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Obese Giraffes Stampede Encampment Killing 20 Tourists

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“I was cooking some burgers for our dinner on the fire pit when out of the darkness came a large stampede sound. Some of our tents were squashed completely, including, sadly, their inhabitants. It was those bloody obese giraffes, and this time the blighters had gone too far, we need to put them on a bloody diet again!” Tjaart Van Schalkwyk, the camp’s chef, recounted of the incident on Friday.

According to the Serengeti Times, the obese giraffes smelled the burgers from over a mile away and as they are addicted to junk food, thought it was feeding time.

“We blame the American safari tourists who come here and bring all this nasty junk food for the giraffes. We have one herd now who are all seriously obese. They cannot even mate anymore on land and have to do it in the river, where some get taken by crocs,” park ranger, Ngumu Mandingo, told reporters.

The tourist encampment near the N’gong Rocks, and the Grumeti River where holidayers paid over $4,500 per night to stay, was today in complete ruins. Many of the tents were squashed or ripped apart. One of the obese giraffes stepped on a porter’s foot during the stampede, and practically flattened it. Many tourists, mostly Americans perished in their tents, one couple having an illicit affair were in the middle of having wild sex when a giraffe tripped on a rope squashing the pair in flagrante. Later on, their spouses had to identify the bodies.

Serengeti Park chiefs are currently discussing a diet plan for the obese giraffes, and are even considering banning American tourists to the park for a while until the giraffes lose some weight.

“We had one tour where each American tourist had literally buckets of KFC, they even brought Twinkies and all sorts of junk to feed the giraffes,” a Serengeti Park spokesman revealed on Friday.

Walmart to Build Store On Georgia Guidestone Site

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What better way to prove that overpopulation and disgusting levels of needless consumerism have bulldozed over the edicts of the people who built the Georgia Guidestone structure in 1980, by having those very monuments desecrated by religious zealots and a big fucking Walmart store built over the ruins.

Overpopulation won in the end as far as the Georgia Guidestones were concerned. Now you will get obese consumers in their shopping carts all waddling through the Walmart store buying crap they do not need, invariably made in China in some toxic communist slave colony where workers are paid next to nothing and regularly jump out of tenth floor windows in total desperation.

 

The inscription on the Georgia Guidestones were translated in eight different languages and read:

  1. Maintain humanity under 500,000,000 in perpetual balance with nature.
  2. Guide reproduction wisely – improving fitness and diversity.
  3. Unite humanity with a living new language.
  4. Rule passion – faith – tradition – and all things with tempered reason.
  5. Protect people and nations with fair laws and just courts.
  6. Let all nations rule internally resolving external disputes in a world court.
  7. Avoid petty laws and useless officials.
  8. Balance personal rights with social duties.
  9. Prize truth – beauty – love – seeking harmony with the infinite.
  10. Be not a cancer on the Earth – Leave room for nature – Leave room for nature.

Unfortunately, because the Georgia Guidestone site was blown up in 2022, all the ten points on the pieces of granite have now been lost forever floating in the ether of disappointment and utter tragic loss. The human race is thus doomed to the terrible disease of perpetual and exponential increases in population. This is why vast stores like Walmart are the epitome of overpopulation, and feed the virus incessantly.

Overpopulation only creates utter misery for humanity, poverty, loss of environment, war, terrorism, and an inevitable fight for the last finite resources on earth. Polluted, overpopulated nations like China/India and the USA, along with a rogue Russian nation, will now have to fight for earth’s last resources. This is why overpopulation will lead to a global war that will resonate everywhere.

Ironically, it will be the awful result of overpopulation leading to global war that will possibly cure the very problem itself. Global war, pestilence, disease and economic hardship will reduce the population of the earth drastically, however even that may not be enough because unfettered human breeding, like fruit flies, would mean the population of the earth rises even after total conflict.

To ensure this does not happen again, that this Malthusian nightmare never occurs again, the global authority after the massive global war will have to control population with a controlled breeding program. It is only by strict controls that the population of the earth can be maintained at a sustainable level in tune with nature, which will need decades and centuries to recover the terrible plundering of the earth by previous reckless generations.

Climate change activists are deluded fucking idiots and liars because they are not protesting about overpopulation but ‘climate’. That is totally disingenuous and is totally cowardly. What these people are protesting in reality is ‘overpopulation’ by humans, but they are too cowardly to admit what they are doing. Not only are they deluding themselves, but they are deluding other less intelligent lemmings who follow their fake protests blindly.

The overall consensus therefore does not look too good, but let us stipulate one fine point — nature always finds a way. In this sense, nature is a powerful beast and can shake off most of the human pestilence in one fell swoop, all she has to do is find that one little thing that will do the job, or maybe there could be multiple events occurring simultaneously, ultimately it is the prerogative of nature itself to cleanse itself from disease and not some fucking entitled human fuckwit who has been on this earth for 0.0001 millisecond of earth time.

A positive outcome after the global conflict would be that no Walmart exists ever again.

“I Really Enjoyed the Notting Hill Carnival Despite Being Stabbed Eight Times”

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Local resident of Notting Hill, John Smith, 32, a Labour counsellor, recounted his experience at this year’s Notting Hill Carnival after being stabbed eight times and left for dead.

“As a champagne socialist and bleeding heart liberal slash Marxist, I actually enjoyed being stabbed multiple times. I usually virtue-signal at any opportunity, and this was a good time to champion the thug who plunged the zombie knife deep into my intestines and liver. I was revelling in the meaningful ‘inclusive’ cultural exchange as copious amounts of my blood spurted out of the stab wounds.”

Mr. Smith added that he was totally in tune with the poverty and debasement of the Jamaican born individual who butchered him.

“It’s not their fault, many cannot even read or write. I totally blame the Tory education systems because they do not take these people by the hand and give them things for doing nothing, they expect pupils to actually make an effort. At one point, my liver was hanging out of the stab wound, so I calmly pushed it back in so that no one would trip on it. After the stabbing stopped, I thanked the man for coming to our country and integrating into British culture. He then stabbed me in the groin for good measure. I thanked him for that as well.”

Mr. Smith is lucky to be alive, and will never walk again. His wounds were so severe that he will have to use a catheter to urinate for the rest of his life because his genitals were severed from his body. Despite this set back, Mr. Smith praised his attacker.

“If we were living in a socialist Labour utopia where money somehow grows on trees, and everyone is magically equal and happy, this young man would not be so angry. I really see his point because people tell him he has to work for a living and study for a good education, but because he can’t be bothered to work or study and is into drug dealing and part of a gang of murderous thugs he only knows violence as a way of communication. I have petitioned the council to give him more benefits, so he can buy more drugs and continue just being who he is. It’s not his fault, *cough* it….is….eurgh!”

At that point, unfortunately, Mr. Smith suffered from multiple organ failure and died gurgling about how great socialism and wokism is for society.

This year at the Notting Hill Carnival, only 87 people were stabbed, and only 35 people died, compared to previous years, it was a picnic.

Residents Cheer as Anti-ULEZ Heroes Take Down CCTV Cameras

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Robinson Close residents now in the much-hated ULEZ Zone cheered as another camera for the evil scheme was destroyed. The punitive anti-democratic scheme where every car is tracked and many will be forced to pay £12.50 per day simply to use their cars, is the creation of Labour London Mayor, Sadiq Khan, otherwise known as a slimy slug.

TYRANNY OF CAMERAS

All over London these inhibitive cameras are now being destroyed, and it is all thanks to the heroes in balaclavas roaming the streets.

It is quite easy to destroy or incapacitate these ULEZ cameras, and the people who are doing the good deeds are very secretive about their operations.

Called the ‘Bladerunners’ the crew are taking out over 30 cameras a night, and every day more are joining up.

Sadiq Khan tried to even shut up scientists who revealed that the ULEZ enforcement zone will have little or no effect on ‘air quality’.

The real reason for the cameras which will be announced in a year or so is that they will be used as a ‘pay-per-mile‘ scheme which will make all motorists pay for their journeys by the mile, as well as having their vehicles tracked wherever they go. The so-called ‘air quality’ lie is being pushed forward first, as it will have support from climate activists. The cameras are made in China and can be accessed by Chinese Intelligence officers and hackers.

No one voted for this Nazi spy system that will put a lot of people out of work and business.

Burisma? Joe and Hunter Biden Deny Everything

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“We don’t know what Burisma is, or where Ukraine is. Hang on, is Ukraine a country? We never took money from that gas company for getting a prosecutor who we never heard of fired. We are not living in mansions paid for by those bribes we never received. When I was a mere senator, I somehow acquired 5-10 massive mansions across the country on my paltry government salary. Joe and Hunter Biden do not or have ever existed, plus we did nothing wrong. I do not exist and have never existed in this time and space,” Joe Biden told reporters from one of his massive mansions.

As for Hunter Biden, he has no recollection of Burisma or Ukraine either.

“I was on crack cocaine, and stuck deep in the cracks of those underage prostitutes trafficked in from Eastern Europe, which I also do not know anything about. I have no recollection of someone called the Big Guy who I gave 20% to in my notes which I never made but were found in my lost laptop. I know nothing of Burisma and have never travelled to Ukraine. Is that a place in New Jersey? I have no knowledge of anything or have ever done anything in my life. The FBI, CIA and all government departments that are now fully under the control of the Democrat Party can back me up. I am not here, I do not exist.”

Suppression of the truth at all costs

Nothing to see here, Joe and Hunter Biden never saw or did anything like that stuff. It will all be covered up by the respective Democrat Party State departments, social media Big Tech and weaponised agencies.

Woke Producer Kathleen Kennedy Transitioning to be a Man

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After ruining many film franchises with her woke anti-male bias, Hollywood producer Kathleen Kennedy has allegedly decided that she will be transitioning to be a man.

Speaking on CBS News, the woke producer told viewers that the time had finally come to disclose who she really was.

“I have been producing woke films that denigrate men and show the superiority of women. I want to go one up on this by today disclosing that I am transitioning to be a man, because this will make me better than men and women. We all know women are superior to men in every way, but being a man will truly make me superior to all men, for sure.”

When asked about the transition period, Kennedy revealed that she is shopping around at the moment for a prosthetic todger, and wants one big enough to mirror her position as a superior being.

“I’m following in the footsteps of Michelle Obama. Joan Rivers told me all about it. I’m still shopping around, though.”

The surgery involved to transition from female to male can be a bit irksome, but thankfully is not as invasive as transitioning to be male from female.

Doctor Lewis Teattese, of the Beverly Hills Trans Clinic, revealed that Kathleen Kennedy was indeed in his books and was scheduled for surgery on Tuesday.

 

Experts Disclose What Paris Hilton’s Feet Reveal

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Experts at the Foot Environmental Exponentiation Think-Tank (FEETT) have been studying the phenomenon of Paris Hilton’s feet for the past 20 years.

Professor Inglebight Mannering, leading researcher for the FEETT institute, is not a renowned foot fetishist but a scientist who has truly got to grip with Paris Hilton’s size 15 feet.

“Just look at those bulbous toes, the bone structure is truly astounding. Her big toe alone could injure a small dog, you know, like a Chihuahua or some other toy breed. We are fascinated by such aberrations, especially amongst the female species. Our findings after much analysis and recording data from over 20,000 subjects is that Paris Hilton most certainly has a huge vagina, like a vast cavern. From our records, we found a viable correlation between foot length and girth to vagina size. Our estimation, without physical corroboration, would be that the subject’s vagina is over 25″ in depth and approximately 14″ wide.”

Paris Hilton’s feet certainly do stick out, as the celebrity has been known to squash little dogs when she clomps around Beverly Hills.

One woman walking her Shih Tzu in 2018 revealed that Paris Hilton had just walked out of a shoe shop and, without noticing, squashed her dog with her enormous foot.

“I was about to walk into the shoe shop when I heard a crunching sound and a yelp. I looked down, and an enormous foot had squashed my little Mimi. Paris Hilton looked down and started to wipe the bloody mess off her large stiletto and complained that she had just had those shoes delivered specially hand made from Italy. She threw me a wad of twenties for my dog, and stormed off, wiping her shoe all the way to her Bentley. Naturally, I was outraged, but I forgive her because she is a celebrity,” Angela Multhrope, a Beverly Hills resident, revealed.

There are positives though for Paris Hilton’s condition, for example giving birth will be no problem. She will probably not even notice the baby coming out, especially with such a huge vagina. Other positives are that if she needs to hide a large object fast, she can do so in her large cavernous hole, especially good for jail time and shoplifting.

Biblical Experts Reveal Jericho Parchment of Jesus Riding a Dinosaur

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Biblical experts digging in the Jericho area in the West Bank have discovered a series of ancient parchments dating back 2,500 years depicting Jesus riding on a dinosaur. They immediately called in Christian dinosaur experts from Alabama, USA to validate their find.

Biblical Experts

“What we have here is a parchment of Jesus riding a Deinonychus, which was a relatively small dinosaur which reached around 3.4 metres (11 feet) in length and 73 kg (170 lb) in weight. They had about 60 teeth and had a powerful bite akin to a crocodile,” Miles O’Reardon, one of the dinosaur experts, revealed.

Most Christians would say that dinosaurs went extinct sometime after the flood. They believe this because God clearly commanded Noah to bring two of every creature of the sky and ground on the ark. Noah brought baby dinosaurs or younger dinosaurs on the ark instead of adults. This way, dinosaurs would have survived the flood along with every other kind of animal. This is how, according to the Bible, large dinosaurs like the T. rex and a brachiosaurus survived.

Behold, Behemoth, which I made as I made you; he eats grass like an ox. Behold, his strength in his loins, and his power in the muscles of his belly. He makes his tail stiff like a cedar; the sinews of his thighs are knit together. His bones are tubes of bronze, his limbs like bars of iron.

Job 40:15-18 ESV

If according to the Bible the earth is only 10,000 years old, it makes sense that dinosaurs existed when humans were created by God, and that Jesus rode dinosaurs around the Jericho area when he was preaching his parables to his followers.

“The parchment written in Aramaic shows very clearly Jesus preaching from a dinosaur. He had also just cured a blind man and brought four dead people back to life and performed many more miracles. This parchment changes everything. Praise be the Lord,” Biblical expert, Matt Shiboinken, from the Alabama Presbyterian Baptist Church of God, told Haaretz news service.

The incredible finding will be taken to America and displayed at the Creation Museum in Kentucky in December.

Helium Accident: Teacher With Giant Rubber Boobs Floats to 16,000 Feet

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The Canadian trans teacher who attends school classes wearing giant rubber boobs was last seen floating at over 16,000 feet over Nova Scotia, it has been reported.

According to pupils attending a woodwork class, Katja Lameure, a Manufacturing Technology teacher at Burnsville Nippoleon High School in Ontario, was in the school yard and wanted to show pupils how helium gas works.

teacher trans titties“She inserted a tube into each of the gargantuan nipples, then opened up the gas valve. Immediately, the giant rubber boobs started to inflate at great speed. This is when Katja panicked because the valves were stuck. When she lifted off into the sky, her rubber boobs acted like balloons, and she rose up at a speed of approximately 45 mph. She let off a blood-curdling shriek, but was a dot from the ground by now. We all waved her goodbye and wished her god speed on her journey.”

The RCMP rescue helicopter was scrambled at 2:30 from Halifax and was tracking Mr Lameure by radar.

Flight Lieutenant, Johnson McManus, revealed that high winds were blowing the teacher towards Newfoundland, and he had risen to over 25,000 feet.

“Unfortunately, we could not locate the teacher, as he had risen to over 35,000 feet by 16:30 travelling at 52 knots. He was rising because the gas canisters were still attached to his fake boobs. We have asked for Newfoundland military help to track the teacher, who may have also lost consciousness from lack of air.”

According to Professor Michael Calms, of Ontario University, the teacher could climb to over 50km where the stratosphere is located. Either there could be a catastrophic explosion of the giant rubber boobs, or they will gently deflate and eventually in about four or five days bring the teacher back down to earth somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. As for oxygen, there is very little up there.

The search is ongoing as pupils and staff at Burnsville Nippoleon High School in Ontario all held vigils on Sunday. If you see a wailing man hanging under a pair of giant rubber boobs, please contact the RCMP, and please do not shoot.

In 2022, the trans teacher tried to milk her giant fake breasts in the school’s canteen, resulting in psychological trauma for many of the pupils present.

Climate Change Leftists Care About Poor People and Want Them to Die Faster

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By pushing up the cost of energy, the elite leftists do not suffer, it is the lower tier of poor people who suffer. Banning gas/coal/oil/nuclear power and cars, is disguised as a response to ‘climate change’ but it is in fact a way of killing millions of poor people who will die of poverty. The Marxist elite at organisations like the WEF sincerely care about poor people so much that they are willing to callously murder them in cold blood through their policies.

Sadiq Khan and his ULEZ project in London will not make one iota of change for the quality of air, yet he is willing to see the deaths of hundreds of thousands of Londoners pushed over the edge by his expensive evil Marxist policies. Many Londoners barely clinging on by their fingernails will be pushed over the edge, and their poverty plus the evil London Mayor will have killed them. Obviously, this is a good thing for climate change, according to the leftists in charge. You will thus not find any poor people in climate change activist groups like ‘Just Stop Oil’ or ‘Extinction Rebellion’, these are all people with double-barrelled names conducting their ridiculous protests after travelling from their multi-million pound homes given to them by mummy and daddy.

The Great Reset

“We are basically pricing poor people out of travel, food and heating in the winter. Interest rate rises, price rises, and forced taxation on the roads is a great way of indirectly speeding these people to their deaths. They cannot afford anything, while we sit back and watch them fall like flies. Of course, we have to feign concern and empathy, but that’s easy to do,” a WEF spokesman revealed.

The caring leftists have supposedly supported the plight of the worker and poverty-stricken masses in the past for cheap labour, but at the end of the day, the useless eaters as they are known, have to go, because they are taking up too much space and creating too many carbon emissions resulting in climate change. Technology has increased to such a level now, especially with AI, that the masses are viewed as a burden and blight on the environment.

“Hopefully, with all the engineered price rises and punitive taxes, there will not be any poor people left by 2050. That’s with the multiple pandemics planned and cost of living hikes. This is about the most humane way we could achieve our targets. We have AI technology now so we just don’t need these people anymore,” another WEF spokesman revealed.

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