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Actual China Covid-19 Death Toll Over 100,000 As More Mobile Incinerators Deployed

Louis Cypher
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Actual China Covid-19 Death Toll Over 100,000 As More Mobile Incinerators Deployed

Fifty mobile incinerators are being deployed in Coronavirus hit city Wuhan, to complement the crematoriums which have been working day and night for the past few weeks disposing of bodies.

The Chinese authorities are labelling these incinerators for use with burning livestock, however there is no need as all livestock are clear of Covid-19.

The mobile incinerators can handle up to 5 tonnes of human bodies each day and even crush the corpses before burning at 850 degrees. The efficient disposal of the virus infected bodies has been sanctioned and tested by the Chinese army in a series of trials in Golmud, Qinghai in January.

Because of the extent of deaths, and the need to immediately take care of any evidence, many of these mobile incinerators are now being deployed across all provinces in China, where they can discretely incinerate bodies quickly and efficiently before moving on to the next area. Due to their mobility they are hard to track, and can be deployed at night, then moved on in the morning with no evidence of ever being there.

wuhan incinerators

“Whole streets of people are disappearing overnight. One minute a family existed, next they are ash swept into the gutters, completely erased. The Communist Party is also ensuring that all records of the dead are deleted as well, otherwise this could impact on the low death figures, if people ever asked the question. You have to hand it to our beloved Chinese authorities, they have run this cover-up perfectly and no one in China or the West are even questioning anything about the mortality rate of the coronavirus,” Li Yung, a citizen from Wuhan revealed on Weibo before his post was deleted.

Even though the Chinese authorities are constantly downplaying the spread of the virus, experts have warned the threat remains as Chinese nationals continue to return to work following the Lunar New Year.

“Now we are going to see the real spread because millions of workers are now returning to their jobs after Lunar New Year. The factories have to keep working as is demanded by the economy of China, and this will give the virus ample time to spread further and mutate as more become infected by the deadly Covid-19 pathogen,” a scared doctor from No.9 Wuhan hospital revealed.

Thomas Markle Bans Meghan and Harry From Using Markle Brand

Louis Cypher
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Thomas Markle Bans Meghan and Harry From Using Markle Brand

After Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II, banned ex-royals Harry and Meghan from profiting off the ‘Sussex Royal‘ brand, estranged father of Meghan Markle made an announcement today to the same effect.

“After deep cogitation at the ramifications of our Markle family name being dragged through the gutter, I hereby decree that the use of the ‘Markle’ family name be not used to market cheap plastic trinkets, socks, pyjamas and toilet brushes as proposed by Meghan and Harry after being banned by the Queen of Great Britain of using the ‘Sussex Royal’ name for profit.”

The Exile on Meghan Street couple who are now holed up in Canada, have already spent hundreds of thousands of pounds creating a Sussex Royal website as well as patenting thousands of products they wished to sell using the trademark to make millions of dollars. This has all been shot to the ground much to the delight of the general population who vehemently detest Meghan Markle and her calculating ideas of global domination.

The only thing left for the marauding ex-royal freeloaders is to now call themselves simply as ‘Meghan and Harry’.

Celebrated Brit Awards Rappers Can Only Say Three Words Repeated Ad Infinitum

Louis Cypher
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Celebrated Brit Awards Rappers Can Only Say Three Words Repeated Ad Infinitum

It’s the usual parade at the Brit Awards, a sad detriment to the state of today’s music biz, devoid of any form of creativity, real musicians, songs with melody or any form of true artistry.

The banal display of troupes of Afro-Caribbean descent rappers who had nothing to say apart from “You are racist!” were paraded in front of audiences who clapped inanely at their ‘genius’.

When one rapper was asked to back up with an example why racism was rife especially when the accusation was thrown at the PM, the answer was “You are racist!” repeated constantly with a generic drum beat in the background.

It was not only the Jamaican rappers, who accommodated the Brit Awards stage all saying the same thing on constant repeat, the stage was full of angry young female Jamaican RNB singers and their template songs this time shouting two points of reference, one would shout “You are racist!” then another would shout “We need more female talent in the Biz”. These mantras were repeated over and over again despite the Brit Awards full of Afro-Caribbean rappers and wailing Afro-Caribbean female RNB autotune template music singers.

Next year, the Brit Awards will be much of the same, and the year after that, and the year…etc..etc..etc..

Daily Squib Office Ordered ‘Sussex Royal’ Toilet Brushes Weeks Ago – Now Cancelled

Louis Cypher
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Daily Squib Office Ordered ‘Sussex Royal’ Toilet Brushes Weeks Ago – Now Cancelled

The Queen’s gone and done it now, Lizzie has banned Harry and Meghan from profiting off the ‘Sussex Royal’ brand, which has sort of left the Daily Squib office toilets out of bog brushes.

Our office manageress, who is not royal in the least, ordered online from the Harry and Meghan Sussex Royal website, some Sussex Royal toilet brushes (manufactured in China by slave labour). The idea was if you left a curler in the bowl and it refused to flush, one would break up the offending poo with the Harry and Meghan patented toilet brush, then scrape the remaining shit from the inside of the bowl not only allowing for a clean flush but also leaving a spick and span shine to the toilet.

Having back ordered the Sussex Royal toilet brushes, we were sincerely looking forward to using these things on our toilets as they get blocked up daily simply from the amount of traffic, but now will have to make do with a generic non-patented toilet brush. Sorry Harry and Meghan, but we will be pushing for a full refund.

One of our head writers, who writes most of his material on the bog was livid.

“I can’t bring myself to unblock a massive turd in the bowl then clean the marks from inside the bowl unless it has the Sussex Royal trademark on the toilet brush with a picture of Harry and Meghan beaming at me whilst big chunks of brown stuff get lodged in the brush’s bristles.”

 

Former Prince Harry Loving Time in Canada

Louis Cypher
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Former Prince Harry Loving Time in Canada

Former prince Harry is loving his time away from the excesses of the British press and his royal family duties in his North American hideout.

Harry’s aide has revealed that the former prince has let go somewhat, possibly the strains of family life with a woman like Meghan Markle may have something to do with it.

“Harry gets up at about 4pm, he then goes immediately to the television, he orders up the beers, the snacks, the burgers and the pizzas and stays there until 6am, when the servants carry him to bed. He then rinses and repeats the same regimen every single day, including Sundays.”

Things are going so well for the former prince that he does not even have to move when he has to go to the toilet.

“The former prince’s household has brought into employ a certain Mexican gentleman who stands by behind the former royal waiting for him to defecate. Harry will signal with a little fart or a squirt of piss that he is ready, and the man will get the bucket ready for the former prince to do his business. Once done, the prince will click his fingers and another Mexican gentleman will appear, he’s the wiper.”

When Meghan speaks to the former prince, he just nods his head in agreement and grunts before turning back to the basketball.

The Sussexes are currently enjoying many freebies, and are now known as the ‘freeloader Sussexes’ because they like to take, take, take.

Bernie Sanders: “I Want to Change America into China”

Louis Cypher
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Bernie Sanders: “I Want to Change America into China”

Comrade Bernie Sanders, who recently won the Democratic Party Caucus in Iowa, has revealed to his socialist followers his plans to change America into communist China.

“Comrades, thank you for following me blindly and without thought. You are the type of people this country needs, people who do not think, are solely uneducated morons only out for a free ticket, and follow blindly without question.

“I have a ten-year plan for America that will condemn this country to a brutal Marxist regime of equality in poverty for everyone. Every person will have equality, but nothing much else. I will strip the rich of their money and property, and redistribute it to the feckless masses who never worked a day in their lives. I will open all borders by abolishing ICE so that the whole of South America can come through. I will disarm the military so that America’s enemies can find strength in their plans to attack us. I will shut down all free speech. My big socialist state will dictate and dominate every aspect of your lives..this is what the young want, this is what they will get. Goodbye, USA, hello Venezuela and China.”

Comrades, vote for Bernie Sanders, you will get what you deserve.

vote-bernie

Societal Collapse More of Threat Than Coronavirus

Louis Cypher
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Societal Collapse More of Threat Than Coronavirus

All it takes is three to five days of supermarket shelves being empty for societal collapse to occur and the people who are unprepared searching for food.

The people who do not rely on the government and are prepared with stockpiled food and weapons for protection will still have the threat of dealing with those who are unprepared.

Anyone who reads the news will see the Love Island headlines as the world is gripped with one of the deadliest viruses in known history. This means most of the population are more concerned by shit brain-dead reality shows than preparing for survival.

Half of the British population could be infected with Covid-19, yet, the majority of Britain is more concerned with watching reality TV shows that dumb down the masses effectively acting as a lobotomy on the general population.

looting supermarkets

All it will take is a sharp spike in coronavirus cases in the UK, and the already inundated NHS will be completely paralysed by the mass influx of cases. Supermarkets will all be emptied within days, banks will stop serving customers and will halt access to funds, mobile phone operators will cease to function, and if rioting and looting in cities occur, army units could be dispatched in the streets to keep order.

Money will be worthless, and food, clean water, toilet paper, sanitary supplies will be the only bargaining chips people will have.

Empty shelves in venezuelan supermarket
SANTA ELENA DE UAIREN, VENEZUELA – AUGUST 12, 2015: Empty shelves in a supermarket. Shortages of basic supplies are common in Venezuela.

How long can your family survive without food? Every family should have at least 6 months worth of food and water stockpiled today, but unfortunately this will not be the case. Many hundreds of thousands of UK citizens will be unprepared, and will depend on the government to help in a state of crisis, however that help may never come, or it may come too late.

When societal breakdown occurs, there will be gangs of people walking the streets, house to house, supermarket to supermarket looting and violently liberating food supplies from those citizens who were expedient and who were prepared, therefore it is not just food supplies you should be thinking of but weapons that can deter these marauders. There will not be any police, and the army may not be deployed or available. It will be up to you to ensure the survival of you and your family — alone.

Workers in China Discover Thousands of Sealed #Coronavirus Corpses in Body Bags

Louis Cypher
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Workers in China Discover Thousands of Sealed #Coronavirus Corpses in Body Bags

BREAKING NEWS

Reports are coming in regarding the discovery of tens of thousands of corpses in body bags discovered in an underground complex. Please note, it is very hard to qualify this news from China because of the communist state’s policy of a news blackout regarding COVID-19 Coronavirus. Some claim the images are from a film, however the footage is being transmitted on some Chinese networks and Tencent with testimonies from workers.

The workers who were employed to maintain an underground complex in the city of Shantou, Guangdong Province, China leaked the information via Twitter, and if discovered by the communist police, will be detained and punished.

According to the Chinese reports, rows and rows of body bags were piled up in an area the size of a football field, and this was only in one containment zone within the underground bunker, there could be even more compartments holding more bodies.

Chinese authorities have been rushed off their feet by the amount of deaths, they may have stockpiled the bodies in underground facilities across China, supposedly out of the way.

The incinerators have been running day and night 24-7, but even then it is not enough to burn all the bodies.

The official death toll in China is now just over 1,000 deaths, but could actually be in the moderate estimation of 60-70,000 or more.

UPDATE: Backsearching of the image is inconclusive, but  our conclusion is it is most definitely a fake, however it is being utilised in Chinese media. The body bag picture is taken from the 2014 series – The Strain by Guillermo Del Toro.

Story developing

Annoying Voice: Nasal Keir Starmer Can’t Speak Properly Say Voters

Louis Cypher
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Annoying Voice: Nasal Keir Starmer Can’t Speak Properly Say Voters

It’s like hearing a voice through a cotton wool tuba, that is the truly annoying blackboard scraping sound of listening to Labour politician, Keir Starmer, who hopes to become the next leader of the socialist party of Britain.

“I can’t listen to him, as soon as he comes on, I switch to another channel,” one former Labour voter revealed.

Keir Starmer cannot breathe through his nose, and this is why he sounds so awful when he speaks.

“Why doesn’t he just blow his nose. It is so annoying that when he speaks I want to hit something. I can’t imagine listening to this nasal disaster every day through the Labour announcements and authoritarian socialist lectures he will give if he becomes Labour leader,” another voter revealed.

One man even suggested getting an electric drill and drilling some holes in Starmer’s blocked nasal passages.

“Just bought a Black and Decker, whenever I hear Keir Starmer speak I want to get the thickest drill bit I have shove it up his nostrils and drill. His voice is so annoying that I would prefer to be tormented by a dozen mosquitoes on a summer’s night buzzing around my room than listen to that fucking Starmer. The sound of squealing pigs off to the abatoir is a better sound.”

Hungry ‘Death Island’ Eats Another Soul

Louis Cypher
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Hungry ‘Death Island’ Eats Another Soul

Death Island is hungry, and it has to eat, it has a constant hunger for the narcissists, for the deranged fame whores who value nothing but their own selfish greed. Offerings death quietmust be made to the island of death of these pathetic greed-fuelled souls on a regular basis to please its appetite for the banal celebrity obsessed plastic people who populate this morbid dark Isle and their equally vapid audience.

Enter another offering, this time someone called Caroline Flack; the name does not matter, Death Island eats all with gusto, it does not discriminate, the souls fuelled by greed and celebrity power play, it gulps up these non entities who will be forgotten in a day or two, their crimes are many, their narcissism pure fuel that powers this moribund island and puts a big grin on its grim facade.

 

As the ITV executives and bosses count their stacks of cash grinning like demonic Cheshire cats, there is a call for more Death Island, more evil, and more souls to be plundered and exploited at the altar of immense profit.

The island will live on, in fact after its last meal, it burped with joy.

 

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