bn Budget tax raid, to save myself and Comrade Starmer from staunch far-far-leftist backbench MPs calling for tax rises to pay for higher welfare spending on scroungers.

Soak the ‘working people’

What are you going to do about it, huh? Nothing because I, Commissar Rachel Reeves, do not answer to anyone. I lied on my CV as well, nothing happened about that. I lied about not being informed that I had to buy a licence to rent my mansion out. Not only that, but I lied and I lied and I lied. But I am immune to any comeback from my lies or any investigation. The House of Commons and their silly little investigation units cannot do anything, or the other MPs, or the judges because we own them all.

I am a liar, and I enjoy lying because I can do things and get away with them whenever I want. I am immune to prosecution or any form of law.

Now kindly fuck off back to your freezing hovels so you can pay for the huge public sector and union boss pension and salary increases your fucking £70 billion tax money is going to pay for.

I hate you all, you are nothing but peasant scum to me and the rest of the Labour hierarchy. We treat you with derision and high levels of contempt. You must work harder and for longer hours to pay tax for the Big State bloated employees and their vast expense accounts, salaries and pensions and benefits while we steal your fucking money and make you pay 3p-per fucking mile… you vile cunts.

My next budget is going to be even better — I will claim a £100 billion black hole. How’s that, you pathetic scum? You can’t do anything, I’m in charge now, and my lies are impenetrable. No one can touch me! Bwah-hah-hah-haaaargh!

Imagine How Much Propaganda it Took to Convince Women This is Oppressive

Rachel Thieves
-
1
Imagine How Much Propaganda it Took to Convince Women This is Oppressive

A smoky boardroom in the 1950s. A group of tired policymakers are arguing about how to expand the tax base without raising taxes and causing a revolt.

Suddenly, the door swings open.

Enter Edward Bernays, the father of public relations, nephew of Sigmund Freud, and man who could convince the public to enthusiastically buy anything from cigarettes to bacon.

He looks around, raises an eyebrow, and says:

“Gentlemen… you’re thinking about this the wrong way.”

A confused bureaucrat asks, “Mr Bernays, how do we encourage the other half of the population to join the workforce?”

Bernays smiles, the smile of a man who sees society not as people, but as a receptive psychological canvas.

“We’ll make it desirable.”

“Desirable?” they ask.

“Yes, we’ll tell women that going to an office is liberation. Freedom. Self-actualisation. Glamour. Progress. Modernity. A beautifully marketed escape from the shackles of ‘domestic oppression’. Fighting against the ‘patriarchy’ empowering feminism. We won’t push them out of the home… no, no, no…”

He leans in.

“We’ll make them choose it.”

One of the politicians gasps. Another faints.

Bernays continues:

“You can sell anything to women as long as you frame it as empowerment.”

“Then we can tax two incomes instead of one. The GDP goes up. The public thinks it’s their idea. And the best part?”

He pauses, theatrically.

“We sell them a whole new line of products they’ll need once they’re too busy to cook.”

The room erupts into applause.

If there’s one thing Edward Bernays excelled at, it was turning ordinary objects into symbols of liberation.

Cars? Freedom.
Bacon? Masculinity.
Cigarettes? Women’s empowerment, obviously.

In 1929, he orchestrated the famous “Torches of Freedom” stunt, where debutantes marched in the Easter Parade smoking cigarettes to protest “patriarchal oppression.”
(It was actually orchestrated by Bernays on behalf of the tobacco industry, which wanted to double its consumer base.)

And with that single PR sleight-of-hand, smoking went from “unladylike” to “rebellious empowerment with a side of lung disease.”

Forward to 2025: Dropping fertility rates, stressed women, increase in cancer, depression, loneliness and women’s hair falling out…but more tax has made it worthwhile.

“It was always the women, and above all the young ones, who were the most bigoted adherents of the Party, the swallowers of slogans, the amateur spies and nosers-out of unorthodoxy.”
― George Orwell, 1984

Comrades, the Redistribution of Wealth From the Bourgeoisie to the Work-Shy is Necessary

Rachel Thieves
-
0
Comrades, the Redistribution of Wealth From the Bourgeoisie to the Work-Shy is Necessary

The People’s Republic of Soviet Britain is currently transitioning from socialism to full communism. We are proud to be conducting our primary mission with the redistribution of wealth from the greedy capitalist bourgeois swine, and their stolen wealth to those who are under the safe mantle of the Big State welfare system. The work-shy, the feckless and the millions of Third World migrants who are our core voting base.

“The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.” Lenin

Labour has increased taxation by £70 billion on the cash cow “working people”, savers and pensioners. If you have been responsible and worked hard all your life, we will take away all your money and assets. Yes, it was a trap. We fattened you up, and now it is time for the slaughter. All aspiration, hard work and decency will be punished until you have nothing left.

It’s not all good news, we have also introduced breakfast clubs for your children so that they are tied further into the Big State apparatus, as we apply soviet indoctrination to their pliable minds daily from primary school to university. Dependency on the Soviet state from birth to death is your punishment.

The collectivist communist Labour Party is solely based on the ideological policies of Vladimir Lenin who stated that “the goal of socialism is communism” and we are joyfully transitioning the former UK into the true vision of communist utopia which we call the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain.

The next few years and decades will be of great change. You, comrades, must embrace this transition from socialism to full communism. Remember, if you do not — you will be liquidated.

You will not own anything, you will not have any assets or property. You will depend fully on the Big State. You will be happy.

123...798Page 2 of 798
squib footer 270

Breaking News

Copyright © Daily Squib 2024.

The Daily Squib is a curious satirical parody newspaper offering breaking news, political satire, comedy, investigative journalism, opinion and celebrity news.