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Biden Talking to White House Furniture Say Aides

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Joe Biden on all fours was spotted by numerous White House aides scooting around the Blue Room floor and having an in-depth conversation with a set of chairs from Paris made by Pierre-Antoine Bellangé in 1817.

“C’mon man gimme a break! So your j-j-job is to sit there in the corner and not do anything all day? I wanna that job! Co co shibuz namamamama trailblazers sasquatch. Okay, you stay there, lemme scoot over and I’m going to raise my leg and pee on the curtain! Woof, woof, woof! Hummada hummada hummada boizee boizee boizup!”

After talking to the set of chairs for three hours, Biden then sat on his butt on the floor and started pulling himself across the floor dragging himself towards the famous Resolute Desk, a gift from Queen Victoria in 1880. Under Biden’s patronage, it has been relegated to a small cupboard room. The large oak desk crafted from the timbers of the HMS Resolute was presented to President Rutherford B. Hayes. Timbers taken from the abandoned ship during an arctic expedition were used to make the desk, and sent to the White House as a gesture from Queen Victoria after Congress provided funds to repair the ship and return it back to England. Many presidents since John F. Kennedy began the tradition of using the Resolute desk in the Oval Office, but not Biden because he knows full well he is not President of the United States. It is no secret that Biden also despises the British with a vengeance and this is why he hates this particular desk so much.

“I hate you! Get outta my sight man! Putin invaded Ireland, we gotta free Ireland from the Brits, goddamn hackers they hacked Ireland! It’s all the Limeys fault! Going back to New Orleans, here come the Neville brothers, be there for the Mardi Gras, is that a jumbo jet?”

After a furious tirade where Biden’s face goes all red with rage he rolls around on the floor crying for the “Emerald Isle” then unzips, cocks his leg, and pees on one of the legs of the Resolute desk.

“Chibba chibba marango! Agooda! Iah! Iah! Iah! Shieeeeezzzas!”

It’s just another day in the Biden White House, nothing to see here, folks!

Third Wave Infections Now Increasing Exponentially Across UK

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It takes time to build up, and the results PHE (Public Health England) are seeing of a 79% increase in infections of the Delta variant of Covid-19 across the country are just the beginning.

As more footfall occurs, more sports fixtures, increased summer travel, and more general interaction, then the virus will move further into population centres, and outer pockets of the population where the virus has been kept at bay for some time.

The economy of course is the initial priority of any government, and the consensus is that we should all live with people being infected and dying in front of us, just as long as life goes on as normal.

Third wave already underway

Public Health England reported a 79% rise in the number of cases of the variant first identified in India in a week. Hospital admissions have almost doubled.

Experts say the sudden increase is being driven by infections among younger people. It is scientifically proven that younger people are the initial super-spreaders of the virus, and their asymptomatic abilities allow the virus to spread to those who will eventually die from the virus.

The virus has all the time in the world, and it does not care about anything but surviving. To survive, it has to continually infect as many human hosts as possible, and from there, it must adapt to anything that is thrown in its way, whether these are vaccines or lockdowns.

Right now is a time of massive spread for the virus, and as the weekly results come in, more will be apparent about the viruses ability to spread, especially as the r0 value is way above 1 across the breadth of the country in all regions.

The Tokyo Olympics will be a major conduit for global spread of the virus further. It is simple physics. Millions of people travel to Japan for the Olympics from all corners of the earth, then mingle and interact, and once the Olympics end, they all travel back to their respective nations, spreading the virus even further. This is what the virus wants, and it could not ask for anything better.

Our advice is now is the time of mass infection, so limit your time in any areas populated with many humans. Wear a proper N95 certified mask, and wear an eye covering if you have to go out. Stock up on essentials, food, water purifiers, medical supplies, because when the mass hospitalisations increase, then things will be worse than the first two waves. Food price inflation is already here, but it will get a lot worse as supply falls.

Think for yourself. Never follow the sheep.

Leaky Harry: “I Did Not Leak Another Private Royal Conversation Again!”

Former royal, Harry has defiantly dismissed the fact that he leaked another private royal conversation to the press again.

“I did not leak another private royal conversation to the press. No, it was not me! I was not there when I told my press people to spread it around. I am not here! I was not there! It was not me!” the former prince emphatically denied.

Now that it’s all over the media, somehow Harry’s words seem a bit weak.

“The former prince did not brief me to spread this private conversation to all news outlets far and wide. I have no knowledge of the former prince saying anything to me that related in any way to that private conversation regarding Prince Charles slimming down royalty and not making Archie a prince. No, I deny I heard those words being spluttered from Harry’s mouth,” the Archehole press secretary revealed to all news outlets on Sunday.

It is not known where all these conversations come from, because they seem to emanate from thin air.

Is Harry a threat to national security? Surely not.

Parliamentarians Truly Surprised by Bercow Defection

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Former Tory MP and Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, has astonished members of his former party and parliament by defecting to the Labour party.

“He was a Tory, through and through. I never would have guessed that Bercow was a meddling commie implant all of this time,” an astonished Tory MP revealed, whacking himself on the head in disbelief.

There were absolutely no indications whatsoever that Bercow was a Labour implant into the Conservative Party for all those years.

“When he was House Speaker he never gave favours or showed bias in favour of Labour. Bercow also never tried to pervert parliamentary processes to thwart Brexit and democracy in any way. Oh, look out the window, a pair of flying pink elephants are copulating whilst smoking Cuban cigars!” another parliamentary observer exclaimed.

There is another bonus for John Bercow for declaring his Labour credentials. He will now be guaranteed his £300/day when Labour puts him forward as a Lord.

Sally Bercow, congratulated her husband from a gypsy caravan somewhere in Cheshunt, where she has shacked up with some bruiser.

“All those years working undercover for John took their toll. That’s why I am in this caravan right now and some gypsy he-man is about to come in and give my box a good seeing to, something ‘limpy’ could not fulfil.”

Best Breeds Of Horses For Racing

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Horse racing is one of the most popular sports in the world and used to be the prime betting event before soccer usurped it at the bookies. Nevertheless, horse racing commands a whole lot of attention across the globe.

Racehorses come in different breeds, with some considered to be more superior than others. One does not simply train any horse for racing; there are very specific breeds chosen to race; courses have a lot to do with it too.

Just like dogs, horses are bred for specific purposes. Some of them are built for speed, others for endurance, while others are optimal over particular distances. Whatever the case may be, folks will take to bookmakers to place their bets, with the Michigan Sports Betting scene full of offerings on such a front.

That said, let’s take a look at some of the best breeds used for racing.

Thoroughbred

Thoroughbreds are the most commonly used horses for flat racing. Such horses are bred specifically for racing and could be considered to be a sort of hybrid as three horses were chiefly imported to England in the 17th and 18th centuries for the sole purpose of creating the ultimate fast breed.

The Byerly Turk, Darley Arabian, and Godolphin Arabian were the horses mainly used to create the Thoroughbred we know today. There were a few other horses involved but the aforementioned three wielded the most influence.

Arabian

Arabian_The Arabian horse, also referred to as the Bedouin horse, is known for its endurance across the desert lands in the Middle East. Such horses were bred by nomadic Bedouins thousands of years ago as they needed dependable warhorses that could withstand heat, survive without water all while exerting stamina. Such horses have thinner skin than other horses, which helps keep them cool in hot conditions.

The thin skin also helps when it comes to the possibility of overheating and that they had to travel very long distances in search of water helped build their endurance. While they don’t need as much water as other horses, it hardly means they shouldn’t be given as much.

Quarter Horse

quarter-horseQuarter horses went by the name Quarter Pather horses before the term was shortened to what we know today. This breed is named the above due to the fact that it was raced over ¼ mile streets. It’s the top racehorse for short distances, though Thoroughbreds have surpassed them in popularity.

People are likely to point to their natural cow sense or ability to change direction with very little space, but do not let that fool you into thinking they aren’t fast.

Appaloosa

appaloosaThe Appaloosa has Thoroughbred, Arabian, and Quarter horses in its bloodline, which makes it an excellent choice. The breed can be formidable in flat racing, endurance, or running the barrels. Bred by the Nez Perce Indians in North America, the Appaloosa was developed for speed and stamina, as well as its friendly nature.

Standardbred

standardStandardbred horses are thought to be the best trotting breed around and were bred specifically as harness racing horses in the 19th century. They can all be traced back to a horse born in 1849 called Hambletonian 10, who was the grandson of Thoroughbred Messenger. The latter won 10 out of the 16 races he participated in. Hambletonian 10’s influence is paid homage to in North America’s Hambletonian Stakes.

The Standardbred is considered to be a gaited breed as it can trot or pace, although it can perform the canter. Horses are punished for cantering during races but pacing, a lateral gait in which the horse’s fore and hind legs move together, is comfortable for riding while the trot is preferred for racing.

French Trotter

French-TrotterA cross-breed between Thoroughbreds and the Norfolk Trotter, which is now extinct, the French Trotter was created with the aim of developing a fast-trotting breed that could be raced in harness or under a saddle.

This breed participates in both harness and saddle trot races.

There is no breed standard for this horse, which is typically of medium size. The French Trotter has more stamina and endurance than the Standardbred but reaches maturity slower, which usually hands it a longer racing career.

Orlov Trotter

orlovThe Orlov Trotter is the most famous among breeds coming from Russia. It was created in the 1770s by Count Alexis Grigorievich Orlov, who wanted a breed that could withstand the Russian climate but also be able to travel long distances. The Count wanted a horse with a long stride so it could cover lots of ground and not tire easily.

At one point, the Orlov Trotter was the fastest harness horse in Europe but, after the fall of the Soviet Union, people began making crosses of the Orlov Trotter, Standardbred, and Russian Trotter. However, the former is coming back as a top racehorse in Russia.

Cancel Culture Latest: English Children’s Author Enid Blyton Erased From History

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The much loved innocent books of children’s author Enid Blyton have fallen foul of the totalitarian Woke Bolsheviks and cancel culture.

The totally innocent children’s books enjoyed by millions around the world are now labelled as ‘racist’ and ‘xenophobic’ by the cultural Marxist Wokerati, these are totalitarian communist operatives who have infiltrated the highest echelons of literature, heritage, business and policy implementation.

Every day we are witnessing Western Democracy disappearing bit by bit, the totalitarian tiptoe, a little democracy and freedom is erased piece by piece until eventually there is nothing left but a brutal tyrannical regime of authoritarian communistic savagery.

Stasi Britain

Literature should be sacrosanct in all its forms and thoughts, and if we are to live in a relatively free society, freedom of speech should be preserved as a way of displaying human discourse in all its forms. Instead, the communist Woke operatives are seeking to punish humans that express themselves any way that is not aligned to their evil agenda.

The Daily Squib is against all totalitarian regimes irrespective of their political class, whether left or right of the political spectrum, we abhor anything that stamps on basic human rights of freedom of expression.

What is going to happen next? Are these deranged fanatics of BLM and Non-English Heritage going to cancel cave paintings from thousands of years ago?

People who feel strongly about freedom of speech and the plight of legacies like Enid Blyton being stamped on must vote with their feet, because the government does not seem to be doing anything as they promised to do to stop the desecration of literature and history by these debased ignorant fanatical communist censors. When English Heritage is not about English heritage any more, then the simple thing to do is to boycott it until it becomes English again.

Government Needs to Concentrate on Purging Left-Wing Woke Marxists From Education System

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As Covid-19 wanes from the agenda, the British government needs to contain another growing virus that is increasing in strength every day — Marxist Wokism.

This communist ideology of Wokism, a severe form of political correctness, has infected all educational institutions. Fuelled by the EU and communist China, it is creating children and young adults from Higher Education that are militant communist cannon fodder, brainwashed to levels unseen in many years.

Youth should be somehow directed towards a stance of not following these malevolent communist ideologies blindly, to make reasoned choices for themselves and to think for themselves.

twitter remainers

Educational establishments must follow a curriculum of reasoned political understanding encompassing all ideologies, and the biased militant ‘revolutionary’ Marxist implants as teachers and lecturers should be removed from all establishments. Yes, people can still learn about Marxism and other radical theories however this should be tempered by other ideologies, and with an unbiased educational philosophy.

The EU is paying huge amounts of money per year to infiltrate and subvert Britain’s children indoctrinating schools and universities into the Soviet collectivist machinations of the European Union. We should be teaching children about the greatness of British history, the Empire and democracy. Of course, world affairs, history and culture should not be ignored either, because Britain under Brexit is now fully loaded to look outward once again and is not as restrained by the EU any more.

children of the eu
EU NPCs

Tony Blair once said “Education, education, education!” and even though he is a conniving warmongering middle of the road Marxist he was correct in the assumption of education being a key component in national strategy right from kindergarten to university.

Boris Johnson needs to make education now a serious priority, not only in changing the current EU-centric curriculum but in ploughing more money into classrooms and other educational institutions supporting a more British outlook and syllabus.

It may now take another two or three generations to reclaim the UK’s youth from the jaws of Marxist Wokism, but now is the time to start. If nothing is done, the fractured demoralization of our nation will continue to benefit Britain’s enemies exponentially — a virus equal to Covid-19.

Incoherent Crazy Joe Biden Could Order Nuclear Strike On Russia in 5 Minutes

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“I don’t know what I’m doing man half the time, or where I am! Jibbu doo boo pzeeeeep!” Biden told CNN reporters before falling down some stairs head first. It’s a scary thought that the red button is just a press away, especially with a demented senile crazy old fart like Joe Biden. From Biden’s orders to commit a nuclear strike on Russia, the time elapsed would only be 5 minutes.

5 minutes to launch

After being patched through to the Pentagon’s deputy director of operations, the head of all U.S. strategic nuclear forces at Strategic Command in Omaha would also be in line to take the launch order.

The Biscuit

The senior Pentagon officer in the ‘war room’ then reads a ‘challenge code,’ often two phonetic letters from the military alphabet, such as “Alpha-Lima.” Then Biden retrieves the ‘biscuit’, a laminated card the president or military aide carries at all times, and finds the matching response to the challenge code: “Sierra-Bravo,” and everything is set to go.

Meanwhile, clinically insane Biden and his ‘yes men’ Democrat voting generals will be whooping their fists in the air as an encoded and encrypted message 150 characters long is transmitted to all nuke sites around the globe. By this time, only three minutes will have passed since the beginning of the process.

Launch

Once all the silo sites and nuclear submarines receive the final order to launch, approximately five minutes will have passed. By then all Intercontinental ballistic missiles have been launched, there is no going back.

Five minutes have passed from the delirious, insane mess that is Joe Biden from committing the globe to mutually assured destruction. Half the time clueless Biden does not know what he is saying even when he is reading from his script, and he does not know what he is doing.

All it will take is a few Pentagon officials and generals intent on war to convince Biden to commit to a nuclear strike. If Biden is not even capable of finishing his sentences, and is not aware of his whereabouts or why he is somewhere, he is effectively putty in the hands of clever scheming officials who basically tell Biden what to do at every moment of his day.

“We have to tell Joe where to walk, where to sit, what to say, and we have to empty his nappy when it gets too full. Much of the time Mr. Biden does not realise where he is, so we have to tell him, and everything he says in public is heavily scripted. There are multiple rogue Pentagon sharks swimming around him at all times. They just have to tell him stuff, anything, and he will believe it without question. He is effectively such an easy prey to toy with that I say he would definitely agree to a full nuclear strike on Russia if told to by his so-called ‘trusted’ Pentagon officials,” a military psychiatrist revealed.

It’s only a matter of time before Biden commits to a full nuclear strike on Russia. Enjoy your time alive while you still can.

 

Instagram Influencer Posts Update Whilst Being Eaten by Shark

Josh Noah, 23, a prominent Instagram influencer with over 3 million subscribers, heroically managed to post an update to his account whilst being eaten alive by a Great White shark off the coast of Australia on Sunday.

instagram shark attack

Mr Noah then proceeded to post further updates to the account, including one where the shark took his remaining leg, and his right arm.

Luckily, he was holding his phone in his left-hand, so he could update his subscribers on his current status. His dedication to being an Instagram Influencer was truly unparalleled.

Eventually, the updates ended.

Australian coastguards trawled the area where the Instagram Influencer was last seen, however only recovered a half-eaten boogie board.

Coastguard chief, Alf Nolan, commended Mr Noah on his bravery.

“He was updating his Instagram right up to the end. Even when this poor bastard only had a left arm left, he was tapping away on that phone. We are currently looking for a 25 ft Great White shark which was witnessed stalking the shoreline by several people.”

Noah’s last tweet before the Great White shark ate the rest of him was in praise of his sponsor of the day, a fashion outlet selling swim shorts for men, inviting his subscribers to purchase some purple swim shorts for $34.99.

Billionaire Bozos to be Shot Into Space in Penis Rocket

What better fate for a dickhead than to be shot into space in a rocket ship shaped like a giant phallus.

“I have all these billions of dollars I make by selling Western people cheap Chinese trinkets, so I thought to myself, hey, why not be shot into space in a fucking rocket that looks like a giant dick? Everyone knows what a dick I am anyway, so I thought I would show the world what a dick does — he builds a billion dollar rocket that looks like a dick!” Bozos declared.

Even billionaires die — Death, is the ultimate great equalizer

Many around the globe are hoping it is a one way trip for Bozos and his rich pals.

“Maybe he might hit a piece of space junk, or a little meteorite might smash through the thin hull. I would personally love it if there is a massive malfunction and the autonomously controlled rocket boosters just kept boosting the fuckers into space. One less billionaire cunt on the planet is a good thing for humanity. Parasites die like everyone else,” one clued-up observer quipped.

Have a good trip Bozos — hope it’s one way.