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Elon Musk Had Twins With a Neuralink Executive

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Elon Musk Had Twins With a Neuralink Executive

Elon Musk, the Tesla and SpaceX CEO and world’s richest man, welcomed twins last year with an executive at one of his other companies, Neuralink, reported on Wednesday.

Musk, who posted a tweet on May 24 saying “USA birth rate has been below min sustainable levels for ~50 years” and pinned it to the top of his more than 100 million-follower Twitter account, quietly fathered the children with X3432 N-342, who works for Musk at the company which hopes to develop an implantable computer chip for the human brain.

The Musk neuralink twins can already communicate in 300 languages and even fly a Huey helicopter despite only being 6 months old.

One twin is called X10109-b and the other is lovingly named X111010-c.

BoJo Finally Resigns

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BoJo Finally Resigns

According to sources, a resignation letter was drafted for Boris Johnson and he was forced to sign it.

On your marks! Go! The leadership race is on and suddenly “integrity” will vanish, and things will go back to the norm.

As per usual, the media will go on with their usual eulogies about Boris.

The knives embedded deep in his back will hurt for a while, and his wife Carrie must now be thinking about wallpaper removal techniques to rescue those very, very expensive rolls on the Number 10 flat’s walls.

The coup was a great success, and the integrity has been blinding…ouch!

Now They Are Threatening to Bring In Theresa May Again

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Now They Are Threatening to Bring In Theresa May Again

That’s like putting salt on an open wound, or using nettles as a plaster for a cut.

“Theresa May is “uniquely placed” to step up as the interim Prime Minister should Boris Johnson resign, according to reports.”

Boris has just been forced to sign a resignation letter thrown in front of him.

The end is nigh, and it is only going to get a lot worse when the dead fish, Theresa May becomes interim PM.

The Remainers must be whooping in the corridors.

The Year 2022 When Parliament Finally Discovered “Integrity”

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The Year 2022 When Parliament Finally Discovered “Integrity”

2022, will go down in the history books and talked about by historians for centuries to come because it was the year that the Houses of Parliament finally discovered the concept of “integrity”.

Historian, Professor Lior Fibbs, from Cambridge University, was excited by the new finding.

“Absolutely incredible, it has taken centuries of lying, backstabbing, cheating, dishonesty, immorality and downright evil Machiavellianism to finally come to some form of ‘integrity’ and ‘honesty’. Centuries from now, historians will look at the year 2022 when members of parliament finally found the benefits of honesty and truth.”

The momentous event where integrity was discovered occurred during the ousting process of Prime Minister Boris Johnson. All of a sudden, ministers who in the past were immoral, indecent, depraved, unethical and downright dishonest found integrity when citing their displeasure with the wayward PM.

“I have integrity now, and the filthy dishonest PM does not. As soon as he is ousted though, somehow my integrity will disappear and I shall get back to immorality, lying and cheating,” one MP who resigned to destabilise Boris’ government quipped before slinking into the darkness.

Another MP who resigned revealed: “This integrity lark is hard work. I don’t know how much longer I can handle it before I crack?”

Why Boris is Holding On Despite Resignations

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Why Boris is Holding On Despite Resignations

We have lost count on the number of resignations so far from Boris’ crumbling government, however there is a very good reason for the PM to hold on.

Who are you to tell me to resign? Mass ministerial resignations like this are similar to an internet mob on Twitter or some other horrid platform wanting to cancel somebody or thing.

In these heady days of cancel culture, the ministerial mob are acting like bullies themselves.

The way Boris sees it, it is HIS god-given right to rule, mandated by that large majority he won during the last election. Conversely one could argue that Boris squandered that election win and through his apathetic actions shit in his own shoes but that is neither here nor there.

Never underestimate the tenacity and will to survive, despite all setbacks, when coming from a dog eat dog Lord of the Flies public school background where daily atrocities were simply scoffed at and if you did not fight, you would literally be stamped, reputation and all, into the ground.

As Boris sees it, he may be deluded in his fervour to ‘carry on’ but he won’t take orders from underlings or oiks.

Furthermore, there are options, and he is looking into those right now.

Ministers: SAS Could Be Sent in to Extricate Boris

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Ministers: SAS Could Be Sent in to Extricate Boris

Desperate parliamentarians are in contact with SAS commanders in Hereford who may send in the regiment to extricate Boris Johnson who is refusing to leave Number 10 Downing Street.

After 43 MPs resigned from government and Michael Gove just got sacked, things are getting desperate.

“It’s like the Iranian embassy siege in 1980. Maggie sent the SAS boys in to clean the place out. This time, it’s a bloody prime minister who has taken Number 10 hostage,” one senior MP revealed.

BoJo lost his mojo and now has barricaded himself in Number 10. Time for the Hereford lads to escort the deluded Boris from fantasy to reality.

 

 

There is Nothing to See Here. Please Disperse!

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There is Nothing to See Here. Please Disperse!

35, 43, 56 Tory MPs resign from Boris Johnson’s government. How many is too many?

It’s just another day in Downing Street with Boris Johnson, there is nothing to see here as the blood splatters Carrie’s expensive wallpaper.

Let us have some perspective, er…

Glug, glug, glug!

BBC Urging MPs to Resign Live on TV

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BBC Urging MPs to Resign Live on TV

One would say that supposedly unbiased auntie was being a bit naughty by meddling in political games against the government however there is no doubt that the BBC urging MPs to resign live on TV is possibly contravening some sort of regulation.

The BBC text sent to MPs: “I appreciate you may well be staying in place but if you are planning on resigning we’d be very keen to get an interview with you – a resignation live on air would be even better. Please do let me know in confidence if that’s something you’d consider.”

The BBC is known as the fifth arm of the Labour Party and is clearly meddling in political games to reinforce its bias as well as increase its viewers.

End of the Line For the Greased Roasted Piglet Boris?

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End of the Line For the Greased Roasted Piglet Boris?

There comes a moment when it’s time for slaughter, and unfortunately Boris Johnson is next on the line for the chop. Amongst the myriad of resignations from his government, kudos must be given to the PM for barricading the gates as the backstabbers line up to plunge the carving knife into him.

Now that the Tory government is imploding, Britain’s enemies are licking their lips to feast on the Boris corpse, roasted and glazed to perfection. Labour are now readying for a general election to push their favourite Soviet comrade Keir Starmer. Labour will only bring more chaos, economic bankruptcy and pain with their frivolous socialist spending sprees — that is — until all the money runs out once again.

How much roasting the little piglet gets is of course up to the rebel backbenchers and Cabinet ministers waiting to plunge their own knives in once the final deed is committed?

Boris’ demise is thus planned for either today, Thursday or Friday. The bell tolls and the knives are all out, being sharpened for the final carving.

 

Cabinet Resignations: Goodbye Sunak and Javid!

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Cabinet Resignations: Goodbye Sunak and Javid!

Thank god for that, the dead wood are ejecting themselves voluntarily from the Cabinet. Sajid Javid and Rishi Sunak have left the Boris government.

A pinch too far

Rishi Sunak has left the Treasury and the British economy in a fucking dire mess. Don’t know what Sajid Javid did apart from wax his bald head every day — they used to call him the spit shine kid?

As for lying? Who tells the truth to snakes? If you don’t lie in parliament — you die.

All Boris has to do now is keep the assorted brutes, remoaners, backstabbers, plotters, EU agents, civil servant remoaners, and rest of the fuckers down for a while, so he can regroup.

Last chance saloon for Boris? Labour are getting ready to pounce. Meanwhile, the unelected EU Commission members are rubbing their hands with glee.

 

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