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What Happened to Europe?

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The continent of Europe used to be a myriad of individualistic nations, all with their own individual cultures, dialects, languages and lives. Yes, they still have some semblance of their past national identities, but it is being eroded daily by the EU machinery of soviet collectivist amalgamation.

The EU does not want individual sovereign states, it wants one single entity, one sole state of European Union. To achieve this the unelected technocrats within the EU Politburo, the EU Commission, are stripping nations of not only their identity but of their right to make their own decisions economically and politically.

Due to the Schengen zone many parts of Europe are now almost unrecognisable. Boulevards once teaming with well groomed jolly citizens are now in parts tent cities where ethnic violent clashes occur sporadically.

One used to feel excited about going to Europe but now everything is homogenised, everything is the same. The same shops, the same people and the same EU flag everywhere. European nations have been robbed and stripped of their national spirit, their money unceremoniously repatriated into areas they have no say in.

To erase the past is the function of the EU, which means national identity and culture of nations are eviscerated, ultimately destroyed.

There is no going back once this EU function is enabled, and much like the former Soviet Union entire nations within the union had their individual national characters almost completely devitalised.

The EU is destroying Europe. The EU is an un-democratic soviet collectivist state which is destroying the sovereignty of nations within the bloc.

 

Bad Breath May Have Caused Tory Debate Presenter to Faint

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The TalkTV Tory debate, hosted by former Sky journalist Kate McCann, abruptly halted around halfway through after a loud crash was heard.

TalkTV said McCann was “fine” but investigators think a bout of severe halitosis may have sent McCann crashing to the floor.

“We are not pointing any fingers at any of the candidates during the debate, but Rishi Sunak was seen before the debate tucking into a large Indian garlic dish of some sort,” the channel added.

Thank god Kate McCann is okay…

“Ah, the adorable Kate McCann, she is as delicate as a flower with an excruciatingly thin looking neck. To her credit, she does have an almost encyclopedic political brain that can recount anything that happened in parliament from 1998 to present. Kate, however, never had the deep sexiness of Sophie Ridge though, her well toned legs tentatively teasing under her news desk or that slight husky tone to her voice. Sunday with Sophie Ridge on Sky is a dream most would drag their bollocks over two miles of glass to even get a whiff of her delicately perfumed skyjina. As for Sarah Jane Mee, it’s more like ‘meh’. Lest we forget the gargantuan sometimes cutting tones of Beth Rigby, who maybe twenty years ago was a goer but today a bit of a mower,” one viewer commented.

You Don’t Like the Prices? Stop Fucking Spending Money

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In a mass consumerist consumption society people are programmed from birth to death to spend their money on useless shit. You are not only conditioned to be a tax slave but a spender; a cash cow consumer in a consumerist farm.

Can you break out of your programming to spend your money on useless tat that you accumulate over the period of your life? Well, in times of serious hyperinflation engineered to squeeze the consumer, you can overcome the indoctrination by simply not spending anymore money than is necessary for basic survival.

Because of the punishing system that was created to profit off your pitiful life’s labour as a tax cow consumerist worker bee, it will be initially painful for you to extricate yourself, but with some focused application and considered will power as well as knowledge one can push through the programming.

It’s quite easy really. STOP BUYING SHIT!

If everyone stopped buying stuff they don’t really need, then things would definitely change. Stop going to the cinema, stop paying for overpriced package holidays, stop shopping for crap. Take away their power to profit off you, and only then will they listen.

However, not spending money on shit does not mean you should not be a Squib patron. Remember, your patronage will be for a good cause, the cause of this wonderful site staying up to annoy people everywhere. Plus…you get some great goodies too if you join.

Digital Inspiration From Cannes

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As a source of inspiration Cannes is almost too rich – it can take weeks to absorb and unpack everything you saw and heard. The sheer volume of award-winning work is overwhelming. Nevertheless, we decided to round up a handful of digital pieces that appealed directly to us. Not necessarily all Gold winners, but projects that captured our imagination.

The first was a big winner, however. “Long Live the Prince” from Engine UK won the Titanium Grand Prix. We’ve written about it before, but there’s no escaping its emotional power. A schoolboy soccer prodigy who was killed aged 15 in a senseless act of knife violence is magically returned to life 15 years on, so we can find out what his life might have been.

Staying in the Titanium category for a moment, here’s a fun but useful project from Ogilvy India. How do you get the world’s biggest movie star to advertise thousands of small businesses around the country? With a dash of AI open-source wizardry that allowed anyone to tap into his charisma – all thanks to Cadbury.

There were many worthy winners in the Digital Craft category. We’re big fans of “DojaCode” from Mojo Supermarket in New York, which won a Silver. The campaign encourages girls to learn how to code, by tapping directly into pop culture and revealing the first ever “code-able” music video.

Meanwhile, “Audiotorial”, from RGA in London, brought Google together with The Guardian newspaper in a project for the Royal National Institute of Blind People. What does using the internet feel like for blind and partially-sighted people? And how could it be adapted to their needs? The project is both a solution and an awareness-raising campaign.

Another fascinating project is the Black Elevation Map, for the travel brand Black & Abroad, which won a Creative Data Gold. It uses data visualization to create a map that highlights important locations of Black culture, from historic sites to Black-owned business, restaurants and galleries. It includes 12 city guides and 10 national guides. The film for the project is simply a joy to watch.

There’s no question that the creative use of data is changing travel. For one thing, it can draw our attention to sites or towns that we might have missed, by targeting us through GPS and social media. The idea below has a social benefit, too, as it encourages drivers to take a rest on long journeys. And we mean long – the campaign hails from Australia.

Difficult to do a round-up of striking creative work without including Burger King at some point, so let’s finish with the “Burger Glitch” from Ogilvy Worldwide. The case film is a celebrity-packed treat – and you’ll also hear the word of the year at Cannes: “metaverse”.

Of course there were many more winners, and we urge you to browse our showcase. It was good to be back “live” in Cannes. See you next year.

Jarvis Cocker’s Back “I Need the Money”

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Everybody loves the Jarvis, and guffy moments at the Brit Awards wafting farts around at Michael Jackson’s pomposity, are 90s moments to cherish. Shoe gazing at Outsider Art festivals obviously doesn’t pay, and sooner or later the royalties dry up.

The 90s were the years before the internet really took off, and the last vestiges of the old music biz model with it. Once music became a throwaway mp3 that could be downloaded for free and not distributed by controlled channels for record companies, then the entire business model fell through the floor.

We can’t begrudge 90s acts like Jarvis Cocker’s Pulp doing a reunion run of festivals or whatever to refresh memories of the one’s who were there, and maybe convert some millennials to their music.

Between a choice of some awful autotuned template crap song around today sung by some automaton with zero character and Pulp we will take the latter any day.

The music biz today is just run by robots and the music is thus performed by programmed bots who have zero talent in any way.

Bring back the 90s.

IPCC: Vegans Contributing to Anthropogenic Global Warming

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In a shock IPCC Special Report, senior scientist Professor Gunta Koff explained that a vegan diet, with its increased fibre content and reduced amino acid breakdown processes, results in a higher than average methane production in humans.

“Of course we all know that herbivores, most commonly cattle, produce a significant amount of methane as a result of their breakdown of cellulose … but the vegan diet has become a serious threat to our climate with humans now on a par with cattle in terms of methane release” Dr Koff stated.

“My team started noticing increased atmospheric methane several years ago and correlated it with the increase in vegetarianism. Most recently, in collaborative work with the US Dept of Health, we recognized that a severe up tick in methane, in the past 2 years, was directly proportional to the increased popularity of veganism” Dr Koff elaborated.

The US Department of Environment, Washington, alongside the Institute for Dioxin Isotope and Ozone Treatment (IDIOT), has suggested some controversial means for reducing methane release:

1. Encouraging cannibalism amongst cattle and hoofed animals … farmers should offer livestock juicy steaks as an alternative to animal feed, thereby reducing cellulose intake.

2. Surgically attaching gas collection devices (aka fart bags) to cattle and, more controversially, those less mobile human beings, such as the elderly and infirmed, selling the flammable gas on to the National Grid.

A spokesperson from Vegans Unite countered, “this is a load of hot air from the IPCC…this unsubstantiated claim will blow over soon.”

Tory Leadership Debate: Sunak Tried to Give Everyone in Studio £500 Each

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Mega rich former Chancellor of the Exchequer Rishi Sunak was seriously flashing the cash before the Tory leadership debate last night.

One of the cameramen working in the filming studio was disgusted at his arrogant attitude.

“We thought it was a bit odd when he walked in with four young Asian boys who were carrying a very heavy suitcase. Sunak then ordered the boys to unlock it. He scrambled around inside for a moment, then started taking out stacks of cash. Going around the studio in a clockwise direction, he was handing out wads of money to everyone. Even the bloody cleaner got a stack.”

The key grip refused to take the cash from Sunak so he gave the floor manager an extra wad of notes. Audience members present at the debate seemed very appreciative of the Sunak cash gifts.

Liz Truss, who was Sunak’s opponent, was also offered the cash with a wink and a nod but refused.

According to polls after the debate, Rishi Sunak won the debate.

Newly Unveiled Russian Army ZZ Insignia Resembles Waffen SS

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Vladimir Putin today unveiled the latest Z insignia for the Russian army, and hopes it will invigorate his troops to commit more atrocities in Ukraine and beyond.

“As I have mentioned in the past, Russia has no borders. Mother Russia will soon extend across the entirety of Europe and from there we will conquer the entire world. No one can stop us. Our new Russian army insignia will make our troops fight harder and more efficiently to ensure complete destruction of our enemies,” Putin said at a conference in Nizhny Novgorod, to great applause.

z russian army

The Z symbol has been plastered all over tanks and other military vehicles during the illegal Ukraine invasion.

Military historians however have questioned the new Russian army Z insignia, and have compared it to the Nazi SS Waffen insignia.

“There seems to be an immense similarity between the new Russian Z insignia’s symbolism and the German Schutzstaffel, Waffen SS insignia. The similarity does not end in the symbolism however, it seems Russian troops are imitating the kind of atrocities committed by Adolf Hitler’s SS on the battlefield and on unarmed civilians. Whether it is intentional or not, Vladimir Putin and his commanders as well as troops should be tried and convicted for war crimes,” historian Dr Reynold Treblink, revealed in the Telegraph.

The Russians seem to have forgotten what happened in World War II. Conversely, the Russians rather ironically have adopted the exact terror techniques of one of their greatest adversaries — the Nazis.

Dark Matter is Truly Dark and Hard to See in Space Scientist Discovers

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Hugh Trino, senior scientist at CERN emphasised that recent studies on Dark Matter have been very revealing … upon scrutiny of over 20 years of data no dark matter has ever been found.

“Not finding Dark Matter is precisely what we expected, it vindicates our search for it … we told you it was dark. Dr Trino continues “… its an optical quirk you see … if space itself was not so black we would see dark matter everywhere … and that’s science fact.”

“Our next experiment involves manufacturing the world’s most expensive flashlight … an instrument we call the Total Illumination Transitory Spectrometer (TITS) … something our scientists here at CERN cannot stop thinking about. This will allow us to illuminate the distant edge of our Universe and will make Dark Matter more visible. TITS’ images will be revealed to the public in early 2023 and will raise a few eyebrows in the particle physics community for sure.”

Political Satire: Daily Squib Podcast Announcement

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Dear Squibbers and anyone who is interested in any way in satire, as the editor of this curious newspaper I have decided to publish a weekly podcast.

Check it out here

The podcast will include select Squib articles, exclusive music compositions, live unedited musical jams and interviews.

If you ever wanted to know what I sound like, well this is your chance.

Making a podcast is certainly a challenge, amongst all my other duties for the Squib. I now fully respect radio DJs, engineers and even YouTubers (yuck, can’t believe I wrote that). To record relatively professional vocals is certainly a challenge, as I am more used to guitars. At the moment, I am making do with the equipment I have, but in the future if things go well, I may be able to upgrade some of my ageing gear.

Anyway, please join me every week, and all are welcome to join the discussion.

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