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Saudi Oil Fields: Iranian Proxies Winning Victories With West

Glen Fiddick
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Saudi Oil Fields: Iranian Proxies Winning Victories With West

As the Saudi oil fields burn and are now at half capacity, the West can only look on as if blinded by the headlights of Iranian supremacy in clandestine operations within the region.

This cat and mouse game is something the Persians excel in, and are winning the war because the Western allies are too scared to act.

The EU still has hopes of keeping the Iranians in a failed nuclear deal, as does the UK which has been shown to be impotent in their inaction to hostilities from the Iranians. The Americans are just as impotent, now that Washington hawk Bolton has been fired by the US administration, Trump thinks he can actually talk to the Iranian Mullahs who will literally laugh in his face and mock him mercilessly behind his back.

There is only one fix for this stand-off and that is most certainly a full scale attack on Iran, with the Saudis, America, Israel and EU nations, but until that happens, the Iranians will continue to agitate the region, to inhibit oil supplies to the West, and to utilise its myriad of proxies to conduct clandestine operations on Western assets.

Despite promising to not supply oil to Syria, the Iranians used their previously seized Gibraltar tanker to unload oil to the Iranian and Russian backed Assad regime in Syria. This act made the US and UK look like a laughing stock, and the Iranians have even kept a previously seized British oil tanker for themselves.

Obviously any incursion into Iran, if the West ever has the guts to actually move with plans to attack, will cross the red lines of Russia and China, which could escalate to bigger things. The Iranians are capitalising on this Western fear to act autonomously within the region without any signs of constraint.

The Iranians are now commandeering Iraq, Yemen, and Syria with thousands of proxy agents as well as cells embedded in Western countries too. This latest Iranian coordinated attack on Saudi Arabian oil fields will leave an indelible mark on relations with this rogue nation in the future.

BoJo’s Channeling Trump as PM – But Could a Business Leader Do Better?

Glen Fiddick
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BoJo’s Channeling Trump as PM – But Could a Business Leader Do Better?

​There is plenty that can be said about British politics at the moment, but one undeniable fact is that it is in a pretty good state. The Brexit process is running along nice and smoothly, and as the days go by it is clear that our glorious leader Boris Johnson is really growing into the role of Prime Minister.

From telling porkies about pork pies to suspending Parliament, he’s really taken to the whole thing with a minimum of fuss. Worried about remainers thwarting democracy or the House of Commons getting in the way of Brexit? Simply stick your fingers in your ears, shout ‘la la la’ at the top of your voice and pretend they’re not there. Easy!

He’s certainly knocking it out of the park when compared to Theresa and the way she had the audacity to actually attempt to negotiate a Eurocentric surrender deal for never leaving the EU. The cheek! No deal completely makes sense, as it ensures a proper clean break as voted by 17.4 million people and the added bonuses of low taxes and lucrative US trade deals. Fantastic!

What a joke

Saying that, it does feel like the UK is missing a trick when it comes to its political leaders. Having actual politicians with experience in governing is a bit old-school these days, and you have to wonder whether it is high time we went down another road. After all, other countries seem to be having so much fun by doing that. Just look at Ukraine and the way they poetically highlighted how politics is just an enormous joke by literally giving the presidency to a comedian.

While that is a nice move, we remain big fans of the ‘business leader as political leader’ route. However, with Richard Branson seemingly set to blast off into outer space in the near future and Mike Ashley still running Newcastle United, who could we get to step into the breach?

Surely the first place to look would be the FTSE 100 index. As social trading platform eToro outlines, the famous list features the 100 largest companies by capitalisation on the London Stock Exchange and is refreshed every quarter so that declining companies can be replaced with fresh blood. It’s basically the Premier League, but with less TV money.

So why don’t we just see which companies are doing well on there and try and pinch their top dogs? After all, the strategy of sticking a businessman in charge of the country has gone swimmingly for our delightful US cousins.

Top Trump

Considering the huge global splash he made in the worlds of board games, steaks and vodka, we all just knew Donald Trump would do a great job as US president.

Time and time again he just knows how to get it right. Just look at the whole situation around the US wanting to buy Somalia; perfectly reasonable! All he did was equate the purchase of a territory with high rates of anarchy, unemployment and war to a “large real estate deal” and those pesky Samolians (sic) got all grumpy about it! He’s always handled international relations well too, particularly when it came to Theresa May. Praising her handling of Brexit while on a state visit to the UK was a master-stroke, but the best moment was undoubtedly when he took to Twitter to truthfully label her efforts a disaster just weeks later. It’s that clarity of thought and consistency which really sets him apart from other world leaders.

Donald has undoubtedly shown there is another way for countries to be run and he has very definitely highlighted that business leaders have a lot to offer in the political sphere. While politicians have often been accused of not doing enough or lying, Trump has shown that business leaders are undoubtedly men of action. Just look at how fast that wall is going up!

Make Britain Great Again

So while we think that BoJo is doing OK as our PM, could a business leader, especially one whose opinions resemble your uncle’s rants at family dinners, ultimately do a better job? The US has undoubtedly shown the way on this and we think that Trump’s track record is proof enough that the time is right to find a great mind from the world of business who can shape the UK into a thriving and exciting place once again.

Ultimately, considering where things are at right now, what could possibly go wrong?

Visitor From Outer Space: The Strategic Engineer Behind Brexit

Glen Fiddick
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Visitor From Outer Space: The Strategic Engineer Behind Brexit

Bismarck, Sun Tzu, Machiavelli, are some of the luminaries from human history that have affected this engineer in his work who came to earth to help in moments of serious complexity and urgency.

“I awoke one evening to a flash of azure light, and this little green creature with a big forehead, obviously with a huge brain, was floating in front of me on a disc. Immediately I pinched myself to make sure I was not dreaming. He did not communicate vocally but through telepathy. He told me he had come to help Britain leave the EU, and this task would require other-worldly skills in tactics and strategy,” Boris Johnson recalled before the EU Referendum had been won.

The Vote Leave campaign required intricate tactical excellence and skill to win because the government of the time was behind the Remain campaign as was the EU.

When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.
O.V.B

This creature then engineered the political death of Remainers who had hijacked the Brexit negotiations, and was instrumental in BoJo becoming the next PM. Since Johnson’s instatement as Prime Minister the engineer or Mekon as he is sometimes called has successfully navigated the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune thrown at the Brexit government by various Remainer plots in parliament, but we’re still not out of the woods. There is still a lot of work to be done until Brexit is finalized, especially before October 31.

The message? Don’t mess with the engineer, because he will fuck you up so bad you will truly wish you were on another planet.

EU Soviet Comrade Cameron Returns

Glen Fiddick
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EU Soviet Comrade Cameron Returns

Like a creature from the Black Lagoon, or an unwanted case of the clap, Comrade Cameron has once again returned from his Soviet EU wilderness to sell his new book and berate some old enemies from the old days.

Big Society

“Your papers are not in order! Halten zie!” Comrade Cameron shouts with his East German Stasi accent at a bemused Chipping Norton postman delivering the mail.

“I missen zie old days, and I missen zie Comrade Clegg, he is now worken for Facebook en zie! Einen EU Soviet project is under Blitzkriegen from Boris and Gove! It is meiner mission zie to attack them as my Meisters in Brussels zie have ordered! Otherwise my booken zie will not sellen zie! Jah?” Comrade Cameron rails on.

The EU Referendum did not go as planned for poor Comrade Cameron, here was a devout Soviet EU operative who thought the deal was in the bag, he even spent £9 million of British taxpayers’ money to make a case against its own people. How could he lose the EU Referendum, it was inconceivable?

And then the results came in…

 

 

 

Climate Scientists: Dinosaur Farts From Millions Years Ago Caused Global Warming

Glen Fiddick
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Climate Scientists: Dinosaur Farts From Millions Years Ago Caused Global Warming

The planet is still recovering from dinosaur farts created from the Mesozoic period over 266 million years ago, climate scientists have revealed.

“The air we are breathing today still contains methane and carbon dioxide created by dinosaurs millions of years ago. Creatures like the Diplodocus and Brontosaurus would violently expel huge amounts of gas from their asses which combined, would contribute to global warming today,” professor Giancarlo Moritz, at the Institute of Climate Change revealed in a new study released, Friday.

Imagine a fart from a Dreadnoughtus which roamed the earth 77 million years ago. It weighed 67 tonnes, and was 85 feet (25.91 metres) long. These amazing animals would eat vegetation all day long, and the amount of gas produced by them would equal about 40 double-decker buses. There were herds of these dinosaurs all across the globe, all creating huge farts which contributed to global warming.

Diplodocus
Diplodocus

“A fart from a Dreadnoughtus or Argentinosaurus was so powerful that it could blow down a small bush or a smaller dinosaur in the wrong place at the wrong time. Imagine the discharge of energy from an engine on a small private jet. That is the power these dinosaurs had when they bust their anuses and farted in the wilderness of the Cretaceous period.”

The Climate Change Institute is still conducting further research into the dinosaur farts that caused global warming on the earth millions of years ago, and which we are still feeling the effects of today.

Climate change activists welcomed the new findings and are now spearheading a protest to ban dinosaur farts from the atmosphere.

Draghi: “Your Bank Account is Mine Now”

Glen Fiddick
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Draghi: “Your Bank Account is Mine Now”

Europe’s economy is in serious dire straits, and this is why Mario Draghi has dropped interest rates to negative.

“If I put in one euro in my bank account, when I go to take it out next week, I will only have 15 cents left. That’s what negative interest rates mean,” an angry German saver from Düsseldorf revealed today.

Negative interest rates are a drastic measure that shows that policymakers are afraid that Europe is at risk of falling into a deflationary spiral. In harsh economic times, people and businesses tend to hold on to their cash while they wait for the economy to improve. But this behaviour can weaken the economy further, as a lack of spending causes further job losses, lowers profits, and reinforces people’s fears, giving them even more incentive to hoard.

As spending slows, prices drop creating another incentive for people to wait as prices fall further.

This is precisely the deflationary spiral that European policymakers are trying to avoid with negative interest rates. By charging European banks to hold reserves at the central bank, they hope to encourage banks to lend more.

Mario Draghi, the ECB boss warned that rates of minus 0.5pc combined with €20bn of quantitative easing a month might not be enough to battle the downturn.

The EUR/USD see-sawed violently on the news and affected all other Forex pairs with the violent movement.

One trader who was having a cup of coffee in front of his terminal at the time of the announcement yesterday wants to bill Mario Draghi for a new keyboard, pc, and desk.

“I was sitting at my desk sipping my coffee watching the secretary bending over a desk to pick up a file, when the market suddenly lurched down by so many pips I lost count, then it rose up again in a millisecond, then all the way down again. My coffee flew over my terminal and at that point sparks and smoke turned into fire. Not only did I lose over $10,000 in less than a minute, I lost my pc and everything else. Remember kids always use a stop loss.”

Tory EU Plotters All Promised Lucrative Positions in European Union to Stop Brexit

Glen Fiddick
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Tory EU Plotters All Promised Lucrative Positions in European Union to Stop Brexit

The extent of EU infiltration into Britain’s parliament is astounding, the worst part of this evil debacle is that these Europhile MPs are driven by pure greed, and do not care that they are destroying Britain’s democracy.

Whilst Tony Blair and Peter Mandelson are all on the EU roster, with weekly meetings in Brussels, they work on thwarting Brexit from outside parliament, whereas the Tory Remainer rebel MPs are working from the inside of Westminster.

“These people will most probably be offered lucrative positions in the EU after Brexit is stopped. They are already sweetened with little incentives, but their EU masters are offering them great riches on the EU gravy train. We’re talking about unlimited expenses, huge pension plans, and immense salaries that make the British MP salary look like tuck shop money,” an EU insider revealed.

The plan is to halt the EU Referendum result of 2016 any way possible, and the rogue MPs who thwart the democratic process the best will gain the largest prizes from their EU overlords.

“When it comes to this sort of power and money these people will destroy democracy in Britain and sell out their country to their foreign masters. Everything to them is about money, they would happily sell their children to Chinese laboratories for money. This is the type of people we are talking about, and these Remainers, whether Tory, Lib Dem, or Labour are cut from the same cloth of pure greed,” the EU insider added.

What can a regular commissioner in the EU expect to get in perks?

Monthly salary of 45,000+ euros, unlimited expense account, luxury international first class flights, 5 star hotels, first class medical service, expenses for entertaining, daily massages, chauffeur driven to every destination, all private school fees paid, staff budgets can be paid all to yourself, and a full pension plan amounting to millions of euros. That is a brief list of some perks, but the list goes on.

There is no wonder that these Tory Remainer rebels and the Speaker of the House will do anything to thwart Brexit, because money talks in the end, and these slime bags are willing to sell out their own country and democracy to stop Brexit completely.

 

Knife to See You, to See You, Knife!

Glen Fiddick
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Knife to See You, to See You, Knife!

No, it’s not a Brucey Bonus this time but a twelve-inch kitchen knife pushed deep into your liver by some South London thug zoned out on skunk who just did not like the way you looked that day. The excruciating electric pain sears through your body as the thug laughs out loud repeatedly stabbing your convulsing body multiple times, your hot steaming blood spurts wildly over the bus stop poster of London’s Mayor Sadiq Khan. The last thing you see before you lose consciousness forever is the leering face of Khan on the poster, the words read ‘Making London Safer’.

Since Sadiq Khan became the Labour Mayor of London, crime has rocketed across the capital. Not a day goes by without headlines of bloodbaths across the London boroughs, the Mayor has done nothing for this city as he sits in his ivory tower picking between his dirty toes with his bare fingers whilst eating takeaway curries.

sadiq
“Yes, another brutal knife murder, how wonderful!”

“Our streets are filled with fear, we’ve got moped gangs, knife gangs, drug gangs, all mainly Afro-Caribbean and these animals are merciless, high on skunk weed and crack they literally tear people apart with their knives, absolute savage attacks that can come out of nowhere. One minute you go to your local shop to buy a pint of milk, next minute you’ve got a knife deep in your stomach. Who wants to live like that? All because it is politically incorrect and racist to search these fucking thugs,” one terrified resident of Tower Hamlets, South London revealed.

The buses are not safe, the trains are not safe, the schools are not safe, pretty much everywhere is not safe now. Gone are the days when children could play in the streets, a distant memory for a different generation.

 

Sadiq Khan constantly brings up the ridiculous argument that the crime rise is because the Tories have shut down the youth centres.

“When I was a kid I never had a youth centre, never even knew what they were. I never had a reason to go and join a gang and commit atrocious acts of violence. There are millions of young people across the country today who do not have a youth centre, and they’re perfectly okay about it. For Sadiq Khan to say that youth centres would stop the stabbing is ridiculous, in fact they probably encourage crime in urban areas because they are a place where these thugs can get together and plot their next crimes whilst playing snooker, or smoking crack, or dealing drugs in the cafe,” Arthur Tibbold, 52, from South London told the Evening Standard.

Meanwhile, citizens across the sprawling metropolis of London live in abject fear every day of their lives. No one listens to them, there are little or no police and if you call, no one comes for hours. This is London today, a place where the pavements are not paved with gold, but the blood and stripped flesh of victims, carved up like a Sunday dinner, then forgotten to rot in eternal silence.

Why Political Satire Is Becoming More Important

Glen Fiddick
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Why Political Satire Is Becoming More Important

Politics and humour have been in a complicated relationship for years. Everyone loves a good laugh, except the people being joked about. Politicians amaze people daily with their announcements and the way things are going satire is going to become an integral part of politics. Why? Simply because we have political figures like Donald Trump and Boris Johnson that never cease to intrigue us.

Brexit has been the most talked about topic in British and European politics. It is a serious issue that has been going on for some time but the way the UK has been handling it has resulted in a series of satirical tweets and articles.

Satire increases people’s access to all types of political news. Many media sources paint political events like drama series whereas political satire takes a more direct and impartial approach. Taking sides is just making it worse. In a way, satire makes people watch the news more.

Satirists all over the world must keep track of current political events, so they can have material for their shows. By making fun out of something they keep their audience informed and laughing.

If you boil it down, political satire is like the public opinion of any online casino – it’s bad until the person that stated that opinion wins some money. Satire sparks independence and a healthy dose of scepticism. Politicians and political parties always have a secret agenda that they’re trying to implement and it’s the duty of satirists and comedians, in general, to expose this agenda. If you were to watch any satirical show or read any satirical article you would find out just how tough reality is.

No matter where you’re from political satire serves as a measure for the sad state of affairs and when it comes to the US and the UK it’s a sad one because the whole world’s laughing at them. Even their fellow countrymen are making fun of them which is a sign that something they’re doing is wrong. Maybe they know that and just don’t care since every publicity is good publicity even if people are laughing on your behalf.

All in all, people like a little bit of controversy once in a while. It keeps things fresh and keeps them wondering how some people got certain jobs. Political leaders are becoming more and more controversial every day, so we will see a lot of Trumps and Borises in the future. In a way, they’re the first of many to follow. Parallel to them, many satirists will follow their statements and rack up the material to make the people laugh and develop an opinion on their own.

After all, the point of making fun of the bad things is supposed to bring you wisdom so as not to repeat mistakes from the past and, at the same time joy, because when you look back on them you’ll surely laugh.

Drunk Bampot Scottish Court Not Fit For Purpose

Glen Fiddick
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Drunk Bampot Scottish Court Not Fit For Purpose

Insane biased judges in a banana-Republic anti-English Scottish court have deemed the legal prorogation of the English parliament as unlawful in Scotland.

Scottish law which thankfully does not apply in England and Wales, is not justified to pass judgement on the English parliament let alone English law.

The parliamentary prorogue has been judged perfectly legal in England and Wales by the High Court.

Biased Judicial Interference

“It is under th’ rulin’ ay thes Scottish coort ‘at Boris Johnson shaa be huckled an’ brooght tae Scootlund tae hae a Glasgee kiss ye glaikit Sassenach bastards. Hic! Sumcunt pass me dat brew!” a visibly drunk Judge McFartle said after the ridiculous judgement.

Meanwhile, in Number 10, one could only hear laughter.

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