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World’s First Ever Human-Monkey Hybrid Grown in Lab in China

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World’s First Ever Human-Monkey Hybrid Grown in Lab in China

Scientists have successfully formed a hybrid human-monkey creature – with the experiment taking place in China to avoid “legal issues”.

Researchers led by scientist Mao-Mao Espinoza spliced together the genes to grow a monkey with human cells.

“The first thing he did after being born is run over to a little red book in the corner of the room and began to calmly order the death of millions of landlords, jabbering on about something called the Great Leap Forward,” an alarmed Espinoza revealed.

The creature has now been given its own living quarters replete with communist furnishings and books about collectivism to keep it quiet.

“We are doing the experiments with monkeys in China because, in principle, they cannot be done [in Spain]” Rangoo Portomento, Project collaborator revealed hailing the experiment a “great success”.

The team have not yet published their findings, but confirmed the hybrid to EL PAIS.

“We are now trying not only to move forward and continue experimenting with human cells and rodent and pig cells, but also with non-human primates,” Espinoza said.

The scientist, from Spain, was responsible for creating the first human pig hybrid in 2017 called affectionately ‘Rosie’ after the American celebrity, O’Donnell.

5 Apps for Every Dedicated Prime Minister

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5 Apps for Every Dedicated Prime Minister

With the local elections out of the way and General Election fever gripping the nation, it would be easy to get sucked in and forget that anything else in British politics matters.

Not us. Now more than ever, we think it’s important to bring you the news from
outside GE2017, like, for example, this hard hitting story on the apps our very own
Prime Minister is using to run the country. A good Prime Minister also needs a good
phone provider, and with Asda Mobile’s 30-day SIM-free bundles, you can get the job
done to the best of your ability. Whoever steps through the door of number 10
following the 8th June will need to download the following 5 apps.

1. The Big Red Button
The PM is charged with the safety of the nation, and while one high profile party
leader has said he’ll never press the red button, our PM will need to download the Big
Red Button app anyway. Unleashing Armageddon from your phone is now a reality
with this great free tax payer-funded app.

2. Organise My Cabinet
One of the toughest jobs when forming a government is, well, forming a government.
Every PM has a duty to create an elite team of Cabinet members who will run the
various Government departments. Well, with the Organise My Cabinet app, you don’t
have to. Simply take a photo of those you’d like to feature in your cabinet and the
app will automatically rank and file them for you, pushing each person an automatic
email explaining where they stand.

3. PMQs Take Down Generator
A mark of a successful PM is to what extent they are able to bat away the comments
of the opposition at Prime Minister’s Questions each Wednesday that the House of
Commons is in session. Coming up with your own witty quips takes unnecessary
brainpower, and now, PMs can use this handy Take Down Generator app to help
them win every argument with a simple tap of an app. No thinking required.

4. Rent a Scandal
Need to put out a policy that’s likely to be unpopular? Don’t worry, the Rent a
Scandal app has you covered. Simply put in the time and date of a required scandal,
choose from a list of predetermined, scandalous scenarios and create the perfect
distraction on your policy announcement day. The press will be so distracted by the
scandal that they’ll never pay you a minute’s notice.

5. Signal Blocker
If your phone’s ringing off the hook and you just wish you could ignore it and play the
“I didn’t have any signal” card, this app is for you. Simply load the app and you’ll
remain signal –free until you shut it down. Ignore those pesky phone calls from your
government ministers, the press and indeed your own family thanks to the Signal
Blocker app.

EU Blackmail: Totalitarian State Holds Britain to Ransom

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EU Blackmail: Totalitarian State Holds Britain to Ransom

 

This is why No Deal is the best option for any Brexit team on the cusp of so-called negotiations.

Every day, Brussels comes up with some ridiculous sum that Britain should pay as a penance for daring to leave the authoritarian pseudo-communist Soviet EU state.

£65 billion here, £125 million there, as these ridiculous sums are parried about, this is a sure-fire lesson in why the EU is essentially a racket, a mafia-like regime of thieves who imprison nations and make it almost impossible to leave.

The onus is on voters once again brought into the fray to vote for a strong conservative government to finally break the malaise that has not only entrenched the country but given the unelected communist Eurocrats carte blanche to threaten Britain with ransom bills every other day.

The EU do not negotiate, they utilise delaying tactics, they suddenly adjourn meetings and leave, they do not play on a level playing field, as they continually will move the goal posts until they get their desired outcome. This sort of nefarious dishonest technique employed by the EU, makes negotiation nigh on impossible.

Britain must preserve what it has left and leave the toxic EU with haste, with zero negotiation where blackmail is present. We must not be party to ransom, we must not capitulate or compromise with a state that threatens us on a daily basis.

On June 23, 2016, the historic EU Referendum vote showed an emphatic answer of defiance to 40 years of authoritarian rule by the EU over Britain’s sovereignty, its law, and its ability to control its borders.

We must not dishonour that vote on June 23, as it changed the course of history, where Britain would once again become a self determined country and not a slave to a Sovietised EU totalitarian Union.

No deal. No, no, no.

There shall be no deal with terrorists, and no deal with the EU, and they can implement as much Project Fear as they want on the populace, we do not negotiate with blackmailers and those who hold us to ransom.

The EU has not only threatened the UK with vast sums of ransom cash but have tried to destabilise British territories like Gibraltar. This form of threat is not only below the belt, but it shows what the EU is, a rogue state, floundering and lashing out.

The message is loud and clear. If the EU is prepared to put aside the threats, blackmail and ransom notes, there could be a deal. If the EU continues with its daily ransom demands, No Deal.

Corbyn Calls Boris Johnson a ‘Fopdoodling Old Scobberlotcher!’

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Corbyn Calls Boris Johnson a ‘Fopdoodling Old Scobberlotcher!’

 

“We don’t usually look at dictionaries, our only reference book is George Orwell’s 1984, and the Karl Marx/Engels Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei translated into easy to read English.

“Mr. Johnson certainly caught us on the backfoot, and after much deliberation and debate, we came up with a suitable retort,” a Labour election adviser told the Guardian.

Today at a press conference in Scunthorpe, Jeremy Corbyn angrily took the microphone and called Boris Johnson a ‘fopdoodling old scobberlotcher’ to much laughter from the assembled comrades and proles.

When asked what those words meant, the Labour leader was absolutely clueless, as these are words he was told to say by his election campaign aides.

“As I said earlier, I only read communist books and manifestos. I have no time to read literature of any other kind, and when I am in power, most intellectuals and literate people will be executed, because we don’t like people cleverer than us around. They’re dangerous, and that Boris will be first on the gallows,” a determined Corbyn told the assembled crowd to much cheer.

Cryogenically Frozen Brain Transplanted in Wrong Body, Claims Surgeon

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Cryogenically Frozen Brain Transplanted in Wrong Body, Claims Surgeon

 

The surgeon likes to work with hundreds of patients wanting new bodies and has a conveyor belt traction system in his operating room.

“I had just come off the golf course into the operating theatre and did not look at the list properly. Well, they wheeled in the brain and a body and I plonked it unceremoniously in the skull cavity. When the patient woke up he started oinking and said it was the wrong fucking body donor,” professor Cannelloni told NeuroScience Weekly magazine.

What the dozy surgeon had done was to transplant the brain of a pig into the body of an EU politician.

“The funny thing was, there was barely any difference in the awakened cadaver’s usual routine. He immediately went towards a trough we have for waste products and started to scoff away, much like a real eurocrat in real life. Of course, he was content after his meal of offal and bits,” one of the attending nurses revealed.

The recently released patient has gone back to being an unelected Italian representative in the EU Commission with a vast expense account, huge salary, unlimited travel benefits, and massive pension pot.

Comrade Keir Starmer a Danger to Real Brexit – Urgent Communique to Labour Brexiteers

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Comrade Keir Starmer a Danger to Real Brexit – Urgent Communique to Labour Brexiteers

Your party led by the Communist Jeremy Corbyn seeks to thwart any form of Brexit by watering down the terms of any deal.

Under the auspices of Corbyn and his counterpart, comrade Keir Starmer, the EU will play all the cards of the softest Brexit that could possibly occur. In fact, after the communist controlled ‘Brexit’ there will be no difference to the UK before ‘Brexit’.

Labour Brexiteers must thus join with the Conservatives in thwarting not only a Labour soft Brexit, which means no Brexit, but also thwarting the SNP from any sort of action that may break up the United Kingdom.

The two must work together as one in stopping the soviet machinations of the Marxist comrade Keir Starmer, a high party Labour official who not only wants to ruin a true Brexit but will leave the UK worse off than it ever was.

No deal is better than a bad deal, and Britain will always have access to the single market, as every country in the world already has. We will forge new deals on a global basis without the inhibitive forces of the EU breathing down our necks.

This election is crucial to the safety of the UK, not only in immigration terms, in military defence but also in preserving the Brexit the people voted for on June 23, 2016 in the EU Referendum.

To vote Labour is to not only destroy any form of Brexit but will enable the SNP to break the UK up and cause massive financial repercussions to Britain for many years to come as well as leave the country defenceless to outside attack.

How North Korean Cuisine Has Evolved Over the Years

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How North Korean Cuisine Has Evolved Over the Years

The capital city of North Korea has today many restaurants, however in the countryside, where the people are living in abject poverty, the situation is much worse.

“We eat dogs, rats, field mice and insects for any sort of protein we can find. Some people eat the bark off trees, or they grind up grass if they can find any and boil it in a pot. We have had reports of cannibalism in the past, but these are usually stories that come from the gulags across the country,” a peasant who lives 64 km from the capital told a recent group of visitors to the country.

Of course, there is a huge fear of being caught if you divulge any information, however, some North Koreans are able to defect South of the militarised zone and there they can reveal information about the secretive Communist state.

Much of the North Korean country is filled with camps for people who have either erred in the ways of politics or have been caught with illegal contraband.

“The propaganda the state delivers to the West is very false. The gulags that the Kim family have built are terrible places where hundreds of thousands of people are sent every year to die of starvation and overwork. This is the core of North Korea, any form of dissent will send you to one of these hellish places, and many are reported by their own neighbours or family members. Something must be done to free these people some day. I am asking from help from President Trump. Please stop the suffering of the North Korean people once and for all,” another dissident revealed.

While the North Korean leader lives in complete luxury in his palaces with plentiful gourmet food, his people are resorting to cannibalism to survive. This situation must not be allowed to go on any more, and hopefully military action very soon will free the people from the scourge of the Kim family that has afflicted the country for so long.

5 Ways in Which You Can Rock at Singles Nights

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5 Ways in Which You Can Rock at Singles Nights

However, such dating events can be quite fun and who knows, may even help you find that special someone. If you’ve decided to go to a singles night in your town, congrats! Here are five small tips to help you ease yourself back into the scene.

1 Relax as much as you can

Be honest, you’ve caused more than half the stress you’re feeling right now yourself by thinking too much about how you’re going to act at the singles event. Just relax! If you’re relaxed and have an overall chill attitude, chances of impressing someone cool that’s caught your eye are even higher. So just lay back and be the best version of yourself.

2 Keep an open mind

Most of us like to think that we’ve got a type and try to stick to that. I, for example, always thought I liked tall, muscular, brunette men with beards and green eyes. While this type of preference is understandable in your twenties, after a certain age the dating pool becomes narrower, and you might find yourself to be interested in someone that is the polar opposite of what you’ve been attracted to thus far. Just remember it’s ok to go outside your dating comfort zone, and have fun with it.

3 Don’t judge people

Many people attending singles events in London are past a certain age, and might be divorced and even have a few children on their hands. Remember not to judge people too soon once you find out they’ve been down the aisle before. Everyone is pursuing a new chance at happiness, just like you.

4 Flirt as much you can

Singles nights are first and foremost about having fun and making the most out of your experience. Therefore, don’t be shy to get back out there and flirt as much as you can with whoever catches your eye. Even if you don’t end up building a committed relationship out of it, it’s still going to be very spiritually rewarding to play around a little bit and flirt with interesting new people.

5 Don’t get drunk

I know that drinking a little bit to get your courage up might sound like a good idea before a dating event, especially if you’re going for the first time and don’t know what to expect. However, remember that showing up drunk to such an event will only help you make a fool out of yourself. Nobody likes a drunk party pooper!

French Election Schengen Zone Terrorism – Marine Le Pen the Only Answer

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French Election Schengen Zone Terrorism – Marine Le Pen the Only Answer

 

There is only one person who can halt this Schengen nightmare that has befallen the once great and beautiful country of France, and that is Marine Le Pen.

Preservation

The land that housed the greatest artists of all time, painters, architects and cuisine is being besieged daily by a torrent of unwanted migrants and terrorists crossing into its borders.

The boulevards, once attended by cafés and lounging Parisians now filled to the brim with the smell of faeces, and urine from the makeshift tents laid out amongst bickering African migrants fighting for some space which they think is owed to them.

How far into the toilet must one country go before someone stands up and says ‘Enough is enough!’ or ‘trop c’est trop!’?

It is time for the socialists to step aside, and for real action to take place, for a party that can save France from this disastrous decline and fall into the mire.

Perhaps, a Joan D’Arc character like Marine Le Pen, can finally bring an end to the terrible malaise that has befallen this once great nation, smeared by the EU for too long.

How many terrorist atrocities will it take for the French to finally come to their senses, to have cartoonists murdered in cold blood, or pedestrians crushed under trucks, or music lovers executed mercilessly?

France. Wake up. There is a whole world outside the prison of the European Union, a failed project that not only has imprisoned France but inhibited it from its true potential.

The fight is not with Britain, mes amis, but with the unelected cochons in Brussels, who dictate to you every day.

Break free from the chains and release the Gallic spirit across the globe with trade, manufacturing, enterprise, art, and of course the wonderful French Joi de vivre.

General Election: Jeremy Corbyn Vows to ‘Overturn the Rigged System’

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General Election: Jeremy Corbyn Vows to ‘Overturn the Rigged System’

In his first major general election speech, he said 8 June’s poll was not a “foregone conclusion” and Labour could defy the “Establishment experts”.

A Soviet Labour government would not “play by their rules,” he added.

No more elections once Labour in power

“We would also change election rules once Labour is back in power. Once we win, there will be no more need for elections in Soviet Britain ever again. This election could therefore be the last ever election you see in your lifetime,” Corbyn stressed.

The biased leftist BBC is fully behind Corbyn’s bid to thwart Theresa May’s hope to convert the Tories’ double digit poll lead into a bigger Commons majority.

Corbyn’s Labour government would halt Brexit and stop Theresa May strengthening her hand in Brexit negotiations providing the “strong and stable leadership” the country needs.

Instead, the majority Labour Remoaners would seek to fully reverse any notions of leaving the European Union and renegotiate with Brussels on full implementation into stronger EU union.

corbyn10

Bolshevik Revolution

The Labour leader looks set to run an anti-bourgeoisie campaign, presenting himself as a champion of the powerless proletariat against political and business culture.

He attacked the “morally bankrupt” Conservatives who he said would not stand up to those who seek wealth from hard work and other members of a “gilded elite,” who were extracting wealth “from the unfortunate circumstances of ordinary unemployed and unemployable people” who are the root of Labour’s voting underclass.

Labour would “end this racket” and “overturn the rigged system,” he told an audience of Labour supporters in London.

“Once we’re in power, everyone will be equal in poverty and suffering. There will be no more aspirations or silly things like that,” Comrade Corbyn added.

vintage-Labour-poster-Corbyn-s-ideas-are-prevailing360

Marxist paradise

He also said Labour was the only party that would “focus on the kind of country we want to have” – dismissing Mrs May’s election campaign as an “ego trip about her own failing leadership”.

“Let us look at the other socialist utopia — Venezuela. We want our nation to resemble that South American dream of extreme poverty, anarchy and chaos.”

And he insisted all of Labour’s policies, including an increase in corporation tax for big business and more money for carers and a £10 an hour minimum wage, were fully costed.

“If you own a property today, once we win you will not own that property any more. The owning of all private property is theft from the poorest of our society. For too long, wealth has been allowed to accumulate in private housing. Our collectivist Soviet system will free up wealth from private citizens and all property ownership will transfer to the state, to be redistributed to the populace as needed.”

Comrade Corbyn labour

Corbyn the Bolshevik survivor

Addressing Labour’s poor opinion poll ratings, he said he was given a 200/1 chance of becoming Labour leader in 2015 and he defied those odds.

“They have tried to oust me many times, but I as supreme Comrade to the Soviet Labour Marxist social-democratic party have endured and survived many attempts to remove me. They shall not prevail, as they have failed in the past, so today I survive and will survive to lead our great Soviet nation onwards.”

His message was uncompromising. Jeremy Corbyn attacked targets from what he called the ruling bourgeois elite. In doing so, he was trying to recapture the energy and rhetoric which enabled him to win not one, but two, Labour leadership contests.

He said a future Labour government wouldn’t play by the rules and denounced his Conservative opponents as morally bankrupt. Corbyn vowed to end the scourge of capitalism once and for all by ousting all bankers from the City, the media and business people were also in his sights – it created dividing lines not just with his current political opponents but with his party’s New Labour past.

“I will throw these financiers, capitalist scum, business profiteers into the back streets where they will be beaten, stripped of all wealth and seen off.”

Corbyn’s speech received a standing ovation from the invited audience of Labour members and was designed, in part, to motivate newer recruits in particular to campaign over the next seven weeks. It could also shore up the party’s core support.

There were spontaneous shouts of ‘Hail! Comrade Corbyn’ and ‘Bravo! Our Supreme white socked Soviet Comrade!”

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