Former prince Harry is loving his time away from the excesses of the British press and his royal family duties in his Canadian hideout.
Harry’s aide has revealed that the former prince has let go somewhat, possibly the strains of family life with a woman like Meghan Markle may have something to do with it.
“Harry gets up at about 4pm, he then goes immediately to the television, he orders up the beers, the snacks, the burgers and the pizzas and stays there until 6am, when the servants carry him to bed. He then rinses and repeats the same regimen every single day, including Sundays.”
Things are going so well for the former prince that he does not even have to move when he has to go to the toilet.
“The former prince’s household has brought into employ a certain Mexican gentleman who stands by behind the former royal waiting for him to defecate. Harry will signal with a little fart or a squirt of piss that he is ready, and the man will get the bucket ready for the former prince to do his business.”
When Meghan speaks to the former prince, he just nods his head in agreement and grunts before turning back to the basketball.
The Sussexes are currently enjoying many freebies, and are now known as the ‘freeloader Sussexes’ because they like to take, take, take.