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EU Citizens Will Need Three Months Rent Says Cammo

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In a bid to ramp up his prospects for reelection, David Cameron was today outlining a new scheme that will ensure some votes from someone out there at least in the coming general election in 2015.

“C’mon mate I need some votes from someone. That’s why I’ve got this new EU immigrant deal going that looks like it will not be enforceable but will please some easily fooled idiots who may vote for me. We’re still going to be the dumping ground for every beggar from here to Bucharest but there you go, I’ll get a second term and what happens after that, who gives a shit?”

“Only three months till we get full benefits? No problem, we come in, get registered, then go home for three months for a holiday, then come back again. Easy. After we’re finished with your country, you won’t have anything left,” a jubilant beggar from Romania told the BBC.

Cameron’s desperate scramble to placate a British population fearful of being further overrun by hordes of even more EU citizens from some of the poorest, most deprived former Soviet bloc countries in the European Union is an obvious pre-election piece of elasto plaster on an already festering wound on Britain. The damage has already been done.

New TV Series ‘Breaking Jesus’ Review

The new Channel 4 series called Breaking Jesus has come up trumps with viewing figures quadrupling in the second half of the first series.

The gritty show is about a Methodist reverend and corrupt lackey of the Labour Party who goes on meth and cocaine binges with rent boys as well as other seedy characters from the underworld.

The reverend then manages to blag his way into the top job for a High Street banking chain whilst hobnobbing with high ranking members of the Labour Party and illegally funding them to hijack the elections.

Series creator, Edward Militant said of his creation: “We tried to get as close to real life as possible.”

Iran Promises to Not Build Any Nuclear Weapons While Building New Nuclear Weapons

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“Hands on heart, we promise not to build any nuclear weapons whilst building the nuclear weapons we’re building right now. You can have our assurance that the newer nuclear weapons we are building are not the older nuclear weapons we have postponed building but will still build anyway,” Mohammad Javad Zarif, Iran’s foreign affairs minister told John Kerry’s toupee during another nuclear meeting at a Holiday Inn in downtown Detroit yesterday.

According to Israel’s premier, Benjamin Netanyahu, the Iranians are definitely building more nuclear weapons and for once he’s right, they actually are.

Looks like the world is a safer place now so we can all rest assured that we all won’t get blown to smithereens in a nuclear holocaust…Aaaargh!!!!!

10 Million Illegal Immigrants to Live at Zuckerberg Mansion

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Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg vowed on Sunday to contravene the current U.S. immigration system and  personally give amnesty to 10 million illegal immigrants currently residing in the United States in his own own house. Hailed as the civil rights gesture of the century, Zuckerberg is going to be a life line to millions of illegal immigrants residing in the U.S.

“I invite all illegal aliens to come and stay with me and my wife. We have five bathrooms in our mansion and a swimming pool next to the chicken coop. You will get all the food you want and I’ll even break into my $20 billion fortune to buy you any stuff you want,” Zuckerberg announced on a special Facebook  amnesty page yesterday. The special invite Facebook page has already received 200 million likes and is written in English and Spanish.

Zuckerberg’s mansion is only a stone’s throw away from Facebook head quarters and the Facebook founder wants the illegal aliens to pop in there whenever they feel like it.

President Obama, who is himself an illegal alien, today praised the liberal qualities of Zuckerberg.

John F. Kennedy Still Dead

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After being assassinated some time in the 1960s, news is slowly filtering in that John F. Kennedy is still kind of dead.

“He died in the 1960s. Somehow he got shot whilst travelling in a moving vehicle. Yep, he’s still dead now. Been dead and gone for a long time,” Larry Sliverstein, a man who remembers the day Kennedy died, told Time Magazine yesterday.

“As far as being dead, it means that John F. Kennedy will not be coming back, I guess that’s what happens when your dead,” a news reporter for a local Dallas news team said during another Dead Kennedy TV spectacular.

Britons Must Prepare for Another Labour Government

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With the demise of the National Health Service when millions of  Bulgarians and Romanians descend on Britain in January 2014, Britons will also have to contend with a given  certainty in 2015 when the General Election will be held.

The Labour win will cause unimaginable pain and suffering to Britain, as the champagne socialist cronies get hold of budgets once again for their self serving pet projects. Borrowing will increase tenfold and plunge Britain into a new Dark Age. Naturally, it is hard to conceive more surveillance as there is enough now, but Labour will increase it to impossible depths. Crime will increase as it did with the previous Labour government as the populations will be plunged into the cauldron of an incompetent government who champion criminals and send murderous thugs on taxpayer funded safari trips. Ed Miliband will also strip the population of  riches via punitive taxation to pay for everything, so prepare to work for nothing and get nothing back, such is his anti-business anti-profit stance.

As for American companies like Google, Amazon, Starbucks and Ebay they will be taxed to such levels that invariably they will not want to do business in the UK, leaving these shores and taking their business elsewhere. France under Hollande is a good example, although under Labour the levels of taxation will be multiplied a thousand times.

Britons deserve what they vote for and they will get it in 2015.

“Right now, Britain is barely functioning under the strain of immense migratory pushes from the EU, but once Labour gets in it will only get worse as their pro-EU stance will ensure further seepage of  the Marxist Communist EU state.” a Westminster insider revealed to the New Statesman today.

Ordinary Britons will see thousands more A&E units forced to shut and buckle under the strain of immigration. They will also witness class sizes in schools increase to over 60 with just one teacher. They will also witness the death of Britain’s infamous benefits system which will have to shut down permanently due to impossible demand, increased unemployment and no resources.

Once the Labour government is installed, the pound sterling will be scrapped for the euro. This is their ultimate goal, and will cause havoc in the banking sector. No doubt they will smile as all financial institutions flee from Britain to sunnier climes as the anti-finance regulations kick in.

Being anti mass immigration is not racist, this is not about race or xenophobia, this is about space. Something which the tiny island of Britain has very little.

“When Labour wins in 2015, you will have one person to congratulate for the win and that will be David Cameron. His flip flopping over Europe will cost him dearly, because his actions will condemn the UK to be obsolete. But why would he care anyway when he gets his nice role in Brussels?” an ex Tory voter revealed today.

To divide and conquer Britain utilising economic and migratory weapons is the sole purpose of the EU and this has proven to be an extremely efficient method of  integration. In any conquest, one must first destroy, then build back up in the vision of the conqueror.

The EU will win this war any way they can.

Americans Discovering Joys of ‘Happy Slapping’ ‘Knockout’ Craze

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As always, when every new craze jumps over an ocean or enters a new territory it gets re-branded.

During the lovely Labour era in the UK circa 2008, we had the ‘happy slapping’ event when young people would go around terrorising commuters or anyone else they found on a street alone. The gangs would then knock the person out or slap them really hard in the face whilst filming the deed later posting it on the internet for extra brownie points.

The Labour era championed this subclass of track suited yobbos who were alternatively known as chavs.

5 Years Later

The Americans are currently enjoying their own socialist renaissance with marauding cowardly gangs of a similar low-level species as the British model, who enjoy nothing more than a bout of ‘flash mob robs‘ or ‘knockout’.

The code word in the terribly PC American media is ‘young people’ or ‘teens’ because they’re not allowed to mention the race of the  people committing the ‘knockout’ craze. This is possibly due to the fact that president Obama has a very tight grip on the media and no one dares even say the ‘b’ word.

Under any socialist regime political correctness is a weapon used to condition people into controlled thought processes and also to deter anyone from mentioning the truth about any situation. The current American regime is not ‘Democrat’ or ‘Liberal’ this is a false moniker for a party that is deeply socialist, Marxist, bordering on full blown communism. The collectivist, anti-privacy, mass censorship, surveillance policies of president Obama are an affront to freedom everywhere in the world, not only in America.

Spanish Armada Seen Off Coast of Gibraltar

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British PM David Cameron, in his defining Maggie moment, wants to send a British Navy dinghy to Gibraltar to stave off the Spanish Armada.

“I’ve sold off and decommissioned all of our Navy warships so we’re going to send in a rubber dinghy. That should do the job,” Cameron told the House of Commons today.

Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg backed up Cameron’s speech with one of his own: “I know I have the mind of a weak, feeble woman; and I have the heart and stomach of a weasel, and think foul scorn that Parma or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of our realm; to which, rather than any dishonour should grow by me. Oh dear, I forgot wifey is Spanish. Ah, let them have Gibraltar, it’s only a tiny rock you know. Just changed my mind again, please ignore what I said before.”

Spain which hails under the orders of the EU has been chosen to bait the Brits as a warning for not going ahead with a full EU membership.

In Brussels, unelected technocrats were unapologetic: “Ve haf vays of making the Britishers play ball. Until zay give us all of their island, ve vill bait them in Gibraltar. That piece of land is ze property of ze EU. They have no right to be there any more.”

The Death of Christianity Much Exaggerated in the Minds of the Deceivers

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The former Archbishop of Canterbury, Lord Carey laments the slow seeping death of the Church of England’s flocks. As the Daily Squib has already outlined in a myriad of articles regarding the invalidity of the organised deception of the masses throughout the ages, there exists two very strong antidotes to religious deception, logic and science.

No doubt, Christians enjoy sitting in ornate buildings singing songs, but this has nothing to do with God. The songs could be about anything and have the same effect. All it is is people together singing, this brings good thoughts and a feeling of well being, a we’re all in it together emotion. These can be replicated in a pub on a Sunday lunch time or a football match sing-a-long.

Religions also prey on the vulnerable and those in crisis. Naturally, by taking advantage of  those who need help in trying times, they know they will ensure a grateful continued addition to the deception.

Churches, cathedrals are generally pleasant pieces of historic architecture, mainly produced hundreds of years ago by valued craftsmen, architects and artists, therefore they are part of the human heritage within the Western world, but that’s all there is to it.

The crisis within false religions lie in deeper waters. It is criminal that religions are imposed on humans at birth. This is one of the worst crimes against humanity, because the imposition of generationally transferred superstitions onto defenceless children harm the human race in the long run.

Science and technology cut through falsities like knives through butter, and when organised deception like religion is put into the Petri dish, it comes up as a deceitful little bug, a parasite on the truth. For thousands of years, the masses have been deceived, for thousands of years they have killed and persecuted each other in its name, and thankfully its reign of terror is soon to end.

As for the vast wealth and money these organisations have accumulated through fleecing their flock, this alone is a criminal act of the highest order and hypocritical to the very books that they tout.

What was created to put fear into humans by highly trained mind control experts (priests) in the Middle Ages as a form of placating the masses on such subjects as death, as well as making rules for the illiterate masses to obey at all costs is now gone. Finished.

The future for humanity now lies in technology. Man’s spirit will live on in the stars, not in lies and amalgamated myths moulded into a man written book.

Obama: “100 Million Sign Up to Obamacare”

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President Obama made the amazing announcement today whilst being interviewed by a press pack at his local golf course.

“I have some amazing news for you all. One hundred million people signed up to Obamacare today from my website. Now watch this drive,” Obama quipped as he hit the ball into the rough.

Fortunes have certainly turned around for the embattled president who is now riding high in the polls with his flagship Obamacare affordable care act (ACA).

News crews also noticed the president’s nose grow an incredible 23 inches as reporters were interviewing him during the golfing session.