17.7 C
Monday, July 22, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldTHIRD WAVE: Sunshine and Alcohol Fuelled Delight For the New Covid Indian...

THIRD WAVE: Sunshine and Alcohol Fuelled Delight For the New Covid Indian Strain

England - As everything opens up again after lockdown, the Third Wave of the virus is already gaining traction.

We hate to be party poopers, or the kind of people who tell you ‘told you so’ however…er…we told you so months ago that the next wave would be upon us after a brief build up, and SAGE scientists have now confirmed what we predicted. The Third Wave, along with the much deadlier Indian strain should be a real eye opener.

Everyone loves to party, to get completely sozzled, enjoying football matches, concerts, whatever, in fact we at the Squib are professed kings of Bacchanalia, and devoutly prostrate ourselves in front of Bacchus and embrace the spirit of Dionysus, however there is a time and a place for everything. The global pandemic is not a time for fucking holidays, partying or any sort of congregation with other humans in close quarters.

Yes, there are deniers that the Covid-19 Chinese Virus exists, and they should all be sent to India where they are running out of wood to cremate the hundreds of thousands of dead bodies, or to see the wheezing people desperate for oxygen outside overflowing hospitals. Try and deny Covid then, you fucking morons.

Having a global pandemic is not about our freedoms being taken away, it is about surviving a deadly virus that will attack your motherfucking cells, your brain and lungs. Even if you get it and survive, you are susceptible to ‘long Covid’ a term that describes long-term debilitating health problems.

One thing that Dominic Cummings said during the recent parliamentary hearing where he was ridiculed and laughed at, was the most potent and real comment anyone could have ever made. Yes, the lockdown needed a dictator-like character, a sole person to really make the lockdown a proper fucking lockdown. In war, you need a Churchillian type of character, because we had a laissez-faire lockdown, which is not really a lockdown. We might as well have not had a first lockdown, because it was not a lockdown. People were using it as an extended holiday by going to the beaches and parks to party. International flights were still coming in from China for fucks sake, and all over the world where Covid is raging at some point. Do not even bother calling it a lockdown if the buses are full, and the London Underground is overflowing with sweaty huffing people. As for the second so-called ‘lockdown’, it was not a lockdown in any sense, the roads were full, the flights flew, the parks and beaches were full.

Unless people and the government takes the virus seriously, this insidious cunning microscopic Chinese engineered beast will keep chipping away, and it will never go away. One has to of course sympathise somewhat with the government who are stuck between a rock and a hard place, the economy and total collapse of society are just as important to stop, however, scientifically speaking, the more the virus spreads, the more chance it will get to mutate. Additionally, vaccines not only offer a false sense of security, but help the virus to mutate, simply because it is forced to mutate to survive.

The virus wants to survive at all costs, but it seems the silly humans are more concerned with getting their year’s two-week holiday in some shit hole crowded tourist Spanish fuck bowl. If you really want to die a horrible gasping death, or spread the virus to others, then go ahead. The virus wants you to do it. Where will the stupid hospitality and tourism industry be when everyone’s fucking dead? You won’t have any customers anyway.

If you have not prepped, as we suggested months ago, then this is your last call. Food inflation is already at record levels, and it is going to get a hell of a lot worse.

After UK Lockdown Ends in March 2021, When Will Next COVID-19 Wave Commence?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -





The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!