17.7 C
London
Thursday, March 28, 2024
secret satire society
HomeWorldXi Jinping Regrets His Covid-19 Virus Not Killed Enough People Worldwide

Xi Jinping Regrets His Covid-19 Virus Not Killed Enough People Worldwide

WUHAN - China - Xi Jinping has been hugely disappointed that not enough people globally have died from the Chinese engineered Covid-19 virus.

buy squib book

Addressing the CCP on Friday, Chairman Xi Jinping, outlined his great plan to counteract his severe disappointment regarding the lacklustre amount of deaths from the Wuhan Institute of Virology engineered virus — Covid-19. Global deaths have been disappointing to the Chinese president, and now further plans for another engineered virus are afoot.

“The Covid-19 virus, engineered by our CCP and PLA scientists has regrettably only managed to neutralise approximately 3.5 million people globally. This pitiful amount falls way short of China’s forecast, and is cause for serious concern regarding my 5-year-plan to re-populate all nation’s of the world with only Chinese people. I have now ordered our great scientists to engineer another virus, but this time it must be more deadly than Covid-19. The other nations are too stupid, and slow to do anything about it, and this time, we will make it harder for them to make any kind of vaccine. Because of International travel, our agents posing as Chinese tourists will release the virus in key areas where it will be assured to spread through their populations. To make it seem more natural, we will release a small amount in some designated Chinese cities as a form of collateral damage, and to show that we were affected too, however our stringent quarantine system will soon shut the outbreak down, as it rages around the globe. The new virus must have multiple mechanisms to ensure its effective military role to kill the enemy. I am liaising with the Wuhan Virus Lab daily as they give me progress reports on the new virus. We will simply market it as a new strain of the Covid-19 virus, as the foreign scientists are too stupid to realise what we are doing. Professor Shi Zhengli and biowarfare officer in the Chinese Army, Cao Wuchun, will be responsible for the new virus. They have already conducted themselves well creating the Covid-19 virus, but it was not enough, they need to make the next virus even more potent. Meanwhile, our military team of hackers will spread computer viruses throughout their networks disrupting their operations to try and stop our unstoppable virus. We have already sold the plan to our sympathisers and communist delegates in the West, the Democrats, Big Tech and many billionaire businessmen who we deal with. What they do not know is, even if they survive the next big wave, we will purge these useful idiots as much as we purge the others. China always covers all bases, and this time, we will not be denied complete global domination.”

  Daily Squib Book

  DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
- Advertisment -
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group
daily squib FB Group

NEWS ON THE HOUR

curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press
curtis-press

MORE NEWS

THE DAILY SQUIB ANTHOLOGY

The definitive book of Juvenalian satire and uncanny prophesies that somehow came true. This is an anthology encompassing 15 years of Squib satire on the internet compiled and compressed into one tiddly book. Buy the Book Now!

Translate »