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Trump: “Now I Want to Buy Somalia”

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - After failing in his bid to buy Greenland, President Trump has turned his sights on Somalia.

After the Greenland sale fell through, nixed by that ‘nasty’ Danish PM, the President of the United States has opted for Somalia.

“There’s a lot of things we can do to clean up that place, okay it’s a shithole where that squad member comes from, what’s her name, the terrorist? We have a fantastic opportunity to build golf courses, hotels and beach houses,” Mr. Trump said on Thursday.

But what about the pirates and lawlessness?

“Ah, I didn’t say we are gonna buy the place with the people on there. First we gotta clean it out, look, this is a fantastic real estate opportunity, all we gotta do is replace the population there with decent Christian folk who like golf, Jesus and club sandwiches.”

The president paused for a moment, burping into his hand.

“As for the price, I looked into that, it ain’t gonna be cheap. We need to buy a lotta bombs, and ammo to clear the ground, but in the end it will be worth it. You’ll see folks, you’ll see.”

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