Dodgy Dave Happiness Meter Goes Below Zero

LONDON - England - Where was the Big Society proposed by Dodgy Dave when he was prime minister? It seems Dave's happiness meter had dipped well below zero during a parliamentary grilling.

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To see a former prime minister visibly disappear in abject shame on screen was a positive disgrace for the very office of the PM. When he was PM, Dodgy Dave even dreamed up a happiness index, as his aim was to magically make everyone in the country ‘happy’. Well, ironically, during the parliamentary grilling session yesterday into Dave’s dodgy business affairs, it seemed Dodgy Dave’s happiness meter was dipping a little, or a lot, as each painful hit came in wave after wave.

Big Society

“It was painful to watch, but to Cameron’s credit he took the hits on his blushing cheeks with gusto, he did not raise his voice once. Dodging this, dodging that, yes, of course you were not motivated by money, yes, you were doing it all for the integrity of business and wanted to help the country, sure you did Dave,” one parliamentary observer revealed over the whole corrupt fiasco.

Naturally the female Labour grillers were the ones who decided to get over emotional, some were visibly appalled that Dodgy Dave was a frequent flier of the company’s private jet to his second mansion in Cornwall.

Here’s to a lost £65 million payday and being disgraced in front of the whole nation and parliament. Hope it was worth it Dodgy Dave?