In a spectacular military operation, U.S. forces captured the President of Greenland, and have now secured the entire country on the orders of President Donald J. Trump.
In the early hours of Monday morning, social media sites were buzzing with the news of the clinical snatch and grab operation. Thankfully, there were no casualties apart from a little melting.
We Got Him
President Trump made the announcement on his Truth Social website.
“President Lort Hoved of Greenland has been captured. This is tremendous news, I give you. Our tremendous marines and Delta Force, you know they’re the best in the world, well, they swooped down into the field, you know in the snowy conditions, and they grabbed the president. Don’t mess with America, if we want something, we gotta have it. Don’t listen to the fake news folks, trust me when I tell you, this is huge, tremendous real news straight from your supreme commander of the most tremendous military in the world. Those Marines, shoulda seen ’em, they were tremendous, huge!!! Tremendous. I like the Danish people, we got no issues with ’em, but that president had to go, and now we own Greenland. Sorry, Denmark, but you kinda owed us. Drilling and mining starts tomorrow. Russia and China! Did I mention them? China! China! China!”
